When she first started with the Titans, Raven could count the amount of times she had been hugged on one hand. Actually, one finger was probably a better description. And as any other neglected child would, she felt that displays of affection were strange and overbearing. In fact, the first time and only time she had been hugged by her mother, Raven had thought she was attempting to strangle her.
Coming to Earth, she had picked up that it was a sign of affection. Families exchanged them as greetings and farewells. Lovers flung their arms around each other with such reckless abandon that Raven was almost scared by it. And then there were the friends. Every once in a while they would pull another close, just to show a soft love. A reminder that they cared.
After joining the Teen Titans, Raven soon gained her second hug. Starfire had learned the custom from a television show and decided that it was extremely necessary to create bonds with her new "friends". It was morning when Starfire knocked on her door. It was only a week after the Tower had finished being built, and Raven's new room was littered with boxes of books. She had opened the door tentatively, still not used to the idea of living with others. Raven had slid the door open with her powers, and was immediately swept into a bone-crushing hug. A few of the cardboard boxes imploded, and books spewed everywhere. Little did she know that this morning greeting would be the first of many courtesy of Starfire. The young sorceress had avoided her other female teammate for the rest of the day, terrified she would do it again.
The next team member to use that particular method of friendly affection had been Cyborg. Everything with the half-robot was so casual. The cold persona he had put up at the beginning was quickly swept away as he became more comfortable around his new team. He was joyful and very fun loving, and went almost out of his way to make sure everyone else was having a good day. When she came down for breakfast a few months into her new living arrangements, she was surprised and slightly annoyed to find herself being scooped up off the floor and squeezed to the chest of a half-robot in a very good mood. It didn't take very long for Cy to understand how uncomfortable it made Raven, and stuck to the occasional shoulder bump and half-smile.
Robin liked hugs about as much as she did, Raven knew that for sure. She noticed the scowl that crossed his face whenever Beast Boy or Cyborg would tackle him or pick him up off the floor in brotherly shows of affection. However, she noted a new reaction whenever Starfire wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. His jaw would slacken slightly, and the rest of his muscles would tense slightly. A blush crept onto his light-colored cheeks, and his Adam's apple bobbed as he convulsively swallowed. It usually took him a moment to tentatively hug her back. Raven was very intrigued in their interactions. She had never seen anything quite like it before. Against her usual judgment, she had actually let down her empathetic shields one day and dipped into the emotions. Immediately, she was attacked by waves of attraction and awkward embarrassment. It made her stomach flip happily, and she gasped as a tiny blush colored her cheeks. She spent the rest of the afternoon in Nevermore discussing what these new mystery feelings could be.
For the next few weeks after this occurrence, she had kept up her emotional shields around Robin and Starfire. It never ceased to amaze her how something as simple as a hug could send so many endorphins rushing to his brain at once. Raven read up on the science behind this, why this affection brought up these odd side-affects. When these didn't give her the desired knowledge, she went out to a magazine stand at the edge of town and purchased one of those teenager magazines with the ridiculous titles and too many colors. From this she learned of a "crush" and how to figure out if they "liked" you back. Raven found it very shallow, but also felt an intense need to know more.
She kept a great deal of her research to herself, so not to seem odd and cut off from regular society. Raven began spending more time in the common room, pretending not to pay attention to the television shows and movies her teammates enjoyed. In reality, she was paying very close attention to the relationships portrayed in media, much like Starfire did. But unlike the alien, Raven took the interactions with a grain of salt. It was make-believe, after all. Still, she was greatly intrigued by the people in the shows who either slowly or quickly developed "crushes". It all seemed rather trivial in hindsight, and Raven ended up deciding that feeling that way for someone was pointless and generally ended in some form of tragedy. That, and her powers would never let her. The extreme emotional mood swings these characters adopted would never be something Raven could handle. Her training in Azarath had made sure of that.
Raven never initiated hugs, even as she got closer and closer to her teammates. They were her family, and she loved them dearly, but they all had to understand that she liked her personal space. For the most part, they respected this and stayed a good distance away. Raven appreciated this. Of course, she tolerated Starfire's enthusiastic greetings and Cyborg's friendly nudges, and every once in a while enjoyed Robin's friendly pat on the back. This was quite enough for the young sorceress. It was just the right amount to assure herself that they loved and appreciated her while respecting her desire for space.
