Disclaimer: I don't Teen Titans.

A/N:

This is a gift/request by Mellowtopian. This is supposed to be in the context of my other story "Northern Star," but you don't have to have read that to read this. All you need to know is that Robin/Dick is Slade's apprentice. And trust me: this is not slash.

This is the result of us coming up with stupid ideas at 2am.

-SW-

Jump City, California

Slade's Haunt

Slade sat on his metal throne in the main room of his haunt, contemplating on the day's work. True, his apprentice was much faster than he had hoped, but there was so much more Slade could teach him. The only thing hindering Dick's progress was his great reluctance to learn from Slade. His performance, while admirable, were not completely up to Slade's standards.

His fighting skills are progressing fine, Slade thought. His robotics skills have been improving. I suppose that his social skills need work.

Of course Dick's social skills needed some work. Slade kept the kid locked up when Slade wasn't sending him out on missions. Wintergreen told him that Dick would slowly go insane if he didn't have someone else to talk to besides Slade.

A sudden thought crossed Slade's mind.

"Dick!" Slade shouted. "Get over here."

A few seconds later Slade heard Dick stomping down the hallway. Slade casually at the time. It was getting late. Dick was probably tired from today's training and irritated. Well, the kid was irritated all of the time. Besides, Slade hardly ever bothered him after he dismissed him for the day. Slade mentally prepared himself for the kid's backtalk. Dick slouched into the room.

"God, what do you want now?"

Did he have to be so whiny? Slade glanced over at his apprentice. Dick was dressed in a black sweatshirt and looked grumpy. He looked as though he just dragged himself out of bed. His hair stuck out at odd angles and fell over his tired eyes.

"Stand up straight and don't talk to me like that," Slade said.

"Like what?"

"Like a brat."

"I agreed to work for you, but not to give you any respect."

He was always trying Slade's patience, wasn't he? Manners were another thing that Dick would have to work on. Slade's patience with Dick's backtalk varied from day-to-day. While he sometimes admired Dick's truculent attitude it wouldn't do to have a disobedient apprentice.

"I'll deal with your insolence later. I didn't call you here to lecture you." Slade gestured at Dick's sweatshirt. "Change into something nicer than that sweatshirt."

"Why?"

"Because we're going out tonight."

"Doing what, exactly?

"Does that matter? Shut up and do what I say."

Dick scowled. Slade wasn't quite sure how Dick was going to take this once Slade revealed his true intentions. Although Dick hadn't laughed once since coming here Slade felt as though this just might make him laugh. Dick didn't move.

"Would you rather sit in your room and stare at the wall?"

"…"

Dick stared at him for a couple of seconds before turning around, a scowl on his face as he headed back towards his room. Slade smirked.

"That's what I thought," he said, raising his voice so that Dick could hear him.

-DG-

Jump City, California

A Bar

Dick fidgeted uneasily in his seat. He had no idea what the crap Slade wanted him to do tonight, especially since both of them were unmasked and in a bar. Slade had said nothing to him all the way there. For a few minutes they sat there in silence. What were they here to do? Probably doing something undercover.

"So why are we in a bar, Slade?"

Once he said that Dick knew that Slade had been waiting for him to ask. Slade turned in his seat to look at him. Then, in a very serious tone, Slade spoke.

"We're going to pick up chicks."

Dick didn't even pretend to hide his surprise. That was the reason Slade dragged him out here?

"Why?"

"Why not?"

Dick was silent. The last thing he ever expected to do with Slade was pick up chicks. Bruce wouldn't even…well, then again, Slade wasn't Bruce.

"Well, it's just that…"

He didn't know what to say.

"I'm going to teach you to use your good looks to your advantage," Slade said, "It's serious business. You never know when you're going to have to seduce a woman in our profession."

"It's your profession and not mine."

"You're my apprentice."

"Involuntarily."

"Call it indentured servitude, then."

"But unlike an indentured servant I'm unable to earn my freedom."

"Why don't you let it go for one night? God, you're so bitter."
Dick sighed. This was so awkward. Why did he have to be here? He didn't want to banter with Slade, especially over a stupid topic like this. Seducing women? Really? In truth, he didn't want to do anything with Slade. Not even this.

