Presenting: 5 WAYS TO DEAL WITH TAMAKI SUOH (Disclaimer: I own nothing)
Number 1: THE HARUHI CARD
Setting: Music room three
Problem: Tamaki wants to waist funds on a pointless trip to the beach
Characters: Tamaki and Kyoya
Tamaki: KYOYA! Let's go to the beach this weekend. We can swim, and collect shells, and play with Anastasia!
Kyoya: Well…, is that such a good idea?
Tamaki: Why wouldn't it be?
Kyoya: Well Haruhi could bet sun burn.
Tamaki: Umm (uncertainly), She could wear sunscreen.
Kyoya; She could drown.
Tamaki (slightly freaked out) LIFE VESTS?
Kyoya: And those perverted twins would see her in a swim suit….
Tamaki: NO! WE WILL NOT GO TO THE BEACH! (Dramatically faints)
Kyoya: well that solves THAT problem.
Number 2: FLATTERY
Setting: Tamaki's house
Characters: Tamaki and Haruhi
Haruhi: Sempai, why the hell did the twins kidnap me and bring me here?
Tamaki: So that you could wear this! (Holds up frilly pink dress)
Haruhi: (Fake blushes, and acts bashful) But Tamaki, I couldn't wear such a thing, I would be embarrassed in front of you, my beloved.
Tamaki: (swoons) its okay my darling daughter! Be not afraid!
Haruhi: I can't papa, I just can't.
Tamaki: (squeals and passes out)
Haruhi: (Rolls eyes and walks away)
Number 3: Distraction
Setting: The commoner's supermarket
Characters: Tamaki (seeing a pattern here?), and Haruhi
Tamaki: My darling daughter! Is that you!
Haruhi: What the heck are you doing hear!
Tamaki: Shopping! Daddy loves accessories!
Haruhi: This is a super market, where you buy FOOD!
Tamaki: UMMM, YAH, I mean…, I'm here for instant coffee for the club.
Haruhi: That's my job! Besides we already have an entire closet full!
Tamaki: Did I say coffee? I meant…RAMEN!
Haruhi: You have enough ramen to last you a life time!
Tamaki: UMMM WELL, you see by Ramen, I actually meant…
Haruhi: (points behind him) OH MY GOSH! That poor little girl is crying because her cat is stuck in a tree!
Tamaki :( whips around frantically) Where? I'll save you, my princess!
Haruhi: (sneaks away)
Wow Tamaki, a tree in a store? How oblivious can you get?
Number 4: Duck tape
Setting: Twin's garden
Characters: Twins an (again) Tamaki
Tamaki: I am so gorgeous! It is a blessing and a curse. I am loved and hated by all! But it is my job to spread beauty throughout this black and white world and…
Hikaru: (whispering while Tamaki is rambling) Kao, you thinking what I'm thinking?
Kaoru: (whispering back while Tamaki is STILL blabbering) I'm always thinking what your thinking Hika! But yes, I do know.
Hikaru: (evil grin) Tamaki, this is your own fault (pulls out duck tape)
Tamaki: (stops yapping) what are you- (is cut off when tackled by twins)
Number 5: Tamaki, meet the nice men in the white lab coats, just hold still while the give you some medicine, then you can take a nice LOOOONNNGGG nappy nap,
Thanks for reading!