Not Broken, Just Bent
Note: I will be back with a new destination in Globe Trotting next week, but in the meantime here is this. The title is from the Pink song Just Give Me a Reason, which I think would be a good Walkerson song for Season 5.
***555***
Auggie knew she was safe. That alone was an improvement over the past 6 months, or the past 4 years really. Annie had arrived safely on US soil 4 days ago, but he had not talked to her since that phone call in Hong Kong. The CIA spared her a visit to Blue Bonnet, but she was sequestered somewhere being debriefed and evaluated and all sorts of things Auggie knew Annie would hate, but she was safe.
That knowledge was enough to keep Auggie focused on his own work.
"Anderson," Calder announced himself.
"Yes," he looked up and slipped the headphones off his ears.
"Can you join me for a minute?" he asked noticing Barber in the wings.
"Sure," Auggie tapped his computer to sleep and stood, grabbing his laser cane.
Calder led him to a conference room and closed the door, Auggie didn't sense anyone else in the room.
"Annie is going to be released tomorrow morning," Calder began.
"How is she?" Auggie asked as calmly as he could with his heart in his throat.
"Rattled, exhausted, confused," Calder said each word gently.
Auggie nodded along, not surprised by the adjectives.
"We have set up an apartment for her, a new one and had her belongs shipped there. I was hoping you might be willing to go there tonight and make it feel more like home," Calder fished for the right words.
"You want the blind guy to do the decorating?" Auggie actually snorted.
"I don't imagine she would want anyone else going through her stuff and I don't expect you to arrange the china, but maybe make the bed and hang up some of her clothes. You must have some sort of system, your apartment is immaculate."
"It was until you and your goons showed up with sledge hammers," he grinned.
"Water under the bridge Auggie, water under the bridge," Calder grinned back.
"Sure, I'll do anything for Annie, but I imagine you figured that out already. Can someone drop me by there or am I supposed to find it on my own too?"
"While I have no doubt you could find it on your own with no more knowledge than you have now, I will gladly drive you over and give you the tour so you don't hang her clothes in the shower," Calder offered.
***555***
"Can we stop and get some groceries, I can unpack all I can, but it would be much more welcoming if Annie came home to some food and coffee?" Auggie suggested as Calder led him to the Jag that evening.
"Sure," Calder agreed readily.
Calder pushed the cart and Auggie suggested items, just some staples so Annie could have a few meals and a stash of coffee, tea and ice cream handy. Auggie gladly paid for the groceries, happy in any way to provide sustenance for Annie.
Calder contributed to the supplies with a 6 pack of beer which the men cracked open as they sorted the boxes. Once a clear path was delineated for Auggie and the boxes were all in logical places for him to work Calder left him alone with Annie's things.
Auggie started with the boxes of clothes. He felt each item for seasonality and hung what felt to be warm and fallish and left the lighter short-sleeved things in the boxes for spring. He found an entire box of shoes and tried to pair them by feel and height, but he was certain Annie would have to rearrange the shoe organizer to set them right.
He found a box of towels that smelled fresh enough and hung a few in the bathroom on a towel rod and put the box with the remaining right outside the bathroom door. Inside the bathroom was a small box on the lid of the toilet. Inside were bottles of various shapes and weights. Auggie unscrewed cap after cap, placing bottles that smelled like Annie's hair in the shower and a bottle of Jo Malone Grapefruit on the shelf over the sink. Each scent filled him with joy and highlighted how empty he felt since she went dark.
Auggie's cell rang and he tapped it to answer.
"Hello," he said simply.
"Auggie man, we're at Allen's couldn't find you when we left," Eric Barber spoke loudly over a decent crowd noise from their favorite hangout.
"I had some errands to do tonight Barber, thanks for thinking of me though," Auggie said with a smile.
"It's still early, swing by," Barber encouraged.
"I'm going to sit this one out, still got some work to finish up," Auggie begged off and hung up with a promise he would join them again soon.
Thrown off his progress by the call Auggie used his cane to find the box he had Calder put next to the bed. Opening it his hands hit soft cool bed linens. There was no way for him to confirm they were the same sheets that had surrounded he and Annie their first night together in this same bed, but they had the perfect combination of crisp and soft he remembered on every inch of his body.
