Based before Undead Again and Always.

Okay, so this is a little different than all the other Caskett stories I've read. Most of the ones about their secrets have Kate's secret revealed first because it's the most obvious one and most influential. The only way this could really go the way I want is if HIS secret is revealed first. So... here it goes!

Warning: coarse language. View discretion is advised. ;)

"Rick... how could you... how could you do this to me?" Kate was standing in Rick's office. Farther away than she was just a few minutes ago.

"I did it to protect you Kate." Rick had to tell her. She may not feel the same way about him so why not tell her this? She already feels embarrassed about his feelings why not be angry with him too?

"Bull shit, Rick! You did it for the fucking story!" Kate felt tears prick the back of her eyes. "It's always been about the story hasn't it?"

"No, Kate it isn't about the story! It's about keeping you alive! Did you even think about how your father would feel if he lost you? He lost your mother to them and I'm sure as hell he doesn't want to lose you to them too! You saw how much he struggled with your mother's death! Don't you think he'll go back down that rabbit hole if he lost you? But if he lost you who would be there to save him Kate? WHO? Definitely not you. They will kill you, Kate." Said softly Rick, enunciating the last few words of his argument.

Kate looked shocked. She opened her mouth to speak but words escaped her. Rick moved a little closer to her. "Kate he can't lose you... I can't lose you. I know how much catching your mom's killer means to you... I do. But I also know how much you mean to your father, your friends. Your life is worth so much more than your mother's death. I'm sorry to be so blunt about this but... she's dead Kate. Running head first towards her killer won't bring her back. It'll only take you away from us like Coonan took her away from you and your father." Rick came to stand in front of her. He rested his hands on her arms. "I'm sorry that this hurts you Kate but I'm not sorry for saving my partners life. For keeping you safe and alive."

Kate's chest ached. So many things were running through her head that she thought it would explode. Rick's hands started pulling her closer to him. At first she resisted but then she just collapsed against his chest, sobbing and fisting his shirt. Rick wrapped his arms around her pulling her into a tight hug.

After a good few minutes of her crying and him comforting, Rick let go of her. Grabbed her hand and walked her over to a small leather couch sitting in the corner of his office. Once they sat down Rick tried to let go of Kate's hand but she only tightened her grip. "Rick... I... thank you. I'm still angry for you keeping this from me but I... Thank you for thinking of the bigger picture" Rick squeezed her hand lightly and gave her a small smile.

"Rick. I have a secret too." Kate said as she turned to face him, her one leg resting bent in between them on the couch, not letting go of his hand. "I... remember all those times you've asked me if I remembered anything about the shooting? Well... I, uh..."

"You remember everything." Rick finished for her, his voice monotone. It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"I... yeah. How did you..." Kate thought back to the protest bombing, the interview..."Shit... you heard me say it to... God I'm such an idiot..." Kate said slamming her free hand against her forehead.

Rick removed his hand from hers and stood up. Pacing while running a hand through his hair. Kate looked up at him. Hurt."No, Kate I'm the idiot. I should have known that you didn't feel the same way. You were embarrassed about my feelings. I'm sorry." Kate looked incredulously at him.

"Is that why you've been acting so stupid lately? You're trying to 'get over me' because you assume you know how I feel?" Kate got up and walked towards him.

"Well, clearly you don't feel the same way or else you'd have mentioned it to me. You could have just told me, Kate. I'm a big boy. I could've handled it." Said Rick, venom dripping off every word.

"You're wrong Rick. You're completely wrong. I wasn't embarrassed. I'm NOT embarrassed. I DO feel the same way but I was healing Rick. I was almost killed. I was getting over that goddamned PTSD.

"I still go to my Therapist. Did you know that? I'm still trying to heal but Dr. Burke helped me realize that I can't let her death define me. The reason I'm still here and not racing to the precinct to re-open my mom's case is because I want to be Kate Beckett, the woman who knows who she is. Not the Kate Beckett I've been for the last 13 years. The one who would do anything... I mean anything to get some sort of clue on my mom's case." Rick stopped pacing and turned to look at Kate,

"Rick I was going to tell you I heard you on that protest bombing case but we kept getting interrupted and then all of a sudden you just pulled away from me. Rick, I heard... I heard you tell me that you love me. I would have told you I felt the same way the moment I knew but... I had a bullet in my chest and I was bleeding out on the grass underneath you at the time. Rick I was able to see a future with you. I still can but if you're going to just assume you know what's going on in my head and you just assume that you know how I feel... I... I don't know if I can take that risk." Kate looked into his face softened as he started moving closer to her but she backed away.

"Rick I..." Kate took a deep breath as her eyes fell to the floor and her hands clasped together in front of her chest. "I love you. I love you and probably always will but... I... I just... I want to be with you. I want to be your girlfriend, your lover, and maybe one day..." she trailed off but the both knew what she was thinking. Your wife. "I just... God, Rick why didn't you just confront me when you knew? Why did you just assume how I felt?" Kate swiped at her cheeks ridding them of tears. "I just... I have to go Rick. I'll call you if a body drops." Kate walked out of his office, towards his front door as fast as she could. Rick chancing after her.

"Kate, wait!" Rick exclaimed as she grabbed her purse and reached for the door knob. "Please don't go..." Kate turned to face him. She cupped his cheek with her free hand.

"I'm sorry, Rick. I just need some time to think. I... always, right?" she said with a small smile and she turned back to the door and disappeared into the hallway.

Okay so likey? Lemme know! Also...Always? OMG I died! I still cannot believe that they're together! I keep watching the kiss over and over again in disbelief! I'm dreaming aren't I? I think I am. Anyways comment!