Chapter One - Lost
(Inspired by: Welcome to My Life- Simple Plan)
Mom grins shyly, glancing at my father. Her golden eyes gleam with adoration. I hide my boredom as she again tells the tale of how her and dad met. It's the same, dreary story of how he saved her life time and time and time again.
"And that's when I knew he was the one," mom sighs, her head clearly fuzzy with memories of her days as a damsel in distress.
"Jesus, Bella, give it a break. We all know the story. We were there, remember?"
Jake's deep voice carries in his whiney groan from the backdoor. Jacob Black has been my knight in shining armor from day one. He swoops in to save the day every time I need him... like now.
"But, Renesmee wasn't and she loves this story, don't you, sweetheart?" mom turns her mushy gaze on me and I falter.
With a breath stuck in my throat, my truth never leaving my tongue, I smile brightly as she stares at me with expectant eyes.
"Of course I do!... but, mom, I do need to get to school."
She sighs, dejected at the thought. Carlisle sees it best that I go on sunny days to collect everyone's schoolwork and I simply agree because... well, I do what I'm told.
Playing by the rules is my thing. Since I was a little kid, I've seen what going against an authority could do and I never want to experience that again.
"I'll take you, Ness."
I smirk at Jake, thanking him for cutting before my mom could offer. I say my farewells and blast out the door in to the warm sunshine of a cool day. Jake jingles his keys as he makes a beeline for his Harley.
"Why do you lie to her?" Jake grins, swinging a leg over the monstrous vehicle.
My jaw shakes with the temptation to drop. He hands me a helmet, smiling sweetly as I glare at him.
"I'm not lying to her. I'm simply… keeping her happy by telling her what she wants to hear." I counter, leveling my gaze with his.
Jake rolls his eyes around his skull, the slight shake of his head showing the humor within my statement. Even I know that my response was contradictory and ridiculous, to say the least. I sigh, leaping on the vehicle and slipping the helmet's cover lid down. He kicks the stand back, revving the engine.
Peeling out down the road, I can sense my father's discomfort with his only daughter on the back of a death machine, although, it's a bit ridiculous considering I'm half-immortal. I can sympathize, though. I probably hate this damn thing as much as him, if not more.
We pull in the a back corner of the parking lot in attempt to keep the stares away, however, they still find us. With the sun shimmering across the sky, the students aren't surprised to find only one Cullen here today, but they've been enchanted by the romantic man in leather.
We've only been living in this rainy town outside of Portland for about eight months. Jake comes down for a visit whenever he can, but with the pack, opening up his own auto shop back in Forks, and with his dad not feeling too great these days, he doesn't have a lot of time to drive up.
Jake keeps the bike stable as I climb off and toss him the helmet. He grins at me, chocolate eyes glittering with secrets.
"What?" I blurt, combing the helmet hair from my curls with my manicured fingers.
He shakes his head slowly and, just for a moment, I see that same look my mother gave my father directed at me. My heart stumbles in my chest. I take a small step back, the burn of bile rising in my throat.
"Thanks for the ride, Jacob." I murmur, my fight-or-flight reaction begging to lift me in the sky.
His eyes shoot over to mine, the gooey look gone as he speaks. I find some solace in the fact that my best friend, practically my brother, is no longer giving me that lovey-dovey gaze.
"Do you need a ride home?"
I swallow the lump forming in my esophagus, "No, I have a project after school; I'll be at the library tonight."
"I'll pick you up there then." Jake grins, starting the bike up again.
"NO!" I shout, grabbing the attention of the students still mulling around the grey parking lot.
Heads poke out from their beat-up, prides of joy, wondering what the commotion is all about. I take a quick survey around the lot, biting my lip in embarrassment. Jake stares at me, slightly bewildered by my outburst. I smile weakly, my lips shaking slightly.
"Sorry... I just, I'll be busy and you have to head back to Washington tonight anyway. I don't know when I'll finish up, so, I'll see you when you get back."
Unconvinced, Jake purses his lips to the side. "You sure?"
I nod, offering a small, tightlipped smile. He doesn't argue further and leaves after a hug.
