"Um joe? Who's that and why is he standing so stiff in the corner?" On the far side of the room was a tiny little man with posture like a soldier and his eyes closed. He was kind of hard to spot in the cluttered debris that inhabited joe's lab but once you did find him it was hard to take your eyes off of the little cutie. maybe he's one of those cool robots that joe's always telling me about.
"Oh, hey Pete, didn't see you there"
The squeak of joes chair swivelling to face me wasn't a pleasant sound to say the least. He strode across the room to present the corner dweller, the little birds nest he called hair bouncing with every step.
"Come meet model number 26 of my latest invention: authenticator code p4tr1k" his nasally voice was dripping with pride
"P4tr1k? Like, patrick?" Patrick sounded nice, it suited him.
"Yeah, like patrick, im calling it baymax though" what? How in the hell did he come up with that?
"No way man that sounds stupid, you've gotta call him Patrick" there was an obvious flash of annoyance in his face but picking fights with me was like shouting at a flower, and of course joe learned that very early on in our years of friendship.
"Alright fine you stubborn little shit, I'll change the programming" the asshole plopped back into his horrid squeaking chair and probably typed in some sciencey crap that I didn't understand. with a clickitty clack of his keyboard, a quiet humming noise came from Patrick and then joe was back up again.
"Alright now hold still, let me show you what it does"
He slapped me, like actually slapped me with no hesitation. my cheek started to burn and I was about ready to punch him in the face.
"Ow! What the shit did you do that for you motherf-"
The futuristic hum from before was back, much louder this time, as Patrick came to life revealing a pale blue glow in his eyes.
"Hello. I am Patrick, your personal healthcare companion. I was alerted of a need for medical attention when you said 'ow'" wow, a surprisingly deep voice for such a little man. as Patrick stepped forward, an image formed on his t-shirt.
"On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your pain?"