Hey guys, I'm back. Sorry, I've had a really long vacation and didn't do any writing in that time. In that time I did keep up with collaboration, though. So now, I'm writing this little story to get back into the writing 'groove.'
After this, I'll pick up right where I left off with my Stevidot and my others.
Also, my fraken Ipad broke. Like, it just won't load correctly and I can't write on it.
For this story, I wouldn't mind for a title change. Any suggestions?
Sorry for going without warning, but I hope you guys enjoy.
We're All on an Hourglass
Steven and Connie were having a simple sleep-over, one of the many they've had to together. It was over at Steven's place.
This would be the first of two in a row they would have, the second being at Connie's house. They could in spite of school because was over the weekend.
Connie sat on top of her zipped-up, dark-green sleeping bag, cross-legged. She was busy talking to Steven, who lay on the side of the bed, staring at her with his head propped up on his hand.
There was adequate lighting in the room, courtesy of the lamp that sat on Steven's dresser. It shone with an orange-ish glow and illuminated the both of them, at least the side of them that faced the other.
"Well, if you really wanna know," Connie began, acknowledging Steven's previous question. "My day at school yesterday consisted of me walking around and going to class." She put a finger up while faking enthusiasm. "And don't forget listening to a random guy talk for an hour. Man, you have no idea how fun that is."
Steven chuckled at her sarcastic description, obviously showing her boredom of school.
"Come on, it wasn't that bad," he said d. He had always wanted to go to school and was jealous of Connie for not only being able to go, but for how well she did in it.
But he'd rather continue with being home schooled by Pearl.
"Yeah, you're right," Connie agreed, "But I wouldn't really go if I didn't have to." Her glance went up to the ceiling as she was in thought. "I mean, I'm going to waste at least 12 years of my life going to school, when I'm just going to spend the rest of it not needing the stuff I'm gonna learn from it."
She looked back at Steven, who had been staring at her, listening intently. Then she continued on. "I know I used to want to be a pharmacist or a doctor, like my mom. And I really don't want to disappoint my parents." Her tone dropped. "What am I gonna do when I tell them I want to throw that all away to be with you and protect the Earth."
Connie dropped herself down onto the sleeping bag with her hands spread out. She closed her eyes and thought about her future in silence.
Steven hated when she got all sad like now. How did a simple conversation turn to this?
He reached his small hand down to grab hers. The action almost caused him to fall of the bed, but he regained his balance.
Connie opened her eyes at the feeling of touch on her hand. Gazing back up to Steven, she met his eyes. They gleamed at night, or as she always thought.
"I wouldn't mind that," he said sincerely. His words, although few, were uplifting to Connie, making her forget about the possible disappointment of her parents. Feeling a warmth tingling through her, Connie smiled back at his words.
The warming sensation felt like happiness had just been put into her and flowed through her veins, gradually reaching every part of your body. And it would happen when she heard something that brought her up when she was feeling down.
Connie loved how he made everyone around him instantly feel better. "Me neither." She put her second hand onto Steven's hand. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she mindlessly put out. Paying attention to his caring words and smile had distracted her. Otherwise, she probably wouldn't have said that.
But she did, and she had only realized what she had said after Steven's mouth dropped slightly in shock. But he quickly turned it into a smile.
Connie opened her mouth to say something to take her words back, trying to defuse the situation. Yet, no words came out. She couldn't take back something she had sincerely meant.
And Steven didn't want her to,he was happy to hear those words from her. He took a moment and tried to imagine what it would be like, to spend his life with her. He couldn't quite picture any event. All he knew was that it'd be great, as long as she was there.
"That's gonna be a long time," Steven said as he tried to make conversation. "It's gonna get boring after a while, huh?"
The room turned a little brighter, and not because of the light the lamp gave off.
"No day is boring with you," Connie replied back softly. "And, I think it being a long time is a good thing."
She enjoyed having talks like this with Steven, one's that furthered their relationship. They were their milestones.
Every event that allowed them to grow closer was the result of a meaningful talk.
The time they were trapped under the ocean and Steven became her friend, after hearing she had none.
