COTK!: Okay.. Here goes nothing...
Summary: This idea was givin to me by a little chat me and a friend had. Its odd, but None the less it made my brain start doing the brain thing... So.. Here it goes... Oh Deidara gets hyper and decides to screw with Itachi.
Skittles and strawberry shampoo.
Deidara sat on the couch, next to Tobi, who sat next to Kisame, who sat next to, Zetsu, who sat next to Hidan, who sat next To Kakuzu, who sat next to Unnamed member, who sat next to Leader, who Sat next to Itachi. Itachi was the first one in the room so he got comand over the T.V. and the contents on the screen.
Lifetime... He loved criticizing the horrible lives of the wimpy women who cant take a beating from their husbands or boyfriends so they complain to their friends who cant do any thing about it, or simply dont care enough to lift a finger for the broad.
Every one but Tobi groaned in disaproval when Itachi put the remote control down becide him. Tobi merely sobbed uncontrollebly at the poor womans life on the screen.
She sat huddled into a corner, cowering in fear as her alchoholic husband walked towards her with a baseball bat.
"Please Tony, stop! I wont defy your needs again!!!" Itachi chuckled as Kisame eyed Tobi suspitiously. Deidara snickered when the guy named Tony raised the bat into the air and the cops filed into the room. The day was saved by the bacon men.
"Im glad it had a happy ending after all." Tobi said, between muffled sobs as he reached under his mask to wipe away the sympethetic tears.
"Im not..." All the real criminals said as some left the room to do what ever it was criminals did on a sunday afternoon. Leaving Kisame, Deidara and Itachi. Tobi had gotten up to gather some sweets from his and Deidara's shared room.
"Itachi-san, whats on, on other channels, un?" Deidara groaned as Tobi cam back into the room with air-heads, and skittles.
"Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, and more crap..." Itachi mumbled as he simultaniously flipped through a few channels, to fast to really see what was on them, and changed back to Lifetime.
"But this is crap, yeah..." Deidara pleaded with the unfasable man.
"So, you are saying a have crappy tastes in channels?" Itachi faced him, activating the sharingan , only because the blonde was begining to agrivate him. "Are you, Deidara?" Deidara shook his head and returned to protest about the sappy love story that was now starting.
Something about a slutty teenage girl getting pregnant before she turned fifteen. And complaining because she cant take care of the baby and is mad at her mother for not letting the baby die of failure to thrive.
Tobi handed Deiadara some of the forbidden fruit in Deidara's point of view; Skittles... Deidara's eyes lit up as he snatched the pinkish orange package of asorted fruity flavors of sugary doom.
"Tobi.. Did you seriously just give him those?... You know how he gets when he has skittles..." Kisame said bluntly, getting ready to run for the hills once Deidara ripped through the paper/plastic package and stuffed alot of them into his mouth. "Do you remember the last time? With the barbed wire and your ass..." Tobi visibly shruddered.
"I think we all would rather not remember the screams that emmited from him..." Itachi said, deactivating his sharingan and returning to the movie. Deidara chuckled darkly as he popped more into his mouth and swallowed them whole. Kisame gaped and decided that, that was the time to get the fuck out of dodge. He pulled Tobi up by his arm and they exited to the right.
After what seemed like ages to Deidara, the first set of comercials popped onto the screen as he slowly finnished his last few skittles. He grunted and layed down, his head coming mere centimeters away from Itachi's right thigh. Itachi's gaze fell to the blonde quickly, glaring as a sudden reflex as Deidara reached up and poked his cheek, a goofy grin plastered upon his face.
"Do you want me to kill you?"
"Why are you so grumpy all the time, Itachi-san?" Deidara poked him again, Itachi activated his sharingan as a warning. Deidara cackled simultaniously. He poke Itachi one more time, before standing up and walking to the other side of the room and hiding behind the television.
"Im not grumpy, Deidara. Its a weakness to show emotions."
Deidara came back and sat becide Itachi, wrapping his arm around the Uchiha's shoulder with a huge smile on his face. "I like the way you think, Itachi-san, yeah." He chuckled again stroking his chin, as if he were thinking hard about something.
"I dont like the way you dont, Deidara." Deidara started at him, stopping his stroking motion, not removing the hand from his chin.
"Hmph. I think, yeah." He pouted, as Itachi removed Deidara's arm from his shoulder and returning to his program, crossing his arms. Deidara's grin returned as he wrapped both arms around Itachi's waitse. "Aw, I still like you, yeah!"
" In what place does it say you can?"
"Good point, yeah."
"..." Itachi turned his gaze back at the blondes confused features.
"But i still like you, yeah!" Deidara said cheerfully.
"In what sence of the manner, Deidara?"
"Good point... Yeah." His smile returned as he got up, walking over to a stack of CDs and looking through them.
"..." Itachi's eyes followed him motions.
"As a friend, yeah. Even though i still hate your eyes." Itachi now payed more attention to the flashing screen, then the blonde now.
"Most people do, Deidara." Itachi stated, plain as day.