The day is slow and uneventful without my family here to entertain me. As the sun cowers behind the grey clouds, the heavens unleashing their sorrow, I question whether Alice had seen the afternoon rain or not. I wander around with my only friend, Anastasia. Her glossed lips never stop moving it seems.
We share three classes, including journalism which is why I got stuck in her group for a feature story. I could've joined anyone's group, but she's the only person who spoke to me before the project was assigned. It may have been to learn about rumors, but she spoke to me no less and hasn't asked much about me since that day.
Ana and I arrive to our final class, human health. It's the only class where I can earn PE credits without having to go outside. While I don't glitter like my family, my skin does have this slight glow that people would notice.
Sitting front row is an incredibly attractive man. I freeze in place, staring at him. His profile is near perfect with full lips in a slight pout. His cheeks are defined, black eye lashes resting upon them. The stranger's shiny, ebony locks fall around his face and ever-so-slightly over his brow. And he's pale. Really pale.
Ana spots him the same moment I do, her heart racing in her chest. The student looks up. I expect to see crimson irises at worst, topaz orbs at best, but instead, an enchanting, azure gaze meets mine.
"Who is that?" Ana coos, grinning like a lion whose found its prey.
Shaking my head, I grapple for air to clear my head as incoherent words dribble from my lips.
My senses were wrong, I think.
The man at the front table smiles to himself, shifting his gaze to the notebook in front of him.
My stomach churns with emotions. I feel my vampire senses tingling at the presence of another immortal, but as I glance around the room, I see the same faces I've been seeing every day. The only new one is that student. Besides incredibly pale skin and unnatural good looks, he could pass for human… I think.
Ana winks at me, having said something I didn't quite catch. We head off to our table, her dirty whispers about the new guy. I grimace at her comments, not understanding half of them. She laughs at my expression.
"Oh, please, don't tell me you didn't think about him naked the moment you saw him."
I scoff, shaking my head as my cheeks warm.
"I don't know him."
Ana rolls her eyes, "You don't have to know someone to screw them."
I sigh, seeing that she has been mesmerized by this guy's appearance. He oozes sexual desire from the dark, bad-boy look he's got going on. The black, long-sleeve shirt he's wearing in pushed up to his elbows. While loose, it still holds form to his lean torso. Dark, denim jeans extend over his long legs in to his leather boots. A thick, leather band is clipped around his left wrist, a silver yin-yang sign in the center.
Those ocean-blue eyes flicker to mine. My cheeks catch fire as he grins. Ducking my head low, I study the chips and sketches on the black granite of my table.
The teacher, Ms. Leaver, stands from her desk and takes roll before she makes an announcement that shatters my slowly resurfacing content.
"For the last quarter of this year, we're going to have a seat change. With our new student, we have enough people in the class to assign one boy to one girl for everyone's favorite section to learn about; sexual education,"
The class's reaction is a mix of cat calls and groans of despair. I'm one of the few that drop their head to the desk. I've taken this course four times now and after the first one, I find the lesson to be… unnecessary. I huff, hardly listening to Ana's obnoxious whispers about her hopes of sitting next to the new guy and having a "study date" with him.
"Cullen, you're next to new student."
The new guy turns back with a slight grin. He watches me as I reluctantly move from my seat. Ana smirks at me as I slowly throw my backpack over my shoulder. Ana's cheeks are tight from her ear-to-ear smile. I glance at her, cocking an eyebrow.
"What's with the look?" I blurt, eyes wide as I stare back at her.
She bites her lip and nods over to the transfer, "You're sitting with that fine piece of man over there, that's what the look is."
I follow her gaze to the back of his head, but with the slight tilted angle his head is at, I know he's listening. In spite of myself, I huff.
"Don't remind me."
His airy chuckle reaches my ears. Making the move across the room feels like forever, but eventually, I slip in to the cool, metal chair beside the handsome man. My lips rest in a tight line as I pull out my notebook and pen, scribbling the title of the lesson down. I wince, as I see the irony of the situation.
