AN Reviews are always welcome, hope you enjoy and let me know if you want more on this story :-) xx
Reassurance
Beep… Beep
Jack listened as the heart monitor continued to sound throughout the room. The only sound it seemed, other than her quite breathing as he silently waited for her to awaken. She had be sleeping for several hours now, with no more nightmares, but despite Janet's insistence, he stayed by her bed. "Just incase" he'd said, Janet had continued to scrutinise his profile before coming to the decidedly weak conclusion that no amount of ordering or arguing were likely to move him, so why bother when she'd already tried. They were in one of the private rooms anyway so he wouldn't be in the way of other patients. The other nurses continued to check her monitor every half an hour; apparently they hadn't experienced his stubbornness yet. They continued to remind him that she wouldn't be waking up "the drugs…" they said "would keep her sleeping for hours to come" he just nodded, not taking his eyes off the warm crisp covers of her bed as they continued to rise and fall with her breathing. Stubborn didn't begin to describe his current state.
She had woken twice in the first few hours since they're return from P2X 549 She'd disappeared from the camp; she'd had third watch and never woken Daniel for the fourth. Each remaining members of the team had woken up near the same time and immediately noticed not only the loss of their major but the clear signs of a struggle around the camp fire. Teal'c had interpreted the soft foot prints to show that she been taken by surprise from behind before being dragged away into the far trees, Jack had not been a happy camper to say the least and it was clear that his friends noticed his headless chicken/caveman act as Daniel's infamous 'sympathetic-with-a-hint-of-concern-and-personal-safety' look was numerously aimed in his general direction. Teal'c's face, to the average observer would have been falsely interpreted as emotionless and stoic, to his two close friends his expression showed a deep concern and determination that they would not be leaving without locating their missing teammate.
Their reassurances did little to calm Jack's anger as he set off into the trees with no more than his P-90, sidearm and vest, leaving behind his camping gear and Daniels voice calling after him as he continued to follow the trail. Luckily for him the barbarian that had taken Carter wasn't to smart… or an intelligent being in any respect. He'd pulled her body down the main path through the trees for about two miles before the path ended by the edge of a lake. In the distance around the other side of the lake he could see the man bent over Carter's body, watching her as she shook and groaned in her sleep.
Jack had managed to make his way around the lakes perimeter, through the trees unnoticed until finally he reached their position and saw his assailant fast moves as he reached for his knife and held it by Carter's throat in warning. He didn't know how the man had known he was their but he had and from the man's appearance he could very well have smelled his approach from his animal like stance, reminding him of the touched from one of their first missions together.
His position wasn't the only thing that reminded him of the touched as his careless hold of the knife combined with Carter's moving as she slept allowed the knife to slowly break the skin of her throat and cause a significant increase in Jack's blood pressure.
The man was shouting and screaming at him in mindless rage as he loosely motioned with his hands that he wanted Jack to back off and leave. Jack continued to stare him down, keeping his gun raised and aimed right between the animals blood shot eyes. After a few minutes of summing up the situation Jack realised that the man wouldn't be giving up his prize without one hell of a fight and that if he aimed right he wouldn't need to.
After another minute he fired his gun and hoped to god he hit on target. Suddenly the shouting had stopped and so had Sam's groaning. His heart had stopped with the realization of what he may have done. After a few seconds he'd dropped to his knees and let out a deep breath as he watched her chest rise and fall with the slow deep breaths acquainted in sleep. She continued to live despite all odds. Daniel and Teal'c found him about a mile back to camp with an unconscious Carter in his arms walking towards them. He'd left the 'animals' body were it was. Daniels face had dropped when he saw her limp form and both men had stopped in their tracks assuming the worst.
"Is she… did it, I mean… is she?" his shoulders dropped in defeat as he struggled to say the words.
Jack's face remained blank as he answered him "She'll live Daniel but we need to get her back to the SGC now"
Teal'c who had remained quite through out the exchange offered to carry Carter to the gate. He paused and looked down at her body before he carried on walking "no it's ok, I'll carry her T. You grab my pack?"
