MARVEL TEAM-UPS #1
SPIDER-MAN/REVY:UNLIKELY ALLIANCE
By:DPZ
It wouldn't the first time that Peter Parker A.K.A the Amazing Spider-Man woke up in a mysterious room, heck if he got a nickel for every time this happened to him he'd be a millionaire by now. As he got back to his feet, the web-crawler looked at his new surroundings; it was more or less a dark room with a door that stood in front of him, needless to say Peter was a tad confused.
Spider-Man: well I've been some lousy death trap rooms before, but this one seems a bit...low budget
The spandex clad super-hero waited a few seconds for his spider-sense to go off and alert of some grand duos threat to come through that door and try to kill him, but nothing came, no masked maniacs, no killer robots, not even an angry post-man.
Spider-Man: Ok this is either the most elaborate plan to kill me or I'm trapped in some guy's closet
It was then that Peter heard a soft groan behind him; he quickly spun around to find a girl lying unconscious on the floor. The girl looked of Asian descent and about in her early twenties with light brown eyes and hair with a tattoo on her shoulder, but the thing that caught Parker's eye was the two pistols she had holstered on each of her sides.
?:...ngh, damn it what the hell happened? *opens her eyes* Holy Shit!
With amazing speed, the mysterious girl reached for one of her pistols and had it not been for his spidey-sense, Peter would have had a hole in his head. Luckily, he managed to dodge the bullet at the last second.
Spider-Man: *grabs her wrist* hey it watch lady, I'm not your enemy!
?: Fuck You! *grabs her other gun*
Spider-Man jumped back to avoid the bullets that were being fired at him and landed on a nearby wall, however the second his hands and feet touched the walls surface, he felt a powerful shock hit him; making him fall to the ground. The power of the shock made every single muscle in Peter's body went numb, making him fall to ground like a chunk of metal. At the same time, the woman had gotten to her feet and walked over to the paralyzed super-hero and aim her weapon at the center of his forehead with a look of pure fury in her eyes.
?: listen closely spider-prick, you've got about five seconds to tell me where I am and why I'm here before I put a hole in your goddam head
Spider-Man: *weakly* Please...wait; I don't know what's going on...
?: Sorry buddy, but that wasn't the answer I was looking for, say goodbye fucker!
Just before the gun-touting girl pulled the trigger, the sound of a speaker clicked on, making the girl's attention to the sound rather than gunning down the wall-crawler. Just then an all too familiar voice to Peter was heard over the room's hidden speaker.
Arcade: ah, ah, ah my dear, you don't get to squash the spider, that's my job!
Spider-Man: Arcade...
Arcade: the one and only web-head! and you and your new friend have just won a fun filled day at the marvelous MurderWorld!
?: Who the fuck is this?
Spider-Man: *slowly gets to his feet* his name is Arcade, he's a nut-job who runs a killing field called MurderWorld and my guess is that we're already here
Arcade: Well aren't you the clever boy? And I see that little shock I gave you wearing off
Spider-Man: So who hired you to try to kill me? Osborn? Octavius? Jameson?
Arcade: Like I'd tell you! But I will say they paid more than a pretty penny to have me shut you up!
?: Hey asshole, you better tell me who fuck is trying to have me killed right now or I swear I'm going to pump you with so much lead that you'll set off every metal detector on the goddam planet!
Arcade: My what a temper you have, but like I told bug-boy over here that information is classified, so you won't be getting anything out of me either, but enough about 'who wants me to kill who' you've got a park to enjoy! Tootles! *laughs insanely and stops the speaker*
With that, the door inside the room the hero and the gun-slinger were trapped in opened automatically before them.
Spider-Man: It seems safe enough, well for the moment it is, we should-
?: What's with all this 'we' shit! I'm going to find this prick and kill his pansy ass and if you to even so much as try to even say no I'll fucking kill you so fast you won't realize you're in heaven getting ass fucked by the holy motherfucking ghost until a day later! You got that?
Spider-Man: Look I don't know who you are, but I know
Arcade and I know how this place works so if you want to survive you'll stick with me
The woman growled and swore so more under her breathe before grudgingly nodding in acknowledgment to the super-hero.
Spider-Man: by the way, who are you anyway?
?: The name's Revy and F.Y.I Spider-Wuss when we find
Arcade, I'm killing him
Spider-Man: I'm not going to let you do that
Revy: I was hoping you'd say that, now I can have another reason to kill you
Spider-Man: Another? Why would you say-
Revy: Come on shit-head, let's get this over with
This was clearly one team-up that Peter wasn't going to enjoy, but he knew it was better keeping this girl at her side rather than let her wonder around in this giant death-trap herself.