10.1 - Sexual Education
I feel my human hormones flaring with the possessive desire of my vampire side. From the corner of my eye, I notice the strange man peeking at me. With a heavy sigh, I twist my head to stare out the window, not daring to meet the new student's amazing eyes.
"We're going to start the lesson with an experiment. Socializing. Unlike other organisms, humans socialize and use a complex psychophysiology to decide whether the male or female is a desirable mate. Courtship with animals can be as simple as dominating the others competing for the female. As for humans, it's a long, complex process that we will begin today," Mrs. Leaver pauses.
"The experiment I'm assigning you is to socialize with your partner. We're going to play out the sexual behavior of human beings throughout this lesson and the person sitting next you will be your mate. These experiments are not to encourage you all to have sex, but to help you better understand the lesson. Begin."
The class explodes in to conversation. Some turn to their friends in other parts of the room, others make conversation with their new partner. As I glance around, the few that participate in the assignment, show simple attraction and lean closer to the opposite sex. I, on the other hand, sit with my hands clenching on my lap
My head pounds, my throat going dry. I cannot believe this. Is this simply the wrath of a higher power or the sick twisted games of karma? I peek at my partner from the corner of my eye, feeling the warmth as my body overheats. He's facing me, the corner of his lip tilted up in a coy grin. Why is my heart racing so fast?
"Hi." he says.
His voice is even more soft on the ears than I thought. Like smooth silk, in the form of sound, I want to wrap myself up in his beautiful, deep tone. I withhold a shaky gasp as I meet his eyes. Staring at him full-on, I feel my resolve to dismiss him crumble. My gaze is immediately drawn to his full, pink lips.
"Hi." I squeak, my cheeks warming.
"So, Cullen is your last name. I'm interested in what your first name is."
My heart stutters in my chest, "Renesmee."
"That's a mouthful," The transfer student grins, scooting his chair closer to mine. My chest rises and falls, my head feeling light. I force myself to keep calm, but I don't understand my body's reactions.
"But it's unique and beautiful; fitting for a girl like you."
I blink a few times, breaking eye-contact like the scared little girl I am. Of all the schools I've been to in the last six years, I've never once had boys come on to me. Most people rarely spoke to any of my family members. I've always assumed that we were too intimidating for the students to approach, or perhaps, we exuded that air of danger that accompanies most vampires.
Regardless of the whys and how, I've never had someone outside of my family and Jacob call me beautiful. When they did, it never made me feel like, like this.
"Thanks… but, um, most people call me Nessie." I force the words from my mouth, my tongue powered by sheer willpower alone.
The man smirks, "I think you'll come to find I'm not like most people."
I stare at him, debating whether to ignore the comment or not, but I've already decided he's different. My instincts are still buzzing, feeling another vampire nearby. As I sit incredibly close to this guy, the buzz has intensified to a pounding, but as I look at him, he looks like a human, smells like a human, and acts like a human.
I consider maybe he could be like me, but as I listen for a heartbeat, I grow too distracted by the others in the room combined with the slight burn raking up my throat.
"What's your name?" I ask, my voice scratchy from lack of lubrication.
Those eyes reflect the sky on the clearest of days, gleaming with his secrets. Growing up around intuitive people, I've gained a natural knack for reading people and as I attempt to peek in to this man's world, I find a wall. Behind that wall, I can feel his natural rebellion, his desire to wreak havoc, his love for living life by throwing cares to the wind. He hides his emotions as if it's a learned profession. He's a whole new kind of dangerous, I realize, but as he licks his lips, I wonder if I'm willing to take a risk.
I'm not allowed to interact human boys on more than a casual level. My parents made that clear. It's for my own safety, but the boy in front of me somehow forces me to forget about limits and rules and safety. I just want to let go and dive in to his world of recklessness.
"Alec," he says, "Alec Mason."
Words cannot explain the things that rush through my mind. In a jumble of snipped thoughts and images, I remember that day out in the snow. I've tried so hard to forget what happened that day and all that happened. For the last six years, I thought I had. The man watches me, confused by the way I freeze. My heart practically freezes in my chest.
