The lights were out in the apartment. Outside the small window behind his back light still filtered through. Trigleph never really went completely dark. It was something Alvin had adjusted to once more since returning and staying there more often than not. He had a small place there now—a little out of the way from the others.
The space served him well for working and keeping his own hours, but when spare time came around it gave him too much time to think. There was a lot to process. Doing business with Yurgen could be frustrating at times, but mostly because poor relations between the Elympios and Rieze Maxia. Yurgen was a good guy though. Probably too good for Alvin's sorry ass.
That kept him up. There was more lately however. Jude's business, Leia being a handful, now Ludger's mess and this other Milla. Especially the other Milla.
He let out a sigh before he let himself go down that path. Sleep had to be the goal here. And yet the more he tried the more it seemed an impossibility.
With a groan he rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling; still in bed and no luck in sleeping. It was quiet beyond the street noises outside for a few minutes then came the familiar buzz of his GHS.
Alvin rolled back over to his side and grasped at the phone on the nightstand, flipping it open and checking the new message over. He wasn't sleeping anyway.
Quite unexpectedly it from Jude. He'd assumed it was some emoticon riddled half-question half-enigma from Leia.
The message within was short and to the point—typical Jude.
"I know it's late. I wanted to ask you something if you have time."
Alvin knew he wasn't going to be asked for advice anytime soon. The only things he had over Jude were height and years; the kid was plenty mature enough on his own not to need advice. Still, sleep was far off and now he had curiousity on top of it.
"Anytime is good. I'm an open book," he texted back. His gaze remained on the message for awhile—at least until the back-light on the phone dimmed. He could picture it now—Jude was probably at the lab keeping himself up working and sending messages. He'd punch text in and back the whole thing out to try it again to get it just right. That seemed too perfect. He answered slower than Elize and Leia did for sure.
After a few long minutes Alvin's GHS buzzed again—Jude once more.
"It's about the other Milla. Not our Milla. I've been thinking about this."
That he didn't expect either. He'd still caught it more than once though. The kid acted tough enough, but he still spent time plenty attached to the original Milla of their dimension. This new Milla had her face and figure. Her personality was something else instead. To find that instead of the Milla he knew distressed him. That pained look in his eyes every so often was pretty hard to look at.
Then again Alvin wasn't sure if he were much better. Before he could reply Jude sent another message.
"What do you think about her?"
Jude had to be dodging this, but trying to draw Alvin into it still. A bitter smile crossed Alvin's face. He was still a kid at least.
"Trouble. But gets along with Ludger. He's taking care of her alright I think."
That probably didn't answer the kid's question. Alvin hope it'd draw out whatever the issue was. If he had to guess he would assume Jude probably thought about this Milla a lot. It probably kept him up too.
This reply back popped in faster.
"I'm not sure. Something doesn't seem right."
That did the trick at least. Where this would go at the end Alvin wasn't sure he wanted to tread down. It'd be easier to back out and let Jude handle it. Better to send it off to his closer friends; someone who wasn't going to say something stupid.
Alvin took one deep breath.
He answered the message.
"Ludger's a good guy. You can trust him. More than me right?"
Another slow breath. He let himself roll back once again and keep his eyes on the ceiling. It really should have been anyone else. He didn't want to think about their Milla right then either. Jude's answer let him know he couldn't avoid it.
"I meant about the other Milla. I don't know what to do about her being here."
There was really nothing either of them could do in that regard, but he got a hint of some feeling in there. It was just plain text on the screen of his phone and still Alvin knew. It was hidden behind short phrases and a clean text, but something of Jude's character peeked through. Jude who was gifted at moving forward wasn't sure how to proceed. It bothered him more than he was letting on.
"She's got her face and name, but it's not her. You can't do much about that."
After Alvin hit send he realized that probably seemed more harsh than he meant. He hurried to follow it up with a second message.
"Has a right to be there though. And you do too. She has nowhere else to go."
He had no idea if that would lessen the blow, but it might force Jude into some honesty. If he was going to ask he might as well just go for it. Alvin could tell though. From a mile away.
It hurt to see a familiar face that didn't quite greet him the same. One that did not smile his way anymore. This was someone who once stood very closely at his side and now wouldn't dream of stepping so close.
This wasn't their Milla of course. It probably felt like letting her go again all the same.
His phone buzzed a few times in quick succession as a few clipped notes came through.
"I know that. I'm not going away."
"Milla isn't back. I'm seeing her but it isn't really her."
"All I can do is try to help her."
From the last message Jude had to be trying to minimize all this. He had his answer and he was going to move on, but it didn't stop everything else going on in his head.
They all convinced themselves their Milla was fine. She might be back anytime. After all they had watched her sink once and return after; why doubt her? Logically everything should have been fine.
Even a genius like Jude couldn't be logical at all hours. Alvin was kind of relieved to see it, but it didn't necessarily make him happy either. The memory of what happened the first time they lost Milla was still fresh in his mind. He never really let it go.
She had no right to be so selfless and leave them to fend for themselves. His heart sank deeper. He recalled the cold look in Jude's eyes that day in Hamil. Smart, kind Jude was completely drained.
And Alvin himself...
The thought alone did enough to make him feel ill and weak. The gun was in his hands. The attack was all his. It felt like he lost his mind.
Neither of them were completely made of steel. They were human. They could bend and break by outside forces despite whatever fronts were put up. Even with all their differences he could understand Jude at least a little.