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Once they'd got back through the gate Sam had been taken from Jack's arms and placed on a gurney. He explained what he knew on the situation before following her to the infirmary. While Doctor Fraiser checked her out the rest of SG1 went to the briefing room to explain what had happened to General Hammond. Just as they were drawing the briefing to a close SG1 were being summoned to the infirmary over the intercom. Hammond had dismissed jack the moment the transmission ended but asked Daniel and Teal'c to stay just a few more minutes as a Jack rushed out the door.
By the time he was rounding the corner to the doors of the infirmary screaming sobs could be heard coming from one of the private rooms along the corridor. He broke out into a run only to realise that the shouts were a panicked version of his name as he shoved his way through the door passed the guards, to see Janet stood next to Sam's bed trying everything to calm her down.
Sam didn't notice his arrival until he was stood right by her bed, after a moment her screaming stopped only to be replaced by weeping as tears continued to flow freely down her face. The crying only increased the pain her scared panic was causing in his heart as she reached out for his body and only stopped when he was sat on the edge of her bed holding her tightly in his arms, rubbing her back and rocking her slowly back and fourth trying everything he knew to stop her tears as she clung to his body and buried her face in his neck. By the time her sobbing had subsided Jack was nearing a similar desperate state, her breathing on his neck the only thing keeping him grounded. He stopped the slow rocking of her body as the sobbing stopped but continued to stoke her back in slow gentle circles as he ran the fingers of his right hand through her hair, wanting more than anything for her to know she was safe were she was.
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Janet who had been stood by the bed for the whole ordeal whispered for me to put her down now, after a moment I realised what she meant, Carter's steady breathing in my arms indicated she had cried herself to sleep. A little reluctantly I laid her back on the bed and lifted her covers back up to her shoulders to keep her warm. When I was satisfied she would stay asleep I got up from the bed to see Janet by the door motioning for me to step outside with her for a moment. Once we were outside the door she got straight to the point.
"Colonel as you can see from her reaction in there, the man that took her did a little more than bash her on the head" she sounded as annoyed as I felt. Before I could jump to conclusions she filled me in on what she meant. "Now colonel I don't mean he did anything to her, he didn't get a chance to from what I heard" she paused giving me a knowing look "but he appears to have dosed her with something. Now I don't exactly know what it is but from what I can tell it has a sort of adrenalin effect, I'm just speculating here but I think it probably has something to do with keeping the victim irrational and scared so they can't put up much of a fight, but like I said I'm only guessing."
I nodded not sure I could trust my voice yet. After a few more minutes of the Doc's story of events I returned to Carters bedside. Sitting down in the seat placed by the bed I shut my eyes and breathed deeply trying to put the last few hours since I woke up back into order.
I must have fallen asleep like that because not long after I was woken by the thrashing form of Carter as she slowly woke from another nightmare kicking her legs under the covers and whimpering in her sleep as a few tears escaped from her tightly shut lids, even unconscious she was trying to be strong and hold off her emotions. I got up from my seat by the end of the bed and walked over to her side, hoping to calm her quickly before she hurt herself. I sat down on the edge of the bed as she started whimpering again. "Jack!" she continued to kick despite the arm I had placed over her legs and the hand on her forehead brushing back her hair of her face was having little effect.
"Carter… come on your safe you just need to wake up ok?" I continued to stroke her forehead as her thrashing continued and increased as her shouting got louder "Jack!" she sounded so scared it broke my heart every time she said my name. Eventually the kicking got to be so much she woke herself up from her own nightmare and opened her eyes to let out a flood of tears. At first she continued to panic, as her eyes focused though and she saw me sat by her side, she jumped up and wrapped her arms around my neck and waist clinging to the side of my T-shirt in desperation and buried her face in my neck again hiding her self in my hold.
I couldn't do anything except hold her just as tightly, holding her to me with my hands pressed on her lower back and on the back of her head slowly stroking her hair as I did before. After a few minutes she stopped crying and I thought for a moment that she might have fallen asleep again but as she moved her face out of my neck to see me, I saw her eyes watching me with tears still covering her face. As she watched me I lifted my hand, wiping away some of her tears with my thumb as I held her face.
