A Figment of My Imagination

by

XxTheLadyInRedxX

A.N. Hey guys! I haven't written in a long time and I just thought I'd start doing it again. I'm planning on updating "A Recipe For Disaster" so those of you who awaited the next chapters, keep your eyes open! Sorry it took me so long, but I am finally back. Here's something for you guys to keep you busy till i upload. It's a oneshot, but if enough people review for it, I might continue with more chapters. So please, read and review. I hope you like it.

-x-x-x-

Sometimes I feel like he's still here, like he never even left, like it was all in my head. Because he always said he'd drive me mad one day...

Sometimes I hear his barking laughter traveling through my flat, "And so we dared James to run into Lily's room, pull out his wand and say, 'Khello. My name is James Potter. You have stolen my heart, and I am prepared to die.' After which, of course, she sent her copy of the book to beat him over the head to do the job.'

Sometimes I still smell his cologne, or maybe that s because I still sleep with his shirt on. I can't find the strength to put it away.

But the worst part is, sometimes, I even see him - walking in my living room. And I can't bare to watch him disappear in front of me.

Sometimes I get all teary eyed and happy, that maybe he's back, that he found a way. And I get my hopes up and I want to embrace him and I kiss him like I meant to do that day -

-x-x-x-

"Sirius! Don t you dare go after him!"

"He's going to kill him, I can t just sit here and do nothing!" he yelled as he grabbed his wand.

"Dumbledore will take care of it, please, they have it all in order, don't go," she cried.

"And what if they don't? How are you certain he will be safe?" he snapped back as he turned around.

"He wouldn't let anything harm Harry," she pleaded.

"Well, I won't either," he whispered.

"Sirius, I watched you leave 15 years ago and I thought you'd never come back. And now that you have, I can't bare to lose you again. Please, I am begging you, don't go, don't do this."

"I can't - I'm sorry-"

"Why not!"

"I can't let James die!"

His eyes widening, she watched him with an expression of sympathy.

"Oh, Sirius-"

"Rose, I let my best friend go - and I didn't even have a chance to save him. If I let his only son die - without having that chance - I will never be able to look at myself again."

"I love you too much to watch you walk away."

"If you loved me at all, you'd try to understand."

"I do understand! I understand why! I understand everything! I just don't understand how you could put me through this!"

Walking closer to her, his hands touched her tear-stricken cheeks, and caressed them.

"Because, if I let my only godson die without even trying to save him - how will I know that I'll ever be able to protect you the way you should be protected."

"You re killing me..."

"Please - I love you, Rose."

And with a last glance, he walked out the door.

-x-x-x-

An abrupt knock at the door pulled me out of my memory as I went to answer it.

"Who is it?"

No answer.

"Hello? Who's there?"

Still no answer.

Slightly opening the door, I felt my heart drop as I saw him watching me.

"You re back," I whispered, tears in my eyes.

"Rose," he whispered with a smile.

I tried to steady my breathing as I let him in.

"How long are you staying this time?" I asked, but he didn t answer. He never did. He just looked at me like he wished he was really there.

"How are you?" he asked after a few moments of silence.

"Sirius -"

"I'm sorry, Rose. I m sorry for everything. I wish I could take it all back and save you from this," he said his regular speech. The one he'd recite during every visit.

I was quiet. I didn't want to react. I didn't want to think. I just wished he would stay here forever. So I just watched as his eyes gazed upon me, a pleading look on his face, and I cried.

"Why are you here?" I sobbed. "Why can't you stay?"

"I love you, Rose," he whispered.

"NO!" I shouted, raising up from my seat. I knew what would happen now, it always did, after he said those three words. "Don't you dare leave me!"

And with a last glance, he turned around and walked through the door. Sliding to the floor, I put my head in my hands, and felt the warm tears stain my cheeks. This - this was just a routine.

See, sometimes I imagine him.

Sometimes, I wish he's really there.

Sometimes, I close my eyes and pretend that he actually is.

But at the end of the day, I always seem to know...

He's just a figment of my imagination.

-x-x-x-

A.N. Woo! The end of the chapter! Tell me what you think.