CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE

Chapter 1

Horatio sat in the waiting area outside the PD Medical Center, feeling… nervous. It was stupid to feel so. The annual medicals were compulsory. He begrudged the time, but it was more than that. It was the same feeling he had had on the only two occasions he had taken polygraph tests. A feeling of being about to get caught out, even if there was nothing to catch. Anyway, his health had always been good - he'd never had problems passing a medical.

They always followed the same pattern. A long interview - not a psychiatric one, although he knew he could be referred if the doctor deemed it appropriate. A review of the samples, including blood, that he had supplied a couple of days earlier. Then a full physical, including lung function and an ECG, both before and after some modest exercise.

He was conscious that he had passed his fifty-seventh birthday this year. Sixty was the recommended, though not mandatory, age for an officer of his rank to pull back from the front line. Desk job… Or, in his case, lab job maybe. He dreaded the thought… In truth, he managed not to think about it.

At least he'd get Richard Evans, the top man in the medical center. He'd seen him for the last five or so years, and found him sensible, down-to-earth and helpful, rather than a nit-picking, by-the-book man. He appeared to understand what drove men like Horatio, and did his best, within the rules, to make sure they carried on doing what they did best.

Now Horatio sat across the desk from him and tried not to fiddle with his fingers as he watched the doctor perusing his notes.

"Well, my friend," he said at last, "you've had a bad year."

"I suppose so."

"No one could call it good. Shot a year ago… Poisoned back in May…"

"I'm okay though."

The doctor peered over his glasses. "We'll see."

"I was signed off as fit both times."

Horatio did not want to dwell on either event, but the doctor had other ideas. "No repercussions?"

"Not really. You've got the notes."

Richard Evans chuckled. "I have. A truly Horatio Caine series of events… if I may say so. Both times discharged from hospital and back at work sooner than was wise. Both times put back in hospital with infections."

"Yes, well… I hate hospitals."

"I could lecture you about them knowing their job… But it would fall on deaf ears, I imagine."

Horatio smiled. "Probably."

"Tell me about this poisoning - how did that happen?"

"Oh, stupid really…. A woman took a fancy to me… stalked me a bit… When I rejected her advances, she took revenge. I suppose I was a bit careless."

"I don't suppose you could have seen that coming. Did it make it to court?"

"Yes. Ten years, for assault."

"And how do you feel about it?"

"Psychiatry now, Richard?" Horatio raised his eyebrows. "I'm fine. Be more careful in future."

"And you're eating normally now?"

"I am now. It took a while."

"I can see." He referred back to the notes. "That was a serious weight-loss."

"You told me I should lose weight…"

"I did. When you had a belly out to here… Just not quite as much as that. Anyway, let's examine you…"

Stripped to his boxers, Horatio submitted to the full battery of tests as required, ending with the ECG. As usual, Richard was silent as he worked, while Horatio concentrated on relaxing, determined not to let stress spike his pulse rate or blood pressure. Although, he gathered, allowances were made for that.

"Okay…" The doctor said at last. "Get dressed, and come and sit down…"

As he sat down, he murmured flippantly, "Will I live?"

"Oh, I think so. You're not in bad shape, for a man…"

"Of my age?"

"I was going to say, for a man in your line of work. But, yes, you're fifty-seven… The wear and tear is beginning to show… a little." He took his glasses off and studied the man opposite. "Have you had any breathing problems? Or chest pain?"

"None. Why?"

"There's a slight anomaly on this trace… More obvious after exertion." He indicated the ECG printout. "May be nothing, but I'm going to send you up to the Dade Memorial Cardiac Unit for a bit more investigation."

"Richard, please! I'm fine…"

"You probably are, but you know I have to do this. I'm sorry, Horatio…"

"Does this go on the record?"

"You know how it works. Medical details are confidential as always, but… if I find a person is unfit for duty - or their current duties - I have to report it. It's why we do this…"

"I know. But I'm not unfit."

"No, I don't think you are. What I have to do is… sort of 'grade' you. You've always come out right at the top… I've never had to indicate any problems…" He smiled at Horatio's expression. "We're not there yet - let's see if we've got anything to be concerned about or not."

"You'll tell me, before you tell them?"

"Of course I will. Just do this, Horatio. Come and see me in about a week and we'll talk about it. Okay?"

"Have to be, don't I?"

"Yes, you do. I'm sorry."

Horatio sighed. "Not your fault, Richard."