AN: If you're reading this, you will learn what I really think about Stephanie's actions in Explosive Eighteen. I didn't mind seventeen; actually I thought 'Hooray! She's finally changing this endless triangle shit… then along came eighteen… AAARRRGGGHHH! Anyway, this is how I think it could (should?) have gone down after that. WARNING: this is HIGH ANGST – if you don't like angst, probably best not to read it. But I am planning an eventual Babe HEA…
Disclaimer: Story told from Stephanie's POV. I own nothing, just playing with JE's world.

Chapter 1.

I was dozing on the sofa around 10pm in front of a Criminal Minds rerun when there was a knock on the door.

Wait, who knocks on my door? Joe has a key, and Ranger just breaks in. Everyone else just breaks in as well. Oh god, I hope it's not my grandma! I had had a shitty week with one of my skips dumping cooking oil on me while trying to escape and, yesterday, my latest POS lost all four wheels when I parked on Stark to go after another skip. The last thing I wanted was grandma coming to stay with me.

I looked through the peephole – Joe. Huh? I opened the door. "Why did you knock, why not just let yourself in?"

"Umm, I didn't know if you were home, couldn't see your car in the lot."

"My car was stripped on Stark Street yesterday. Some helpful local mechanics decided to give me an all-wheel rotation and got distracted half-way through." I joked. He didn't smile. I looked at him, he seemed nervous and fidgety. "What's up?"

"Oh. Just haven't seen you in a while."

True, when I thought about it, it have been nearly a month since I last saw Joe, at least more than in passing at the cop shop. Even longer since he called me for a 'Bob misses you' call. Huh. Weird. I just realised we hadn't really been together in more than six weeks. Joe usually didn't have that much restraint, I guess things had been busy at work. Maybe he'd been on a case. Was that why he seemed all hyped up?

"You seem… I don't know, stressed or something. What's wrong?"

He sighed. "I need to talk to you. I've been putting it off, trying to avoid it, but time has kind of run out."

He was sweating and kind of mumbling, not looking at me. This sounded pretty bad. When I looked closer, Joe looked really tired, and thinner too. There were bags under his eyes and he was shifting constantly on the sofa. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my own nerves. "OK, just go for it. Rip the Band-Aid off quick."

Joe tried to smile, but it was more like a grimace. "Here goes. Well, when we got back from Hawaii, I was… really mad. I mean, I know we talked about seeing other people and it's not like I didn't know you had something with Manoso, but that whole thing was such a clusterfuck and I had concussion and a broken nose and I was just really hurt and mad. I didn't know what I wanted anymore, didn't even know if I could be with you anymore."

"Joe, I, I…" I stammered.

"Please Steph, I didn't come here to hash it over again, well… not exactly. But I was really upset and I, well, one night a couple of days after we got home, I went out to a bar, drinking. I was just sitting there, drowning my sorrows, and Terri came up to me. She'd been at the bar meeting a contact of her uncle's and saw me. Anyway, I bought her a drink, then another drink, and I was kind of drunk already, and the next thing I know I woke up next morning in bed with her. I swear it was the only time while we were together, but well, it happened."

I drew in another deep breath. I wasn't sure he was telling the truth that it was the only time. I had wondered, more than once, even when Ranger and I had been together… and this was months ago, why was this coming up now? Was he telling me about this one time because he felt like he had had an excuse?

I wanted to go completely rhino, but I knew that was totally hypocritical, given what he had walked into in Hawaii. I took a few deep breaths to try and get some perspective.

"OK Joe, I can't say that doesn't hurt, and it makes me really mad too, but under the circumstances, I can see how it could have happened. Why didn't you tell me about it before, though?"

"Well, I just wanted to forget it. I was totally hung over, and felt like shit, so I just told Terri goodbye and went home. Slept for 12 hours straight, and got on with things. A couple of weeks later, you and I got back together, and I kind of just put it out of my mind."

Put it out of his mind! Seriously? I drew in calming breath and tried to tell myself that I had been with Ranger before and after Hawaii, and hadn't told Joe about it. Don't be a hypocrite, Stephanie.

"So why tell me now?"

"OK, so here's the thing… Umm, Terri's pregnant" he mumbled.

I felt my body go numb, and time stopped. "Pregnant?"

"Yes, seventeen weeks. It's a little girl, we found out a couple weeks ago at the ultrasound."

"Seventeen weeks?" I couldn't seem to stop repeating him.

"And, well, we're both Catholic, and we didn't want to... you know, and so, well, we're gonna keep her."

I felt like I couldn't breathe. "You're going to keep the baby? Together?"

"Yes. I'm so sorry Steph, but I really want this baby, and well, Terri and I have been talking a lot and we've decided to really try and make a go of this together. Like a family. We're not gonna stay here in Trenton, it would be too fucked up for you, and for work, and Terri's uncle would go apeshit, and my career would be over, so we're gonna move.

My second cousin on my mom's side lives in Detroit, he's a lawyer up there, and he's got some connections. He reckons he can put in a word for me to get a job with the Detroit PD. Terri's gonna try and sever ties with the Family, and we're gonna get married and try and make it work for real, a family, you know?"

I could feel the rage sweeping up my body like a tidal wave. "How long have you been planning this?"

"A few weeks I guess. I gave my notice at TPD nearly a month ago, but my boss agreed to keep it quiet as a favour to me.

Terri came to me seven weeks ago or so and told me. She couldn't decide if she was going to tell me, but she thought I deserved to know. We started talking, ended up talking all night and then I went with her to her appointment at the OB. Once I heard the baby's heartbeat, well, that was it for me. I knew I had to do right by her. And by Terri. So we started thinking about what we could do, and making plans."

"Seven weeks! And you've been planning your getaway for weeks! Why am I hearing about this ONLY NOW?! We were supposed to be in a relationship, for fuck's sake!" I screamed at him. He just sat there with his head hung and said nothing. At least now I knew why he hadn't been around. If he'd slept with me after finding out about this, I think I would have got my gun out of the cookie jar. I was pretty sure I had at least one bullet, and I could make sure he didn't father any more kids.

"So when are you leaving?"

"Four days," he sighed sadly. "We haven't told anyone, we've just been making our plans, and then we plan to tell everyone in our families and just go, straight away. Avoid the nuclear fallout."

"FOUR DAYS! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!"

I stood up and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door. I sat on the closed toilet, feeling the tears starting to leak down my face. I hugged my arms around my middle and felt my control break, as I sobbed, big, whole-body, gulping sobs. I had never felt so betrayed, so totally screwed over, even after finding the dick with the skank on my dining table.

I didn't know how long I sat there sobbing, but eventually, the sobs subsided to hiccups. I used a couple of wads of toilet paper to blow my nose, and got up to wash my hands and face at the basin. I looked like hell, swollen, red-rimmed eyes, a red nose, and hair like a frizz-bomb had gone off. A few deep breaths and I walked back out to the living room.

And he'd gone.

No note. No goodbye. No apology.

Just gone.

CHICKENSHIT!

I walked back into my bedroom and threw myself on my bed and cried myself to sleep. Yup, things could be worse than having my grandma at my door.