Beast Boy, however, never seemed to catch on to this idea. The young animorph seemed to always feel a need to be in constant contact with everyone he encountered. Beast Boy's many forms helped him in this endeavor; sometimes he would curl up on one's lap as a cat or rest on the shoulder in the form of a green macaw. Raven attempted to accept this at first. She told herself that this was just how the boy showed affection. Perhaps he hadn't been handled very much as a child. Raven could relate to that – although she had moved to the other end of the spectrum.
But Raven was not known for her patience, and Beast Boy wore what little there was extremely thin. She began to snap at him whenever he came within her allotted space, much to the imp's glee. It became a challenge: how close could he get before being yelled at? Her general dislike of the boy grew immensely over the next few years. Snapping turned into yelling, which in turn became physically pushing him away, usually with magic. This never deterred him – if anything, the small green boy encouraged it.
There were days when their arguments were merely friendly banter. The twosome would exchange quips like rehearsed comedians, Raven always coming out on top. She would never let the boy know how much she enjoyed these sessions; it would only feed his already swollen ego. And then, there were the days where it was absolutely impossible for them to get along. They'd yell and scream – insulting each other at every turn. A slamming door here, a harsh smack there. The day Raven met Malchior was one of those days.
They were both in bad moods that day. He probably hadn't really meant to hurt her feelings when he called her creepy, but had certainly succeeded. It made Raven feel isolated and alone, which in the long run probably drove her to put trust in the charming book sorcerer. Malchior was so similar to her. He had a deep understanding of magic and how it felt to be lonely and misunderstood. Raven was intrigued from the beginning, and even began to recognize some feelings that had been dormant for a very long time.
She should have known that her developing crush on Malchior would never turn out well. But with all of her research, she had never expected such feelings to be so strong. It was as if a force pulled her to the paper man, a connection forged so deep in only a matter of weeks. Raven found herself becoming a version of the love-struck girls populating every form of media. Whenever this thought crossed her mind, she pushed it away in disgust. What she and Malchior had was different. There were no cartoon hearts floating around her head. She was not one of those shallow, frilly girls who fawned over every mood the object of her affection made. Malchior was more than simple affection. He was…perfect.
Out of everyone, Raven should have known that perfection comes with a price. But she could never have known how high that price would be. The second she realized that her trapped lover had been lying to her – that he had used her – Raven felt absolutely betrayed. It was such an intense emotion; a horrid mix of fury, grief, and total bewilderment. Her powers boiled just under her skin, threatening to overwhelm her. In fact, if she had not spent the past two weeks aligning her emotions, they most likely would have.
She defeated him. It was an incredible feat on her part – bringing an ancient, evil creature to its knees before a fifteen year-old girl. But the pain she felt was much stronger than she had ever thought it could possibly be. In the movies, she saw the girls curling up in a ball and sobbing, perhaps clutching a stolen sweatshirt. This was not how Raven felt. Instead, she felt hollow. She knelt in her partially destroyed room, staring at nothing. Her muscles felt like stone, and her breaths barely lifted her chest. Thousands of thoughts flew across her mind all at once, becoming an insistent buzzing at the back of her mind. Raven could not focus. She could not think. Wasn't she supposed to cry? But there was nothing.
He was the last person she expected to show up at her door. But then again, shouldn't she have expected it? Beast Boy was the one who lacked the concept of personal space. She could feel his presence – he needn't knock. He spoke to her door, his voice careful and soft. Raven wasn't sure why he was there, why he was apologizing for wrongs he didn't commit. But her empathy detected a steady thrum of sympathy. He knew. He understood.
"I'm sorry he broke your heart."
Broke her heart? It was a ridiculous metaphor. Breaking one's heart suggested that they would be unable to live afterward. Raven was still living. She was still breathing. And yet, there was that dull ache in the center of her chest. Like something had been torn from her grasp, and she still couldn't realize it was gone yet.
Raven wasn't ready to take this boy's sympathy. Wasn't he the one who, only a few weeks earlier, called her the most hated adjective? And she called him out on this, for no reason other than stubbornness. And to her surprise, he responded with a maturity she never would have thought him capable. He affirmed her accusation, that she absolutely was creepy. But that didn't mean she was on her own.
"You think you're alone, Raven. But you're not."
And these words resonated within her, stirring her emotions and prodding a response. It was so unlike her. But she had never felt so much gratitude, so much affection for one person. The door slid open, revealing him to her. She took two steps forward and wrapped her arms around his figure; the first time she had ever initiated a hug.
