A/N: Ok, a tad late for Halloween, but I was working late… sigh Canon or not, realistic or not, this was just my way of working out a particular bad bit of writer's block. And it's how I view 'Halloween' as well. A night where the veil between our world and the next is thinnest and the chance of 'connecting' is that much greater. This also isn't beta'd and will never be. So now you all get to see what I can write like without a beta and very little sleep
Letting Go
"O-bon's over with, wench."
"This isn't O-bon. It's Samhain."
"Saw-wane?"
Kagome nodded, adjusting the ties of her hakama as she absently answered the irritated hanyou. He had been on edge ever since he'd come to her time and found her dressed in her formal Shinto robes. The last time she'd worn them had been for O-bon when assisting her grandfather. Inuyasha hadn't been pleased with her wearing the robes then either. She frowned at the renewed memories. Some were pleasant, some not so, but either way she couldn't get rid of the robes. It was an affirmation, a lost childhood and a home, all in one.
"A few years ago there was this exchange student from Ireland. She taught me about it and what it means to her. The idea was similar to O-bon, but it was different too. She showed me hope."
"Hope?"
"Hai. Hope. Come on, you'll see."
"Keh, don't I need my hat?"
Kagome chuckled, "No. Tonight is special. Everyone dresses up as someone else. You can go out just as you are and no one will care. Promise."
He sighed, allowing himself to be pulled out of the house, down the shrine steps and across the street to wait for the bus. He didn't like seeing Kagome in her traditional robes and not for the reason she assumed. Two years ago she had reminded him strongly of Kikyou when she had worn such clothing. But tonight… tonight she was Kagome. It was like seeing her in a new way, as if he'd never really seen Kagome. Yet here she stood, bravely wearing something he once cursed her for daring to wear, and rather than giving her his usual cutting remarks, he could only stand silent and drink in the vision of beauty she was. No, seeing her like this was just a painfully physical reminder that she was a miko; untouchable.
The bus ride was a short one and if it hadn't been for Kagome's forewarning about costumes, he might have pulled out Tessaiga on a couple of fierce looking 'demons'. They had not upset Kagome and so he'd stayed his hand, watching just to be safe. Tonight he needed to be on his guard. Exiting the bus, Kagome pulled him down the street until she found the gate she was looking for.
They weren't alone in their endeavors as they entered the graveyard. Some were there for the same reason as Kagome, others to see if they could find a ghost. Kagome easily weaved her way through the headstones until the voices of the other visitors died out, until they were very nearly in the farthest part of the graveyard. It was peaceful, but eerie all at once. He wanted to leave, but he also wanted to be here for her. This was important to her and he felt honored to be including in something so special.
He watched in silence as she knelt before the well tended stone, digging out a candle and incense from the small pack she had brought along. Lighting both with one of her matches, he listened to her soft explanation.
"Samhain is a celtic tradition. A celebration of the end, death, and the beginning, life. Moira taught me to let go of the old before starting something new. She showed me that I'd been holding back by dwelling over Otou-san's death; that could still hold on without letting go. 'Death isn't the end', she told me. 'It's merely a new beginning.' I didn't understand, nor did I believe her until Samhain. She told me to meet her here that night, and what I saw…" she paused, looking up at him with uncertainty.
He crouched low, showing her in silence that he was listening and wanted her to continue. He wanted to know why tonight was so special. He was mildly disappointed when she shook her head, denying him the information.
"It's better seen than explained. I just hope he'll show for you too."
Curious, he was about to question her, but stopped when she bowed her head in prayer. He suddenly felt the hairs on the back of his neck rising with each passing moment. Something was coming. The air stirred briefly, then… nothing. No sound, no wind. Just them and… he jerked back. Surely he was seeing things! He rubbed at his eyes, thinking he was dreaming or perhaps under some sort of spell. It wasn't until Kagome's hand grabbed his that he realized he'd been backing away. The distress in her eyes made him stop immediately, ashamed that he would attempt to abandon her after she'd gone through the trouble of including him in this… this… he stared at the image, still unsure what exactly was going on and the confusion must have been plain on his face because Kagome was answering his unspoken question.
"Otou-san, Inuyasha. Just this one night I can talk to him. He asked me to bring you this year."
"Arigato, Inuyasha."
Inuyasha blinked several times before finally finding his voice, only to utter a stunned, "Huh?"
"For protecting my daughter. It is hard to watch her go through so much, but good to see she has friends standing beside her." The apparition chuckled from his seat on the gravestone. "Although I understand why you call her a bitch, I'd suggest you explain it to Kagome before she flattens you into the ground."
Inuyasha just gaped at the man for a long moment before the words sank in and he blushed. Explain that to her? Hell no! He'd definitely be sat into oblivion if he told her about that! Too caught up in his own inner turmoil, he failed to notice Kagome's frown or acknowledge her moving away from him. He blinked slowly, trying to come to some sort of decision should she actually ask him to explain things.
Kagome moved away, frowning at the sudden change of topics and Inuyasha's lack of response. Turning to her Otou, she smiled lightly, glad he had come again. Each year it was a little easier to say good-bye and this year felt like it would be her last. She had learned to move on, to find meaning in something else, to be the person she was destined to be. Now it was time to let go of the past and embrace her future.
"It's alright, Kagome. You don't have to say it."
"Always one step ahead, Otou." Kagome smiled. "Aishiteru."
"Aishiteru, Kagome. I'm so proud of you." He looked to the hanyou, his message for Inuyasha's ears alone. "Tell her before she learns to let you go." And with a whisper he was gone, the candle blown out and the incense burned to nothing.
"Maybe…if there's still time," Kagome said softly, her back to Inuyasha. "We can talk to your father."
Without warning she found herself enveloped in the warm, vast folds of Inuyasha's haori, as he buried his face in her hair. She could almost taste the desperation in his embrace; the desire to keep her close and never let her go. Tentatively, gently, she brushed her fingers over his hands, trying to get him to release her, only to be pulled back tightly.
Inuyasha shuddered, suddenly scared that his worst fears might be coming true. She was always there for him, even when he was being his worst and now she was showing him this. Was she trying to tell him that she was doing this same thing with him?
"Next year," he whispered raggedly next to her ear, startling her.
"What?"
"We can try next year."
"But we still have a…"
"No." He slowly eased up his hug, just long enough to turn her to face him. "Tonight I teach you."
"Teach me?" She frowned, puzzled. "Teach me what?"
"Not to let go."