As the two temporary allies stepped out of the room and into a massive carnival themed park, at first glance it would seem like a child's dream come to life, but to someone like Spider-Man; it was a place where someone could die in a thousand different ways.
Revy: This is it? Seriously, it looks like some brat's paradise
Spider-Man: Trust me Revy, with this place, looks can be very deceiving
The second Revy took another step, a giant buzz saw shout out of the ground, nearly slicing her in half; had not her 'partner' saved her by pulling her back with a web-line. This rescue of course didn't sit well with the gun-slinger.
Spider-Man: see what I mean?
Revy: Fuck! Warn me next time before you do that shit!
Spider-Man: *in a sarcastic tone* your welcome
Revy: oh go blow it out your ass! Let's move!
The two cautiously walked out into an empty fairground were they found multiple booths with different games and prizes, however the web-slinging warrior knew that in Murderworld, even the most innocent looking item could kill you in a heartbeat.
Revy: you feel that?
Spider-Man: No, my spidey-sense isn't going off on anything so far
Revy: screw your shitty-sense, I mean do you feel like you're being watched
Right at that second, Peter's spidey-sense flared up again. As it did, a large group of clowns carrying various hand held weapons such as knives, clubs and baseball bats leapt out from out from the many booths. In just a few seconds, they surrounded duo; all of them with a look of death in their eyes. While the super-hero had no intentions of killing these thugs, Revy on the other hand had no qualms with blowing their brains out and wall-crawler knew it.
Spider-Man: I think it goes without saying that I don't want you killing anyone Revy
Revy: Yeah I figured, I need to save ammo anyway, Arcade must've taken my extra clips
Spider-Man: So, I'll take the ones on left and you take the ones on the right?
Revy: *cracks her knuckles* fine by me, I've wanting to hurt someone all day
Clown Thug Leader: get 'em!
The clowns rushed at them with their weapons drawn, ready to kill them without hesitation. Spider-Man leapt forward and fired webbing at the two painted thugs in the front and slung them into a nearby booth. Another one of the clowns attempted to swing his sledge hammer at Revy, but the nimble young woman ducked before the weapon struck her and punched him in the knee cap, breaking it on contact with her fist. Once he was down, Revy roundhouse kicked another clown that tried to rush her with a baseball bat; she then picked up the bat and smashed it against another one of her attacker's skull with the force of a freight train.
Revy: I'm fighting clowns, Rock is never going to believe this *hits another guy in the head with the bat*
Meanwhile on Spider-Man end, he was busy fighting his share of the thugs. He evaded an oncoming fist and knocked out the thug with a strong uppercut, then kept up the assault on the gang of hired muscle by shooting out more webs and getting another one of Arcade's henchman webbed up against a wall. Another pair of thugs cried out in rage as the attempted to change at the masked hero, only to have the spandex hero to jump over the both of them with a great leap, knocking their heads together while he was over them before his feet hit the ground, knocking them out instantly.
Clown Thug Leader: This is useless, let's get the hell outta here!
The clowns that Spider-Man and Revy didn't beat-down dropped their weapons and ran off further into the killer theme park.
Revy: Well that was fun, but we're still no closer to finding Arcade
Spider-Man: *looks at the webbed up henchman* not necessarily *walks up to him* so tell me buddy, you got any idea where your boss is hiding?
Clown Thug: I ain't telling you shit!
Revy: Oh I think you will
Clown Thug: oh yeah, why's that?
Revy: *shoots him in the leg* that's why
Clown Thug: arragh! You Bitch!
Spider-Man: Revy!
Revy: Relax bug-boy; it's just a leg wound
Clown Thug: you freaking psychopath!
Revy: Now start talking *puts the gun against his groin* or I
turn balls into paste!
Clown Thug: ok, ok! I'll talk! Arcade is in his control room inside the big top! I swear I'm telling the truth!
Revy: good boy *pistol whips him, knocking him out* well you heard him, let's go
Spider-Man: you shouldn't have done that Revy
Revy: why, because he didn't deserve it? News flash retard, he and his friends just tried to kill us! And the only reason I didn't clear his skull out with a bullet was because I didn't want to hear you bitch and moan while we looked for Arcade!
Spider-Man: We could done it another way!
Revy: Christ I hate you super-heroes; you act all high and mighty like you were god's gifts to fucking world, but all you do is make life shit for everyone else! You and your spandex butt buddies started a civil war, made the Hulk declare war on the whole fucking planet and let aliens invade earth right after that! You want to know what we did to those Skrulls when they came to our city? We butchered every single green skin fucker we found, we slaughtered so many that they ran away like the space-pussies they were and we did it without any help from a single asshole in tights!