Considering how few people had actually hugged her, Raven could remember how each and every one felt. Her mother was cold and distant, her slender arms barely around her daughter for more than a second before she drew away. Starfire's embrace was quite literally crushing. Her alien strength nearly cracked Raven's fragile rib cage, and her pressing heat was burning against Raven's cool skin. Cyborg was also strong, but seemed to be more in mind of it. His hugs were very distinct – it is not often one is held to a metal chest with huge metal arms. Malchior had been wispy and fragile. Raven remembered quite clearly; it had been like a gust of wind had wrapped around her.
Beast Boy was solid. It was one of the most comforting sensations she had ever felt. He was there, and it was intensely obvious. His body was warm beneath her touch, and she could feel his strong heartbeat through his chest. She would never admit how much she enjoyed pressing herself to him, her arms tight around his neck. It was on her own terms, this breach of space. Beast Boy was still and somewhat tense, obviously surprised. He let her hold onto him for a moment before grabbing her shoulders and gently pushing her away.
The expression on his face was in fact not one of surprise – it was one of shock. His jaw hung slack, exposing his protruding fang. His large, round eyes searched hers. Really, she didn't entirely understand why she had done what she had, but Raven was aware of one thing: it was very, very right.
It was not a crush; not at first. It was more of a mutual respect – a bond, if you will. She found Beast Boy sticking up for her more often, and even discovered herself letting certain things slide. She didn't hug him again for a very long time, which her green friend did not seem to mind. However, this did not stop him from hugging her to a point of annoyance. She'd never admit how much she enjoyed feeling his arms around her.
The incident with Adonis and the Beast put a lot of things into perspective for Raven. It was quite a terrifying experience, considering she was attacked in her own room by a monster straight out of a child's worst nightmare. She was unconscious for a great part of this time, something Raven was more than thankful for. She would get the details later – how her team found her and Beast Boy missing, tracking a beastly creature into the Jump City sewers, seeing her limp body dangling from its slavering jaws. And then the great revelation – it was Beast Boy, who apparently had little memory of the experience. They thought he had attacked her.
Raven immediately knew this was not true. The creature that had attacked her in her room was not Beast Boy. Being an empath, Raven could sometimes recognize an emotional "fingerprint" in people she spent a great deal of time around. Beast Boy's emotional fingerprint was one Raven could feel through walls. That beast did not have that fingerprint. Its emotions were wildly carnal – lust, hunger, and anger. However, when Beast Boy's creature "attacked" her the second time – while she was in a deep, coma-like meditation that came with all of her major injuries – there were none of those feelings invading her psyche. Instead, she distantly picked up possession and a resonating fear. Beneath that was Beast Boy's presence; although buried incredibly deeply.
As soon as she woke and heard one side of the story, Raven informed her team of hers: Beast Boy was not hurting her, he was protecting her. The Team, minus her, went off in search of Beast Boy and whatever had actually attacked her. Raven spent this time by herself to sort through exactly what this meant. When she had felt the Beast's aura, it was as if there was a second, much smaller one buried within the first. She surmised this to be Beast Boy. They were one and the same, but at the same time two separate entities. If Raven had to sum it up, she could assume that this Beast was a collection of Beast Boy's primal thoughts and urges. Vaguely, she drew a parallel to herself and her Rage.
One thing was perfectly clear: one of Beast Boy's deepest drives was to protect her. To keep her safe. Raven wanted to believe that she was over-thinking this, but all of the facts said otherwise. This Beast, the sum of Beast Boy's most primal parts, hadn't recognized his own Team. It saw them as a threat. So why had it picked her out specially? Why did Beast Boy need to keep her safe?
When Beast Boy was stabilized and Adonis (the real beast) was put away, the green boy seemed utterly ashamed of himself. She wanted to speak to him, to thank him somehow. He was sitting on the shore, where he always seemed to end up in times of personal crisis. And she was there for him.
He divulged his fears to her. Raven realized that Beast Boy was quite aware of the Beast's new connection to him, although maybe not as familiar as Raven was. He was afraid he had hurt her. He was afraid of losing control. She once again assured him that it was not he who had attacked her, but Adonis. This did not seem to cheer him up very much. So she tried again.
"Having that thing inside you doesn't make you an animal. Knowing when to let it out – that's what makes you a man."
His lips quirked up slightly. "Hmm. Maybe you should call me Beast Man from now on!"
She forced the smile off of her face. "We're having a moment. Don't ruin it."
