A/N: Ok, I'm not trying to insult anyone here, but the YutakaXMinami, HiyoriXPatti, MiyukiXTsukasa, AyanoXMisao, and KonataXKagami (and the occasional MisaoXHiiragi) are getting to be way too much for me. So here's a collection of yuri-fics gone wrong. Don't like, don't read, don't review.

So, here goes my absurd "yuri" fanfics!

KonataXKagami

Konata Izumi's bottom smacked the ground.

"For the last time, I'm not lesbian!" Kagami shouted. Konata frowned and shouted back, "But, Kagamin! This is a Lucky Star FanFiction!"
"What does that have to do with anything?!" Kagami growled, her eyes narrowing. Konata replied simply, "Everyone knows that Lucky Star FanFictions have to be some author pairing up two girls from the main segment. One word, Kagamin; yuri!" Her answer was replied with a loud door slam.
"Sigh… oh well! Time to go hit on other chicks for some other FanFics. But there's no one really left in the show… What about Kuroi? Nah, I heard someone's planning a lemony shojo-ai with her and Yui…" Konata rambled on as she strolled down the street.

MisaoXAyano

"Ayano-chaaan!" Misao shouted, running up to Ayano with open arms. "Ayano-chan, hurry! Let's make love, even though frankly you scare the hell out of me!" she cooed, wrapping her arms around her orange-haired best friend. Ayano shook her head as tears slid down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Misa-chan, but it cannot be helped. In the OVA, you clearly showed strong feelings for Hiiragi-san." She said, trying to resist the hug. Misao's grip tightened.
"But Ayano, in the OVA during Hiiragi-san's dream, I was playing the part of a king! So obviously that means that it's alright!" (A/N: Actually, it doesn't…)
"B-but…" Ayano finally had to give in to the brown haired beast. "Well, you're right. And anyway, it IS a Lucky Star FanFiction!" She said. Then she stopped. Her orange hair curled up and she screamed, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SCARE THE HELL OUT OF YOU?!" her eyes flamed.
"Eep!" Misao cried, running away.

HiyoriXPatti

"Hey Patti, no offense, but how did I get stuck with you?" Hiyori asked her blonde-haired friend. She loved Patti as a friend of course, but as a romantic interest? The two were walking downtown to the manga store, and as they noticed people staring at them, expecting them to hold hands at any given moment, they stood about 2 feet away from each other. Patti looked thoughtful for a moment, then replied, "I think it's probably because of all the Lucky Star FanFictions. People need characters to pair up, and we were the only ones left." Hiyori thought this was a dumb idea.
"Well, no offense, but I'd rather be paired up with Konata's dad if he were the only character left." Hiyori sighed. Patti nodded before saying, "And I would rathere be paired up with that stinky Sebastian, no offense." They looked at each other.
"So now what do we do?" Hiyori asked sullenly. Patti looked at her watch. "Well, I got a FanFic to do at ten. What about you?" Hiyori checked her schedule, and said grumpily, "I… do… too." The two glared at the ground.
"No offense, but I hate kissing you." Patti finally glanced at her before saying, "The things we do for Lucky Star FanFictions." She grumbled.

YutakaXMinami

Yutaka sat in front of the computer screen with Minami standing behind her. They were looking up Lucky Star pictures on deviantART.
"Hey Minami-san! Look at this one! It's of you and me!" Yutaka said happily. Minami lowered her gaze to the screen.
"Oh, it is." She said, raising her eyebrows. Yutaka clicked on it. In large letters under it that said 'BFFS' and in smaller leaders 'an easy target for fanfic writers.'
"W-what's that supposed to mean?!" Yutaka gasped, becoming frantic.
"I don't know." Minami said plainly. There was a long pause. Finally, Minami said, "Hey Yutaka, will you squeeze my boobs? Maybe they'll get bigger."
"Sure thing, Minami-san! Although it's not like I actually have a choice, I mean it's a Lucky Star FanFiction, right?" Yutaka replied, and reached out her hand.

TsukasaXMiyuki

"Tsuakasa-chan." Miyuki moaned.
"Yes, Yuki-chan?" Tsukasa asked, sweating a little. They were both breathing hard.
"Tsukasa-chan, move it to the left some more." Miyuki said, concentrating. They paused. Tsukasa pressed the button on the lever and the metal crane went down. When it came back up, it held a small Gake no ue no Ponyo (or just Ponyo) phone charm in its iron wrath.
"Hooray, Hiiragi-san! You did it!" Miyuki said, giving a small clap. Tsukasa gave out a huge sigh and held her prize in her hands."I-I can't believe I actually won! This is usually impossible for me!" Tsukasa squealed. Miyuki replied, "Well, this is a Lucky Star FanFiction, so don't get your hopes up that it will happen next time." Tsuakasa's bow drooped. "I know…" She said, sadly.

The End! If you didn't like it, too bad!