"What? Like you, or hate your eyes?" Deidara looked back at him after he found the CD he was looking for, though he didnt intend on doing anything with it.
"Hate my eyes."
"Ah." He walked back over to Itachi, pulling him up by his arms and started dancing and singing Frontline by Pillar. Itachi waited until the blonde was done with his singing. Deidara then tried mking Itachi dance with him, closing his eyes to not get trapped in the Mangekyou (Sp?) Itachi didnt do anything as Deidara jerked his arms in random directions.
"What the hell is it that you are doing, Deidara?"
"Trying to dance with you, yeah."
"If I dance with you.. Will you let me finish watching the movie thats on?..."
"Maybe..." Deidara smirked, keeping his eyes closed, noting that Itachi didnt re-deactivate his Sharingan.
"I guess thats as close to a yes, that im gonna get." Deidara nodded and started humming, Itachi sighed. Wretching his arms out of Deidara's grasp and moved them on his own, reluctantly.
Deidara stopped everything he was doing, contimplating a thought in his head, before he pounced on Itachi, wrapping his arms around his chest and under his arms and legs around his waiste, causing Itachi to fall backwards and onto the couch. Deidara giggled like a little girl and looked up at Itachi's agrivated looking face.
"You can watch your movie now, yeah..." He said smiling, leaning his chest on Itachi's chest. Itachi sighed again, eyes turning to the movie that grew more and more less interesting by the second. That and Deidara's big hair was in the way. If only he was a Hyuuga...
Itachi turned the television off, looking down at Deidara with a small glare on his face.
"What is it, yeah?" Deidara looked at him, his psychopathic grin turning into a psychopathic frown, as he stared into Itachi's red eyes.
"What is it that you want, Deidara?" Itachi asked, moving his hands behind him, wrapping them around Deidara's ankles.
"Nothing really?"
"Well, can you at least move your legs, if you're not going to get up?" He stated more than asked, pulling on Deidara's legs. "You are making it quite uncomfertabal for me..." Deidara blinked, moving his legs out from under Itachi's waiste.
"Whatever, yeah..." Deidara's temperary little hyper streak was wearing off sooner than later, it must have something to do with the type of skittles Tobi gave to him. Itachi leaned back slightly, eyeing the top of Deidara's head, closing his eyes.
"You smell nice, Deidara... You smell like strawberries..." Itachi said calmly and quietly, opening one eye slightly to see some of Deidara's reaction.
In return to the compliment from the man who never gives compliment, Deidara lifted his head up, looking at him with slightly wide eyes. He waved one hand infront of Itachi's face. Itachi, getting annoyed with the action, grabbed the hand to stop all of its movements all together.
Deidara stared at Itachi, confused, not noticing Itachi's other hand slowly raising up and placing itself on the back of his head.
"What are you doing, yeah?" Itachi answered by pushing Deidara's head down and slowly started smelling Deidara's hair.
"What does it look like?" Itachi continued.
After awhile, Deidara accidentally fell asleep, as he always does after a sugar rush, Itachi also fell asleep, in the postion they where in.
In the kitchen, Tobi pushed a button on the camera Zetsu gave him for his birthday. Turning it off, he turned to face Kisame, who was trying to contain his laughter. Tobi gave him a thumbs up, signaling that he got every moment caught on tape for future use.
"This is going to be fun using in the anual, Akatsuki new years film show. Huh Kisame-san?" Kisame nodded still holding back his laughing fit.
"What if they would have gone abit further?..." Tobi asked, once the thought occured to him.
"I dont think we would be alive if they did..."
"Good point... Lets go before we get caught..." Kisame agreed, they walked out of the kitchen slowly and quietly. Once out of harms way, they heard a loud crash.
"Holy fuck!!! What the hell is going on in here!?!?!" It was Leader. It would be safe to say that he just walked into the main room of the base.
A safe bet indeed, seeing as Deidara and Itachi ran out of the room and into the hall as a huge wall of flames came chasing after them. Once they stopped, Deidara colapsed from having no energy left in his body. Kisame, Tobi, and Itachi looked at him oddly and Itachi then shot a glare at Tobi.
"This is your fault!!!" Itachi yelled as he activated his Sharingan.
"How is it my fault Itachi-san?" Tobi backed away, waving his hands in the air like Alphonse Elric would when he gets in trouble.
"You gave him the skittles... Whic caused all this, Tobi. Thats how!" Kisame also backed away, but out of Itachi's way.
"Tobi, you moron, yeah..." Deidara mumbled in his sleep.
And the day went on, Itachi chasing Tobi around the base, Deidara stayed on the floor as Kisame watched from the sidelines. Leader worked on repairing the living room. With the help of Zetsu and Unnamed mamber. Hidan ate some popcorn after a ritual of his, and Kakuzu counted his money again.
A normal day in Akatsuki headquarters...
That was the final outcome from my line of duty... Sorry lemon fans, there was no lemon. Not even a lime... So dont sew me, because i was thinking about it... Any way... Hope you enjoyed.