"Baby, as much as I hate to say this...I think we're over-doing the whole 'sex on every surface imaginable' scheme," Rosie proclaimed.

That one statement hit me like a tonne of bricks. "WHAT?"

"Emmett, we're doing it everywhere. Like, seriously. We need to stop. We're breaking all of Esme's furniture - she's not so happy about that."

"No, I am not," Esme agreed from the kitchen.

"Baby, are you considering my opinion? I say, we do it anywhere and any time we want," I argued, knowing it was useless.

Edward decided to join in on this debate. "Emmett, give it up."

"Edward McGaylon, shut up," I beamed, frustrated.

"Emmett!" Esme instantly roared. "You do not use that language in my home. Apologise, now."

"It's not my fault! Everyone's listening in on my conversation to my not-so-great wife now. We need some privacy!"

Rosie was fuming.

"NOT-SO-GREAT? We'll see about that," Rosalie exclaimed, tight lipped.

Oh no, bad choice. Now, sex wasn't even in the picture.

"Sorry, baby. Let me make it up to you. How about some make up sex?" I smiled, knowing my suggestion would never be accepted.

"Emmett, cut the crap. Sex isn't even a choice now," Rosalie screeched.

"Baby, do you know how hard that is? To not have sex with you?" I asked?

"Baby, do you know how fake you sound? Stop sucking up to me," she responded in the exact tone.

"What's that one line Emmett always says? Oh, wait, I remember, it's, 'YOU GOT OWNED!'" Bella chirped, tipping me off the edge.

"STOP WITH THE IMITATING. WHY DOES EVERYONE NEED TO BECOME INVOLVED IN MY PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS?"

There was no answer. It was silent. Finally.

I spoke, after a good two seconds.

"Rosie, I'm sorry. No sex is probably the one thing I could not live without. This won't work. I'm certain," I apologised.

"You both could break the Guiness World Records, for having the most intercourse in one lifetime," one suggested. I laughed. We could, to be honest.

"Emmett, this will never work. Make up sex?" Rosie asked, peeking up from her long lashes.

"Do you have to ask?"

...And I sped off upstairs, into our room.