"I'm gonna have to tell you to fucking duck if you don't shut your mouth, Whitlock."

Emmett reckoned that was probably going past the borders of passive aggressiveness— and there was definitely a scintilla of hostility in his voice which not even he felt comfortable with — but the truth was that Jasper had been stretching his patience since the party had started, and there were only so many accurate, relatable insults a man could bear before snapping.

Especially when they came from your best friend.

"Go ahead. I'm all wet already, so there's not much you can do sh—"

Actually, Emmett thought with a smug smile, watching the spray of cold water ricochet off the blond's face as he pointed his hose at him, there's a lot I can do so I won't have to listen to you, loser.

Obviously, he did feel a bit guilty when he finally turned off the hose and let his roommate wipe his eyes and mouth with the hem of his relatively dry sweater. Having been made aware of the concept behind Garrett's party, Emmett was sure they were not supposed to use the water balloons and garden hoses at everyone's disposal to take revenge against unorthodox matchmakers.

"That was a shitty thing to do."

"I know."

"And it doesn't change the fact that I'm right."

"I know."

Of course he did. Emmett was perfectly aware that Jasper's criticism was spot-on. The whole point of coming here in lieu of attending an actual Halloween party was to get closer to a certain hot-as-fuck redhead, not to stare in fangirl-like longing at him from across the lawn as if that would grant him anything but disappointment.

"I don't know what the hell you're waiting for."

"Look, I know I should probably be doing something, but it's not nearly as easy as you're making it out to be."

This, in fact, was a statement that Jasper couldn't refute. Unlike Emmett, he had yet to have a conversation with their neighbor that proved they were something more to each other than mere acquaintances, so he'd never had to deal with any of Edward Masen's alter-egos besides Mr. Epitome-of-Politesse. He'd never had to face a grumpy-looking boy telling him to turn his music down because he needed to study or hear a snappish reply while he was just being his usual playful self or receive the cold shoulder only a day after thinking he was going somewhere with his plan to get into the guy's pants.

Jasper had only a very vague idea of how difficult Edward could be.

"Well, it looks like it's pretty easy for other people."

"I told you before it's not the same— umph!"

This time it was Emmett's face serving as a target for Jasper's water gun.

"There," his roommate said, pushing his face in the direction he'd been looking practically since they had arrived, and he saw for himself—through the drops that hung off his lashes—what the other was talking about. "That's Liam. He's in my American History class."

He pointed to a burly brunet standing beside the pool ladder, a beast of a guy whose broad shoulders shielded half of Edward's face from view while they shook in muted laughter. Emmett's stomach twisted as his gaze caught the shine that covered his neighbor's green eyes, evidence that he was… laughing along.

"Is he gay?"

"Definitely."

"Tell me your flair is really just that sharp and your friend is not a—"

"Yep. He is."

Emmett brushed away the water that pended from the tip of his nose with a callused hand. The uncomfortable feeling in his stomach had begun to well up, and the longer he stared at the pair and let his imagination run wild, the more he wanted to breeze past the throng of soaked partygoers and jets of water to throw Edward over his shoulder and take him away from people who certainly didn't understand him like he did.

Because a caveman also cries and all that.

"Whatever. Edward wouldn't date a History major."

Jasper blinked in confusion, his brow set into a heavy frown.

"No offense."

"I thought it was clear that Liam is not really into monogamy."

"Well, isn't that perfect? Edward is not really into sharing his sheets with History majors, so I don't see why I should worry."

Silence ensued. Liam had (thankfully) vanished from his sight, and once again, Emmett was able to make out from where he sat the inward curve at the small of his neighbor's back and the tempting outline of his ass, where his gaze couldn't help lingering for a moment or two before it travelled up to a lowered head. He noticed that Edward was religiously studying the grass beneath his fidgety feet, that his hands kept plunging into the thick, wayward mass of bronze hair on top of his head, and with a gulp, he realized that his crush was unsurprisingly nervous.

A cold, phantom finger poked the bottom of his spine, and in less than a second, he was on his feet, swallowing his own words without difficulty.

In fact, there were more than enough reasons why he should worry.

"Hold my hose."

Emmett threw it over to where Jasper sat, noting with a laugh that his best friend had his eyes closed as if he were trying to ward off some terrible image.

"You should be saying that to someone else, you know."

"That's the plan, buddy."

Actually, it wasn't—not yet at least— but he liked to think that in this traffic light party that was college life, there were no people wearing yellow bracelets, and he could just take Edward home with him right now and not worry about the residual possibility that he'd screw everything up, and his neighbor would never want to look at his face again.

Because that would make things a little awkward for them both, considering that they lived less than fifteen feet apart.

And, yes, okay, it would probably, instantly, completely destroy his heart as well.

But hell, he thought as the distance that separated him from the object of his tacit pursuit was gradually shortened, at least that'll make for a rad Halloween dessert.

A.N.: We should all gang-hug Emmett. AND, of course, bornonhalloween, because of numerous reasons, the first being that she writes fantastically and you should check out all her stories (because I'm saying so, and that should be enough, children) and the second being that it is her birthday today, which is why I'm publishing this little thing tonight. This is a five-chapter story, and the next sections will be published soon enough, but meanwhile… Stay tuned!