Hey ya'll! TwilightSagaLover543 here. At the moment, I am in the airplane, and I am going to L.A. Of course, I was planning on working on the new update for "I Don't Know You, But I Think I Love You", but I need to use the internet to look at the dress I need, so I can't really work on this.
Anyone see the Saturday Night Live video for "Jizz in my Pants"? Haha, well me and my friends are like, in LOVE with that (: So I downloaded it on my ipod (no, I didn't buy it…) and well, I was listening to it, and I thought of a really funny one-shot.
So I hope you guys enjoy this as much as the idea was for me(:
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight sadly…Oh, and i also DO NOT own Jizz in my pants. lol.
I was over the Cullen's house for the day - I was going to sleep over, since it was the first Saturday night of the Christmas break. We were all going to have a cool night together, watching movies, talking, and eating! Well, I was going to be the only one eating actual food.
For now, Alice, Rosalie and I were all sitting in the living room, waiting for the boys to come from wherever they were. Emmett had suddenly had a really funny idea, and he took Edward and Jasper along with him upstairs. They all did a good job blocking their minds, because Alice couldn't see what was going to happen.
"Are you sure you can't see what the boys are doing?" Rosalie asked Alice for the third time. We were all getting impatient - we could hear the laughter coming from Emmett's room - where the boys were.
"Yah, Rose. I tried looking over and over again, but they are blocking me out! Damn it!" She giggled, putting the big, fluffy pillow over her face.
"Well, apparently it's going to be something funny, because they keep laughing their asses off upstairs," I said, taking a look into the hallway to see if they were coming downstairs.
"Hey, look! They're coming downstairs!" Rosalie told us, her long, white finger pointing towards the door.
The three boys walked into the living room, and they were all wearing over-sized tee-shirts and sweatpants. They also had hats on their heads - turned sideways, none the less - and had put grillz on their teeth.
Alice, Rosalie and I looked at each other for one second, then burst out laughing. The boys looked ridiculous! We had no idea what they were up to, but from what we saw in front of us, it was going to be hilarious.
"Oh my god," Alice gasped in between her fits of laughter, "What are you guys doing?!"
"We are going to put on a show for you girls," Edward answered, looking at me and winking. Wow, my heart began to fasten its pace - he always had that affect one me.
"And it involves you boys dressing up as gangsters, and looking absolutely ridiculous, but very hot at the same time?" Rosalie giggled.
"Hells yeah, baby girl," Emmett said, walking over to the middle of the living room. It wasn't really walking - it was more like limping. Edward and Jasper followed him, the three of them standing side by side. Jasper went over to the stereo and pressed the play button, starting up the disk that was in there. An interesting beat began to play, as Emmett stood in the middle, ready to perform.
"Like eyes, from across the room
Down my drink, while the rhythms boom
Take my hand, and skip the names,
No need here for the silly games
Make our way through the smoking crowd,
The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud,
Moving close as the lasers fly,
Our bodies touch as the angels cry,
Leave this place go back to yours
Our lips first touch outside your door
The whole night - what we've got in store
Whisper in my ear that you want some more and I
Jizz In My Pants
This really never happens you can take my word,
I want to apologize, that was just absurb,
Mainly your fault for the way that you dance, and now I
Jizz In My Pants,
Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut
Plus it's your fault you were rubbing my butt
I'm very sensitive, someone said that's a plus, now I'll go home and change."
Emmett performed a few break-dance moves, pulling up the sleeve of his shirt, to flaunt his muscles for Rosalie.
"Sexy!" Rosalie cried out, laughing the whole time. Now Jasper took Emmett's place in the middle, making his way over to Alice.
"I need a few things from the grocery
Doing things alone now, mostily
Left me heartbroken, not looking for love,
Surprise in my eyes when I looked above
The check out counter, and I saw her face,
My heart stood still, so did time and space
I never thought that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
She turned to me, that's when she said it
Looked me dead in the face and asked 'cash or credit' and I
Jizzed In My Pants
It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me,
But we're going to need a clean up on aisle three
And now I'm posed in an awkward stance, because I
Jizzed In My Pants
To be fair, you were flirting a lot
And the way you bag cans has got me bothered and hot
Please stop acting like you're not impressed,
One more thing, I'm gonna pay by check."
Just as Jasper finished his last line, Edward slid over to me, putting his hand on the wall behind the couch, his entire body towering over mine.
He looked me dead in the face - I was trying really hard not to laugh. Edward looked really sexy dressed up like this!
"Last week, I saw a film
As I recall it was a horror film
Went outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang and I
Jizzed in my pants
Speeding down the street when the red lights flash
Need to get away, need to make a dash,
A song comes on that reminds me of you, and I
Jizz in my Pants
The next day, my alarm goes off and I
Jizz in my Pants
Open my window and a breeze rolls in, and I
Jizz in my Pants
When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of the Sixth Sense I
Jizzed in my Pants
I just ate a grape and I
Jizzed in my Pants,
I just Jizzed in my Pants.."
Now Emmett walked over to Edward, pushing him off the wall. He looked back and forth from Edward to Jasper, then said:
"Okay, seriously you guys? Can we…okay?"
The three boys now stood together in the middle of the room, and all began to finish the song together.
"I jizz right in my pants, every time you're next to me
And when we're holding hands, it's like having sex to me
You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy
I wear a rubber at all times, it's a necessity
Cause I jizz in my pants
I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants, yes I jizz in my pants, yes I jizz in my pants
Yes I Jizz In My Pants!
I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants, ahh…"
The music stopped playing as the boys stood in the middle, all posed and looking at us.
"Oh my god!" We all squealed, laughing and clapping for them.
"You guys were brilliant!" I said, tears running down my face.
"Thank you, thank you, that was MY brilliant idea," Emmett said, bowing for us.
"That was a very entertaining show," I winked at Edward, as he came and sat down on the couch, pulling me onto his lap.
"That's great, now please…don't make me jizz in my pants."
Okay, hahaha that was so retarded!
But read and tell me if that's good.
There's only so much you can do on an airplane….
I really didn't read this over, so yah….if it doesn't really make sense, just go along with it.
And whoever else has MEMORIZED the whole thing like I have, lol, let me know (:
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE (:
TwilightSagaLover543