Tina tilted her head, watching her parents shout at each other. They weren't fighting, far from it in fact.
It was just her parents were the fucking loudest bastards on Pandora. Every word they spoke had to be shouted as loudly as possible.
She was honestly ready to blow both of them up because they weren't listening to her. Her daddy, Krieg, kept screaming about cartilage. Her papa, Mister Torgue, was shouting back. Somehow, the two men made their marriage work.
Tina smiled and walked over to her grenade mod collection, scanning them. Her eyes lit up as they landed on the Contraband Skyrocket that her papa had given her for her last birthday.
Humming a tune she made up, the thirteen year old equipped it. She turned back to her parents and tossed a grenade right between them.
The grenade flew up over their heads and exploded into a ton of fireworks. Tina smiled ruthlessly and flounced over to her dads who were both down for the count.
Once she had revived them, the two men stared down at her.
"TINA, THAT WAS BADASS, BUT YOU SHOULDN'T EXPLODE YOUR PARENTS!" Mister Torgue shouted.
"You two wouldn't shut up!" Tina shrugged. "You both promised to have tea and crumpets with me!"
Krieg and Mister Torgue looked at each other before Krieg screamed, "I LOOKED INTO THE HEART OF DARKNESS, AND I ATE IT ALL!"
"SIT DOWN AND HAVE TEA AND CRUMPETS, DADDY," Tina yelled.
The men shrugged and took their seats at Tina's tea table.