The time she admitted she couldn't dance, leading for them to discover their very own fusion together.
The time she helped him through the trauma of being taken prisoner where he promised to always share his secrets, no matter how deep, with her.
The time Connie talked to him about wanting to learn to use a sword, which also led to the conversation the had during the battle where they agreed to fight with the other and not for the other.
The time they had that awkward, but necessary, talk about them wanting to keep to a intimate, but non-sexual relationship.
The time where she agreed to give Steven space for him to explore his feeling for another, who was now a close friend to her and Steven alike in spite of the awkwardness it would sometimes bring when the three of us are together.
She loved every one of those times no matter how bad, for it made the both of them stronger and closer in the end. And now, she was obligated to spend the rest of her life with him.
Life.
The word brought a more disturbing thought to her mind. And it showed clearly on her face, but her distraught look when unnoticed be Steven.
The thought was something that was always on the back of her mind, every day since Steven told her about how his age was only affected by the way he felt and that he could live forever. Or at least until he felt old or was killed by something else.
No matter how long she was to live, Steven would most likely live past that. And it would brought consequences she hated.
"Steven," Connie said, getting the boy's attention even though it was already on her.
"Yeah, Connie," he happily replied back. He still bore a smile, not suspecting the sadness in her thoughts.
But, even as sad as it is, Connie knew that they would need to talk about it sometime. She guessed sometime should be now.
She took a deep breath, then started. "You know..." She paused.
Maybe they didn't need to talk about it now. Maybe she could bring this up tomorrow, when the two of them weren't tired and having a moment together. But it's started, might as well finish.
"You and I are gonna spend a long time together."
"And I'll love every moment," Steven responded. His words hurt Connie, for how much love he had in them.
But she carried on. "Yes, me too." One last deep breath. "But it can't last forever."
Steven went silent, realizing where this was going. He hoped that it wasn't what he thought, but the thought of death was always on the back of his mind as well. Not his own death, but Connie's.
"I know..." he said, smile fading. "I know," he repeated. All his happiness that filled his tone before was gone. Replaced by the heart-breaking sadness of truth.
Connie continued on, she wanted to speak her mind no matter how much it would hurt the both of them. "I love you, Steven. And I am true to my word when I say I want to spend the rest of the time I have with you. To spend the rest of my life with you." She tightens her grip on his hand. "But I can't spend the rest of your life with you."
Steven understood exactly what she was saying. And he let her go on with her thoughts as he couldn't find his own response yet.
"I know that we know that I'm human. I know that we've both known that our love will be cut short." Connie closed her eyes, trying to relax the tears that started to fill her vision.
She let her thought wander wherever they may.
"My dad has always said that we, as in humanity as a whole," Steven cringed as this passively implied that he wasn't human and thus not normal, but he knew that it wasn't meant in such a way, "We are limited by an hourglass. The sands in the hourglass, although seemingly many, will always seem short in the end.
"And those sands will be constantly flowing as long as I am alive, and won't ever stop until the very end."
As if shameful, Connie faced away from Steven. Her nexts words was something she had to let out. "When I die," she began, sending a warnful pang to Steven's chest, "You will go on with your destiny, living for-I don't know-another ten thousand years or something." She waved hand through the air in exaggeration of the 'I don't know.'
Connie takes another breath. "I'm scared, constantly, about my worth. It's why I started sword training, it's why I'm always trying to be better for you. I'm worried that, in the end, you'll be left with nothing but a broken heart and the sad memory of losing a person you once loved."
She let her words resonate through the silence that followed.
Steven had taken the words in the exact way they were intended to be. She wasn't trying to say anything along the lines of him having a weak heart. It was true, he'd could very well fall under a deep depression at the lost of her. It was simple truth.
From what the Gems told him, Greg (and the rest of them for that matter) fell into one at the loss of his mother. But his father, who seemed like a cheerful person that has always been like that, was said to have changed dramatically. At least compared to how Garnet described him while Rose was still here.
Another thing Steven realized about what he just heard was that Connie wasn't sad about her death. Heck, she's willing to die any day.
