Hey all, this is a sequel to "If I Had Only Known." I just want to say sorry, 'cause I haven't updated my other fics in awhile. I'll get to them ASAP. Thanx! Oh yeah, me no own Sailor Moon. So don't sue me kay?

"....." Talking '..' remembering/thinking in real-time … talking in dreams

What I Know Now

It had been years since that battle. Ami had thrown herself into school and senshi business even more then usual. She ended up graduating several years earlier from both High school and Grad School. She never saw her friends outside of them showing up to stop her from taking on too many enemies by herself. Everyone had tried to get her to open up and not be a mindless suicidal working drone. But they ended up giving up, and just showed up to stop her from being killed.

Ami slowly went into her apartment and shut the door behind her. Sighing, she dropped hr stuff on the floor without a thought, and shuffled over to fall onto her couch. Closing her eyes she drifted off into a scream filled sleep. It was the same dream she'd been having since…then.

'Watching as the Youma took to the air, the shock of being hit from the side. The sinking feeling of doom as she felt something snap and suddenly vanish from her chest. Opening her eyes and seeing the vacant stare of her lover and better half...Knowing that her life would be hell for the rest of her eternally damned lifespan.'

'Sometimes life just sucks.'

Ami woke to the sound of voices. Or at least, she thought they were. Sitting up she clutched her sheet to her chest, in her panicked state forgetting she fell asleep on the couch, eyes wide open and looking for an attacker. When one didn't immediately pop out, she relaxed her shoulders slightly. She lay down again and closed her eyes. Just as she was about to drift off back to sleep again, two things entered her sleep-deprived brain. One: She was in bed when she went to sleep on the couch. Two: She could hear the voices again. Her eyes shot open, the voices sounded so damn familiar. She just couldn't place them exactly. She slowly got out of bed, and hugged her buttoned up pajama top to her body. Slipping her feet into her deep green slippers, she shuffled out of her bedroom and into the hallway of her small apartment.

Looking into the other bedroom, she saw that it was undisturbed. Hearing the voices behind her, she turned quickly. Seeing nothing she slowly walked down the moonlight lit hallway. She slowly glanced into the living room. Nothing was out of place, nothing but…. Ami walked over to the small table by the door. Her bag. Her bag that she dropped on the floor was now on the table. She remembered with a small sob, that her love always used to do that. Put Ami's bag on the table so that the floor was clean.

Two tracks of tears slowly formed unnoticed on Ami's face. A light turned on behind her and, Ami spun around, the words of her attack died on her lips. The kitchen light was on. Who? Ami walked over to the opening that was the doorway to the kitchen. Looking in, she stifled a gasp. Standing there, was not only a younger version of herself, but also Ami's soul mate, Makoto, as well. The two ethereal figures paid no attention to the soul-broken woman who slid to the floor in tears. They continued to talk and laugh in voices that were strangely muted.

Ami watched in fascination and horror as she relived a seen from her past.

'"Hey Mako! Let's go take a walk!" Her younger ghostly self said. The ghost figure of Makoto gave a sigh as she smiled, "Oh man, Ami. It's raining. Why do you always want to take a walk when it's raining?" The ghost Ami pouted and released her hold on her lover's arm. "Because I love the rain, and I love walking with you. Why can't we go walking in the rain? Please? Just this once?" Makoto sighed, "That's what you said last time. But if you really want to…"'

The real Ami watched as her younger almost carefree self squeal in delight and pull the other figure towards the door. Ami let out a sob, and buried her face in her hands. Eventually, she cried herself to sleep.

Ami woke up in her bed, again. The covers were pulled firmly up to her chin. Another pang of sadness raced through her heart, this time multiplied by two. This is how she used to wake up if she fell asleep on the couch. Mako would laugh and tell Ami that she was getting to old to carry the smaller senshi to bed…

What the hell is going on here? Ami thought angrily to herself. Remembering what happened last night, another tear escaped from behind Ami's eyes. Frustrated, she sat and wiped it away. Getting out of bed she went to take a hot shower to try and ease the tension that had built up between her shoulders.

Letting the steaming water pour onto her neck and back, Ami thought about what was happening. Her stuff, the ghosts, waking up in bed… she needed to talk to Setsuna. Which would be hard, as the last time she saw the Outer senshi, she had basically told them to shove off, and that she didn't want to ever see them again. "Damnit! Why is this happening now!? Why is this happening at all!?" She hit the wall, not caring about the tears that were falling down her face, or that the wall tiles split and cracked. She closed her eyes and sobbed. Feeling something behind her, she opened her eyes and quickly turned around. Slipping on the blood and porcelain on the bottom of the tub, she fell back and hit her head on the wall. Merciful blackness entered her consciousness, her last memory was of a flash of brown, and a soft voice that felt and sounded so familiar.

' "Come on! Were gonna be late! The girls are gonna be mad!'
What? Is this?


"Alright, alright! I'm ready lets go!"
Mako? What's going on?


"Do you have the tickets?"
Hello? Can anyone hear me?


"Check."
Please! This isn't funny!


"Do you have the blankets and the basket?"
Why this? Why this memory?


"Double check."
Why am I seeing this? Is this some sort of torture? Why?


"You got the video tapes, camcorder, and the fuzzy pink handcuffs?"
………….


"Che-..."
Am I dead? Is this a hell? Making me see what I want the most? Cause if it is I just say you can stick it up you're a-


"^_^*"
BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO.


"Your mean, Mako."
Because I have to? What?


"But you love me anyway, right?"
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T FACE THE PAST, YOU CAN'T MOVE INTO THE FUTURE.


"....... Yes. But your still sleeping on the couch tonight."
What? Are you on some sort of crack?


"Awww, you know I was only joking Ami."
FACE THE PAST, TO SEE THE FUTURE. THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.


"...... Let's go..."
What? What do you mean?


"Awww man...." '

'Ami…. Wake up Ami….'

What is this?

"Ami, wake up."

"No, don't wanna."

"You have too."

"Go wake the hedgehogs up."

"……. Huh?"

"Leave me 'lone."

"Can't do that love, you have a-"

Ami bolted up into a sitting position. She immediately grabbed her head and moaned in pain. Hearing a soft chuckle, she looked up through tears of pain.

"Mako?"

And then she fell back into the inky blackness.

END PART ONE