"Are you alright?" he asks, smiling sympathetically.
I swallow hard, nodding vigorously. The bell's shrill dismissal shakes me from my stupor. Alec doesn't move as the rest of the class pours out the door. Ana shimmies up to our table, her best smile spread across her lips. The power of her flirtation challenges the sun's rays as she leans close to the table.
Alec does his best to brush her off, but she eventually drags him in to conversation. I pack up my things, the image of the Volturi's guard in coats of black and grey in a horde across from our small army. They were smudges of hatred and jealousy in our private little world. I just wanted to be with my family and they tried to take that from us.
I glance to the man, our eyes meeting. I question whether he could be using some sort of gift to deceive me, but the Alec on the guard takes away the senses entirely rather than altering their perception. For a child meant to be half immortal, my memory of that day while clear, has muddied faces. I remember red, empty eyes; devoid of life with no concern for anything other than power.
As I read in to the little Alec reveals in his eyes, I decide this can't be one of the Volturi's disciples. He shows concern for the emotions that slip though me. I turn away, reassuring myself that the Volturi will not disturb us. They haven't since the snow stuck to the ground six years back and as long as we keep a low profile, we stay under their radar.
Ana sighs, frustrated the new student isn't interested in buying what she's selling. Her livid, cornflower-blue eyes conveying her annoyance as well as persistence to leave. Her pale skin seems to be tinged with red and I comply. Tossing my backpack over my shoulder, I round the desk and head for the door without a word to my partner.
Ana is by my side as we walk down the hall, fuming about how he blew her off with lame excuses of having to study and catch up since he transferred so late in the year. She rants about how she offered to help him study, but he told her he learns better on his own. Valid reasoning doesn't seem to register in the minds of humans. They take kind rejection as harsh and cold rather than thoughtful.
"... and I was so nice…" "… what a douche…" "… rot in hell…"
I catch snippets of her tantrum, my mind still swirling around the Volturi and the things I sensed in class. I consider whether or not to tell Carlisle and dad, but that can't end too well. They're first idea will be to scout the area, look for traces of nomads. They'll play it off as nothing serious before investigating Alec, considering he's the one I sensed it off of. When they find out about my attraction to him, the next step will be to pull me out of school and we'll move. Again.
This happened for the first two years of my high school career. I'd meet a handsome boy and develop a crush. Dad, before I developed my ability to deflect his gift, would hear it and inform the rest of our family. Next thing I knew, we left before I even spoke to the guy.
I can't let that happen. I tell myself.
Hiding something from my family is a first for me, but as Ana and I cross the parking lot to her PT Cruiser, I decide that lots of teenagers lie to their parents sometimes. They lie about all kinds of stuff, but I'm not really lying. I'm just not telling them about the new guy in my class. It's not a lie. Besides, what could happen?
We work in the local library well past dark. The smell of musty books, dusty computers, and the old librarian's perfume are our company as we put together a feature story on the evolution of journalism. My contribution was probably the largest of all, but I don't mind really. My work ethic is consistent, fast, and neat. I don't blame the humans for not keeping up.
Ana's group consists of two of her other friends; Dylan and Jack, twin brothers though they're hardly similar. While they share the same build, brown hair and hazel eyes, they're thought processes are polar opposites. They fought over ideas more than they actually worked, earning them multiple warnings from the librarian.
We finish up by eight and my phone is buzzing off the hook. My parents want to know why it's taken so long, begging to come pick me up, but Ana had promised me a ride home so I deny them the location though I'm sure they could track me within five minutes.
"I'm starving; let's get something to eat. Whose up for some red meat?" Jack grins, smacking his hands together.
Dylan grimaces at his brother, "And kill an innocent animal for our own selfish pleasure? Great idea, murderer."
And just like wildfire, their argument encompasses the entirety of their conversation. Ana sits by idly, deftly moving her manicured fingers across the screen of her iPhone with a small grin on her lips. Oil and water eventually cool off, but not before my phone buzzes once more. It's Jake this time.
Your parents seem worried. You okay?