Raven's feelings for Beast Boy built up much slower than they had with Malchior. She was dimly aware of the progression and was not very happy with it. She had just solidified a friendship with him – why would she think to jeopardize it with ideas of something more? It was absolutely ridiculous. Thus, the milestones associated with most crushes happened over a long period of time, and were buried beneath multiple layers of denial.
Beast Boy noticed no change. He carried on messing with her as usual, engaging in arguments and pushing her personal space boundaries. Raven responded as she always had: with threats and insults. But their arguments rarely escalated to fights, as they had so often before. There seemed to be an understanding between them; an unspoken vow to watch out for each other. The rest of the Team was oblivious to this subtle change in dynamic. Raven suspected Robin had noticed, but the Boy Wonder never pointed anything out. She was grateful. The last thing she needed was someone wondering why she was being "nice" to Beast Boy.
The upcoming event of her sixteenth birthday and the subsequent return of Trigon became more and more of a source of worry to Raven. She'd begun to hear whispers in the back of her mind; her father telling her that it was almost time. This was her destiny. Raven wanted to ignore it – she really did – but there was really no use in doing so. And when the emblems appeared on her skin, red and inflamed, Raven had to face the facts: she was going to destroy the world.
She couldn't let her team know. They'd be one of two things: overly cocky, believing their group of five teenagers able to defeat an eons old demon, or worse, afraid of her. That was one of the things her father murmured to her. They would be terrified of her. She was a monster. They would abandon her as soon as they learned about her horrid secret.
And the worst part of this was that she believed it. Every word. So when her sixteenth birthday loomed on the horizon, she wanted to lock herself away and pretend she wasn't counting down the minutes until the awful day was over. Naturally, the fates would have this not be. She had tried so hard to conceal her birth date, but he had found it out anyway.
Raven had considered it next to impossible to find her birth date, which was stated exactly once in her private profile. Ideally, only she and Robin would have access to it. Possibly Cyborg. So when Beast Boy explained how he may have done some snooping on the computer and then gone and set up a surprise party, Raven was furious. This horrible, awful day was not to be celebrated. Beast Boy was aggravating a tender situation, and now she was angry. In retrospect, she realized that Beast Boy and the rest of the team had only meant good things, but for the time being she just wanted to be alone and sulk.
After the Slade ordeal, when he told her that there was no way for her to escape her destiny, Raven lost even more hope. Robin was adamant in helping her after the incident, claiming that the Titans would do everything in their power to protect her and the city. It wasn't optimism, but a deep determination. Still, Raven could not find any trace of hope. After that day, she slowly began to mourn her life and the lives of her friends. She could not save them.
They found out, of course. She could not hide forever, and Slade made everything ten times worse. The moment they discovered that the gem was her, each one of them vowed to protect her. Cyborg even built a "panic room" that was supposedly able to withstand the force of her powers. But as far as she was concerned, it was all for naught.
Raven could immediately tell the particular day her father had decided to inflict his power. The bright red emblems on her gray skin burned, and there was a constant thrum at the back of her skull. It was to be her Team's last day on Earth. But because she loved them, she would make this the greatest day possible for them.
She cooked them pancakes, which turned out as blackened, bubbling circles the taste and consistency of tar. When the alarm sounded, she took care of the threat as quickly as possible, despite its toll on her powers. They went for pizza, and a walk in the park. Raven had until sundown to allow her friends a memorable last day, her father had promised that. And yet, she was still surprised to see the solar eclipse. Raven should have known about her father's penchant for finding loopholes in every bargain.
It was so touching, how incredibly determined her friends were to defeat Trigon. She tried to tell them, tried to warn them how pointless every attempt they made would be. They did not listen. They loved her too much. But it was Beast Boy who seemed the most optimistic. Before they could leave her in that room built to protect her, he ran back and grabbed onto her wrist. Pushing open her fingers, he placed the penny he had found earlier into the palm of her hand. "For luck," he intoned, a warm smile on his face. And then he was gone. And as she clenched it tightly into her fist, Raven wished she had been able to hug him one last time.
The defeat of her father was nothing short of an absolute miracle. She had spread out her power evenly among her teammates before leaving to sacrifice herself for the portal, originally intending to save them from the worst of the damage. They had followed her to the chamber, and she used the last of her power to put up a shield to protect them. The penny was still clasped firmly in one hand. A great deal of the next few hours were a haze of dark terror. And then, when she had regained her wits and memory, brought back to life by the Boy Wonder, she realized exactly what she was capable of. And without her fear and submission, her demonic father was powerless. It was incredible. Raven felt re-energized. Never before had she imagined such a tremendous victory. She was at home within herself. Her emotions were aligned once more. She felt hope.
