Title: Mitternachtumläufe
Rating: PG
Summary: Lily Evans drowns her sorrows in alcohol while Severus Snape tries to find a way to make it all okay.
Setting: Immediately after the events of "Snape's Worst Memory" and the aftermath thereof as described in book seven.
"Another butter-beer, please!" Lily Evans called to the bustling barmaid as she hurried by, hefting a tray filled with dirty glasses and a few silver coins. "Actually," Lily sighed, "why not make it a double?"
"Bad day?"
"Kind of." What else would you call it, when your best friend insults your blood purity and the stupid idiot who tormented him into it has spent the last three hours trailing you like a little lost puppy? Lily wondered. At least she'd managed to lose James Potter when she'd escaped into the girl's bathroom, the haunted one no one ever used if they could help it. Hogwarts might have a policy against Apparition, but there were other ways to get out of the school undetected, and Lily, having spent enough time around Sirius Black to have learned them all, had easily summoned James' broom from the dormitory and leapt dramatically out of the high window and into the sky. Hogsmeade was out of bounds to all students except on special weekends, but it was almost summer, and Lily supposed whatever punishment she earned would be well forgotten by the time September rolled around. Anyway, she considered defensively. If I'd had to spend another minute with that git Potter, I would have done something I'd probably regret. Being out past midnight is the least of my worries.
Adjusting her apron and leaving the tray to hover unsupported above her head, the barmaid flashed an understanding smile. "I know all about that," she offered supportively. "You're sure butter-beer is all you want? We've got something stronger."
Lily shrugged. "I'm not of age yet."
"Lucky for you, a couple of nice chaps left this here a few days ago. You've heard of the Prewett brothers, haven't you?" asked the woman as she withdrew a slim vial from her apron pocket.
Lily reddened a little at the mere mention of the name. "Gideon?"
"And Fabian," the barmaid nodded eagerly. "Dreamy," she sighed. "I get goose-bumps just thinking about them."
"So, what's that stuff?" Lily asked, eyes narrowed as she examined the substance in the phial. "Fire-whisky?"
"Of course not! It's a rare aging potion. Put one drop in that sip of butter-beer left in your bottle, and I can bring you anything you like." The woman winked, and recollected her tray, which had begun to nudge her impatiently, the Sickle coins rattling and the glasses jostling each other, impatient for the wash. "I guess those fellows wanted to spread the mischief around. They used to come in here every weekend with a vial of that potion, and didn't leave until they were almost too dizzy to walk back to school."
Quietly, Lily debated for a moment. It was illegal, though she doubted anyone within the Ministry, which was currently overwhelmed with fighting the good fight against Voldemort's hordes, was interested in enforcing underage drinking laws. More to the point, if the Prewett's had brewed it, it might be quite dangerous. Shrugging, Lily decided it was well worth the risk. On a day like today, I've got nothing to lose, she decided, and promptly uncorked the bottle, squeezing a single miniscule drop into the dregs of her butter-beer. The taste was unchanged, and she glanced up at the barmaid with interest. "Did it work? How old am I now?"
Withdrawing her wand, the barmaid made a complicated swirl in mid-air, then tapped the point of the wand against Lily's temple. "Wow! Nineteen years, four months, one day and five hours," she announced. "Must have used too much, that or it gets stronger with age."
"It wears off in eight to twelve hours," Lily advised her, shrugging. She wished her new age would grant her newfound maturity, but in spite of having grown four years older in the course of a few seconds, she still felt unable to cope with her situation.
"Well then, what would you like? We've got all the usual: gilly water, fire whisky, Muggle rum, dragon's blood, unicorn hair tonic, mead, elf wine…."
"Surprise me," Lily decided gamely.
The woman shrugged, smiling. "All right." With a flick of her wand, she summoned a large glass filled to the brim with a clear sort of substance. At first glance, it looked simply like water, but when it caught the light it reflected it all around and took on an opal-like sheen. "Rarest elf-made vintage we've got. Some say it came all the way from Atlantis, but I don't put much stock in that. All I know is that we all showed up to work one day and there it was, twelve bottles of the stuff. Anyway, enjoy it, but careful. It's potent! Anything else I can do for you?"