I huff, quickly texting back with my excuses before the phone blinks with zero battery before shutting off. I squint, shocked the battery died so quickly. Ana is standing as I shove my phone in the back pocket of my jeans. She checks the diamond watch on her slim wrist before she glances at her friends, smirking at their annoyed expressions.
"Let's go for pizza." She offers.
Surprisingly, both boys agree. I jump to decline, knowing if I'm not home within the next half hour, I'm going to get an ear-full about curfew, responsibility, and how my phone should've been on.
"Ana, I need to get home. My parents are already texting me nonstop." I tell her.
She roll her eyes, flipping her artificially blonde waves over her shoulder with a tight smile. "I'll get you home after we eat. Tell them the project is taking a little while longer than planned; they'll buy it, I'm sure."
Shaking my head, I push my objection with conviction in my tone.
"I need to go now."
Shrugging, Ana and the guys walk out of the library. I go after them as she throws insincere apologies over her shoulder as they walk to her car. They drive off, leaving me stranded at the library. I groan, seeing how unreliable some people can be. I turn to go back in the building and call my parents from the libraries phone, but the lights shut off the moment I turn around.
"You've got to be kidding me." I mutter.
With a quick survey around the area, I realize that finding any useable phones in the area is highly unlikely. I hike my backpack up my shoulder and decide my best bet is to just walk home. I follow my internal sense of direction and the scents of the area to guide me through the streets. I know better than to walk in the woods alone at night, but are the dark, dirty streets of a small town any better?
When I hear multiple footfalls behind me, my heart races in my chest. My question of safety has been answered; neither are safe. I pick up my pace, debating whether or not to expose myself and just run away or stay undercover and wait for whoevers behind me to go on their merry way.
The whistles and catcalls throw a pit of ice in my stomach. Making a sharp turn, I plan to break in to a sprint, but my legs feel like lead. I don't want to risk my family's identity. Even if no humans would believe that a girl just vanished in to thin air, the Volturi would investigate the case and we would be face-to-face with death again. I breathe heavy, my hands shaking as they clench and unclench. The alleyway I choose was not a comforting one as the men, I assume five, close in on me. I keep a steady pace that increases when theirs does. As the alley opens up, I feel relief and hope shine through the clouds of my panic until I realize it's a dead end basketball court.
Two walls wrap around one end while the other opens up in to the woods, but is closed in by a chain-link fence reaching over ten-feet high. I can't scale that without exposing myself. I run through my options and realize I have none. I keep walking, staying close to fence with hopes of finding a nonexistent weak spot.
The men appear to be thugs. Dressed in shreds of dirty clothes and mean faces decorated in scars. One holds a small pocket-knife, another tips a paper bag up to his lips. I swallow hard, analyzing each one of them. They're souls, shown through their eyes and body language, reveals their wrongdoings. They plan to abuse and kill me like they've done before.
I'm stronger than them, I could fight them off if I tried, but the risks. My life is so important. People were willing to die for me and this is how it ends? That can't be right. It isn't right. At the cost of my family's lives, however, I see where it all makes sense. The thugs close in around me. I'm cornered and shivering, like a caged puppy.
They murmur to each other, commenting on my looks and chastity. I can't hear them though. My ears are clogged with fear and panic. My vampire-side has seemed to disintegrate in my time of need to protect the ones I love at the cost of my life. I say my silent goodbyes as the tears form in my eyes.
Though they never escape as the men begin screaming.
I look up to see them rubbing their eyes, pinching themselves and blubbering on the ground as they claw at their ears. Cries of deafness and blindness echo off the walls of the buildings as the men fall to the ground in terror.
Adrenaline, excited and jittery, pulses through my veins. I don't waste a moment of their distraction as I race up the side of the fence, scaling it with ease before taking off in to the woods. My head buzzes with millions of questions I don't have time to dwell on as I eat up the miles between myself and the safety of my family.
Just as I begin to relax, my pace slowing, I crash in to something. I fall back on my bottom with a grunt, sitting up only to meet crimson eyes. My heart sinks, but before I get a good look at the vampire, they've vanished. Not wanting to be caught in another life or death situation, I flee from the area. My legs flex and race with a fluid ease as I pump my arms, pushing my heart to the limit.