Spider-Man: You can't seriously blame me for all of those events!
Revy: No, but I can still blame you for what you did to me
Spider-Man: I've never done anything to you!
Revy: that's the point you shit-stain! You never did anything for me, even when I needed you the most!
Spider-Man: what are you talking about?
Revy: Well let me tell you a story, I was just a little girl growing up in China Town. I must've been at least nine years old when it happened. I was going back to my shit-hole apartment where lived with my guardians when this group of wannabe triad fuckers cornered me in an alleyway and beat the shit outta me before taking their turns with me. I wanted it to stop; I hoped that someone would save me and then I saw you swinging from building to building, I called out to you, but what did you do? You ignored me and swung your happy ass off to save someone who was apparently more important than me.
As Peter heard her story, he just couldn't believe what she was telling him, there was no way he could've not noticed this kind heinous act happen and just move on.
Revy: After the punks were done with me, I found out later on the TV that you went off to fight that freak in the green costume atop the Brooklyn Bridge to try to save some blonde and you even fucked that up
The hero's eyes widened under the mask in shock, now he understood her hatred, he was so wrapped up in saving Gwen that everything else just seemed to not exist in his mind, even the voice of a little girl crying out for help and even then he failed the woman he once loved as well.
Spider-Man: Revy...I'm so sorry that happened to you, but-
Revy: Fuck you apologizes because it's to goddam late for that shit! Now shut up and let's get moving!
The two temporary allies didn't talk much after that; they remained silent until they reached the big top.
Revy: well there it is, I can't wait to see Arcade's face when I kill his ass
Spider-Man: I'm not going to let you- *Spidey-sense goes off* Revy move! *pushes her out of the way*
Just as the two had moved out of the way, a massive being came charging out of the open of big top with the force of a freight-train. It didn't take long for Parker to recognize who their new attacker was.
Spider-Man: Rhino?!
Revy: great, more freaks in costumes
Rhino: That's right web-head; Arcade's paying me a lot to squish your head like a melon!
?: And he's not alone bug!
Just as he heard the voice of another familiar foe, a powerful blast struck the wall-crawler him and his companion in the back that sent them flying into nearby circus booth. While still on the ground, Peter got a good look at who had attacked them; it was none other than Herman Shultz A.K.A The Shocker.
Spider-Man: you're here to Shocker? And here I thought they only kept elephants and lions at the circus
Shocker: save the jokes Spider-Creep, Rhino and I are getting paid a big check to beat the crap out of you and your little friend here
Revy: I've had just about enough of this shit for one day
Shocker: Well someone's got a dirty mouth, well sorry honey, but I'm all out of soap so I'll just use this instead! *fires another blast at them*
Spider-Man and Revy jumped out of the way of blast. Revy drew her pistols and began fire at the villains, however her bullets bounced off of the Rhino's suit like BB pellets. She ducked just as the giant villain swung his fist her, she then rolled between his legs to evade his other fist that he attempted to bring down her head like a fist.
Rhino: you can dodge me all you like, but sooner or later I'll get you!
Revy: I doubt it dumbass! *to Spider-Man* hey shit-bag, how about some fucking help over here!
Spider-Man: *dodges another of Shocker's blasts* kinda busy here!
Shocker: you'll be dead before that happens!
Shocker fired another blast of vibrations at his sworn enemy; however Spider-Man once again avoided the attack and web-swung over to where Shocker was and kicked in him in the chest, sending the hired muscle hurtling backwards.
Shocker: you going to regret that!
Spider-Man: If that we're true then you would've made me 'regret it' a long time ago
The red and yellow rouge slammed his fists into the ground a fired another blast into earth, making peter lose his footing.
Shocker: I made a few upgrades since our last few fights
Spider-Man: *in sarcastic tone* I hadn't noticed
The web-slinger jumped back to his feet, delivering a powerful punch to Herman's jaw as he did. he then followed up the attack by doing a back flip that allowed his foot to also hit his jaw, making the villain fall flat on his back, however he recoiled by launching another blast at his sworn enemy, but red and blue clad hero leapt out of the way and Herman ended up hitting his friend instead of his foe.
Rhino: Watch it Shocker!
Shocker: Hey don't get pist at me, he moved!
Spider-Man: fellas, fellas there's no need to fight over little ol' me
Revy: and there won't be!
Revy then aimed her pistol at Shocker and fired off a round.
The bullet struck one of the costumed crook's vibrator gloves, damaging it on impact. A painful shock shot through the villain's body, stunning him long enough for him to be knocked out cold by Spider-Man.