She opened her mouth for a second about to say something but closed it again to steady her voice before opening it again "You're alive?" I could tell from the look on her face and sound of her voice that she was feeling unsure but at the same time knew I couldn't verbally answer her question to reassure her.
Her hand moved down from around my neck to feel my face, proving to her self that I was real, after a few seconds of stroking my cheek her eyes started to close as she moved her face back to my neck, wrapping her arms back around me not ready to let go. After she fell asleep again and I had just tucked her back into her bed, Janet came in and I filled her in on everything. She just nodded and informed me she would increase Carter's dose to allow her to sleep more peacefully. After she had done that she turned to me and informed me that I should go and rest as well and she would wake me and let me know if there was any change.
"No it's ok Doc I'll stay, the chair is more than enough for my comfort, I'll stay, you can go" She shook her head at me exasperated and at the same time realised there was still no point arguing with me. I wouldn't be moving unless ordered by "The Man" himself. That's were she found me hours later, asleep in the chair asking me if there was any change as I woke up. I told her there wasn't and she left again after checking Carter's monitors.
I only left her room twice that day to pee and grab a cup of coffee from the commissary before returning to Carter's room. I hadn't eaten since the night before when she had been taken. Honestly I wasn't hungry enough to eat, and the food really didn't appeal. Several hours later after many more visits from Fraiser and one or two from Teal'c, Daniel and even General Hammond when he got the chance, I was woken once again. Only this time my head was leaning on the side of the bed by her thigh and I was woken by a soft hand stroking through my hair and not a thrashing body beside me. I opened my eyes to see a side ways view of Carter with her eyes open watching me, but didn't lift my head just yet feeling far too comfortable with my position and the hand that continued to stroke through my hair as she softly smiled down at me.
After a few more minutes of comfortable silence I got up from the bed. She kept her hand on my head for as long as she could sliding it to my cheek before moving it to the back of my head as she immediately moved into my arms as I sat down on the edge of her bed once again. This time she didn't hide her face in my neck but instead gently rested her forehead there, stroking the hair at the back of my neck. "Thank you…" she whispered "for staying with me, I mean… you didn't have to stay all night"
I lifted my hand to her head to run my fingers through her hair. It was a relief to hear her voice so relaxed and her body still clinging to me but not in desperation or panic "how do you know I did?" I asked with a smile, relishing in the sound of her voice again.
She chuckled at my antics and I felt her back shake with the movement making me grin even more. "Janet filled me in on what happened some of it is still a little hazy but I remember most of it" she quieted after that, her grip tightening just a little, remembering why she was in my arms in the first place. "Thank you, for finding me" she took a deep breath to calm her voice "Janet said the man who attacked me gave me something that increased the adrenalin levels in my body that gave me these nightmares but she doesn't know what it was" she took another breath and continued to stroke my neck "she said it was out of my system so I shouldn't have anymore." I moved my face to her neck inhaling her scent as I remembered the cut the ragged knife had made as the man had tried to take her as his prize and fend me off. Just the thought of it made me want to kill him again.
"It's ok" I whispered not moving my face away from her neck, receiving an answering shiver from her as she felt my breath catch on her skin, I tightened my arms around her "I wouldn't have let him take you Sam, not a chance in hell" I whispered again lifting my mouth to place a kiss just behind and under her ear. She shivered again and placed her face in the crook of my neck again "I know" she whispered back before moving her lips to place a soft kiss on my neck in return to make sure I knew that she wasn't just saying it.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence she spoke again "Janet said that I could leave as soon as I was awake enough, as long as I rested when I got home and didn't get behind the wheel of a car any time soon, just encase the drug isn't completely out of my system. So I should be able to get out of here" I nodded my head getting ready to; but not moving away just yet "I could give you a lift home if you want, saves you asking an SF" I hoped she agreed to my suggestion, I wasn't going to outright admit it but over the years I'd found that after watching over her for more than a day none stop, without breaks you couldn't just go cold turkey or I'd wonder for hours on end if she was alright. She was like a drug, and if I was completely honest I'd been addicted from the get go. She paused for another minute before nodding into my neck "yeah that would be easier, if it's no trouble?"
