The Look Of Love

By Miss Jazz

Category: Angst/Romance, GSR, GC friendship, Nick/Sofia.

Spoilers: Slight mention of "Burden Of Proof" and "Bodies In Motion."

Summary: Catherine catches Grissom eavesdropping and the truth comes out. GSR, GC friendship, and some light Nick/Sofia.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. I wish I did.

Author's Note: I really hope they don't do a Grissom/Sara/Sofia love triangle on the show. Grissom and Sofia DON'T have chemistry. Sara and Grissom DO have chemistry. And surprisingly, Nick and Sofia have chemistry. There, problem solved...but nooooo! They have to make it so hard for us GSR fans! Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Faithful Light and Escapade updates are coming! Thanks for all the support!

The evidence was giggling.

Gil Grissom was not.

He stood there, motionless, unable to tear his gaze from the scene on the other side of the glass. Only a few minutes earlier, he had been observing an interrogation, but now he was observing something else entirely. The suspect and the lawyer were gone; cold-looking, empty chairs were left scattered; and Nick Stokes and Sofia Curtis were sitting on the edge of the table, very close to each other...giggling.

"Uh, Grissom?"

Catherine Willows' voice was gentle, full of concern. He heard her say his name. He did. He was just so caught up in the scene in front of him, so busy processing and interpreting Nick and Sofia as if they were pieces of evidence, that he couldn't reply. That, and he was battling his way through at least a hundred, scary, unfamiliar emotions. Words were just not an option right then.

"Gil? Are you alright?"

He managed a nod, and he continued to stare through the glass as Catherine approached cautiously. He had no idea where she'd just come from and when he was finally able to speak again, he didn't bother asking. "Nick and Sofia," he said instead, his words coming out in a quick whisper. "They're uh, they're flirting...I think."

"You think?" Wearing a puzzled expression, Catherine moved next to Grissom and peered through the darkened glass, studying the two preoccupied people on the other side. After a few seconds, she turned back to him. "Excellent observation," she said quietly.

"So they are?"

"What?"

"Flirting, I mean."

Catherine raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah, Grissom. Definitely. In fact, that's some pretty fine flirting going on in there."

Grissom let out a long, uneven breath and he finally looked over at her, his face relaxing into a tiny smile."Okay."

"Okay..." she repeated slowly, now looking beyond puzzled. "And you're having some sort of reaction to this? One that I really don't understand, so feel free to enlighten me..."

He shrugged. "I'm surprised."

"You're smiling."

"I'm pleasantly surprised."

Putting her hands on her hips, Catherine stared him down. "So...you're happy about this?" she mused, as she tried to read him."And maybe a little relieved? Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. And I'm more than a little relieved," he admitted quickly, softly.

Catherine smiled. "Oh, so she's been flirting with you?"

"Sofia? Yes." He gritted his teeth, looking annoyed and worried. "Incessantly. Or so I'm realizing."

"And you didn't like it?"

He shook his head. "I–well, I didn't realize it was happening," he mumbled, stepping away from the window in an attempt to put a greater distance between himself and Sofia. It was an unnecessary move, really, but he needed to do it. "God, Cath...I honestly didn't see it–"

"Until she stepped it up a notch?"

Grissom nodded slowly. "I, um, I tend to be oblivious to these things."

"Really, Gil? I didn't notice." Catherine's smile now matched her sarcastic tone. "So what exactly did she do to make you clue in?"

He tilted his head in thought, grimacing. "I don't really know. She said something about being happy to be out of the lab but that there are things she's going to miss, and then she gave me this look–"

"What look? The look of love?" teased Catherine.

Grissom was horrified. "I'm serious. I didn't know she felt–I mean, it wasn't at all what I intended–"

"Relax," Catherine told him, gesturing toward the two forms giggling on the other side of the glass. "Apparently, it's a non-issue now. That, or she just flirts with everyone, which is most definitely a possibility from what I've seen from her so far. I'll let you know when she starts cuddling up to me."

"No, I think she really does, um, like him,"Grissom insisted softly. "Look–they're sitting really, uh, really close to each other. And Nick's smiling. He hasn't been happy like that in a long time."

Catherine crossed her arms. "Well now you just seem jealous. And strangely obsessed."

"Trust me, I'm not."

