As a paramedic, I am entrusted with the lives of many little birdies. When a chick has fallen from the nest, broken and battered, I swoop in and help them on their journey back. Over the years I have seen many come and go, their appreciative smiles enough to put my heart at ease. Though, you Matthew, were that one odd duckling with your golden locks and your gentle features, that pulled my attention. I could remember it as of it was yesterday...
I was on another run, called out to the highway where a car collision had been reported. They said that two men had been injured in the crash, and that one was unresponsive. We sped down the road as I held on to the side of the ambulance, readying myself for the carnage. As the vehicle came to a stop, I set up all of the medical supplies and sent out the stretcher. Then as they brought you back, I could feel my whole body get flushed with a hot wave. You looked so peaceful lying there, as if you were sleeping soundly. I nodded to them and set to work. You had blacked out when your head made contact with the dashboard, earning you quite the bump. The ambulance started up again and we were back on our way to the hospital. I checked your body for lacerations and any stray pieces of metal that may have imbedded themselves into your perfect skin. Only a few pieces of glass stuck in your arms, and you shoulder had clearly been dislocated. I felt a bit bashful, but did my very best to keep you stable. Hesitantly, I had run my fingers through your hair. It was soft, though gnarled and stained with blood. The gentle rise and fall of your chest reminded me that you were still alive, that much warmed me. I was to put my outmost effort into keeping you alive and well.
When it came time for you to depart and go on your way to the emergency room, I chose to accompany you. I stayed by your side as we rushed through the halls, my eyes glued to your beautiful face. Your lips, though busted, were so gentle and tender, I wondered what they might feel like.
We both entered the room where another specialist waited to fix you all up. I smiled, though I felt a deep sadness inside me with having let you go. You would be fine in this man's care, he would make you all better. I left the room and waited outside. Nurses and doctors came and went, brushing past me like ghosts. I just kept my eyes on my palms, patiently waiting. Your face was burned into my skull. I could not shake you from my mind for the rest of my shift.
They checked you into a room on the fourth floor, where you were to stay and recover. I made sure to visit you first thing the next day. You were still asleep, though fresh bandages decorated your body. I sat by your bedside and talked to you as if you were an old friend. Even if my words had not registered, I still felt a bond form when I spoke to you. You would sometimes mumble in your sleep, and I would answer back. Your limbs would sometimes move restlessly while your mind was at rest. I was there to tuck them under the blankets and keep them steady. You were my baby bird.
I left on runs less frequently during the day, trying my best to make enough time to spend with you. At the time I did not know your name, no one did, so I chose to call you Подсолнечник; Sunflower.
Once a few days after, I walked in one morning to find you awake. You were confused at first, but I was there to fill you in on what had happened. I couldn't help but feel myself become lost in your eyes as I tried to explain the situation to you. You seemed so lost, so scared. I asked you what your name was, but you specified that you could not remember. You had been stricken with Amnesia. I felt so sorry for you, I asked the nurses and doctors on what to do with a patient who had no memory prior to waking up. They told me to experiment with certain objects that you may recognize and have flashbacks. That night I went home and picked out some common items such as my old teddy bear, a post card of the town we currently reside in, a book, and a maple leaf from the trees outside of my house. You had responded to the bear and the leaf more than I had expected. I felt excited, bringing in new items every day. You were very patient and gave each item a moment of your time. When you weren't sleeping or looking at old items, I was reading to you. You seemed to enjoy the old Russian folktales that I translated for you. I couldn't help but feel closer and closer to you with each visit. The nurses that I passed by in the halls glanced towards me with a little glint in their eye every morning, smiling towards me as I stood beside them in the elevator. They always asked me how you were doing. I think they were catching on to me. That didn't bother me at all.
One day, when I walked in with a rose for you, you seemed to be brighter than usual. I asked you what was up, and you could fully answer why with a description of some sort of memory. When you saw the rose clasped in my hand, your eyes filled with some deep emotion that I couldn't quite name. I could see that it was one of your triggers, so I handed it over. "F-for you." My voice had shook nervously.
You took the flower with a faint blush, eyeing it curiously. I watched with anticipation. Then, I could feel my world come crashing down all at once. You muttered another man's name. "Gilbert." I could see that this man was the key to your memory.
After that, I had left your room and went back to my shift. I was numb for the rest of the day. Two men nearly died when I had mixed up their IVs.
As expected, the next day, you were up and on your feet. You had dressed in the clothes I set on the counter top and checked yourself out under the name 'Matthew Williams'. I went into your room and found the rose resting on your pillow beside the other items I had brought in. My heart clenched as I sat on the edge of the bed. I rotated the rose between my thumbs, eyeing it's deep red petals. A sadness had hung over me for quite some time. I had lost you so easily.
I would have never expected to see you again after that day. But once again, I found my eyes wandering away from my work, to find you there in the emergency ward. You stood over the man you had mentioned before, holding his hand in yours. I could feel my body freeze, leaving me paralyzed in your presence. You shook your head and spoke in quick unintelligible words, your voice was so soft and angelic. I scrambled to hide myself behind something, anything. As if you could hear every thought in my head, you glanced over with a curious tilt of your head. Your eyes met mine and I could feel the dove in my chest flutter in it's cage. I could not break the bonds holding us together, though I desperately searched for an escape. Your emotions seemed to flow into my mind, emotions that I did not feel entitled to. But you did not look away. You could see into me, I was as transparent as clear, unstained glass. I could feel your presence, as if you were beside me now. Time ticked to the shared beat of our hearts, and you still held my gaze. A brilliant plume of red dashed your pearly cheeks, you felt the same.
I chose to close the gap between us. I had to feel your warmth, the silky texture of your hair. You saw me coming and met me half-way. I am grateful for this, as I am shy while passing through these busy halls. Two shy souls meet in the middle, and we awkwardly smile. Your teeth are as white as snow, and your eyes are deep violet like the midnight sky. Our hands entwine, creating a connection between our physical bodies. I can feel my body is in chaos. You draw in closer, wrapping your arms around my waist. I return mine around you as well, resting my palms on your back. Your head rests against my chest, and mine on your head. It is silent between us, but a million words have been shared.
I love you.
"Ivan? Where are you? Are you writing on the EKG tape again? We've got another run!" Matthew's voice calls from the hall. Ivan turned from the desk he was sitting at with an embarrassed blush.
"I-I'll be there in a minute, sorry Matvey!" Ivan set down his pen and smiled down at his work. He would definitely save this one for later. With intense care, he folded up the long strip of paper and set it neatly in his pocket. He turned his head as he stood up, almost jumping back.
"Oh! Matvey, there you are." Ivan smiled at the young blonde standing in the door-frame.
Matthew smiled and shook his head. "I swear, you could be an author with all the time you spend scribbling on our EKG tape."
Ivan strode over to him and wrapped his arms over his shoulders. "What if I was one? Would you still love me then?" He asked.
Matthew's smile grew. "Of course I would Ivan, you know that." He leaned in and stole a sweet kiss from his lips. "But an author doesn't save lives."
Ivan pulled away for a moment, smirking. "Good point." He leaned back in and stole another quick kiss. "Lets go save some then, da?"
Matthew chuckled. "Yep." He offered his hand, which Ivan took happily.
They both walked out of the room and back to the ambulances, sweet memories drifting like clouds between them.