Spider-Man: one down, one to go
Revy: *jump out of the way of Rhino's charge* give me a fucking hand over here!
Rhino: *Charging at Spider-Man* hold still bug!
Spider-Man: *front flips over him* yeah because I so want to be a greasy stain on the ground
Even though Rhino had missed his target, the force of his charge made him crash into a nearby wall, getting his horn jammed in the process.
Rhino: get me outta here!
Spider-Man: after all these times we've fought, he still falls for that trick *to Revy* thank you
Revy: whatever, let's just finish this so I can go home and get shit faced
Spider-Man: fine, but I'm telling you this here and now Revy; when you try to kill Arcade I will stop you
Revy: *grins darkly* you can try spider-bitch, you can try...
With pistols drawn and web-shooters at the ready, the two allies cautiously entered the base of operations of the mastermind behind everything. As they entered the big top, they saw the insane red-head standing in the center ring dressed as a ring leader with spotlight shining down on him.
Arcade: ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, come one come all to the greatest show on earth: the death of the amazing Spider-Man and the great Revy!
Revy: Hey asshole I'm going to make you wish you fucking killed me when I was knocked out!
Spider-Man: we're tired of this game Arcade!
Arcade: aw and I put so much work into this park for you two, oh well I guess you just can't please some people, but maybe you'll change your minds when I bring out the main event!
Arcade then pressed a button on a remote in his hand, suddenly the ground underneath them opened up, to which luckily Spider-Man grabbed a hold of Revy at the last second and web-slung out of the way of the opening earth and unto safer ground, together watched in both shock and amazement at the sight that rose from below the earth: A giant cobra.
Revy: *confused* where the in the holy mother of fuck did he find that?!
Spider-Man: *stunned* I have no idea...
Arcade: Sheila here is a little something I got from Monster Island, she cost me quite a lot, but I have a feeling I've made the right investment
Revy: that thing might kill me, but I'm taking your ginger ass to hell first *aims her pistol at him*
Spider-Man: Revy don't!
The smuggler pulled the trigger to her M9 and fired off one of her last bullets at the man who had kidnapped her, however to her surprise and frustration, the bullet harmlessly passed though the madman's body, it didn't take much of the gun-slinger's brain power to know what that meant.
Revy: shit it's a fucking hologram!
Arcade: Like I'd actuality risk talking to you two in person, sick 'em girl! *hologram shuts off*
The giant serpent let out a loud hiss and lunged at its prey, making them both leap of the way of its oncoming jaws. Revy drew her guns once again and opened fire on the serpent, however the creatures armor like scales made the bullets useless yet again.
Revy: this fucking sucks; I can't even break this son of a bitch's skin! *runs out of bullets* aw shit I'm out!
The cobra reared back its head and struck at the young woman, but while she thought it was the end of her, Spider-Man swung in and pushed her out of the way, allowing the monsters jaws clamp around him instead.
Revy: *shocked* he...just sacrificed himself to save me *chuckles darkly* perfect
While the snake was busy trying to consume its new meal, the pirate snuck out of the big top unnoticed. A few seconds later once Revy made her exit, the cobra's jaws slowly opened up, but not by will of its own, instead it was the strength of the spectacular Spider-Man.
Spider-Man: You know this would be the part where I'd make an overused joke about you needing a breath mint, but I figured since you can't talk most of my banter would be useless
The wall-crawler jumped out of the monsters jaws and web-slung over to a nearby support beam. The arachnid hero narrowed evaded the massive deadly fangs again when the serpent struck at him again. Peter shot out another web line, only this time it hit the giant snake directly in the eye, half-blinding it in the process. The snake let out a loud hiss in a mixture of rage and pain before vomit up a volley of acid at the one who had hurt it, only to have it miss and hit one of Big Top's walls.
Spider-Man: *while swinging around* oh course it spits acid, because fighting this thing would be too easy without it!
The web-slinging warrior swung up to the top of the beast's head, where he began to web-up the creature's mouth with every ounce of webbing he had at his disposal. The reptilian behemoth began to shake it's head violently as it tried to buck off its prey, only to have the hero hang on for dear life by the web-lines he had wrapped around its mouth, as it bucked it head swung closer toward the main support pole in the big top, when it was close enough, Peter pulled the beast's head toward the center pole and jumped off his wild ride at the last second, knocking the snake out when it's head collided with the pole and brought down the entire big top with it. After a few seconds of fumbling through the downed building, the red and blue hero pulled himself out of the mess he had made.
Spider-Man: now that's what I call bringing the house dow-ok I cannot for the life of me finish that sentence
Arcade: then allow me to end it for you!