Beast Boy was confused. He pointed out her smile, and the fact that she was hugging Robin. At first, Raven thought it was the usual joking, until his overly suspicious mask melted away. "Are you still…you?" His emerald eyes searched hers, looking for some sort of confirmation. She smiled again.
"My favorite color is still blue. And don't get used to the smile, because you're still not funny." It was intended to be a friendly quip. Still, she felt a little guilty when his jaw went slightly slack. Had she been too harsh? They had just been through such an intense experience, surely he –
All worries were thrown away as Beast Boy leaped at her, letting out a cry of sheer delight: "Raven!" He attached his spindly arms around her shoulders and squeezed her into him. His warm cheek was pressed to hers, muscles taut with what was surely a large smile.
She didn't hug him back; not in front of everyone. But inside she reveled in his solidness. His realness. They were both alive. The world had not ended. And so maybe she could let him hold onto her for a few moments, even if it was in front of the entire city. Because, at least for a little while, they had lost each other.
The next year or so, as the Brotherhood of Evil began its awful conquests, Raven learned a lot about Beast Boy. It was only fair – hadn't he and everyone else learned all of her secrets just the year before? She learned of his insecurities, primarily his tumultuous relationship with his previous team, the Doom Patrol. He acted differently around them; a little more humbled. It was odd for Raven to witness. She had known Beast Boy to be such a wild boy, with absolutely no filter on his immature thoughts. But here, in the presence of the people who raised him, he displayed…what? Respect? Maturity?
Negative Man (or Larry, as he insisted to be called), filled Raven in a little bit on Beast Boy's time with the Doom Patrol while they played one of their chess games. Raven asked very careful questions, not wanting to sound too interested. Larry either didn't notice or didn't care; the man seemed to like telling stories. Every once in a while, when they were in the vicinity, Elasti-Girl or Robot Man would chime in.
"I can't really remember how old the kid was when he came to us. Pretty young. Anyway, kid breaks in! I was totally dumbfounded when we found him eavesdropping on a meeting in the main ops room. How'd this weird green kid get in past the security systems? So we go to grab a hold of him, and he turns into a bird." Larry chuckled, his bandaged face barely moving. "We were surprised to say the least. But Steve wanted to detain him, because apparently our meetings were top secret." A huff, as if the prospect was ridiculous. "Took three hours to catch him. Kept turning into all of these tiny little things. His attempts at escape were actually pretty interesting. We almost lost him a coupla times. Steve wanted to call the cops about a runaway kid. Never mind the fact that he was green and could turn into animals." Larry paused, face turned down to the chess board. "I half agreed with him. But Rita and Cliff wanted to give him a chance." He tipped a piece forward. "Next thing I know, Beast Boy is a part of the Doom Patrol." In this time with the Doom Patrol, Raven also learned Beast Boy's real name: Garfield. Which was mildly amusing.
In the face of one of the most expansive evils they had ever faced, Beast Boy became surprisingly competent. In fact, Raven could go as far as to say he had saved them all. But she'd never tell him that; his ego was already too large.
Throughout this all, her feelings for Beast Boy remained steady, thrumming hot and bubbly beneath her skin. It certainly didn't help that the green boy was becoming more of a green man. They were all growing up. Robin turned eighteen, grew a foot taller, and decided he didn't want to be Robin anymore. He traded in his traffic light suit for one of black and blue, and started to slick his hair back. Now he was Nightwing. Starfire, who had done most of her growing in her chrysalis, grew her hair out even longer and traded in her skirt for a pair of slick shorts. Cyborg upgraded his systems. Even Raven grew a little bit, now the towering height of five feet four inches.
But in Raven's opinion, Beast Boy changed the most. It was probably because she had met him as a shrimpy thirteen year-old with a squeaky voice, and he had stayed that way until he turned sixteen. Suddenly, Beast Boy was taller than her; almost taller than Nightwing, but not quite as tall as Starfire. His skinny, awkward body filled out into lean, wiry muscle. His boyish face suddenly gained angles, no longer soft and round. And because of his usual lazy attitude toward hygiene, there seemed to be perpetual green scruff on his jaw. And even as all of this was happening, Raven still was thoroughly embarrassed of her horrid crush on the green twerp.
In fact, she didn't realize Beast Boy had become attractive until it was shoved in her face. They were battling Cinderblock, a relatively standard fight. And while Raven was mid-mantra, the insufferable cement man swatted her with a massive hand, sending her crashing to the street. Raven was stunned for a moment, groaning in pain. Azar knew the bruise she would get.