Familiar trees and scents envelope me as I arrive at outskirts of my house nestled in the deep woods. Similar to our property in Washington, the floor-to-ceiling windows are all lit with pacing figures awaiting my return. I pause before stepping out of the darkness. It takes a lot of energy to deflect gifts, but I've learned that's what my ability is meant to do. My mind only shows what I want and when I want.
With a sigh, I emerge from the brush. My mind is on a slim lock-down, hiding tonight's events and replacing them with faulty ones of walking home without a problem. I enter the threshold of the backdoor and am instantly bombarded with questions. My father listens intently to my thoughts, visibly relaxing at what he discovers.
"The project ran late and they wanted to go for dinner, but I needed to get home. My phone died before I left so I couldn't call. I'm sorry." I explain calmly and rationally like I've been raised to do.
I'm forgiven and let off with warning, a considerable smack on the wrists. After eating the dinner Esme made especially for me, I climb up to my bedroom in the farthest corner of the house. My family leaves to hunt, now that they can rest easily without worrying about me. I watch them go from my balcony as they disappear in to the tall trees. I return to my room, locking the doors to the terrace.
Once I've showered, I brush any tangles from my hair as I prepare for bed. My mind revolves around Alec and the pair of red eyes I saw in the woods. Could it have been my imagination or was someone really there?
I consider the possibility of the adrenaline and fear combining to create something that wasn't really there . I could have tripped. I probably tripped. I close out that debate with a tree root I wasn't expecting attacking me, causing the fall and the rush of emotions gave me a bit of whiplash, causing the red eyes that weren't really there.
Once that's settled, my mind shifts to Alec. I wonder about where he came from, why he left, and what about him interests me so much. The one thing that never leaves my thoughts though, is his eyes. Their reflective nature; the way they so carefully show what needs to be seen, but hide the real depth of what he feels. He's an expressive character that's been hidden for so long, he's forgotten what it's like to be true; to show someone his exposed self.
I let out a breath, shaking my head at the corrupt thoughts in my mind. "You don't know him, you don't want to know him, and you will never know him." I tell myself, hating the way it physically hurts me to force it from my lips.
I look up in to the mirror, meeting the plain, brown eyes of my reflection. The human-like face stares me down. I wish I could be more like my family. If I were a vampire, I wouldn't have needed a ride home or had to escape the clutches of human cruelty. My family wouldn't have been worried. Being half-human is ruining me. It keeps me fragile and weak. It prevents me from making my own decisions. It's morphed me in to an impressionable, scared child. I bend at my parents will. All I want is other people's happiness. It's unfair.
It's weak.
Dropping the brush on the vanity table, I stand and cross the distance to my bed. Annoyance pulses through me, but I dismiss it as quickly as I can. I'm exhausted from today's emotional exertion. Beneath the warm, soft layers of blankets, I find solace.
As I drift off in to my dreams where I meet those eyes that mirror the azure sky, but they dull. They reveal their inner turmoil, the agony they face every day before turning a vibrant crimson. In a state of grogginess, I stir mid-dream to see Alec in my room. He sits on the edge of my bed, a sadness in his eyes as they flicker between the kind, beautiful blue and the pained, disturbed red.
"Renesmee," he whispers.
I shoot up in bed, my body on high alert only to find my room empty. My breath is shallow, my skin matted in sweat as my nightgown clings to my body. I sigh, laying back in bed and throwing an arm over my eyes. I mentally scold myself for dreaming about him, the stupidity of it is endless.
The draft tickles my skin and I reluctantly stand from my bed to shut the balcony doors. The moment the door clicks in to place, I freeze with my palm firmly placed on the mahogany. I stare at the lock, remembering how I locked the door before my shower, but then again, maybe I didn't. I silently move away from the door, my hand at my chest. I rack my brain for the distinct memory of turning the little knob on the door handle. I rest on the mattress, my eyes concentrating on the ceiling as one question replays through my mind.
Was it a dream?
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Till next time, thanks for reading!