"Don't think you're obligated to get too close to her. Ludger is helping. I know you'll help her no matter what I tell you. You don't have to. But whatever you do I have your back. You know Leia and all them are behind you too."
He paused before sending a smaller message; maybe the most important one.
"Your Milla will be back."
Alvin set the phone down on the nightstand again and turned on his other side away from it. Jude probably wouldn't answer all that and go on to ask someone more qualified, but maybe it'd do for now. He couldn't work out why he was the one that got asked all this. His relationship with him was alright, but definitely rocky at times. It was Jude who offered his company again after all the lies, betrayal and fighting. Alvin didn't let himself forget that.
Maybe it could be a proper friendship. It'd only been a year, but maybe some of his trust was back. At least enough to ask him personal questions in the middle of the night.
As that dawned on him, the GHS buzzed once more. Alvin rolled back over and picked it up. The answer read fairly simply.
"I know she will be. But I want to help. It just hurts a little to see her."
It did sting a little. Probably for all of them. Definitely for Jude more than anyone though; Alvin would bet on that much. Still, the honesty made him smile just a hair.
"Does for most of us. She's different though and you'll see Milla again."
The wait for an answer wasn't unbearable; eventually the familiar buzz snapping his attention back up from the wall.
"I won't forget. I was just thinking too hard. Sorry to keep you up."
The text was short and a little clipped, but that wasn't unlike Jude. He probably felt better just talking to someone about it. Alvin briefly considered giving him a call but decided against it. He'd cheer the kid up and then let them sleep a little. That would work better than letting it close there.
"Was up anyway. Your feeling's normal. Once you've had a couple exes and you run into them after it all the idea is pretty much the same. You're fine."
Maybe it could have been funnier, but maybe the terms would work for him. Maybe they wouldn't. The answer is surprisingly quick.
"I know you're the expert. But not all of us are date-and-dash like you."
If anyone could text in sarcasm it was Jude. He didn't even need an ironic emoticon; Alvin could just feel the bite dripping from the first couple words of text. He let out a sigh that turned into a small laugh. The kid was alright enough to make fun of him at least.
"Ouch. You got me. I'll work on that. You work on getting some sleep."
That would do. That sort of answer always seemed to work somehow. Soon enough Jude's reply filled in that for him.
"Will do. Thanks Alvin. Goodnight."
There would be more sarcasm the next time they saw each other. He'd probably give him a nice difficult time about it and Leia would dogpile on it too. Ludger would get that bewildered look on his face and try not to take sides, but would get goaded into something somehow. And it would be fine.
It would be just fine.
"Anytime. Goodnight."
With that sent, Alvin fell asleep a little easier than he had for quite some time.
A few days later Alvin found himself working with Ludger, Milla and Elle. They had cleaned up another battle pretty easily and Ludger made a little headway into his impressively awful debt. Even for someone from Elympios with a bad gambling problem it was excessive. He did the guy a favor and didn't remind him though.
That day it seemed like those three were chattier than usual. There was some sort of fuss over who did the most—clearly it was Elle, Alvin vouched for her—and they started to move on. They did not get far before there was another break and Alvin stepped aside at least for a moment. He tried to look busy on his phone. He considered texting Jude to check in again, but held off. Out of the corner of his eye he noted the other two having a disagreement.
"Look at you. Your tie is a mess. Some high class agent you are," Milla huffed at Ludger; standing in front of him with her hands set at her hips.
"We were just fighting. How am I supposed to-"
She didn't allow him to finish. Instead she reached forward with both hands and fixed the tie herself. There was a stern look in her eye but a bit of red in her cheeks as well. Ludger's face looked like it might just set on fire at that rate.
"There. I did you a favor. You're supposed to say thanks."
"Thanks, Milla," Ludger got out after an almost too long second of awkward fumbling and staring at anything but each other.
"It's not a big deal. Just don't wear a tie if you can't even wear it right. Honestly," she said back at him before turning on her heel. "Let's go return this report in. I'm not standing around all day."
There was some unintelligent blurt out of Ludger before he followed after her. Elle lingered a second behind the other two, waiting for Alvin with Rollo at her side. "No time for slowpokes, Alvin. Come on," she insisted. Alvin hurried to catch up.
"Alright, alright. Give an old man a break."
"Rowen is old. You're just lazy."
"You caught me there. Which one told you that? Jude or Leia?"
"Both."
Alvin couldn't help but laugh. Even if they weren't there right at that moment they were jabbing him from afar. That was probably what friendship was all along: Long distance mockery.
As they walked down the otherwise quiet road Alvin tailed behind. Ludger and Milla waited up for Elle and carried on at her pace. They'd bicker a little—Elle would interject something and they'd joke and have some minor talk of another competition. It was always cooking something up with the three of them. Elle was happy to be the judge.
It became strange to watch. Alvin found himself understanding this Milla a little more. Different, but not her. It became hard to tell when she'd crack a smile for once. No longer the darker and sharper tongued Milla, but a happy, joking one again. One that might kid with anyone about anything. She might misunderstand some human business, but would keep interest and good humor in it regardless. It was close. For brief flashes he understood that look on Jude's face he caught.
Close, but not her. Not her, but she had a place here. She didn't deserve it any less. It didn't stop that silent heartache.
Almost, but not their Milla.