"Its fine" I whispered "no trouble", finally pulling away from our warm embrace I watched her as she sat on the bed seeming so small. Resisting the urge to pull her back into my arms, I sat up straighter "when do you think you'll be ready to go?" I asked wanting to get her out of the bed she had been in for the last two days as soon as possible, the bed where she had cried and thrashed and kicked in fear. The memory of her petrified voice sent a shiver down my spine.
The shiver didn't go un-noticed by Carter as she frowned but didn't comment on it and instead answered my question "well as soon as I can get changed out of this gown I'm out of here, I feel fine, just a little sleepy" she smiled at me then and I had no option but to smile back, as her eyes got a little lighter and some of the colour in her cheeks returned at the prospect of finally going home. I smiled again as I got up from the bed "ok then I'll go find the doc and get you some clothes to wear, and then we're out of here!" she smiled again even as I moved further away. "I'll be back in a few minutes don't go anywhere" I joked and she giggled as she nodded her head. "Don't worry there's no chance of that happening"
After I'd got her a pair of her BDU's from her locker and she'd changed into them the Doc gave her one last check over before she was released and we were on our way to the surface. The ride in the elevator was quiet as neither of us had anything to say but not uncomfortable in any way. By the time we reached the surface and signed out Carter's smile was taking up most of her face and as we reached the door to outside her pace sped up just a little and stopped as we reached outside. She took a deep breath that lifted her chest to her face and turned to me still smiling.
"Are you always like this when you get out of the infirmary?" I grinned at her as I asked.
She smiled even more "not all the time but when I spend most of my days sleeping in bed none stop it just makes me want to breathe fresh air again" we continued walking over to my car and after a brief pause where we waited for the SF's to open the gate, we were off again towards her house. The car journey was relatively silent except for a few comments on how sunny it seemed outside, neither of us felt the need to fill the silence with small talk.
By the time we reached her house the sun was getting a little low in the sky and Carter had fallen asleep against the side of her door after watching the view outside for most of the journey.
I climbed out of my side of the car and after taking her bags out of the car and placing them by the door, I opened it with the spare key she had given each of SG1 for exactly this kind of use. Once her bags were inside I returned to the car and being careful not to drop her out the car as I opened the door I lifted her sleeping form into my arms and carried her inside to her couch. As I put her down I realised one of her hands had a tight grip on my T-shirt and wasn't letting go. "Carter let go I gotta close the door" I tried to release her grip but it only got tighter, "Carter the doors open… don't blame me if your house gets cold, not to mention robbed" she whimpered as I tried to pull away again. I was about to berate her again when I noticed the crease in her forehead and the scared look on her face, her legs gave a little kick as I moved to sit on the side of the sofa "Carter come on wake up!" I ordered hoping the air force officer in her would wake herself up. No luck, she whimpered again and started to panic even more. When she really started to kick I had no choice but to hold down her legs before she knocked us both unconscious "Carter come on please wake up" I pleaded with her to wake up and stop kicking as I stroked the hair off her forehead and behind her ears "Jack! No! don't!" she started to shout louder and for a minute I wondered if any of her Neighbours would come in to investigate and make sure no-one was being robbed or attacked.
