A/N: This has been an idea I have been trying to put on paper for a while, so when the moment struck this morning out this popped. Its an experiences piece and drawn from some personal feelings and experiences that I could relate to the characters. I hope you enjoy this and for the moment it is only a one shot, but if inspiration strikes again I will try to get it on paper for you all to enjoy as well.

I really hope you like it :) x

Standing at her bedroom door I observe her quietly. She is sat a top her bed, laptop open in front of her as she types away in small bursts upon the keyboard and with papers in a small pile just to one side. She is a busy lady, busy schedule, people to meet with, things to do and places to be.

Then there is me; her friend just about and nothing more. I am only here at her bedroom door because I came to visit her under these pretenses. I fold my arms and lean comfortably against the frame as I watch her working away. She is poised in her stature as she flicks her eyes from paper to screen and back again. I feel a smile tugging at my lips and that is when she looks up almost instinctively and manages half a smile in return.

"Hey" I greet her softly.

"What?" she questions softly.

I don't answer that. Simply I push away from the door frame and step foot into the room. With soft footing I pad over to the bed and perch gently on the edge, assessing the situation before I move in any closer. I am unsure how she will react but I have something to tell her, something I really want her to know and I feel now is as good a time as any to express these feelings I have.

A simple question has been circling my mind for some time now.

'How do I tell her I love her?'

How she feels about me I am unsure, but how I feel about her I am certain. It is love. The feelings just developed. Nothing I could do would have stopped them. Suppression and denial of them only worsened the issue and set the feelings bubbling beneath my skin only harder. They have grown and now been nurtured into something more than they ever were at the start.

I admit I am nervous. Who wouldn't be and hasn't been in such a position.

Declaring ones feelings can make or break a special relationship; especially if they are not mutual, one sided or not reciprocated. So now she is staring at me with expectance. With a deep breath I try to muster up the courage to move in closer but it bails on me and I hesitate so she looks away. Focus returned back to the work in front of her but I know she is suspicious.

I kick myself metaphorically at the little slip up. Where has my confidence gone? Why has it abandoned me now? Is it nerves?

I ponder those few questions whilst sat in the silence of her bedroom, that is of course until she starts typing again and without even a break in her stride, as her fingers move effortlessly from key to key she mumbles.

"So are you just going to sit there?"

I detect a sense of uncertainty in her tone towards me and maybe she too is nervous not knowing what is going on. Suddenly the whole moment seems to become awkward, but I can't tell if that is just for me or not. I take a deep breath and mumble back that I am not just going to sit there but I fail to move. I hear her exhale a little frustrated I guess by my behaviour that she doesn't understand and then hear her shuffle some papers and become lost in reading the one she has just picked up.

That is my opportunity to move in closer. After a deep breath and a quick wipe of my lightly sweating palms against the denim covering my thighs, I push up onto the bed properly and position myself so that I am sat behind her. Close behind her. One leg hangs off of the bed still, dangling pointlessly over the side and the other now rests upon the bed curled up under her own slightly raised knee where she is sat crossed legged.

I know she can feel me breathing against her neck now and see her instantly straighten her back. I don't need to have touched her yet to know she has tensed up, but I do. My arms slip through her arms and around her waist, hands clasping individually to her tummy by pressing against the material of her top as I hold her and close to me.

She flinched as my hands made contact with the material covering her torso, so my nerves now are heightened. My heart is racing in my chest, pounding away as we sit in this awkward embrace. Suddenly I can't seem to think straight but I try to calm my nerves. I wish I knew what she was thinking. it would certainly help, but like me I suppose she keeps her feelings to herself for fear of being rejected. My heart starts to hammer against my chest when I start to think again. I am glad we have got this far but what now?

I need to know her thoughts before proceeding. Fear has the better of me and rejection hovers like a nasty reminder over my head of why I shouldn't be doing this.

"Say something. Please just say something" I plead silently in my head.

Anything will do, just something.

The silence remains and she seems to be staring pointlessly ahead of herself. I can't see her facial expression so cannot read it. She has said nothing so I cannot act further. Delicately I hold her; just waiting.

My breath continues to beat against her neck and the silence still lingers. It has been only minutes since I moved in so intrusively but it feels like an eternity. I tighten my grip unconsciously and press my chest gently into her back. Her body instantly tenses further.

Have I made a mistake?

Begging again in my head for her to say something I move closer in at the side of her neck, angling my head just so I can see bare flesh. My lips hover there as I wonder about my next move and try to make a decision without being to indecisive in my act. Confusion of feelings right now is not what we need. It is actually the reason we have ended up in this situation and the only reason I am now stuck in this position.

Oh god why can't I just tell her?

I'm just making everything worse. I would rather a friend than nothing at all. I hesitate, my lips moving back as I retreat from her neck. I can't do it. I can't admit my feelings. I don't want to ruin what we have. I don't want to be rejected by another, again.

Is it too late, have I ruined it already? I have come close in the past but she is still here which means I didn't succeed, thankfully.

Panic sets in and I quickly release her body and sit back. I am shaking with fright as to how she is going to react now and curse my cowardice.

Why do I screw up everything.

No don't answer that; no one answer that horrid question. I really don't need it confirmed, I already know why. I am a mess, that is why, a complete and utter disaster with a jumble in my head and no clear path. It is not paranoia, don't call it that; it's fact. My heart knows what it wants, it always has but my mind is so filled with negativity that it slashes the dreams held by my heart and tells me continuously that I am not good enough, not normal enough, not capable of having the happiness I crave.

At that thought I retreat further, quickly moving away from her body so we are no longer touching and I am pushed back against the pillows on the bed. I pull my curled leg out from under hers and that is when she turns and glances over her shoulder at me.

"What was that?" she questions.

Still can't read her. Wow this is horrible. My mouth is dry and now I seem to have lost my tongue. When I fail to provide and answer she looks away and back to her papers.

Oh shit!

I scramble away and off of the bed, clumsily tripping over my own feet and almost sending myself face first onto the floor as I hurry to the door.

'Run!' My head screams at me and I am inclined to agree. Yes Run!.

"Wait!" she states firmly.

I stop, unable to disobey such a command.

"What was that?" she asks when I still.

With my back to her as I was mid-flee I don't want to turn and face her but I feel compelled to. A quick turn on my heels and our eyes meet. Great! Still can't read her, she has no mood defining expression on her face.

I swallow hard.

"Well?" she follows up her question from a few seconds ago.

Then she quirks an eyebrow at my continued silence.

"Explain!" she snaps out.

The pressure is on. I take a deep breath and swallow hard again before opening my mouth to speak. My eyes drop to the floor, I can't look at her whilst I do this. Hell I don't even want to tell her the truth now but she deserves to know.

There is another long pause and the clock is ticking.

Its now or never.

Ok.

Here it goes.

"I love you" I mumble in barely a whisper.

"What?" she chokes out a reply.

I look back up after another deep breath.

"I love you" I admit in a clearer and slightly louder voice.

She just stares; I just wait.

'Say something' I silently beg once more.