Hurt myself today,
To see if I still feel,
I focus on the pain,
The only thing that's real,
Shepard knew he was going to die, the little god child had told him so, but it didn't bring the peace of mind he so longed for. The peace he desperately fought and was to die for. Nothing mattered anymore, for he was nothing more than a hollow man.
The needle tears a hole,
The old familiar sting,
Try to kill it all away,
But I remember everything,
He was a marine in the systems alliance once. Fighting for what he believed in, fighting for honour, nobody holding him back. Then he was a council spectre, the pride of the alliance and first human to attain such an honour. He had his crew, his mentor Anderson and he had his pure morals. They called him paragon after his defeat of sovereign, hailing him a hero even whilst ignoring his warnings, but even then life was still normal and easy. Then the collectors attacked, He managed to save joker from a fiery death, but he was spaced. He died. Cerberus found him and brought him back, thus condemning him to misery. They took his pride, his honour, his morals, and finally his body and tried to rebuild them. Needles stabbing, monitors buzzing, conversations continuing all around him, and for two years they were all unknown to him. Then he awoke to a world of war. He escapes with the Cerberus agents, and speaks to the illusive man, the devil himself, who uses his own morals against him. He saves people, recruits old and new friends and seems like the strongest man in the world. It's all a lie
What have I become,
My sweetest friend,
Everyone I know,
Goes away in the end,
He sits in his cabin, drinking cheap liquor after having nightmares. Nothing's the same. He died and the world kept moving on, leaving him behind. He hates them, hates himself. Everyone around him who he thought cared for him lied. Garrus is only obsessed with his vengeance and calibrations to even notice he hasn't slept properly in months. Tali is too busy being infatuated with the idea of him, not the real him. Liara is a cold, manipulative bitch who only used him for her own gain, and even gave his body to Cerberus of all people. Kaidan had decided that being his friend was inconvenient and even joker was only by his side because he felt guilty. His anger peaks. He stands from his chair, swaying uncertainly on his feet, and fired the empty bottle at the fish tank. None of it matters. None of it. He begins to stalk towards the fish tank, biotics flaring to life and he swings, his fist hitting the glass with the force to kill a krogan. Nothing happens. He continues hitting the tank, vaguely aware of EDI saying something in the background, until he can't feel his hand properly and still he hits it. Only when his hand is a mess of blood and pain does he release his biotics and slide down wall to sit on the floor. He's had enough. Why can't they understand he just wants to be left in peace.