Spider-Man spun around and saw the villain that had kidnapped standing behind him with a rifle aimed at his head.
Arcade: say goodbye Web-Head!
This wasn't enough time for Peter to move before the shot was fired...
Bang!
At first there was a silence as Peter though he had just been shot, but to his surprise and dismay, he saw Arcade looking down at his chest which was now gushing with blood before he slumped over unto the ground in a lifeless sack of meat, when the madman fell down Spider-Man saw Revy standing a few feet behind Arcade with her pistol still smoking in her hand.
Revy: *smiling darkly* well what do you know, one bullet left
Spider-Man: No! It didn't have to be this way!
Revy: oh cut the bullshit I just saved you spandex ass from certain death! Maybe I should've waiting for Arcade to kill you before I pulled the trigger so that way you could have someone to blow you in hell!
Spider-Man: That's it Revy, I taking you down!
Revy: bring it on cock-sucker!
?: That's enough!
Suddenly a flash of powerful lights shined upon the duo, just then a female figure slowly approached them. She was tall blonde haired woman in a dark red dress and scars all over her face. While Peter had no idea who this was, Revy on the other hand knew more than well who this newcomer was.
Revy: It took you long enough Balalika
Balalika: I apologize for that Two-Hands, but finding Arcade's base was difficult, you know how these freaks are with their secret hideouts
Revy: so did you find out for hired him to try to kill me?
Balalikia: unfortunately no, we tried everything in our power for that
Revy: hmph, I told you coming to New York was a waste of time and money
Balalika: Indeed, I should listen to you and Rock more often
*notices Spider-Man* oh I'm sorry Spider-Man I had forgotten you were here, you may go now
Spider-Man: What? No! I'm going to-
It was then that Peter heard the sound of many automatic rifles having their safeties turned off, he then saw more than five dozens groups of soldiers in Russian uniforms and with AK-47's in their hands and had them all aimed at his head.
Balalika: *coldly* prepares you didn't hear me quite right, you may leave and web-sling your way back to Queens or my comrades will tear you to shreds in seconds
Revy: I'd take the offer I we're you
The hero knew he was out-numbered and too weak to fight though these probably well trained men, so dejectedly, Peter slowly walked away from group and found a way out of Murderworld, all the while still feeling the guilt of loss for both Arcade and his failure to Revy.
...
It was mostly quit on the airplane ride back to Roanapur as Rock noted, it was supposed to be a simply business trip for himself, Revy and Hotel Moscow, but what he didn't know the full details until they had arrived where he saw the full extent of Balalika's plans come into being and needless to say he was shocked. After the events with Arcade the gun-slinger seemed a bit silent, however she didn't look upset in the least, she appeared to be happy about how the whole ordeal went down. After about a half-hour of flying, Rock decided to ask his friend a question he was meaning to ask her since her trip to Murderworld.
Rock: So what was he like?
Revy: who? Spider-Man? Meh, the guy's a total bitch I don't know why you look up to him Rock; he's nothing but a costumed emo punk like every other super fucker
Rock: well I thought it was kind of cool all things considered
Revy: you would, now it's just you, me, fry-face and the long ass flight back to our favorite shit-hole
Rock: yeah, Benny's going to be kind of jealous that you meet Spider-Man *Rock's phone rings and he answers it* Hello? oh hello sir...yes we're returning home...no, on behalf of Miss Balalika I assure you that nothing will be traced back to you...ok...oh, you want to talk to her? She's right her next to me *hands Revy the phone* he wants to talk you personally
Revy: oh fine *takes the phone* Hello?
?: You did performed excellently, after testing you in my mock Murderworld ,I may need to employ you again in the future
Revy: well if you keep paying me and my crew the money you shelled out to us when you first hired us then hell yeah!
?: good, also please inform Miss Balalika that I'm more than willing to take her up on that alliance with Hotel Moscow she had proposed
Revy: I'll be sure to tell her that, but I gotta ask; how did you manage to get to those robots of Shocker, Rhino and Arcade?
?: they are called Life Model Decoy's and they weren't cheap nor was the giant robot snake, but I had to mimic the Real Arcade's rather eccentric taste in some capacity and no doubt Spider-Man will eventually figure out my ruse
Revy: yeah and I got to feed him that bullshit story on the side, he'll have that hanging over his head for months! And when you bought me time to get Balakia and her boys in the field it was so worth it to see how pissed off he was to let me go!
?: indeed, that was the point after all; I wanted to humiliate him as he did to me, not to mention now I have at least some insight on Spider-Man's new fighting style which my men will be able to counter soon, now I must go, I have so much work to do
Revy: pleasure doing business with you Fisk
The End