Its almost like every thing that could possibly go wrong was on the brink of happening like I was suspended over a cliff about to teeter off the edge into a vast abyss never to be seen again. He would never look at me... No the man I was thoroughly in love with was staring after my best friend...
But then a hand reached out and pulled me away from the void, from the edge i'd been walking on for sooo long. I almost forgot what love was..
Ever since he pulled me back from my death I don't ever want to let go of his hand. These green eyes always dazzled me...
And then everything started to go to hell. My hair changed from it auburn to black as sot and highlights of raw ash, my eyes changed to brown of mud and my skin tanned to make an awkward colored version of me. He and I were never official and he started dating someone else. I could see how things were and I was constantly pissed and ready for a fight. He noticed, I felt the distance in between us like a painful insult no matter what we did or what our intentions were it grew like something was literally ripping us apart. I knew what it was, it was her the girl that didn't understand that when he would quitly smile he was usually stressed, that his cheesy romance was the best thing since butter, and when he hummed when you kissed him was because he was happy. I miss the little things and I notice them missing all the time like when he gave me this secretive smile, his hand running up and down my spine, or how he tasted his food his jaw moving slowly back and forth.
"Conner, hows the girl?" I murmured leaning against the uneven lockers watching him get frustrated with the locker combo.
" The usual, you know. She was talking about some kind of party tonight, honestly I'll go and if I'm lucky I'll get really shitfaced." His smile was tight, and I saw the plain annoyance in his features like a billboard.
"But you're diabetic? That could kill you." As those words passed my lips I saw little miss perfect bob her perfect little head through the crowd.
"Hey, so party, ten o'clock. Bring booze." handing out slips of paper with addresses on them, but as soon as she approached us they seemed to simply disappear. " Hey, baby, I'll pick you up. Gotta get to class." Specifically kissing him so I would get the idea that she had rights.
He turned to me and said. " As I said... If I'm lucky."
I watched him walk down the hall, with every step he faded more from my line of sight into the masses. I wonder what he felt like, walking away? Was it simply going toward his next class? Or walking away from a life he never had?