Disclaimer: You guessed it; I don't own Yugioh or any of the characters seen here.
Summary: Bakura and Yami have always been rivals, but sometimes Bakura just doesn't know when to quit. Can Yami finally teach him a lesson? We're about to find out...
Tenshi: Okay, I just reposted this (2-17-04) because the formatting was all screwed up. I think everything's okay now, so if you're reading this, please let me know what you think! Thanks! :)
Chapter One: Of Monsters and Mayhem
"I can't believe they call this place Embassy Suites! There is not one thing here that looks embassy-class to me!" Yami Bakura complained as he looked around the hotel room that Ryou had brought him to. The fact that he had been talked into going on this little excursion was one thing, but to be trapped in a less-than-perfect hotel room was another matter entirely.
"So? I know it's not perfect, but it'll do," Ryou replied as calmly as he could, "It's only for the weekend anyway, and it won't kill you."
"You don't know that! There could be something hiding in the closet, or under the bed that could come out at any time and brutally attack me!"
"Bakura, don't you think you're being just a bit paranoid? This isn't like one of those movies you stayed up to watch last night; this is reality. There is nothing here that is going to assault you."
As if in disagreement, Yugi walked into the room and was followed shortly after by Yami; who had been carrying their suitcases up from the cab.
"Oh really? Then how do you explain that?" the tomb robber demanded; eying the pharaoh warily.
"Bakura, please don't start that again..."
"Well, then could you please explain to me exactly why we are here?"
"I told you before," Ryou sighed, "Yugi and I entered the tag-team dueling competition that is taking place this weekend and you two are here to cheer us on."
Bakura scowled at the thought and then plopped down on the bed in protest. "Oh yes, how could I forget? I get to be Bakura; 'cheerleader-extraordinaire' for two whole days! Oh joy..."
"It's good to see you so enthusiastic." Yami teased.
"Shut up, you!" Bakura snapped; causing their two 'lights' to snicker evilly.
As optimistic as always, Ryou put his suitcase away before coming to join Bakura on the bed. "It won't be that bad, really," he assured him, "Just be there for us okay?"
"Why couldn't you just have thrown me into a pit of poisonous snakes?! At least that would've been much more tolerable than this!!"
"Don't you think you're overreacting?" Yugi wondered.
"NO!"
"Yes, why didn't you?" Yami inquired innocently.
"Yami!"
"What?"
"Could you two please try to get along?" the shorter duelist begged.
"No!!" both Yami and Bakura replied.
"Figures..." Ryou sighed.
"Well, we're going out for awhile to get some food, so don't kill each other while we're gone. Yami, I mean it; play nice. I don't want to come back to a room that is halfway destroyed by Shadow power and you nowhere to be found." Yugi said placidly, taking his suitcase from the darker spirit and putting it under the bed before heading to the door.
"Don't worry, we'll behave." Yami replied sternly with a glare in Bakura's direction.
"Somehow I doubt that..." Yugi whispered to Ryou, as the taller boy followed him out the door.
As soon as they were gone, Yami took out his deck and started organizing his cards. Bakura smirked and went over to watch as the pharaoh began shuffling through his collection of sea monsters.
"Ha ha!! That one looks like you, Yami!"
"How very mature of you, Bakura. Referring to me as a duel monster, I must say that is most impressive."
Bakura stepped back and shook his fist at the other spirit. "You think you're so clever don't you, you pompous Pharaoh? Well, why don't we test your wit in a duel?"
"Fine by me, but don't go whining to Ryou when you lose."
"I don't whine."
"Perhaps not, but you will lose." Yami chuckled as he gathered the cards back into his deck.
"We'll just see about that. I've improved since our last duel, you know."
"Have you?"
"Now, now, didn't your hikari say to play nice?"
"Yes, I believe he did."
"Well he didn't say it to me!" Bakura yelled, grabbing the deck from Yami's hands and running out of the room.
"Hey!! What the-? BAKURA! WHERE IN HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING WITH MY DECK?!?!?!?!" Yami screamed, knocking over the table as he rushed down the hall after the silver-haired thief.
Bakura looked back at him and grinned. "Where you can't get it, obviously! Catch you later, Pharaoh! Or shall I say you can try to catch me later...since you sure as hell won't be doing it anytime soon! Ha ha ha ha!"
Dodging a small group of people, Bakura entered the main elevator and waved to Yami as the doors closed.
"Damn!" Yami cursed. "That stupid, rotten, homicidal, good-for-nothing, tomb-robbing, soul-stealing, card-thieving MANIAC! I swear I'll-"
"Yami? Who are you screaming at?" Yugi asked, walking up to his darker half with an ice cream sandwich.
"Er...hello Yugi. Did you and Ryou get what you wanted?" the pharaoh asked sweetly.
"Yes Yami, but you still haven't answered my question. Who were you screaming at just now?"
"Uh...no one?"
Yugi sighed as Ryou came up to them and gave his silver-haired friend a disappointed look. He had a feeling this would happen...