"I'm sorry? Am I annoying you?" Dick asked, his tone mocking. "I'm sorry that I haven't quite gotten over the fact that you can violently murder my friends at any time. I'll try harder."

Although Dick knew that that comment annoyed Slade even more, the mercenary decided to ignore the jab. Perhaps Slade didn't want to lose his temper in front of all of these people. Good. Then Dick could annoy him without having the situation break out into a fight. He hoped.

"But I'm sure that I could pick up more chicks than you," Slade said.

Dick said nothing for the longest time. Slade sat there with the biggest grin on his face. Dick pushed out his chair and stood up. He could only take so many personal insults before exploding. He ran a hand through his hair and turned to leave. Before he could walk two feet he felt Slade grab his collar.

"Hey, whoa, back it up—where are you going?"

"To do what you asked."

"You can't just jump into the fray and expect women to fling themselves at you."

"I don't need your help."

"Really?" Slade let go of him. "I didn't know your ego was that big."

Dick leaned against the table in annoyance. One of the many things he hated about this apprenticeship was the fact that Slade lectured him all the freaking time. For once—just once—he felt as though he could do something without Slade having to correct him. Sure, wooing women is serious business.

"You're one to talk about ego, Slade."

"How many girlfriends have you had?"

"…"

"None?"

"No, I'd just rather not talk about that with you."

"You've had none. Don't lie to me."

"I didn't say anything!"

"Exactly. If you don't say anything then I can just assume the worst."

"Still, that doesn't affect my ability to woo women."

"True, but it does indicate how well you've done in the past."

"And you?"

Slade just looked at him. "What about me?"

"Did you scare away all of your girlfriends? Or did you make them work for you too?"

"…"

"..."

"Fine. I won't ask you anymore about that. But in all seriousness, Dick: you may be good, but you'll never be as good as me unless you shut up and listen to me."

So, Slade thought he was quite the lady's man. If Dick proved him wrong then it would be one small victory that Dick could always push into Slade's face. God knows he needed something to boost his self-esteem. Dick pointed to the other side of the room.

"My only possible hindrance to seducing those women over there is this bruise on my face you gave me yesterday."

"Chicks dig scars."

"Are you freaking kidding me?"

"No. It's perfectly true. Girls also like bad boys."

"You're messed up."

"That's just your opinion, and your opinion doesn't matter."

Dick snorted. He couldn't believe that he was having this conversation with Slade.

"I'm sure women would just love to date you, you psycho."

"You'd be surprised how many dig the eye-patch."

"Probably only the ugly ones."

Slade shook his head. "A puerile insult, Dick. Women want men, not boys. Boyish comments like that won't get you anything, except perhaps a slap to the face."

Despite himself, Dick's face flushed in embarrassment. Why was he allowing Slade to lecture him about this? Before Dick could say something else Slade spoke.

"Dick, I know you're tired from training today, but that's no reason to be irritable with me."

"Oh, so now you're pretending to care about my well-being. Perfect."

"Don't try me, kid. Tonight you don't have to be serious. Go out and have a good time."

Dick narrowed his eyes in distrust. Slade didn't know the definition of fun, so why did he say something like that? Besides, Dick couldn't unwind and relax. He felt as though he always had to be on the alert. Being Slade's apprentice made him feel paranoid all of the time. As though Slade sensed this, the older man spoke again.

"Let's make a deal: if you manage to pick up more chicks than you by the end of the night then you get the afternoon off tomorrow."

Dick paused. That was a reasonable agreement. He hadn't had any sort of time off since he started working for Slade.

"And if you win?" Dick asked.

"I get bragging rights."

Dick didn't know if he could handle Slade having bragging rights over something like this. He nodded.

"Done."

What else could he lose? It wasn't as if he had to go steal something or hurt someone. This was something he knew how to do. He could do this. Without looking at Slade he ran a hand through his hair again and smirked to himself.

"Say no more, Slade: I got this."

A/N: It was going to be a oneshot but then I realized that it needs more than one chapter. This isn't a full length story, but it will have a few chapters. I was having way too much fun writing this.

I love how this turned out to be a battle of the egos. XD.

Also, I'm working on The Blorthog Project! I'm sorry I sort of abandoned it, but it's been kind of hard getting back in the groove after taking a month off.

Review!