"Raven!" It was Beast Boy's cry, suddenly right beside her. She opened her eyes – when had she closed them? – and came face to face with her teammate. The sun was right behind his head, making the ends of his hair glow. Her eyes searched his face for a second, breath caught in her throat. When had Beast Boy become beautiful? The changeling looked practically angelic, the partially blocked sun highlighting shadows on his cheekbones and jaw. His large green eyes glittered with worry, and his protruding canine pressed down against his jade lips. The sunlight bounced off of the tips of his ears, something particularly interesting. She hated to say it, hated to even think it, but damn, she dug the ears.
"Are you okay?" he asked, sliding an arm underneath her shoulders and placing his other hand on her waist. It was a standard position for helping up a teammate. They had done it a million times. But for some reason, his touch suddenly felt too intimate, too close. Raven blushed, instinctively putting a hand on his shoulder to help herself up. The bunching of Beast Boy's muscles as he pulled her up made her stomach twist dangerously.
"Um, yes," she blurted out. She was concentrating so hard so not to accidentally destroy something with her powers that little black spots were dancing at the corners of her eyes. Beast Boy pulled away from her, one eyebrow raised.
"You sure?" he asked. "You look super dazed." Raven blinked a few times. How had she ever spoken to him before?
"I must have hit my head," she mumbled. Was she staring at him? Why was he giving her such a weird look?
Beast Boy's ear twitched. "Uh, maybe you should chill. I think we're about to wrap this up anyway." It was true: Starfire, Cyborg, and Robin were landing blow after blow on the stone golem. A standard victory was mere minutes away. "Do you want me to take you home?"
"No!" she said, much too quickly. Azar, how had she gotten so awkward so quickly? She thought of the feeling of Beast Boy's muscle beneath her fingers, and another blush came to her cheeks. "I mean, I can take care of myself, Beast Boy."
He still looked concerned, eyes flicking from her to the battle and back to her. "Whatever you say." He shrugged and morphed into a falcon, soaring up to Cinderblock's face. Raven waited on the sidelines for a moment, making sure they didn't need her. As soon as the massive being was vanquished, she took refuge in a portal directly to the Tower. She needed to meditate.
When Raven had admitted to herself that Beast Boy was attractive and she was indeed attracted to him, things went mostly back to normal. Every once in a while, Raven's powers would go a little haywire, but no one made any correlation to a possible interest in Beast Boy. Of course, her teammates had suspicions.
Starfire was the first to confront Raven. It was during their weekly girl's night, something Raven had consented to after years of the alien's pleading. Starfire was painting Raven's toenails while the sorceress read a book. Usually, Starfire would babble on and on about something inane, usually having to do with Nightwing and his emotional constipation. But tonight she was silent. Raven pulled her book down, casting a questioning gaze on the other girl.
"Something on your mind?" she asked. It was partly out of politeness – Starfire was an emotional time bomb. It was best to get it out quickly.
Starfire was quiet for a moment, painting a small purple flower on Raven's big toenail. "Yes, something has been on top of my thoughts," she said, not meeting Raven's eyes.
The sorceress waited for her to elaborate. She didn't. "What is it?" Raven asked, growing mildly impatient. She was also a little intrigued. Starfire was never so quiet.
"I was just doing the thinking," she said after a moment, capping the nail polish. "And I have realized that you have not done the chasing of men." The alien woman glanced up, her bright green eyes sparkling mischievously.
Raven scoffed, going back to her book. "I'm not interested in dating anyone, Star."
Starfire curled her slim fingers around the book and pulled it down slightly. "Why not? The rest of the team has involved themselves in the nights with the attractive friend." Raven blushed and wished she had her hood with her.
"I just don't find anyone attractive," Raven grumbled. This conversation was about to take a very dangerous turn, she could feel it.
Starfire chewed her bottom lip. "Raven, it is scientific fact that the hormones present in an adolescent human's body make them more likely to desire sexual attention from an attractive peer." Raven cocked an eyebrow. Starfire shrugged. "I have done the studying. Nightwing requested that I learn the education of sex before we perform any of the acts."
Raven shuddered inwardly. "That's the last time I want to hear about "sex acts" between you and Nightwing," she deadpanned. "And like I said, I'm just not interested in anybody right now." Raven had always prided herself on her lies. Even Cyborg and Nightwing could only detect one out of ten.