He made the bed precisely, his military training kicking in, and fluffed the pillows gently, holding one to his face trying to smell Annie but coming up with just a stale scent of long ago fabric softener. In a ridiculous break of his reserve he held the pillow to his body, wrapped his arms around it, before placing it back on the bed and leaving the apartment.
***555***
"Do you need any assistance?" the black-suited agent that had escorted Annie to her new home asked.
"No," she shook her head and gave the tiniest of smiles, "I'm fine."
"It goes without saying Annie, you can't talk to anyone yet, except me and Auggie," Calder pointed out.
"OK."
"Seriously, don't hesitate to call either one of us if you need anything," he reiterated.
Annie nodded and shouldered the small bag that held all her worldly possessions of the past half year and entered the cheery looking brownstone. She climbed the flight of stairs to the second floor landing and found apartment #4, the key opened the door to a bright living room with a couple pieces of her old furniture in it.
Annie hung her coat and bag on a rack by the door and locked the door, securing the chain behind her. She moved to the small kitchen, her stomach grumbling at the bowl of fruit that looked fresh and delicious on the counter. She picked up a green apple and knew Auggie had been there.
If she doubted that first thought at all it was erased when she saw the coffee maker on the counter, plugged in, gleaming chrome with a messy post it note that said "press here" placed relatively close to the power switch. She smiled, confirmed the coffee maker was set up and pressed as instructed.
While the coffee brewed she found her way to the bedroom and the bathroom, more signs of Auggie: a well-made bed, mismatched shoes and the Jo Malone grapefruit she hadn't worn in months like puzzle pieces of the sweetest memory. Fishing soft comfortable clothes from her dresser she showered and combed out her messy hair, braiding it.
Annie poured a cup of coffee into the one plate or dish that was unpacked, a seemingly new coffee mug that sat on the counter. She picked up her phone and dialed.
***555***
Auggie had slept better than he anticipated. Being around Annie's things was no substitute for being around Annie, but it had imbued him with a sense of peace that she had a home now, a place, a location in the same city as his own. While he wanted nothing more than for her to be in his place constantly, he understood she needed to feel grounded after all she went through and needed to have a place to reflect and regroup.
His cell phone rang, announcing a call from Evergreen which Auggie knew to be Annie's new code name. He moved his headphone jack from the computer to his phone and answered.
"Hello."
"Thank you," she said simply.
"You're welcome. I didn't put kitchen towels in the bathroom or your floor wax in the shower did I?" he said quietly.
"No, you did a freakishly good job, you even got most of the shoes right," she laughed lightly.
"Good, I am glad you are there."
"Me too. I can't really go anywhere, but Calder said I could contact you and since you already know the place, could you come by after work?"
"Of course."
"Thanks," and with that she ended the call.
***555***
Annie woke with a start at the knock on the door. She shuffled to answer it and saw Auggie fidgeting nervously with his cane outside.
"Hey," she said her voice scratchy.
"Hey, were you asleep?" he asked in response to her voice.
"Yeah, sorry, days and nights are still a little fouled up. Come in," she placed a hand on his chest in welcome.
Auggie used his cane in case Annie had done any remodeling during the day, but he found his way to the couch without a problem. He placed a hand on the couch, but did not sit down without an invitation. He hated how awkward he felt all of a sudden.
"Would you like a beer?" Annie's voice placed her near the kitchen.
"Sure," Auggie agreed, but remained standing.
Annie returned with 2 bottles and realized Auggie hadn't moved.
"Are you OK?" she asked carefully.
"I think so. Are you OK?" he blinked at her.
"More or less," she shrugged and tapped the bottle against his hand, " please sit down."
"More or less?" he repeated as he sat.
"Physically I am fine, a little tired but otherwise fine. Mentally is a bit more of a mixed bag," she shot out an angry laugh.
"That's to be expected Annie, you've been through a lot," he reasoned.
"I know," she nodded again for the comfort of the action.
"Well you look good," he said and waited for her to get it.
She laughed, but not her usual joyous laugh.
"Thanks."