"Yes," said Lily as she turned her head in the direction of the pub's door. She glared through the candle-lit gloom. "Give me something to make me invisible."
"What?" The barmaid glared at the patron who had just come in, a tall, graceless young man with dark curtains of hair that fell over his eyes. He looked around, plainly uncomfortable, then froze like a deer when his gaze settled on Lily. "Him?"
"Yes," said Lily, as Severus Snape began moving in her direction. "Oh, no."
"You want me to throw him out?"
Softening, Lily shook her head. "No, I guess I not. He has every right to be here, so long as he leaves me alone. Maybe I'll be lucky, and he'll go sit with someone else." As she watched, Severus picked his way gingerly past several crowded tables, deliberately heading towards the small, discreet corner in which Lily had chosen to sit. "No, not so lucky."
"Hi," ventured Severus cautiously. Up close, his skin was plainly more pale that usual, and his eyes were rimmed with red, as though he had been crying. His chapped lips looked bitten. "Can I sit down?"
"I don't care what you do, Severus."
"Lily -- don't --"
"Fine! Snape, then." She glared, then turned to the barmaid. "Did you say you had a bottle of this stuff?" she asked, tapping the side of her glass. "I know you said it was strong, but I have the feeling I might need it."
The woman nodded. "Of course, dear." She conjured a bottle from the back and set it down on the table beside Lily's elbow. "For you?" she asked Severus, her tone not nearly so kind.
"What does she have?"
"Wine, but I'm afraid this vintage is only available to patrons above the age of seventeen." Her brow wrinkled. "Which you are plainly not."
Severus frowned. "How did you get it then?" he asked Lily.
"Gideon and Fabian Prewett," Lily answered cryptically, exchanging a smirk with the barmaid before staring back at Severus, stony and radiating disapproval.
Severus stared at her blankly for a moment, then nodded, understanding. "Aging potion, am I right? Well it just so happens I brewed some the other day, when I was helping that fourth year Ravenclaw that Slughorn asked me to tutor." Fingering the phial in his pocket, Severus withdrew it, containing his urge to smirk as Lily and the barmaid blanched. Casually, he knocked the remaining liquid back. "I'm guessing I should be nearly twenty-five now, after all that. The wine, please," he said, sending the barmaid away scowling as he tossed a gold Galleon down on the table.
"It's illegal, you know," Lily said coldly.
"Then we can look forward to a shared cell in Azkaban," came Severus' easy reply. Nonetheless, he looked pained. "Lily, can't we --"
"No!"
"But I didn't mean --"
"I don't want to hear it," Lily snapped, receiving support from the barmaid, who nodded enthusiastically as she returned with Snape's glass of wine. Lowering her voice, lest nearby patrons overhear and mock her shame, Lily shook her head. "You called me --"
" -- I'm sorry!"
" -- a Mudblood! Do you have any idea how that made me feel?" Close to tears, Lily steeled herself with a sip of her wine. It tasted sweet against her tongue and she felt her stiff muscles relaxing just slightly. "Never mind," she added hastily, shaking her head. "I don't want to talk about it, least of all with you." Her eyes were wet as she looked at him. "Why don't you go back to the castle, Snape, back to your Slytherin friends? You're not supposed to be off the grounds on the weekdays, least of all at night."
Severus felt stung. Lily never used his surname, knowing how much he disliked being equated with his Muggle father, from whom he'd never known much respect or affection. Lips curling, he tried his own drink. "If you can flout the rules and leave school, Evans, then so can I." He watched, nervously, as Lily's green eyes flashed.
"It doesn't matter," Lily decided. "Fine, I'll let you get caught by Argus Filch, if that's what you want. Just don't expect me to defend you. At least I'm lucky enough to be a Prefect; McGonagall trusts me; what professor besides Slughorn is going to believe your flimsy excuse for being out at night?" She smirked, eyebrow raised. "Anyway, I have friends who will cover for me --"
"Friends! What, Potter?" Severus sneered dramatically, his hand tightening around his glass in his anger. "Don't you dare suggest that moronic, belligerent oaf is any sort of friend to you, Lily." In his upset, Severus forget about addressing her by her surname. "I saw you tonight, constantly on the move to avoid being dogged by him. You can't stand him any more than I can."