Her kicking was slowing down a little as if she had given up on fighting but she continued to cry and sob as she shouted in her sleep "Jack!" she shouted again as her eyes shot open, it took her a second to realise where she was but the second she did she jumped into my arms clinging to my neck, shaking as she sobbed in my arms. I held her for a second before lifting her onto my lap and completely wrapping her in my arms again as she started to whimper at the loss of contact. I tried to comfort her as much as possible but still felt useless as she continued to cry and cling to my T-shirt. "Sam what is it? Tell me… please. What is it?" she continued to cry "please Sam just let me help you" he clung to her as she cried into his shoulder, rubbing his hand up and down her back to calm her a little more "just tell me"
She still clung to his T-shirt and her head stayed in the crook on his neck as she continued to straddle his lap, but her crying slowed until she was only sniffling and breathing deeply onto his skin. "It's always the same" she whispered in a broken voice "Every time they take me away from you. Sometimes it takes longer but you always find me eventually" she paused to swallow the lump in her throat "but every time you do…"
She paused unable to continue as she ducked her head back into his shoulder taking deep breaths to stop her self crying again. "You were shouting" I prompted, wanting her to finish telling me "you were shouting "Jack No Don't!" but you didn't say what"
She took another deep breath "They found us every time and held you down. They gave you a choice… you or me. That was what they said. You had to choose because they were gonna take one of us, and every time… every time you chose you" she sobbed as she said it as if reliving her nightmare or re-dreaming it. "they held me down while they dragged you away, and you would always watch me shouting before you disappeared behind the trees and I'd hear you shout for me to run… but then I'd hear a gun shot and then you'd be gone and I couldn't hear anything. I kept d=shouting your name but you never responded" I wanted to tell her something to make her feel better…
"Sam I can't tell you that it wouldn't happen, because if the Goa'uld gave me a choice like that… I would choose me" I whispered and she tightened her grip around my body shaking her head in my neck "I would every time Sam… no matter what" she continued to shake her head with more tears appearing in her eyes. Eventually after about an hour of her crying in my arms, fidgeting and shaking her head as if fighting me and clinging to me at once, she fell asleep, exhausted from crying so much. I couldn't let her go, not yet. But at the same time I knew we couldn't stay like this. So I stood, placing her unconscious body on the couch and quickly ran to close her front door and back hoping she hadn't woke in my absence. Seeing her still sleeping I leaned down lifting her into my arms as she slept and carried her down the hall to the door I hoped was her bedroom. I guessed right and carried her over to the bed carefully lifting the covers before lying her down. As I moved to stand up I found that she was once again clinging to my T-shirt with her fist unwilling to let go of me. After considering my options I decided that sharing a bed with carter was much more appealing than me causing her more nightmares and having to sleep in the hard leather chair by her window.
I pushed on her shoulder, carefully rolling her over just to get her on her side to make space for me to lie down behind her. The bed was a lot comfier than it looked and believe me with Carter lying in it; it already looked comfy to begin with. The warmth of the bed combined with a warm, soft Carter in my arms means I was asleep in moments. When I woke up in the morning I was on my back, my body was turned towards Carter's with my opposite knee from her raised up and leaning against the leg she had placed tightly between mine as she possessively wrapped her arms around my waist still clinging to my T-shirt. I couldn't get any comfier in heaven. Forget sleeping on a cloud, when I died I wanted one Samantha Carter wrapped firmly around my body sleeping on top of me.
I wondered for a few minutes what she would do when she woke up to find her CO in her bed, but figured she would understand once I explained that her unwillingness to let go of me didn't really give me an option, so I stopped worrying and enjoyed the cuddling while I could. It didn't take long for her to wake up as well, thankfully- considering the position of her leg- it wasn't kicking and screaming. So my crotch was safe. As she slowly woke up, she tightened her grip around my waist and rubbed her cold nose on my neck as she snuggled further into my arms. Once she was fully awake and realised where she was she stiffened for a moment before relaxing again and sighing into my neck. "Morning Carter" I whispered rubbing her back.
"Morning" she whispered back, sounding a little unsure of her self but quite pleased at the same time. She lifted her head up and rested her chin on my chest as she looked up at me "How did we get here?" she asked, sounding quite mischievous.