But in that moment, Starfire saw right through her. "I believe that your denial of interest in the men is a farce," she said, a small smile pulling at her lips.
Raven blushed. "When did you become a walking thesaurus?" she snapped. Starfire ignored the taunt, following her previous train of thought.
"But since you do not do the out getting very much –"
"Hey!"
"– if you were interested in someone and did not want to tell me, it must be a teammate!" Starfire's eyes brightened, if that was possible. Raven grimaced.
"Starfire, this is ridiculous. Why would I be interested in –"
"It is friend Beast Boy, isn't it?" Starfire interrupted. Raven blinked a few times, her mouth open in astonishment. Taking this as a symbol of for her being correct, Starfire squealed and flipped up into the air, her red hair following in a graceful arc.
"This is most glorious, Raven! You and Beast Boy would be the most adorable couple! You can do the double date with Nightwing and I!"
"Star–"
"Do you think you will someday perform the ceremony of marriage? I can make traditional Tamaranian blorglog! Oh! Can I be the honorable maid?"
"St–"
"Perhaps one day you will have your own little bumgorfs! Ooooh they will be the darling!"
"STARFIRE!" The alien finally stopped circling the ceiling, a question in her eyes. Raven let out a breath and smoothed her hair back. "You are thinking way too far ahead. Who says I even like Beast Boy?" Starfire settled back down on the end of the bed, looking slightly disappointed.
"I was doing the assuming again," she murmured, her bottom lip pouting slightly. "I apologize. Friend Cyborg says that it makes a donkey of us both."
Raven didn't bother to decode the phrase. "Apology accepted. But why do you think I like Beast Boy?"
Starfire shrugged one shoulder. "Well, he has become quite attractive," she intoned. "And you do seem to enjoy watching him." Raven blushed. Had she been that obvious? Her teammate giggled. "Also, he makes the blood pool in your face."
Raven pursed her lips for a moment. "Let's say – hypothetically – that I am interested in Beast Boy. There would be nothing I could do. My emotional coaching won't allow me to show any excessive feeling. It'd be dangerous for both of us."
Starfire smiled softly. "Perhaps it is worthy of the risk."
For the rest of that week, Raven tread very carefully around Beast Boy, especially when Starfire was nearby. If the green teen noticed the change, he said nothing about it. However, one night at the dinner table, it became apparent that someone else had.
"Would you pass me the rolls, Beast Boy?" Raven asked, keeping her eyes on her plate.
"Sure," the green teen responded, passing the bowl of bread into her outstretched hand.
"Thank you."
Cyborg slammed his fork into the table, effectively skewering it. He stood abruptly, the chair behind him falling over. "I don't know what's goin' on," he began, voice terse. "But I'm about five seconds from Crazy Town."
"What are you talking about?" Nightwing asked, focused on the fork sticking out of the wood.
"Yeah, dude, what's up?" Beast Boy seemed genuinely concerned, but still kept eating his spaghetti.
Cyborg's gaze fixed on Beast Boy. "You!" he shouted. "You and…her!" He pointed an accusatory finger at Raven, whose eyes widened slightly. "Y'all haven't said anything mean to each other all week! The silence has been driving me crazy! What the hell is happenin' here?!"
Starfire blinked a few times, a spot of mustard on the corner of her lip. "I do not understand. What is the 'Crazy Town'?"
Nightwing jerked the fork out of the table. "I don't know why you're complaining, Cy. It's nice to have the Team not arguing. We work better."
Cyborg's human eye twitched. "It ain't right!" He whipped around to face Raven, nearly flipping the table as he did so. "Who are you?!"
Raven narrowed her eyes. "I'm being polite, Cyborg," she hissed. "It's common courtesy."
"You ain't never treated Beast Boy like an equal! I don't think he even knows what courtesy means!"
"Hey!" Beast Boy piped up, throwing his utensils down on his plate. "I do so know what courtesy means!"
The half-robot's lip twitched. "Then what is it, Beast Boy?"
Beast Boy crossed his arms over his chest. "It's how people act in court rooms!"
Nightwing coughed, obviously covering a laugh. Starfire looked terribly confused. Raven couldn't help it – she chuckled.
Immediately, Cyborg turned on her. "DID YOU JUST LAUGH AT HIS JOKE?"
"No," she said, a little too quickly. Cyborg threw his hands in the air and walked away from the dinner table. The door slid shut behind him. A silence fell over the kitchen.