It was about how her death would affect him. That his turmoil due to it was more important than her own loss.
When Connie looked up to Steven, she saw the gloomy look that had fallen upon him. She instantly felt bad for causing it.
"Steven, I-I'm sorry for bringing that up," she stuttered.
"No, no. Don't be," he said quickly, and sternly. Steven had heard many terrible truths from his loved ones. And he didn't want an apology for bringing up another.
He continued on the subject. "I guess we've just never wanted to talk about it. But, as we are..."
Before he went on, he rolled himself off his bedside and dropped down next to Connie. He then adjusted himself comfortably to a position where they both were face-to-face.
It would usually be a little too close for comfort, but neither cared at the moment.
Steven continued, staring into Connie's gleaming eyes. "I want you to know that I've thought of this before. About humans and death and all that stuff. And I want you to know that any day, every day, I spend with you I'll savor." He paused for a second, then felt as there was something else he needed to say.
"You'll never be a memory. You'll always be important to me. And part of you will always be with me. Either in the thoughts I will have in remembering the times we've spent together, or in whatever amazing legacy that you will leave." He ended offering a weak smile.
Connie couldn't respond right away. The girl was too busy with the tears in her eyes and the emotions that ran through her. Her eyes shut themselves. She took in heavy breaths through her nose and sighed loudly when breathing out through her mouth. But it was futile in the attempt to stop tears.
As Steven watched, a drop appeared on the side of her eye and trickled down the side of her face. He wasn't faring better with his emotions, but he didn't yet feel the urge to cry.
This was certainly a hard subject for the two of them to talk about.
Eventually, Steven got up to his knees to turn off his light. He pulled the chain on his lamp until he heard it click.
They weren't going to need to see anything. And the lines of moonlight that filtered its way through the window provided enough light so the two could still see the other.
Noticing his actions, Connie half-heartedly got up . In silence, she opened up the already unzipped the sleeping bag and pulled it apart.
As they both lay back down on the warm padding, Connie kept the bag open for they didn't need the warmth at the moment.
They both sat in silence for a while, recouping back their emotions.
Connie was the first to manage to speak. "Thank you," were her simple words. They were a little overdue, but still carried as much meaning.
"I meant every word," Steven replied, voice a little crackly. His throat was a little dry, making him swallow before he could say anything else. But he didn't need to for the time being.
"You know, Steven," Connie mindlessly says, looking at the ceiling and letting her words spill out, "Sometimes...I wish we weren't in love."
In realization of what she had just said, she quickly tried to recover. "WaitThatsNotWhatIMeant!" she exclaims loudly, turning over to Steven with eyes wide open.
But Steven, although not completely understanding what she meant by her words, knew that it didn't mean in such a way. He put a hand to Connie's lower arm to calm her down.
"It's okay," he said, "You can explain yourself."
Mentally wiping her panic away, Connie calmed down to resume her thoughts. After a sigh of relief, she explained herself. "What I meant to say was, that sometimes...I don't know if our love is...for the better." She looked down, or in this instance, to the side. "I sometimes think that you may be better off not knowing me. Maybe I'd be more bad than good. Maybe I'd-"
Steven suddenly grabbed her and pulled her in, stopping Connie in her thoughts and giving her a slight shock. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, not letting say another word of 'maybes.' He didn't want to hear those possibilities.
"I'd like to be with you for better or for worse," Steven said, voicing his thoughts.
To exaggerate his point, he went on to tell his own 'maybes.'
Still in an embrace, both heads over the other's shoulder, he spoke. "There are times I wish I knew what it was like to be human. Maybe it'd be better." He tried to keep to Connie's word choice to emphasize the message he tried to get across. "I'd sometimes wonder if I'd like it more to be human, to go to school, get a job, live a life, than be a gem. Of course I'd choose to be a gem, but... I just think like that sometimes."
He breaks their embrace for a second. While hold Connie's face in his hands, cringed up from her crying, he smiles at her. And, after giving a few seconds of silence to let his words sink in, he says, "I love you."
