Shitscale the Brave
It was all over. I was finally through those wretched sewers and away from the dickbag 'Blades'. At least the idiots had trusted me with the Amulet of Kings. The second I get to a town, I'm going to sell that piece of shit, I thought. I was an average height Argonian with brown scales and a musky odor that resembled dead skunk ass and day old Khajiit genitals. I wasn't a very social Argonian and I definitely wasn't an attractive one either, so making friends was always hard for me. I always had to take what I wanted; I was never given anything. That's why I was in prison in the first place. I had taken a woman's child to pleasure himself. After I was done with the child, the guards burst in and beat me upside the head with a morning star, leaving several deep craters in the my cranium, not to mention severe brain damage. In the court trial, my attourney had told him to admit to the crime so that my sentence would be lessened. It didn't work at all and I was sentenced to a life in prison as well as daily beating from the guards just because I was an Argonian. On top of that punishment, that disgusting Dark Elf that lived across from me raped me any time that I acutally took a shower, which was twice the entire 6 years I was there. Thank Azura that the emperor was a senile old fuck and thought I was part of some prophecy. If he had taken 5 seconds to look at the prisoner log sheets, he would have seen that I was a low-life convicted child molestor and serial killer. Now I was a free lizard, and I had some stupid necklace that might actually fetch a good price. I opened my map to see where I should head next. I was extremely close to the Imperial City, which wasn't good, considering that someone was bound to recognize me and then I'd be killed for breaking out, even thought it wasn't my fault. So the next closest town was a small village in the mountains called "Bruma". Normally an Argonian wouldn't want to live in the mountains because of the cold weather and lack of swamp beasts to eat for nutrition, but I didn't exactly have a choice. I set out with my dagger in hand, towards Bruma. The first thing I saw along the way, were some ruins, so I decided to take a look around and saw a bandit trying to shoot and apple off of a crate. Mmm that apple looks pretty tasty I thought, drooling Argonian slober all over my prison attire. I came up with a genius plan to sneak up and grab the apple for dinner. I set my plan into action by throwing a large rock into the water nearby, then making a run for the apple, hoping the bandit was distracted. Turns out he wasn't and he immediately shot me right through my rib cage. I screamed in pain but managed to grab the apple. Then I ran like the wind into the nearby ruins closing the door on the bandit and sealing myself inside. I knew that I had to pull this arrow out because it was dripping with poison. Damn he must have seen me before I threw that rock if he managed to poison his arrow! I thought. I grabbed the arrow and yanked as hard as I could. The arrow came out along with a random organ. Panicking, I shoved the organ into my mouth and swallowed, hoping it would find it's way back to it's rightful place. Then I looked down at my prize in amazement. It was a small shriveled up red apple, half rotting and festering with worms and various other bugs. This is better than I thought! I ate the perfect apple in one bite, and began looking for a way out of the ruins. I saw a crack in the ruins on the far side of the room and squeezed my way out. I felt extremely weak thanks to the poison on the arrow, but that nutrition-packed apple seemed to help. After many cuts and scrapes later, I was finally out. The second I got out, I felt a sharp pain in my back and realized the bandit was waiting for me! I whipped out my dagger, turned around, threw it as hard as I could... and missed horribly. I'm fucked! Then just as the bandits was about to shoot another arrow into my head, he dropped dead. I couldn't figure out what had happened until an attractive man on a horse road up and dismounted. The heroic man-beast walked up to me and shook my hand saying, "Hi. My name is Ongar the World Weary! I see you got some hot property..." He was pointing at the Amulet of Kings.
"Would you be interested in buying it?" I asked him.
"Depends on where you got it." he replied in a flirtatious voice.
"I got it from the Emperor. He was killed by assassins and the idiot seemed to think I was some 'chosen hero' and gave it to me before he died. I was going to sell it when I got to Bruma." I explained.
"Well it's a good thing you found me first. Normally you'd be executed if you were found with that in your possesion. But I'm used to dealing in hot propery, so I might be able to pull some strings." Ongar told me.
"How much do you think it's worth?" I asked the mysterious man.