"Good, because I'm starting to get really concerned here. This isn't like you at all." She studied him closely, carefully. "Why do you suddenly care so much?"

"I don't."He turned away quickly and he began to make his way down the hall, Nick and Sofia's light laughter fading away behind him.

Catherine followed. "Yes you do," she insisted."You do care. And don't try to tell me that you don't because as hard you try, you can't fool me. I've known you way too long." She caught up to him then, matching his brisk pace. "Come on, Grissom. I know you care."

"I care about Nick's happiness," he offered. "I care about the fact that he's laughing with someone–if that's what you mean."

"You know it's not."

"Okay then," Grissom said uneasily. "I care that they're, um, preoccupied with each other instead of working. Nicky hasn't wrapped his case." He sighed, hoping that his attempt to avoid the issue wouldn't be futile.

"You're trying hard, and you may be boring me but you're not fooling me." She gently grabbed his arm and pulled him around to face her. Her expression was soft, compassionate and when she spoke, her words were that way too."You were staring at them," she said. "I honestly thought there was an interrogation going on in there. That's how into it you were."

"There was an interrogation going on," he insisted."It just–"

"Finished before I got there?"

Letting out another long breath, he relented reluctantly. "About five minutes before."

"But since you were observing–which you do so well–you noticed that Sofia and Nick didn't leave...so you decided to stay and do a little eavesdropping."

"I was not eavesdropping."

"Grissom! You were standing there starting at them with an uncharacteristic look of longing in your eyes!" Catherine exclaimed quietly."And you've been caught! So spill it. I know this isn't about Nick. Or Sofia."

He stopped and he stared at her for a long, awkward moment while he gathered all the courage he could. "Of course it isn't," he finally muttered, through quick, uneasy breaths. Then, with an anxious expression on his face, he broke from Catherine's grasp and continued down the hall.

But she still followed at his heels, so insistent, so concerned. "Gil...come on..."

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, sounding sad, wounded.

"Because I care."

"Do you care enough to leave it alone?"

"I care more than that and that's why I won't leave it alone. That, and I'm now very curious." She caught up to him again and she chuckled, but the great extent of her concern remained obvious.

Grissom pressed his lips together, moving his head from side to side to stretch the stiff feeling out of his neck. "I'm not going to feed your curiosity, Catherine," he said firmly. "I don't want to talk about this."

"I think you do," she told him, rather confidently. "I think you're confused. I think you want answers. You might even want someone to kick you in the ass. Well, guess what? I'm volunteering."

"And I'm declining. Thank-you anyway."

She tried again. "You know, if you let me kick you in the ass, you can stop doing it yourself."

Wincing, he stopped again, whirling around to face her."What are you talking about?"

"Four words, Grissom," she replied, staring hard into his eyes."Head. Out. Of. Microscope."

"I'll admit, that sounds familiar. But I'm still not following."

"Yes you are and you know it. God, Gil–aren't you tired of denying your feelings every day? Aren't you tired of pretending that you don't care about anything but the lab and bugs and Shakespeare? Aren't you sick of kicking yourself over and over again for not taking chances?"

"Don't make assumptions," Grissom said quietly, cautiously. "You don't know how I feel. You don't even know if I feel anything at all."

"You just told me that you feel something," protested Catherine. "You told me just by standing there, eavesdropping. You don't have to say it with words. Sometimes...sometimes it's obvious."

He sighed gently."What do you want from me?" he asked, knowing that he'd heard those exact words before, somewhere...

"I want to know why you were staring at Nick and Sofia. And I also want to know who you were thinking about while you were watching them. I think I have a pretty good idea, but..." she trailed off softly.

Grissom leaned against the wall, his blue eyes closing for a moment. His body was warm and cold; an icy fear was creeping into every single one of his bones. "I don't think telling you will change anything," he admitted slowly, almost painfully. "It doesn't really matter now anyway."

"Of course it does."

He shook his head. "No, it doesn't. I haven't seen it in awhile–"

"What haven't you seen?" she asked gently.

Taking a deep breath, Grissom looked around, scanning the hall to make sure nobody else was listening. His chin twitched and he licked his lips; his discomfort was more than evident. "It's, uh, it's that...that look," he hissed, after deciding that the coast was clear.

"That look?"

"That look. The one I got from Sofia."

"The one that made you finally clue in?"

He gave a half-nod. "Yes."

"Okay..." pressed Catherine.

