I can't walk, so how can I run?
Summary: Begins after Elsa confronts Maria at the party, but Maria doesn't leave the Villa. Instead she finds solace down by the lake. But when a storm blows up Maria has an accident that may change everything. Will the Captain see her and his situation with Elsa differently…and will Maria walk again?
**DISCLAIMER: I own no characters or basic story plot of The Sound Of Music**
CHAPTER 1: Brewing storm, impending fate
Maria stood in her room after watching Elsa walk out her bedroom door, with her words continuously replaying over and over in her mind…"There's nothing more irresistible to a man than a woman who's in love with him"-"The funny thing is he thinks he's in love with you too"*. Maria couldn't move, blink or make a sound, she barely remembered to breathe. 'Could it be true?...NO! How could I be so foolish to even consider…but then there have been times when we have looked, no gazed at each other and it was easy to believe then that he might have some feelings towards me.' Maria knew she had to move, to think, to inhale (she realised she was holding her breath), so she went to the place that had given her so much solace since she had arrived at the Von Trapp Villa.
As Maria made her way out the back doors of the Villa and onto the back patio she took in a deep cleansing breath and looked out onto 'her' mountain in the distance, shrouded by the golden sunset and the impending star lit night. She was surprised it was still so warm out and vaguely wondered if it may storm later, but the thought was dropped as quickly as it was picked up when she saw the glowing reflection of the sunset on the lake. This is where Maria was headed to clear her mind…and heart.
She slowly made her way down the back steps of the Villa and along the path that led to the iron gates at the small pier of the private lake. The row boat the children and she had fallen out of on that fateful day was moored to the lakes bank, bobbing calmly in the small current that was lapping the shore. Maria reflected back on that afternoon as she pushed open the gates and sat on the step leading down into the water.
She remembered the fun the children had had, and the joyous looks on their faces when they saw their father after so many weeks away, only to quickly return to their military like persona and posture once the Captain blew his silly whistle.
Maria remembered the way her heart fell in her chest watching this sudden transformation in the seven children, but most of all she remembered the look of anger on their fathers face and the argument that ensued once the children had been dismissed.
'How could it be true that he loves me if he could so easily have talked to me that way?' But then Maria remembered the kind and gentle way he had approached her when he acknowledged his mistakes and behaviours in not knowing his children, and he asked her to stay.
Maria sat unthinking for a few moments just to give her overly worrying mind and soul some peace so that she could begin to think about how she was going to approach the situation. Maria knew she had strong feelings for the Captain, but she knew that she could never act upon these...'Or can I?' She sighed in despair.
In the background Maria could hear the party was still in full swing, and she knew that dinner would start to be served soon, but she just couldn't face going back in and sitting with all those upper class boars…she wasn't part of that world.
As she listened Maria was sure she heard the distant sound of thunder rolling across the mountains. 'Well looks like I'll be sharing my bed with seven little bodies tonight' she thought, as she remembered the last time a storm had raged around the Villa at night. 'Only this time I'll be sure not to sing too loudly, so as not to be caught out of bed past the children's bedtime'. Maria gave a little snicker at the thought of that night and the impending argument that followed only a week later, with Maria telling the Captain it was unacceptable to expect the older three children to go to bed at the same time as the younger ones, with Maria winning in the end.
"Liesl is not a child anymore, she's practically a woman! And Friedrich and Louisa are not far behind. You need to give them the chance to grow into adults, which means starting with not treating them like children anymore!"
Maria had endured more nights than she could handle of complaints from the older children regarding their having to go to bed at the same time as their younger siblings, and Maria fully agreed. She promised the children that this would be the last night they would have to suffer this madness, as she was going to go speak with their Father as soon as she had tucked the little ones into bed. Maria received smiles all round from the children as they kissed their Governess on the cheek goodnight.
As Marta finally drifted off to sleep (she was the one that always tried to stay awake to hear the end of the same fairytale every night), Maria snuck across the room, switched off the light and gently closed the door behind her. As she walked down the hallway, she walked with a purpose in her stride; the purpose of seeking out her employer to give him a piece of her mind, which she had done more frequently in the past weeks. When she found him he was sitting in his study with his feet resting on his desk. She couldn't help but notice the weathered look on his face, the tiredness in his shoulders and the sadness to his eyes. He had loosened his tie and had undone the first two buttons of his shirt…'Stop staring Maria!' she chastised herself. As she knocked and entered his office the argument had ensued. Although Maria won this round (again), she couldn't help but feel bad for provoking an argument when he was clearly so deep in thought and possibly worrying about something else.
Maria put a halt to this memory as she knew where her thoughts and feelings had led her dreams that night. 'Why oh why did I have to fall in love with a man who a) is well above my station, b) is already practically engaged, and c) could never possibly fall in love with me. I mean I'm a dirt poor, farm girl who is preparing to become a nun for goodness sakes!'
Maria realised in that moment when she thought of becoming a nun a very heavy feeling seemed to drop into the pit of her stomach, and she began to realise she may no longer want to fulfil that dream, but rather pursue a new path.
As though God were listening and seeking her out, a gust of wind blew nearly knocking her sideways, and then the heavens opened up and unleashed a storm, in what seemed to be right on top of the Villa. Without even a single drop for warning the rain immediately started pelting down on top of Maria where she sat on the step by the lake and instantly soaked her through. As she jumped up to run up the steps to the shelter of the back patio, Maria's shoes slipped on the already wet and slick steps. She was too slow in grabbing the iron gate to prevent her from completely falling and her feet flew right out from underneath her.
'Not in the lake, please Lord' was all Maria could think as she felt herself falling through mid-air. Maria did avoid falling into the lake, but she did not avoid the sharp edge of the step as her back collided with the ground. She instantly felt a sharp pain jolt through her body and cried out. As she lay there trying to regain her senses through the pain, the rain kept plummeting down like Gods way of punishing her for her recent thoughts and feelings. It was only when Maria built up her courage to push past the pain and try to stand herself upright that she realised she had no control over the use of her legs. Maria tentatively leant forward, causing pain to shoot through her small body, and reached out and touched her right leg. She felt nothing.
To be continued…
*Direct quote from the 1965 version of The Sound of Music