"Why don't you come back to my place so we can discuss a price?" Ongar said while winking at me.
At this point I had a massive, scaly erection and I'm sure Ongar could see. He just hopped on his horse and invited me on. I hopped up with him and was sure he could feel my 8 inch Argonian cock poking into his back. We rode through a forest and up a mountain for about 4 hours before we reached Bruma. Bruma was a small city compared to the others, but that doesn't mean that it isn't big. Compared to the ass-shacks that people in Black Marsh considered a 'city' this was amazing. As we came through the front gates, I tried to hide my face from the guards, hoping that they wouldn't recognize me. Luckily we made it though without any confrontation and began making our way to Ongar's house. His house could only be described in one way: shit shack. It reminded me a lot of Black Marsh, from it's size, to the material, to the smell of ass and dead things coming from the front door. It was beautiful. Ongar took me inside and asked to see the amulet. I handed it to him and he began studying it closely. After a couple of minutes, Ongar told me that he could give me 25 gold for it.
"WHAT! ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?" I screamed at him. "This is the fucking Amulet of Kings!"
"You didn't let me finish... I'll give you 25 gold and you get to have sex with me." Ongar said while pulling down his pants to expose his 9 inch fleshy Nord chode. I had to think about this. On one hand I had 25 gold and good Nord sex. On the other, was about 150,000 gold.
"I'll take the 25 gold and sex." I told him as I dropped my own pants to reveal my scaly suprise. Ongar grabbed my dick with his hands and began sucking until he was satisfied.
"That's good cock!" he told me. Then we both stripped down and moved to his bed. I stuck my dick in Ongar's ass and came 5 seconds later.
"Well so much for the amazing Nord sex..." I muttered while handing the amulet to Ongar.
"Thanks." he said while handing me a bag with 25 gold in it. After that, Ongar kicked me out of his house and called the guards. I quickly slipped a lockpick up my ass, knowing what was about to happen. One of the guards came running and bashed me in the head with another morning star...
I woke up to the sound of a man having sex. I looked up and saw a well built man making love to a breadloaf. "Hello?" I said. He looked up from his loaf and looked me dead in the eye.
"Hey. We got one rule in here and one rule only: Don't touch my loaf." he said in a very serious voice.
"Okay." I replied. I looked around my cell and saw that it had two crates, a barrel, and two bedmats. I got up and looked out the bars to see a completely unguarded room. "Hey do they have any guards in here?" I asked.
"Not normally, no. Hey what's your name? Mine's Journdr." he said in a friendly tone.
"My name is Shitscale the Brave." I replied.
"That name is fucking disgusting." he told me.
"I was named after my father, and my father's father." I said, insulted.
"I don't give a fuck." he said, getting back to his loaf. This guy is awesome! I thought to myself. Wait a minute! My lockpick! I then shoved my hand up my ass and pulled out a lockpick.
"Nice!" said Journdr.
"We're breaking out of here." I quickly told him. Then I got into position and picked the lock on the door, thus breaking us out. Once out me and Journdr tried to find some weapons to defend ourselves. I found an iron mace and Journdr found an iron bow and some arrows. We headed through the first door and found a guard sleeping on the job. I nodded at Journdr and he began trying to have sex with the guards mouth. "That's not what I meant!" I yelled at him, then beat the guard in the head until he died. I saw a chest and picked the lock and found an iron dildo and my 25 gold.
"That's where they put that baby," said Journdr, slipping the dildo into an unseen pocket. We then silently opened the next door and saw about 30 sleeping guards. After we snuck past them we made our way out of the dungeon and into the main chamber of the castle. I looked to the left and saw the exit to the castle. "Let's go," Journdr whispered. We moved out of the shadows and began hugging the wall until we saw two guards having a conversation.
"You shoot one and I'll attack the other," I whispered to Journdr. Journdr fired an arrow directly into the guards skull, killing him. I charged out with my mace, catching the guard off-guard and beat his skull to a bloody pulp. "Let's go!" I called to my new friend. Once out, Journdr told me he had some business to take care of, and headed off towards the inn. I instead began making my way to Ongar's house: I had a score to settle.