"I don't know why I stay." She whispers in the depths of her mind, scared to even let herself hear.
XxxxxxxxX
She sleeps on her bed, waiting for sleep to attack her senses, making her mind vulnerable to the puppet strings of dreams. But she knows it will never come. She is forever stuck, suspended in the universe—cursed to go through life, never changing, dead. And after all this time, she still has not come to terms with herself. Hatred and self-loathing curse through her uncirculating veins, threatening to drown her in her own sorrow. (Not that she could actually die.)
Why did this happen to me? She says to herself. She no longer cares who hears her. Apathy claims her mind, leaving a frozen shell of loneliness behind. Because that's what she is. Frozen.
And sometimes she doesn't understand how this happened to her at all. She just wishes she could have died instead. Maybe that would have been better (for everybody). Why was she chosen for this dreary existence? If she had died earlier, nobody would have to watch her soul deteriorate in front of their eyes. That's why she moved away. She wanted to spare her loved ones from seeing this, from seeing her. (It wouldn't be fair to them. She wouldn't allow it. So isolation was the next best thing.)
She hears the hardwood floors creak under the weight of a body. The corners of her lips twitch up in a tired, strained smile, threatening to break her fragile looking face.
She feels him walk towards her, feels the shift on the bed, feels the heavy arm drape tenderly over her waist, feels his unneeded breaths dance on her bare shoulder, feels him whisper the I love you and the You're beautiful. She shifts closer to him and smells the aroma that she fell in love with so long ago. The couple lay there, getting lost in where she ends and he begins. Years past, and still they lay there, not letting go, in fear of losing each other forever. She can almost feel her eyes fill up with the promises of unshed tears.
"Oh my Rose, why have you given up?" he says so softly, her ears are strained even with her enhanced hearing. Her breath hitches, stuck in the back of her throat. Her entire being tenses while she tries to assemble an answer. No matter how hard she tries, she cannot come up with a reason. (Perhaps, she just doesn't have one.)
Finally, she turns to face him and stares into the melted gold in his eyes. For a moment, she allows herself to get lost in them. Her pale petite hand reached up to stroke his perfect face, frozen with innocence. "Sometimes, the hardest thing to do in life is live."
His sparkling eyes dull with sorrow. He cups her face and brushes his soft lips against hers, hoping that maybe, just maybe, she'll feel something—anything. He kisses her again on her forehead and closes his eyes. "Please Rose, just don't leave me." His voice cracks and trembles, showing the scared boy inside a man's body.
"I won't leave you, Emmett. I promise." And so they lay there, curled in each other's arms, in hopes of finally living.
XxxxxxxxX
"He's the reason I don't leave," she answers, finally admitting it to herself.
Yeah I hope you enjoyed that. It was kinda depressing and I wrote it really fast. I just wanted to get it out there. And it was barely edited. Cause, you know, I'm a slacker. Feel free to criticize and compliment.