Title: Knots

Author: Jlo10131121

Rating: PG-13?

Summary: Everyone has a soul mate. But what happens when yours is married?

Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I sure as hell wish I did. I'd let Liv and Elliot come out and play a hell of a lot more.

Elliot

Elliot barely noticed. He was so busy with his life – his wife, his kids, now mostly grown, one still in diapers, fixing the house – that he barely noticed when his partner started dating again. It started out small – little things: not staying out late with the guys for drinks, forgetting to make him coffee when she got up to get a cup, and then slowly progressed to more obvious things that Elliot, in all his busyness, failed to notice. The way she rushed through the paperwork at night – he barely noticed because he was trying to do the same, get home in time for dinner, play with Eli, help Liz or Dickie with their homework, assuming they needed help still at the tender age of sixteen. The slightly distracted look on her face, a half-smile perpetually curving her lips, the faint lightening of her eyes, the lifting of the dark shadows. Like a weight was slowly being lifted. All this he hardly noticed. Until God knocked him on his ass.

At forty-two Olivia started dating this guy; his name was Robert Andersen, or as Olivia called him, Rob. And at first, Elliot was okay with it. Nothing would change. It never had before when Liv dated men, why should now be any different? But it did. She did. Olivia didn't even tell him that she was going out on a date with him for the first time. Elliot's only inkling that anything was different than every other night was the following morning when Olivia came in with a small smile on her face and a bounce in her step. In anyone else, it wouldn't have meant a thing, but in Olivia-World, it was tantamount to a promotion. So rarely did she have great first dates that would lead to second dates and so forth, that Elliot was surprised and almost didn't recognize the signs when she came in that morning. But he did, when she did. "What's with the good mood? Had a hot date last night?" he joked.

Olivia gave him a mock glare as she sat down but said nothing. That, more than a response, told him volumes.

Elliot got a funny feeling in his stomach and with a half smile on his face, asked his partner, "so, are you going to see him again?" half anticipating, half dreading her answer. It was quite perplexing as to why the outcome of his partner's romantic engagements mattered to him and since Elliot was a man who did not entertain the why of much of anything outside of the job, he didn't dwell on the reasoning behind his emotional rollercoaster ride.

A soft look came into her eyes that had his stomach in a ball of knots and his throat tight with something he didn't care to examine, her lips softening in a sweet, almost smile. "Yeah, I think I will."

The I think I will turned into a definitely the very next week, after a harrowing case involving a pedophilic serial killer derailed Olivia's plans four nights in a row. Elliot overheard her tell Rob that she would call him when the case was over so they wouldn't have to keep making plans and canceling them. He shamelessly eavesdropped, pretending to be paying attention to his paperwork, listening to the deep voice on the other end of the line. He was unable to make out words, but he got the gist of it from her friend. Apologetic, but understanding. Finally, someone who can sympathize and employs patience. She deserves that, he thought, but that ball of knots in his stomach tightened, ever so slightly.

Olivia

The second and third dates were just as wonderful as the first. Robert was everything she wanted in a man: handsome, sweet, understanding, patient, funny and strong. Strong in all the ways that mattered, be it physically (God! He was a beautiful man!), mentally, or emotionally. Robert handled the cancellations and rescheduling with grace. A few times rueful frustration tinged his tone, but never did she gain the sense of anger motivating his words or selfishness in his voice. As an EMT, he understood work, more often than not, came before pleasure. Olivia met him through Dr. Warner at a lunch with some of her friends from St. Vincent's Hospital. They had hit it off almost immediately, each surreptitiously glancing at each other's hands for obvious signs of marriage or other commitment. Melinda had whispered on their way for a bathroom run that he was unattached, completely not involved with anyone.

At forty-three, Robert had never been married, which made Olivia question first his orientation, and then his mental stability. Pot, meet kettle. It may have been hypocritical to think that way, but more often than not, when a person, especially a man, had never been married and was still single, either they were homosexual or had psychological issues. But, Olivia thought wryly, she couldn't talk. Her psychological issues could fill a volume of Encyclopedia Britannica and still have room, starting with her mommy and daddy issues and ending with the fact she was in love with a married man.

Even so, Olivia had made a decision after Elliot went back to Kathy, to try to find happiness, in some shape or form. She deserved it, for all that she had gone through, for all that she would go through in the future, she deserved happiness. Loving an unattainable man had just brought her a world of hurt, which she did not need or deserve.

Their third date, Robert took her to Coney Island after finding out this New Yorker had never been. "Seriously? You've never been to Coney Island?" he'd asked incredulously during the tail end of their second date. She'd lightly shaken her head 'no' and he gave her a look before stating, "well, we're going to have to rectify that."

And so now, here they were, up in the Wonder Wheel, eating quickly melting ice cream and going up and around, gaining perspective from their lofty height. Olivia gazed down at the lights and the moving cars, people going about their business, the cars looking like a child's Matchbox toys. From their height, they looked like puppets, pulled on strings invisible to the naked eye, pulled from some pinnacle high above their heads. You couldn't see the strings, but sometimes, if you paid enough attention, you could almost feel them. And if that was the case, and God was up there, pulling strings, what did it matter? What did any of it matter?

"Do you ever wonder," she said softly, "what the world would be like without you in it?" Usually she saved the morose talk for a time later in a relationship – actually, she'd rarely gotten to that point – but something about the moment brought the question to light.

Robert glanced at her in consideration, "what brought that on?" he asked, not yet answering the question.

Olivia shook her head. "Forget it, never mind my dark thoughts. I don't know where it's coming from. Forget it."

Robert was quiet for a long moment, just looking at her in contemplation. Olivia's face was turned away, toward the side open to the air, basking in the gentle breeze coming off the ocean. "Yeah, I have. And I think the people I've helped, the people you've helped, wouldn't be around, or be the same, without us in it. We're all here for a reason, Olivia."

At that, Olivia turned her head back to her date, and the lights reflected in her eyes, bouncing and reflecting the images across the canvas of her eyes. The quiet moment grew too pregnant with something and so Olivia went to raise her ice-cream cup to eat a spoonful. But Robert intercepted the move, and cupped her cheek instead, his work-roughened thumb smoothing back and forth across her cheek, palm cupping the soft curve of her jaw and chin, fingertips poised on sensitive points at the curve of her neck. He leaned in, a smooth, but slow motion, giving her every opportunity to stop him, but she didn't. She didn't want to. For once, she wanted to do something independent of work, of him, of everything not of this moment.

Olivia almost couldn't catch her breath, she was so intent on the moment, anticipating the touch of his lips, the mingling of their breaths, the taste of his mouth. Finally, finally, his lips touched hers and their lips did everything she was thinking about.

And in that moment, on their third date, on the Cooney Island Wonder Wheel, Robert and Olivia had their first kiss.

Chapter Note: Chapter 1 was edited to remove part of Chapter 2 that somehow was included. Now to your regularly scheduled programming...