"For your information, I find him very attractive," Lily seethed, "James and I spoke at length this afternoon, and we've decided to spend more time together, which is why he was with me at school tonight. I agreed to go on a date with him, Saturday next when we're all out of school. We're meeting in Diagon Alley. We're going to buy next year's books together."
"But we -- we always go together --"
Lily shrugged, making much more of the gesture than usual. She practically wrenched her shoulder out of joint to display just how little she cared for Severus' concern. "So? I've decided I'd much rather with James this year. I thought you'd prefer it, anyway! Wouldn't you be embarrassed to be seen in public with a filthy Muggle?" She sneered painfully. "I wouldn't want you to have to lower yourself to spend time with someone with my blood. Besides, I accepted James' offer. He's wanted to go out with me since second year, and well, I think I fancy him and all!"
Aghast, Severus shook his head, his dark hair flying wildly. "But you can't!"
"I don't see why not. I'm a free agent." Sticking her nose in the air, Lily downed a bit more wine. "Anyway, I've always been quite fond of James," she added, lying through her teeth.
"That's not true. You've hated Potter as much as I have!"
"Well then perhaps I've seen the light," Lily said airily. "James is, well, everything I could ever ask for. Brilliant --" she ignored Severus' snort of disbelief "-- talented, has a good sense of humour --"
Severus stared, enraged. "So ganging up on others and torturing them for his amusement is having a good sense of humour now, is it?"
" -- he's extremely good looking," Lily managed to say with a straight face, thinking rather darkly about James' idiotic, perpetually un-kept hair.
"Have you gone mad?"
"No, of course I haven't," snapped Lily, thinking that she might have indeed. "My tastes have changed, is all."
"Well, in this brave new world we've apparently entered, I don't suppose it will come of any surprise to you that I've decided to start seeing Narcissa Black," Severus devised hastily, rearranging his features to cover his jealousy. Attempting to look smug, he thrust his chin in the air. "You may not have noticed, but she is quite beautiful, has a marvellous pedigree --"
"Ha! You make her sound like a prize poodle," came Lily's indignant reply. "If that's who you fancy, I'm glad I've given up on you and decided to go for James!"
Frozen, Severus gaped. "You -- you were interested in -- in me?"
"No," Lily covered for herself hastily. "What have you got to offer anybody, Severus Snape?"
Severus seemed not to have heard. He blinked at Lily, emotion visible in his eyes. "Because I -- I was interested --"
"Don't," Lily advised him coldly.
"But --"
"No. I don't want to hear it. I have nothing to say to you, anyway, remember? We already went through this." Lily sighed, thinking of the eager, desperate way Severus had hovered near the entrance to Gryffindor tower, waiting to have a word with her. His frantic apologies had fallen on deaf ears; she had grown tired of his excuses, and of trying to understand what severe change had taken place in the heart of her once best friend. "You called me Mudblood."
"Only because Potter --"
" -- don't you dare blame James," Lily said, although she did, privately.
"You suppose you'd be thinking clearly if he'd flipped you upside down -- with my own curse, I might add; who taught him that? -- and flashed your knickers at everybody who cared to see?" Severus blushed furiously, thinking of Lily's knickers. "I mean -- and if he took them off --"
"He took them off?" Lily demanded, astounded and furious. "Your pants?"
Turning crimson, Severus nodded miserably. "He did." Hostile, he crossed his arms in front of his chest, glaring. "But I suppose you think that's extremely amusing, coming from dashing Potter, don't you? His good sense of humour, isn't that right? You must think he's perfectly fascinating, the way he gangs up so bravely, four against one…"
"I don't think he's brave."
"Oh yes," Severus went on, ignoring this. Passionately, he glowered at Lily. "Marvellous James Potter. I thought you were more clever, Evans, than to fall for his brand of brutality."
"And Narcissa's better? Isn't she the girl who likes to kill birds with her bare hands, just for show?" Lily practically shouted. She gave him a steely look. "Never mind, I don't want to know what you think. You're a future Death Eater, that's your great ambition, isn't it, so what are you wasting your time with me for, anyway? I don't think Lucius Malfoy would think very highly of you chasing after a Mudblood."