I smiled down at her lifting my hand to the back of her head to run my fingers through her bed hair. I had always loved her hair and from the way she stroked mine at the back of my head she shared quite a fondness for mine as well. "You fell asleep on me again on the sofa, so I came and brought you in here. I was planning on pulling up a chair like I did in the infirmary but you didn't seem to like that plan." Her cheeks turned a little pink with my last comment as her forehead wrinkled in confusion. "What do you mean? What did I do? I don't remember doing anything"
I chuckled at her onslaught of questions as her plain refusal to believe that she could have been so needy. "You wouldn't let go of my T-shirt, like before on the sofa and I didn't fancy a repeat of the kicking fest so I let you have your way" I teased her shamelessly and her cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red. She smiled despite her embarrassment and slapped me on my chest for good measure as she pouted a little, which only made me laugh more. Never before had I seen my major pout and I found it to be the most humorous and adorable thing she had ever done besides the snuggling she did in her sleep. "Stop laughing at me" she scolded in a mock serious voice before hiding her smiling face in my neck. "Oh don't even pretend to be annoyed Carter, I know your smiling" I told her as I stopped laughing and smiled down at her, getting her comfy in my arms again.
I continued to run my fingers through her hair as she lifted her head to rest it on my chest again looking me straight in the eye. "Thank you" she whispered "for staying again, I thought the nightmares would have gone by now but I guess not" she smiled sadly and flexed her fingers that where currently holding on to my T-shirt. I smiled back, sharing her disappointment that the nightmares hadn't stopped and softly brushed her hair of her forehead before stroking her cheek with my thumb as I'd done before when she was crying. "They should go away soon" I smiled trying to reassure her "and look on the bright side, you didn't wake up last night did you? They might have already gone"
She nodded and gave me a smile but I could see it didn't reach her eyes. "You can't just give up your life so easily like it doesn't mean anything. Not even if it means saving someone else you can't just give up so readily" she scolded, her voice shaking a little with her words. "It wouldn't" I whispered "if I lost you and the SGC my life wouldn't mean anything anyway Carter"
She swallowed and closed her eyes with my words "you can't just give up" she said, her voice getting louder, replacing her grief with anger. "you can't just make a choice like that without hesitation, not when it would effect so many people so much" her voice shook as she said her last statement. She dipped her head for a second before lifting it to look me in the eye again "you can't" she whispered again tears forming in her eyes.
"I can Carter. If it meant that you would survive, I could make a choice like that. Without a seconds hesitation" I paused for a moment to swallow the lump in my throat that had formed with the sight of her tears "Remember the Zatar'c thing, what I said… that I would rather die myself than lose you. Nothing's change Carter, nothing" she shook her head against my chest as if her utter denial of the situation would change my mind.
"Please don't" she whispered against my chest "Please… I couldn't live through that, I wouldn't…"she paused for a moment and closed her eyes. For a moment I thought she had given up until she opened her eyes again with a new look of determination "I can't live without you there Jack, I can't… not without you in my life. I know we can never have anything more than what we have but… if you took that away I don't know if I could live like that".
He returned her defeated look "Neither could I Carter" he paused for a moment, trying to find the right words to explain without causing more confusion. "If it was the other way around and the bad guys gave you the choice… If you chose for me to live then you'd be wasting your time because if you were dead…" he paused once again looking her straight in the eye "If you were dead, I'd be dead too" he winced as he saw the look on her face.
She looked even more defeated than before "then were both pretty much screwed hu?" a small ironic smile appeared on her face and he couldn't keep himself from responding in kind. Slowly their smiles disappeared "If you died then I'd be dead and if I died then you'd be dead?" she closed her eyes as she rested her chin on his chest before opening her eyes again and connecting with his "I hope we never get asked to choose" she whispered in a desperate wish. He tightened his arms around her and brushed away a few pieces of her blonde hair away from her eyes. There was no easy solution to their problem, what could they do except hope. Their conversation had not only made them realise their dilemma but opened their eyes to just how much they depended on the other to keep surviving and keep beating the odds. "We're really never going to get our chance are we?" she whispered.