Ryou acknowledged the downcast look and turned straight to Yami, who was trying not to look guilty but wasn't doing a very good job of it. "What's going on, Yami? What did you do to Bakura?"
"I didn't do anything-yet!" Yami seethed, charging off to the nearest flight of stairs before Yugi and Ryou grabbed him by the arms and proceeded to drag him back down the hallway.
"Unhand me! That imbecile you have for a yami stole my deck, Ryou! He could have done anything with it by now! I want my cards back! I can't duel without them and neither can you, Yugi! I agreed to 'play nice,' but this is serious!! I-"
"Yugi, would you kindly stick that sandwich in his mouth?"
"Sure Ryou, good idea." Yugi let go of Yami's arm and crammed the ice cream sandwich into his mouth.
"Gwah-gwph-raph-shyf-rahh-gwuf!"
Yugi and Ryou burst out laughing as soon as they pulled Yami into the room and barricaded the door.
"Did you see that lady with the poodle?! You would think she just saw a werewolf!!" Ryou cackled.
"Or a ghost for that matter!!" Yugi giggled, looking over in Yami's direction. "Well, maybe she had just cause..."
The "pharaoh" was indeed looking quite the worst for wear, due to the ice cream that was all over his face and the odd pieces of hair sticking up alongside the normal ones. The blue outfit he always wore didn't help much either; the coat was rumpled and the pants had a small tear in them near the bottom. Of course this was caused by the Olympic jump he had executed to catch Bakura, but he wasn't about to admit that.
"Yami, you look like a monster..." Yugi giggled.
"That's not funny!!" the pharaoh snapped; blushing furiously at the similar comparison that had been made earlier.
Before the two could try and calm him down, however, Yami proceeded in giving a speech on how Bakura was going to pay for his "crimes against humanity," once the almighty pharaoh could leave the hotel room.
"I'm going to wring his neck!! How dare he?! My duel deck-of all things!!"
"Well you did send him to the Shadow Realm...on more than one occasion." Ryou pointed out while trying to look as serious as possible, given Yami's current state of appearance.
"Yes, but-!"
"And you were teasing him about having to cheer us on at the competition." Yugi added.
"But I-he-arghh!"
"Don't worry Yami, we'll get it back."
"How can you be so sure?! It's Bakura, don't you understand that?!" Yami practically screeched.
"Yes, Yami."
"Perfectly."
"Relax Yami, please."
"If you can stay quiet for a few minutes, I think I can convince him to give it back." Ryou stated.
Yami glared at the two before sitting down in a chair opposite the bed. "Oh fine..." he muttered. Yami hated giving in and it was only in hopes of punishing Bakura that he agreed.
"Good. Now..." Ryou's Millennium Ring began to glow as he established a link to the thief, one that would allow Yugi and Yami to listen in on their conversation without him knowing.
/Bakura?/
What is it hikari?! I'm busy running from that psychopath Yugi commonly refers to as Yami!
/But Bakura...(sniffles)...the duel i-is about t-to start a-a-and Yugi won't be able to p-play if he doesn't get his deck back from you!!/ Ryou mock-cried; sounding as pathetic as he possibly could without giving anything away.
Oh Ra, Ryou!! Don't start that incessant bawling of yours, please!! I'm really not in the mood for that today!
/But what are we going to doooooo?!?! Without that deck, Y-Yugi won't have a ch-chance to compete with meeeeee! We'll be disqualifiiiiiiiiiiiiied!/ the younger boy wailed.
No you won't!! Ryou listen to me! I'm coming back right now if it really means that much to you, so please, please calm down!!
/Do you promise?/
Yes!! Yes I promise, I will come back right now! Just stop that awful caterwauling!
/Thank you, Bakura! I love you!/
Whatever!! Just go get some ice cream or something and put it on my charge, alright?
/Okay!/ Ryou disconnected the link and beamed happily at the other two occupants of the room, who in turn gave him the most dumbfounded looks possible.
"That...was the scariest thing...I have seen...in all 3,000 years of my existence..." Yami mumbled.
"Ryou, if I ever upset you...(gulp)...please let me know through a note." Yugi implored.
"Hey! He's coming back with the deck, isn't he?" Ryou asked defensively, bringing an uncanny smile to Yami's lips.
Noticing the sudden change in his other half's disposition, Yugi thought a certain rule would be wise if Bakura was to make it through the weekend unscathed.
"Okay Yami, as long as you don't kill him or leave him crippled for life, you can deal with him when he gets back." he declared, standing up and moving the barricade from the door.
"Yes!! He is definitely going to pay for this!!! Mwa ha haaaaaaa!" Yami declared as the eye of Ra appeared on his forehead and began to glow.
"Yami!!"
"Oh...heh heh...sorry?" Yami grinned sheepishly.
Ryou and Yugi sighed collectively as they sat waiting for Bakura to return.
This was going to be the longest weekend ever...
End of Chapter!
Tenshi: I love Bakura; he really knows how to bring the best out in Yami! What's going to happen next? Let's just say that a certain blonde will be making an appearance in the next chapter, so be prepared for the mother of all sugar highs accompanying him! :)