15 Minutes
by Mikkimikka
summary: Schedules are grueling for an idol. Sometimes they're lucky to get even 15 minutes of break time. This is a snapshot of those 15 minutes for Jinguji Ren.
Being an idol means precious moments spent standing behind the studio away from the screaming fans in the rain under a metal awning and smoking a cigarette. Almost everyone in the industry was a heavy drinker and smoker. Something about the conditions drove you to it, whether it be outside pressure or your own inner stresses. It was a relief, albeit temporary, but an easy one to take. Damned be the consequences.
Pit. Pap. Tip. Tap.
That was the sound of pelting rain against the awning. Dark clouds cast shadows along the walls. The only light was a single bulb by the door and the orange spark from the end of Ren's cigarette.
Slender, lean fingers pulled the cigarette from between slightly parted lips. Twin trails of smokes were exhaled through his nose. Ren let his head fall back against the brick of the wall. He raised the cigarette again, inhaled, and relished in the way it filled him with what he craved. Then he exhaled again, wishing that the stress would go along with it.
The door opened and the sound of voices reached Ren's ear. He didn't bother to straighten as he was joined by Natsuki and Syo. Syo let out a sigh as he reached in his pocket, pulling out a foil pack of cigarettes. While Syo busied himself with that, Natsuki pulled out his phone and began scrolling through his Twitter feed. In only a few seconds he found 2 Piyo chan pics to like.
"Natsuki, you smoking?"
As he asked it he was already lighting up. The next moment, the butt was between his lips.
"The time?" Syo asked, exhaling.
Natsuki didn't look up from his phone, "11 more minutes."
Syo bumped Natsuki in the bicep and Natsuki turned to look at the offered cigarette. The taller man waved it away.
"I don't need it," he assured him.
Syo shifted and looked at Ren who was now stubbing his butt out against the pillar that served as an ashtray.
"Did you hear about Cecil and Camus?" Syo asked Ren.
Ren chuckled. How could he not? It was the talk of the team, at the moment. Even the staff knew. Despite the no love rule, Cecil and Camus were in no way subtle. And it wasn't by any fault of the count. Rather, it was Cecil. He was too transparent, and affectionate. He looked at Camus with such love struck eyes that if Ren hadn't know the two were dating he'd feel sorry for the Agnopolis prince.
"Well, he's not discreet," Ren decided to reply.
"It's a little pathetic," Syo said.
"Aw, Syo-chan. I think it's cute."
Natsuki again didn't look up as spoke. He liked another picture of Piyo-chan. Paused. Then retweeted it.
Syo let out a frustrated sound then slumped against the wall. He looked up at the awning.
"I'd be lying if I'd say I wasn't just a little jealous," he mused. "Must be nice to have someone there for you."
"I'm there for you," Natsuki finally broke away from his phone.
Their eyes met for a second before Syo sucked his teeth and looked away. He brought the cigarette back to his lips. Ren noticed the little blush on Syo's cheeks, found it interesting, but said nothing.
Ren turned to go.
"I'm going back inside."
As Ren got to the door it opened, and he was met with Tokiya's disgruntled face.
"Excuse me," Ren said, stepping back to let Tokiya pass.
Tokiya looked tense. It was evident in the tight expression he wore even through all of that stage make up.
"You OK?" he asked.
"I need some air," replied Tokiya.
Ren took a glance behind him of Syo, still smoking, and Natsuki scrolling away on his phone. This time when Syo offered the cigarette Natsuki took it.
"You won't find it here," Ren said.
Tokiya passed by and Ren checked his watch. He opted to stay outside despite the rain. Tokiya didn't even look at Syo and Natsuki. They didn't look at him. The door closed behind Ren and he rejoined the other three.
"What's up? You look more than the usual amount of tired," Ren pressed.
Tokiya shook his head.
"It's nothing. I just needed a little break."
"5 minutes," Natsuki said.
He finished his cigarette and handed the butt to Syo who threw it out.
"You're going to ruin your lungs," Tokiya admonished.
Syo held out the pack to Tokiya in response.
"You're right. I'm done with them. Moment of weakness."
Tokiya stared at them for a fraction of a second, wavering, before taking them.
"I'm no stranger to that," he muttered as he turned over the pack and tapped it against his palm.
A broken cigarette came out. Frustrated Tokiya threw it back into Syo's chest. Syo caught it before it fell.
"I'm tired of acting!" Tokiya hissed.
The aggression in his voice was unwarranted and caught them all unaware. Ren and Natsuki stared in silence. Syo began to pocket his cigarettes but never let his gaze fall from his wound up friend.
Tokiya huffed, turning against the bricks, facing them. His shoulders shook. He leaned forward. Braced himself on his arm.
"I thought I left all of that behind, with HAYATO."
Ren spoke, "Icchi-"
"I don't even know what I'm trying to say right now and I don't know why I'm even saying it to you."
"Well, because we're friends," tried Syo.
"You can tell us anything," Natsuki nodded. "What happened? What made this come up?"
The door opened. An unnamed, at least to them, staffer poked his head out.
"2 minutes."
The staff member disappeared as fast as he came. He took no care. The door slammed shut behind him. It sounded too loud in the alleyway.
Tokiya said nothing else and Ren didn't think they'd have time to get into it even if he wanted to.
"This industry isn't for the weak," Ren attempted. "You wouldn't have gotten here if you were. You'll get through it. You got through it before, right? Because you're you."
"Yeah, Tokiya!" Natsuki agreed.
"I know," Tokiya said.
He moved his arm and stood, face towards wall. He let out a breath as if to stable himself. In a matter of seconds his back straightened and he no longer seemed burdened by his own weight. He looked at Syo.
"I'm calling your brother if I see you smoking again," threatened Tokiya.
Syo bristled, "Hey! He's not my keeper! Besides it's just a one time thing."
Natsuki laughed and Ren did as well. It was funny seeing Syo's reaction.
"OK! One minute! Let's go!" Natsuki said.
He slid his phone back into his pocket and pumped his fist.
"Syo-chan!"
He proceeded to get behind Syo and push him towards the door.
"OK! OK, already!" Syo fought against his friend but also allowed himself to go back inside.
In the scuffle he managed to turn back to Tokiya briefly.
"Here have it," Syo gave back the empty pack and broken cigarette to Tokiya. He then disappeared into the building.
Tokiya held the gift in his hand. Ren said nothing. Time was short. Tokiya would have to smoke it later.
Tokiya went to go but before he could through the door Ren grabbed his elbow. Tokiya looked down at Ren's hand then back up at his friend.
"I mean it, Icchi. You're strong," Ren said. "A little acting... I think that's part of our job, but it doesn't mean you're any less you."
Tokiya nodded, smiling a little smile. He didn't look a single bit world weary. Not as he had before.
Was he acting? Maybe, on some level. That was the level of Tokiya's professionalism. Tokiya had only allowed 5 minutes of his 15 minute break time to let his frustration show. Now he was neat, poised, the perfect idol. That kind of composure, of competence, revealed the amount of dedication Tokiya had put into his work. The man had talent.
"Thank you," Tokiya said.
They reentered the building. The door closed behind them with a silent thud. An over head light flickered slightly but ultimately remained on. The rain continued to pour with a pit and a pat. The show went on.
-the end-