Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless or the song "Like I Am," which is once again the sole property of those deliciously good-looking guys from my favorite country music band Rascal Flatts. Enjoy!
Soubi sat in the chair in his living room, watching the little twelve-year-old asleep on his couch. Ritsuka had been under so much duress lately. He couldn't very well have let him go home to his mother's ridicule and punishment, which was why he asked him to stay the night with him.
Ritsuka only agreed hesitantly, knowing that it would put him in bigger trouble with his mother the next day, but after Soubi put his arms around him and said that he would protect him and told him again that he loved him, he was putty in his hands. He had then asked that his Fighter stay in the room until he'd fallen asleep. What he hadn't counted on was that Soubi would become completely entranced just looking at him.
He had been sitting there for hours just staring at Ritsuka, the slow up and down motion of his breathing, the gentle lilt of his eyelids as he dreamed (about what Soubi could only guess), the way his ears twitched every now and then while his tail swam sweetly around him. He knew that this was really only a part of his promise to Seimei, but he had come to fall in love with Ritsuka for real as he had gotten to know him.
Lying here with you
I watch you while you sleep
The dawn is closing in
With every breath you breathe
Thinking about recent events, Soubi remembered what Kio had told him earlier that week. He'd been very quiet for some reason, and Soubi finally asked him what was wrong. Kio then proceeded to tell him about how much he had let Ritsuka change him. Unsure what he meant, Soubi asked him to go on.
"I suppose it isn't a bad kind of change," Kio said. "After all, I don't think I've seen you smile this much in the entire time I've known you, and let's face it, we've known each other for quite some time now. It's good that you're so happy. I just wonder if you should be so happy about another of the Aoyagi family. You know how I felt about Seimei."
"Stop there, Kio," Soubi said, keeping his anger in check. "You know that I don't like for you to speak ill of Seimei. As for Ritsuka, he is my charge now, and I love him. If I have changed, at least it's for the better. That little boy has made me feel happier than I have in years. I don't think I even smiled once in the three years after Seimei died until I met Ritsuka."
Indeed it was certainly true. Now there was hardly a moment when one could catch Soubi without at least a little grin on his face. He looked back over at the sleeping Ritsuka and smiled again, knowing that it was all his doing. Even though he couldn't possibly fathom why, Ritsuka loved him just as much as the love that was given, perhaps more.
"Why, Ritsuka?" he said quietly. "What is it that you see in me that makes you love me so much?"
I can feel the change
The change you've made in me
But will I ever see
All the things you see in me
Ritsuka had been extremely attentive over the past several weeks, never wanting to leave Soubi's side, and though the latter didn't mind at all, he had to wonder if something was wrong. When he'd asked Ritsuka about it, the boy had simply shrugged and said with a smile, "I can't help it that I want to spend all my time with you, Soubi. You care about me, like so few people in this world do. You really are one of a kind."
He had smiled and put an arm around his shoulders saying, "It is you who are one of a kind, Aoyagi Ritsuka."
Thanks to the battles they had been in recently, Ritsuka had come to have this image of Soubi, of this unbelievably strong man who could take on any challenge and defeat it with flying colors. Soubi had tried to explain to him that he was just a Fighter and a part of his fights depended on luck and even the strength that he received from him, but Ritsuka refused to believe anything except that it was all Soubi, all his power and might.
After this conversation had taken place, Soubi made a promise to himself and, silently, to Ritsuka that because he believed him to be such a strong, good man that he would be that man as much as he possibly could. For Ritsuka…
When you say that I'm one of a kind
Baby, I don't see it but you believe
That I'm so strong and true, I promise you
I'll try to be that kind of man
Because you love me like I am
Remembering that promise, Soubi arose from his chair and sat down on the floor beside the couch. He carefully brushed some strands of hair out of Ritsuka's eyes and kissed him tenderly. He was sure that only once had he ever felt this kind of love, and that was with Seimei. This was the kind of love that made one's heart ache, a love so deep that one could cry for thinking about how much he loved someone else.
"I haven't been in love that much in my life," he whispered, hoping that on some level Ritsuka could hear him. "I don't know how to be the perfect lover, but for you, Ritsuka, I will try my hardest. You I will love forever because you have stolen my heart in a way that only one other person in my life ever has. I love you, Ritsuka."
When it comes to love
I may not know the rules
But there's one thing I know
My heart belongs to you, just you
Soubi closed his eyes in reflection for a moment, and when he opened them again, he saw that Ritsuka was wide awake, a little smile on his face. He had heard every word of what he'd just said, and he sat up as he replied, "I'm glad that you love me, Soubi. You know…you and Seimei are the only ones to ever tell me that you love me."
He then threw his arms around the older man and let the tears come as he went on, "I love you too, Soubi. I love you because you love me and because you're the greatest man I've ever known."
He smiled a little as he hugged him back and said, "I've told you before, Ritsuka, that much of the power that I put forth in a battle comes from the strength that I receive from you. You are the strength that comes from within. When we're in a fight and I can feel how much you care about me, I can't help but let out all the energy I can muster to win…for you."
Ritsuka sniffled back some of the tears and held onto him tightly as he whispered, "Thank you."
Soubi nodded and renewed the promise again, this time aloud. "Ritsuka," he said quietly, "I promise to try to be the man you see me as. I promise you that I will try to be for you a strong and good man because I want to be the man you want me to be."
The boy just smiled and chuckled as he said, "But Soubi, I love you like you are."
You show me you love me
With a fire that burns deep inside
When you say that I'm one of a kind
Baby, I don't see it but you believe
That I'm so strong and true, I promise you
I'll try to be that kind of man
Because you love me like I am