She didn't expect an answer. What could he tell her that she hadn't already thought of, they had both considered ways that they could some how really be together without them having to leave the SGC or the Air-force, but it didn't seem there was one. They had made a silent agreement to wait until there was a solution but neither new what or how long they would be waiting for. "I don't know Carter… did Janet mention to you about my knee operation?" a frown appeared on her face, Janet hadn't mentioned anything about the colonel having any surgeries. She couldn't exactly blame her small friend for not mentioning it in all the commotion of her injuries, but surely something like this had been planned for a while. Jack certainly hadn't been away from her bedside long enough to organise anything as important as a surgery on his bad knee. As Jack saw her shake her head he continued explaining. "My knee has been getting worse over the past few months and running for the gate as we often end up doing is resulting in more and more aches and pains when we get back home." He paused as deeper worry lines began to form on her forehead "Janet says that its only going to get worse to the point where the pain is happening when we're running for the gate, which I'm sure you can imagine doesn't bode well when speed is of the element… If this surgery doesn't work as well as Janet is hoping then I'm going to be asking General Hammond for a different position within the SGC" He paused as he saw she was about to kill him with the daggers she was shooting in his direction.
She lifted her chin off of his chest and looked him in the eye "how long have you known about your knee being this bad?" when she saw the guilty look on his face she smacked his chest with her small fist "why the hell didn't you say anything? Especially when I had been taken, Daniel said that you ran after me and that you carried me back to the gate. Why did you do that you've probably made your knee worse? Not to ention carrying me around now"
The pleading look on his face of a guilty child begging to keep his pocket money was momentarily replaced with a look of confusion "When have you spoken to Daniel?"
Her berating stare softened for a moment "When you were asleep with your head resting on the side of my bed. You were dead to the world, spoke to Teal'c too." The frown returned once she'd answered and realised she'd been tricked "don't try and avoid the subject mister!" she ordered with a hard poke to the chest for good measure.
He only managed to stop himself smiling at her behaviour when he saw the genuine worry in her eyes. "Janet told me a few weeks ago that I was going to need surgery pretty soon" he admitted "but she also told me that just resting it wasn't going to do any good; as soon as I returned to work the problem would still be there. So I knew that carrying you, wasn't going to do any harm when I'm having the surgery either way. And come on even if I could never walk again if I ran after you, there was no way in hell I was leaving you in the arms of a deranged caveman for any period of time"
She returned her head to his chest cuddling her face into his neck "when are you having the surgery?" she sounded defeated. She didn't want to loose him off the team but just the thought of them running for the gate and being shot at… what if he ever got hit? She tightened her arms around his chest at the thought and snuggled down closer to him. She'd rather loose him off the team and still see him when she could than risk the chance of loosing him in her life all together.
He tightened his arms around her body in return and ran his fingers through her soft wisps of blond hair "I'm having the surgery in a week. SG1 is on downtime for the next two weeks anyway because of your injury and all the missions we've been on recently, so Janet is hoping to have it done and over with by the end of our break…I'm not worried about how it turns out" he whispered in reassurance "I've been on the front lines for nearly thirty years, if it doesn't work I'll still get to work with you guys all the time. Hammond will probably give me a job training new recruits or something if he can. I won't be on SG1 with you guys which will suck because I won't get to watch your six but I'll be there when you guys get back and I'll still be around to help if I'm needed for anything urgent" He tried to sound as positive as he possibly could. She needed to see the benefits of what was happening, if her dreams were any indication then loosing him was a big fat no-no.
She raised her head from where she had been resting it, listening to his explanation. Her face was much closer to his now as they had snuggled closer to each other, lifting herself up onto her elbow at his side she leaned forward and placed a feather light kiss on his lips. She looked into his eyes telling him all he needed to know. She understood what he was telling her and she realised the personal benefits of his transfer to another position, but she was still hoping that despite everything he could stay on the team with her, Daniel and Teal'c. They were unconventional in every way but somehow they 'worked' and they were a close knit family in almost every respect. She snuggled down back into his side with a sigh, wrapping her arms firmly around him again and he responded in kind. Later they would pretend the kiss never happened and wait to see what happened during the surgery as level-headed professionals but right now they needed a few more minutes of cuddling before they returned to reality.
AN Hope you liked it, all reviews and critisisms are welcome :-)