"That was weird," Beast Boy commented. Nightwing nodded, his gaze fixed on the doors. Starfire contemplated her plate of mustard-soaked spaghetti.
"I'm going to my room," Raven announced, standing. Just as she opened the portal, she heard Starfire say, "Will someone please explain the 'Crazy Town'?"
The solace of her room was only mildly comforting to Raven. It would only be a matter of time before someone bugged her about the scene at the dinner table. Her head throbbed with the sudden onslaught of stress. Raven floated off of her floor and onto the space just above her bed, crossing her legs into her usual meditation position.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos," she murmured, closing her eyes. "Azarath Merion Zinthos." Considering her years of practice, it did not take very long for Raven to enter meditation. Usually these sessions were quiet and collective; aligning her powers and calming her emotions. However, because she was stressed, her emotions became much more…vocal. Voices began to trickle from the corners of her mind, progressively getting more distinct.
"When I get my hands on Cybutt, I'm gonna wring his neck for embarrassing us!" Rage snarled.
"Can't we just pretend that nothing ever happened?" Timid whispered.
"We should probably tell Cyborg what is going on," Knowledge reasoned. "And Nightwing. They'll be –"
"And BB! Let's tell BB about how funny his joke was!" Happy cried eagerly.
"Can we also tell him he has a great ass?" Affection drawled.
"Who else liked the spaghetti?" Rude belched.
Raven's eyes shot open. Nothing was going to be accomplished with all of that disarray. The sorceress used her powers to pull a book from her shelf and began a trek to the common room. At least when she was fully conscious her emoticlones shut up.
She carefully opened the door to the common room, slightly wary of anyone else being in there. At first glance, it was empty. She stepped inside.
"Hey, Raven," Beast Boy called from the kitchen. He was doing dishes, his back turned to her. Raven cursed under her breath. There was no way she was going to be able to leave now. How hadn't she spotted his emotional signature? A brief thought of the argument in her head reminded her.
"Hello, Beast Boy," she mumbled. He didn't say anything, much to her relief. Raven curled up on the couch and opened her book.
Very quickly, she discovered that the book was nearly impossible to focus on. Beast Boy was humming as he did the dishes, and Raven suddenly had the very strange urge to join him. She could come up behind him and wrap her arms around his waist. Maybe he was even dancing to the music in his head; she would sway her hips along with his. Then maybe she could curl her fingers around the hem of his uniform shirt, run her hands over his abs…
A pillow exploded into a cloud of feathers directly next to her, earning a surprised gasp. Beast Boy had stopped humming. "You okay, Raven?" he asked, concern filling his aura.
"I'm fine," she mumbled. Did he notice the shake in her voice? "Something…caught me off guard."
He was leaning over the back of the couch now; she could see him from the corner of her eye. "And you made the pillow explode…why?"
What was the use in lying to him? "Sometimes, when my emotions are very strong, I lose control of my powers for a second."
"Huh." The gangly seventeen year-old vaulted over the couch, perching next to her. The pile of feathers and fabric sat between them. Raven tried to focus on that instead of their proximity. "Like the whole Wicked Scary incident?"
Raven shut her eyes and began to massage the bridge of her nose. "Yes."
It was quiet for a moment. She could still feel his closeness; the boy practically radiated warmth.
"I, uh, talked to Cyborg." Raven's eyes shot open, craning her neck to look at him. Beast Boy was chewing on his lower lip, not meeting her gaze. "I told him that we got in a fight 'cuz I stole your cape, and you still hadn't forgiven me." Now he looked at her, a question in his eyes.
Raven drew in a soft breath. "Thank you," she mumbled. "I've been having…emotional struggles lately."
Beast Boy nodded, eyebrows creased. "Man, that sucks, Rae. I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," she mumbled. Even if it was, in a somewhat backward way.
And then Beast Boy did something she hadn't expected: he reached over and hugged her. It was somewhat awkward at first – her face was pressed uncomfortably into his shoulder and the pile of feathers between them was distracting. But Raven quickly forgot about that. All she could feel was the solidness. The same solidness she had held in her most trying times. She wrapped her arms around him, somewhat tentatively.
And in that moment, she vowed that she would never let him know just how much she loved him.
…
A/N – Hello, lovelies. I am somewhat stuck on Snippets, and sort of birthed this monster during my un-stucking process. I'm feelin' this'll be a multi-chapter story, but we'll have to see. I'm definitely posting a part two (BB's POV) so that'll be cool. And then maybe Snippets will get running again. Idk. Reviews make me a happy penguin btw ;)