They are words that the both of them have repeated to each other countless times. But each time they said it, including now, carried as much meaning as if it was the first time. Connie muscled out a wryly smile at him.
She wanted to say 'I love you, too.' But she substituted with pulling him into a kiss instead.
Steven, although surprised at first, closed his eyes and pushed back.
Their kiss lasted for a while, with the neither wanting to pull away. For a good half minute, the sat still, feeling the warmth of the other on their lips.
But they had to pull away eventually. And when they did, all the tension between them from their past conversation had left. It was replaced by the joy of simply being with the other.
After calming down, lying back down with smiles on their face, they faced the ceiling as they held each other's hand. Steven's fingers were interlaced with Connie's.
Connie had also pulled the other half of the sleeping over them, providing them a blanket when they were to doze off to sleep.
But neither was tired right now and Steven wanted to continue the conversation. Especially with a no gloomy atmosphere hanging above them.
He wiped his dry tears from his face and grabbed Connie's attention. "Hey, Connie."
"Yes?" she replied. Her eyes were closed but simply because she was relaxing, not sleepy as Steven thought she was.
"Oh, sorry," he said passively, thinking that the conversation would be better continued in the morning while the were well rested. Even though they both had no intentions of sleeping right now.
"No no, go ahead," Connie said. She opened her eyes to show that she wanted him to go on.
"Well, okay." Steven paused for a second, question hanging on the edge of his tongue. He didn't really think he should ask it, but so many hard feelings had been shared already tonight. Why not one more?
Scratching his hand nervously, he started. "Ummmm, Connie. Would you mind if I, uhhhhh..." Finishing that question was going to be hard.
Connie looked over at him, giving an glare that urged him to say whatever he wanted to say. She wanted to hear it, no matter what it was.
With multiple doubts and second-thoughts, Steven forced out with his eyes closed, "Would you be okay if I fell in love again?...If I ever do."
His eyes stayed shut long after. He was scared of what he was going to see. Although even he knew that there was nothing for him to be afraid of.
Connie thought about the question. Her answer was a confirmed yes as soon as she heard it.
Of course she'd be okay with it. Steven deserved to love again, even if it's not with her. All that mattered was that he found happiness.
Still, she stayed silent for a few moments, thinking about it. The question had sparked a few thoughts.
I wonder who Steven would choose next.
But that was irrelevant.
Am I really that disposable?
No, Steven's just planning for the future. He may not even find love again, but this is just in case he does. And she was grateful that Steven would even ask for her blessing. It showed his loyalty to her and she was touched.
Finally, after a seemingly forever, Steven got his answer. "Yes," Connie said, "Definitely."
Steven opened up his eyes with some surprise. "Really?" he exclaimed, as if he expected the opposite. "Are you sure?" Connie gave a nod in response.
"As long as she not better looking than me," she joked, offering a cheeky smile.
Abandoning the emotions of anxiety from before, Steven joined in and gave a small chuckle. "Can't make any promises."
They both laughed now as they pushed aside their past emotions and cuddled together. Surrounded by the cloth padding that seemed to hold them together, they shared their warmth until they fell into sleep.
Just as Connie was about to fully doze off, she put out one last thought. "I wish I could be ageless like you." she whispered. Then adding, "With you."
Steven, to her surprise, had not fell asleep either and had heard her. "So do I," he replied softly.
Even though both of their mind's were hazy from being on the verge of sleep, they were fully aware of their words. Then they fell asleep in each other's arms.
They also added to the list of conversations that made them closer.
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Okay, that was amazing to write. There will be a second part to this, too. Not gonna say anything about it now, but it's going to be out in about a week, if everything goes well.
The next thing I'm going to put out is the long-awaited chapter to my Stevidot.
To advertise a little, I wrote a song under the title "Defectivity and Love." It's mainly a song in the POV of Pearl after having her conversation on that floating rock above the soon-to-be battlefield. This is just in case you haven't seen it.
Lastly, I have a poll up on my page, in case you also didn't know. It's asking about your favorite ship. Whatever is most voted will decide my next story!
And that's all for right now, cya guys. Stay a Connversal.