"No, he wouldn't."
"So leave. I don't have anything more to say to you. I don't accept your apology, Snivellus, so get out of here and leave me alone." Lily gazed unhappily at the table as she poured herself a bit more wine, jerking her fingers away from the bottle as Severus reached for it and topped off his own glass. Unable to look at him, she buried her face in her arms. It was the second time in her life she'd called him that. Twice in one day. It hurt, the way the taunt sounded on her tongue, and made her feel ashamed of herself despite her fury.
A long moment of silence passed before Severus spoke. The insult, a favourite of the Marauders, stung coming from Lily's lips, but he managed to contain his temper at his wounded pride, and drew a deep breath. "Lily --"
"Don't talk to me," came her muffled reply. "Go away. Leave me alone."
"You know I didn't mean it," Severus tried. He frowned, wondering what to do in order to make it better. This is why I like Potions so much, he thought sadly. They make sense. You add the right ingredient, stir counter-clockwise like the book says, and everything turns out okay. If the wrong substance goes in, or the cauldron starts to smoke, or the brew turns orange instead of pale green, well, you just re-read the passage in the text and it tells you why, and everything works out for the best. But girls -- so complex! "I wasn't thinking."
Without raising her head, Lily attempted to shrug. "That's obvious."
In spite of himself, Severus' lips twisted into a wry smile. "I'm sorry."
"I know." Reluctantly, Lily raised her head. The flesh around her eyes was puffy, and her eyes sparkled; she'd been close to tears. I'm not crying over this, not any more, she vowed. Enough time had been wasted as she'd sat in the Gryffindor dorm, sobbing uselessly. "I -- I'm not seeing Potter," she added, making amends. "Not really."
Severus' grim smile widened and became more sincere. "I know that. I saw you, running all over the castle to try and shake him off."
"He is awfully annoying," Lily consented. "I think I'll break off the plans we had."
"You were really going to go?" Severus asked, flabbergasted. "You were going to go to Flourish and Blott's -- a book shop -- with that toe rag Potter?" He blinked, trying to process the overload of nonsensical information. "Remind me not to get on your bad side ever again, Lily," he said, shaking his head. "Your idea of revenge is scary."
Laughing weakly, Lily nodded. "I know. I frighten myself. I couldn't believe I told him yes. You should have seen the look on his face though, complete shock."
"I'd rather see the expression he wears when you tell him you've decided to go with me instead." Flinching suddenly, Severus wondered if he had gone too far. "I mean -- you know -- if you want to. We always buy our books together, don't we? Of course you just can't go with Potter." He frowned. "Can he even read?"
Lily snickered, covering her mouth. "Sev -- that's cruel."
Severus shivered, feeling reassured by her pronouncement of the abbreviation. No one else used the name, only her, and he loved the sound of it. "Will you?"
"Meet you in Flourish and Blott's? Of course." Lily paused, hesitating. "As -- as friends, of course."
"Naturally." Severus nodded, deciding not to push his luck. She implied she was interested, he thought, containing himself. She did! Maybe -- still is?
"But you've got to stop," she added hastily, sounding stern. "Those friends of yours, Sev, they scare me! Mulciber, Avery, Malfoy --"
"I know," he interrupted. "I will."
"No more Dark Arts! There's a reason it's banned! You -- you scare me with it -- I don't want it! You have to promise me you'll give it up, or I don't think I can ever trust you again."
Severus nodded rapidly, his eyes wide. He had not actually expected his apologies would work; Lily's temper was renown. Elation filled him slowly, and he stared, glassy-eyed, shocked. "Of course, you're right. I promise."
"Well then," Lily said, placated. There seemed nothing more to lecture him about. The virulent anger had ceased to flow through her veins, and she felt herself relax as she looked into Severus' eyes. She drew a deep breath, beginning to realise that she was growing light-headed. Her face felt hot, but she ignored the heat. Casually, she leaned across the table, brushing her lips against Severus', unaware that Rosmerta the barmaid was resting against the counter at the front of the pub, smiling in satisfaction to herself.
