This one shot has been STRONGLY inspired by
Fast Car by Tracey Chapman.

Mauras POV
"Can't we wait until Ma gets home?" The worst part about having a pre-teen daughter was that she was now fully aware of her surroundings. She was aware that it was late and one of her parents was yet to come home, and she was aware that I was also worried.

"No, but I'll make sure she comes in and says goodnight when she gets home." I said quietly, pressing my lips softly against my twelve year old daughter's forehead. Emy huffed in annoyance, turning over to face away from me without saying goodnight. I was always the bad guy.

The fireplace in the corner of the living room had started to heat the house, so I was more than happy to take my place in the rocking chair my mother had passed down to me when I had our first child. I pulled our daughters baby blanket to cover my legs that were now folded comfortably underneath my body.

I rest my head on the back of the chair and let the slow rocking settle any stress and worries I had from the day just passed. I let my eyes wander around the warm, large living room. There were photographs of our little girls scattered around the room, along with art work our eldest had painted for us. It was a room full of memories; some far better than others. There was a stain on the carpet from the first time we let our daughter crawl around without a nappy on. There was a random patch sewn on one of the sofa cushions from where Jane had spilled beer the first week we moved into the house. It was a family home, that's for sure.

It was a family home. These days, it felt like a shell of what it once was. I was finding myself spending more and more nights alone, trying to put three anxious little girls to sleep. Every night I had to come up with another reason why their other mother wasn't here to kiss them goodnight, and it was getting to be too much for me. A four year old should not be worried about her parents. The mere thought made my eyes squeeze shut.

How did we get here? I took a deep breath and let my eyes settle on the photo of Jane and I on our wedding day. I was heavily pregnant and wearing a second hand designer dress, Jane beside me in a Red Sox jersey. It wasn't anything like the wedding I had always dreamed of, but it was one of the happiest days of my life. We look happy in that photo, and I tried to remember that feeling. I tried to remember what it felt like to be completely at peace with my life.

We worked our way up from nothing. Jane had left school at sixteen to help take care of her sick mother and she had made me promise I would graduate and go somewhere in life. I graduated and started my life, but it was no life without her. We ran away together like a pair of fifteen year olds. We moved from shelter to shelter, often spending nights cuddled up in my car trying to stay warm. She worked at a convenience store while I went to college and got my medical degree, something I still can't believe I achieved.

We mended things with our families and worked harder than ever to make a life for ourselves. We spent endless weekends on the roof of my car staring at the stars planning our life together.

Five years later we bought this house. We lived in the suburbs and had our families over for Sunday dinners. We finally had the life we had always dreamed of having, and we had it together. At least I thought it was the life we wanted.

Here we are now, twelve years later. We're married; we have three beautiful little girls who represent all that is good in this world and yet nothing felt like I imagined it would.

"Maura?" The second I heard her slurred speech, I felt the air knocked right out of my lungs. I was exhausted, but I got up and helped her walk to the sofa none the less. The smell of beer on her breath was so potent it nearly triggered my gag reflex.

"Where were you?" I asked her quietly, running my hands through my blonde hair and tucking any lose strands behind my ears. This wasn't the woman I fell in love with, and I couldn't for the life of me work out where she had gone.

"I was just having some drinks with Frost and Korsak." She smiled, and I didn't have the nerve to tell her that I had called them earlier and neither of them knew where she was. Every night for the past two weeks she had come home past midnight stinking of beer or tequila.

"I told the girls you'd go say goodnight when you got home." I told her as she yawned silently. She nodded slowly, her eyes red and hazy as she stood up and made her way towards the girls rooms. "Can you brush your teeth first?" I asked, biting down on my bottom lip as I grabbed the door handle of one of the girls rooms and held it in place. She huffed at me and made her way to our room where I assumed she was going to use the ensuite.

Half an hour passed and she hadn't returned. I was more than sure that she had passed out but I couldn't bring myself to go and check. I walked back into the living room and curled up on the sofa, tears burning behind my eyes as I realised this is exactly what my life was going to be from here on.

"Hey." Janes sudden presence in the room made me jump, quickly wiping any stray tears away from my face before she noticed them, though I'm sure in her current state she probably wouldn't have noticed them anyway.

"Do you want to leave?" I asked as she sat down beside me, the smell of beer thankfully a lot less potent than it was earlier. She looked at me in complete confusion, her eyes a little more clear than before. "If you want to get away for a few days; I'm not going anywhere. We'll be here when you get back if you need some time…"

"Are you asking me to leave?" She asked in disbelief, sitting forward beside me and running her hands through her long, dark hair.

"You see more of your friends than you do your kids." My statement was simple, but she knew what I was saying. "I always hoped for better from us, Jane. This isn't what I want my children to grow up thinking is normal. Alcoholism runs in families and I cannot put them at risk of this happening to them." My voice was quiet. I had had this conversation with her so many times in my head, yet this was the first time I had found the nerve to speak it aloud. I knew it wasn't fair to bring up her alcoholic father or brother; but I needed to protect our girls no matter what the sacrifice.

"Why would you wait for me?" She asked, her voice as quiet as mine when she spoke now. She looked up at me, her eyes no longer shining the way they once did. Those eyes used to set a fire inside of my heart; now they just made me want to cry.

"Because you're still the person I fell in love with, you're just struggling right now." She nodded, a moment of silence passing as she took in my words.

"I'm sorry." I swallowed the lump in my throat at her simple, powerful statement. It was the first time in my life I could ever recall Jane apologising for anything.

"Go say goodbye to the girls before you go."