Grissom cleared his throat. "I've, uh, I've seen it before."

"And?"

"I, well, I actually liked it when I saw it before." He bowed his head quickly, hoping to hide from Catherine's reaction. He could hardly believe that he'd let those words escape his mouth...and he could hardly believe that there were more revealing words on the tip of his tongue, ready to be spilled out. "I, uh, I mean...I think it really meant something when I saw it before."

"It meant something to you?"

He remained sullen."I don't know. I think so. It confused me. I...I didn't understand it."

"You didn't understand or you didn't want to understand?"

"I wanted to," he breathed."I just didn't know how."

"And you want to know how to understand it now?" Catherine asked warmly, her eyebrows raised.

Grissom looked around again. "I don't know," he said, forcing the words out through clenched teeth. "I don't really know what happened back there, okay? I just couldn't stop–"

"Eavesdropping?"

His face became very red. "It wasn't like that."

She gave his arm a comforting squeeze. "So why were you staring then?"

"Because...I was surprised."

Catherine rolled her eyes. "And?"

"And...relieved."

"That's great, but we've been through this already, Gil. Tell me something I don't know. Preferably today, but seeing how hard this is for you, I supposed I could let you sleep on it."

Grissom sighed. "I wasn't eavesdropping on purpose, Catherine. When I noticed that Nick and Sofia were...doing what they were doing..."

"Flirting."

"Right. When I noticed, I just–" He paused and his blue eyes softened. "I realized that I might...miss that."

Catherine was clearly shocked and clearly pleased. "You miss flirting?" she gasped out, her eyes very wide, sparkling.

"Not flirting, exactly," he muttered.

"Not exactly? Please, please elaborate..."

Grissom was getting impatient, but his eyes were still soft and full of longing. "I already did!" he exclaimed, his mind now spinning. Giving Catherine a pained look, he pushed himself away from the wall and headed toward the door, hoping to escape. She followed, of course.

"You said you haven't seen that look in awhile," she pressed on, still trotting at his heels. "Is that what you miss?"

Nodding ever so slightly, he opened the door and they both slipped outside. "Yes, I miss it, okay?" he said quickly. "Are we done here?"

"Well, that's up to you," she replied, with a gentle, I-know-something-you-don't-know smile.

He studied her, unamused. "What is it, Catherine?"

"What if I told you that you don't have to miss it anymore?"

"What are you proposing?" he replied, looking very afraid.

She rolled her eyes again. "Relax. I'm just saying that if you're referring to the person I think you're referring to, then I don't think you have to worry."

He shook his head sadly. "I don't think we're thinking about the same person then. Like I said, it doesn't matter now. I, uh, I blew any chance I had awhile ago. I...I haven't seen that look in a really long time." His voice was hoarse, barely audible.

"Oh, I think you've seen it," protested Catherine. "I think you see it every day. But, of course, you don't realize it."

"I'm getting more confused, if that's possible," huffed Grissom.

"With you, I'm sure it is possible."

He glared. "I thought you wanted to help. That's not helping."

"I am helping. I'm helping you right now by telling you to stop being so afraid."

Grissom could feel the colour drain from his cheeks. "I'm not afraid."

"Denying it will get you nowhere."

"And accepting it will get me somewhere?"

"Yes. Acceptance will let you see everything you've been missing. Including that look of love." She gave him a smile that was warm, teasing and sympathetic, and she patted his shoulder gently. "Look, Gil–Sara's working on something back in the layout room. She said she wasn't having much luck and that she'd probably be there for awhile..."

"I know where she is, Catherine," Grissom whispered.

"Well, good. Then I shouldn't have to say too much more."

Grissom was still puzzled but a tiny bit of hope blossomed in his eyes. "I don't know," he breathed. "I don't know if–"

"You'll never know unless you actually get your ass in gear and do something," Catherine said firmly. She backed away from him then, giving him a confident look. "Trust me. Sometimes I know what I'm talking about." She turned around and began to walk away.

"Do you?" he called out after her, his voice strained, almost begging...

Slowly, she turned around again. "I know what I see," she told him, very simply.

"So you saw it? You saw that look?"

Catherine nodded, her face glowing. "I saw Sara give you that look today, Gil. You were just too afraid to let yourself see it."

And with that, she disappeared.

And Grissom dared to hope.

The End