Prologue
I'm Jennifer, Jennifer Uley. My dad's name was Joshua Uley, but that's all he was to me – a name. He bailed on my family when I was one; I don't remember him. My mom says he left because he was ashamed about not being able to provide for us. I don't know if that's true, or if my mom is just trying to protect us kids from the truth.
So taking care of us – me and my brothers, Sam and Embry – was all up to my mom. She did the best she could. After Sam graduated, mom killed herself. From the note she'd left us, I realized she was just waiting until Sam was old enough to take care of Embry and I. I kept the note and had memorized it. It read:
Sam, by the time you're reading this, I'll already be gone. You're the leader, now. Do me a favor and take good care of Embry and Jenny. Try not to hate me for what I've done – I love you.
Embry, be a good boy and listen to what Sam tells you. He'll take care of you. Jenny, don't forget me, and try not to judge me. I just don't know what else to do. Looking at you especially is like looking at your father, and the pain is just too much to bear. I can't stay. I can't stay, but I love you all.
According to the death note, my mom loved me. Loved me, but couldn't bear to look at me. Sam told me it wasn't my fault, and I tried to believe him. But it was in black and white, always in my pocket.
Sam did his job, for a while. He did his best to take care of Embry and I. Then, something happened; he was always gone, always busy, never around. He still did his job – he made sure there was food in the house and clothes on our back – but he didn't give us what we needed the most. We needed a parent, and he wasn't one.
Embry and I pulled together. Things were almost better again, but Embry disappeared after school one day. He was gone for a week; when he came back, he wouldn't talk about what happened. He was just like Sam – close-lipped, somber…sad, somehow. They changed physically, too; both of them got huge. But that was nothing compared to how they changed, emotionally. It was like they were protecting me by staying away from me.
I was confused, hurt, and lost. I didn't know whether I should blame myself for my life – I mean, I tried to be good. I went to school. I didn't get into trouble. But I was so alone. I cried every night. No one cared; the village elders assigned people to watch us kids, but they only concerned themselves with me. They left my brothers to their business. And, when the ladies had helped cook for me and helped me clean, they would go home to their families, and I'd be alone again.
Sam's back, now. He's living in the house again. It would have made me happy, but he wasn't alone – he'd brought his new fiancée Emily along. Emily tried to help me, but it hurt that my brother saved all of his love for her. Love all over, but none for me.
I'm being melodramatic. I know.
But sometimes, it really does feel that way.
Author's Note: I'm reposting this story after it's been beta'ed. A lot of work is going into this story, so if you would be so kind, please leave a short review and let me know what you think. Thank you!