Auggie had 10,000 questions to ask her, but was uncertain which ones were safe: was she coming back to work? Was she going to talk to Danielle? Did she still love him? So he asked none of them and sipped lamely on his beer.
"I'm angry with you," she finally said quietly.
"Yeah," it was a breath, neither a question nor a statement.
"We made a mistake," she began again and Auggie instantly interrupted.
"We were not a mistake."
"I didn't say that, but we made a mistake."
"You have every right to be mad about Helen," he passed a hand over his face.
"I'm not mad about Helen, well I mean, that's not the only thing I am mad about."
"What are you mad about?"
"Parker."
"Parker?"
"Yes and if you are truly honest with yourself you would find you are angry with me too…"
"Simon," he ground out the word.
"We might not have been together when those relationships started, but we were both hurt by them, betrayed, heartbroken," she choked on the last word.
"You can't honestly compare Parker to Simon Annie, it was two entirely different situations. You slept with, hell you fell in love with, an enemy agent. Parker was just a girl…"
"A girl you were going to marry!" Annie yelled.
Auggie stopped and waited, Annie had never yelled at him like this, not about non-work stuff.
"You were going to marry her and not me," she said more calmly.
"I didn't think you were an option."
"You didn't ask," she snapped.
"When should I have asked Annie, during the Ben Mercer madness or while you were playing happy couple with Doctor Scott or falling all over Eyal or sleeping with a killer?" now Auggie was yelling.
"So I wasn't worth fighting for then?" her tone icy now.
"You didn't fight for me either. I told you I was proposing to Parker, I showed you the ring, you seemed happy for me. How was I ever to have known you felt differently?" he flailed for an answer.
"It was all over my face," she produced a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh.
"That is not fair. It kills me every day that I cannot see your face, that I have to rely on verbal clues to know how you feel."
"I thought you knew everything about me, you were the one person that I thought knew me, the real me," she now sounded more sad than mad.
"I'm not psychic Annie. I do know you, I hope that I do, but we still need to talk. You still need to tell me things. You can't be mad at me for not guessing you cared about me 2 years ago."
"I'm mad that you loved someone else more."
"I didn't love Parker more, I loved her differently."
"Semantics."
"If I was EVER given a choice between you and Parker I would have chosen you 100% of the time, but I did not think that choice was mine to even ask for," Auggie was getting mad now.
"So this is my fault?" she spat back and stood up.
"Why does it have to be anyone's fault?" Auggie sighed and listened to her walk away.
***555***
Annie paced the bedroom, berating herself for fighting with the one person she loved and trusted most in this life. Why was this all coming out now? And why was it coming out so badly?
She walked back and forth until she calmed down and felt more rational only to be swept into a panic that Auggie had left while she was composing herself. She rushed back to the living room relieved to see him sitting right where she left him.
"I love you," she blurted out.
"I thought you were mad at me?" he quirked an eyebrow.
"I can't be both?" she smiled, glad to see some light in his features.
"Annie, I am truly sorry if I broke your heart two years ago and painfully sorry that what happened with Helen reinforced that."
"I am sorry about Ben and Scott and Simon, but you need to know nothing has ever happened between me and Eyal. I kissed him once, but it was a total ploy. Not saying I didn't enjoy it, but it was a trap, regardless I am sorry if you ever felt like you meant less to me than any of them. You are everything Auggie, you are everything to me."
"Are we too broken to fix?" he asked shyly.
"No."
"What's next?"
Instead of formulating an answer, Annie moved closer, took his hand from his knee and placed it on her cheek, leaned closer and smiled when his hand cupped her cheek, slid down to her jaw and pulled her the rest of the way to his lips.
"Perhaps we should go on a real date?" Auggie mentioned when he pulled back from the kiss.
"Well I am kind of trapped here until my life is straightened out, but I can offer you a tuna sandwich and some salad," she hooked a thumb back towards the kitchen.
"Sounds perfect," he stole one more kiss.
"But when I am back among the living I am going to hold you to that date."
The End
Note: So, Epona3, I managed to keep their clothes on for over 2500 words, but I could not keep it kiss-free. .. they are just too kissable.