So. Hi. Thanks for clicking the link to my story. XD This was written for the Fairy Tale Competition. Please don't flame - Ol' Voldy is pretty hard to write about. DX

I purposely made sure that Harry is OOC. He's kinda boring in the book at times, so I changed his personality. *cringes* I'm still not sure if that's allowed in the competition...

It is also very much AU, because this never happened anywhere in the Last Battle, and Dumbledore should be dead by now anyway.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay! Let's go! Here's the story! Enjoy!

Lord Voldemort, a.k.a Tom Marvolo Riddle, was standing in the Shrieking Shack, his wand held in front of The Boy Who Lived's face. Harry closed his eyes. He had a feeling that he was now going to become The Boy Who, Once Upon A Time, Lived.

"I find, that I cannot kill you, Potter, however much I try."

Harry froze at these words, his emerald green eyes snapping open to meet the snake-like scarlet ones in front of him.

"...It seems that the protection of your mother's love is currently very strong, though I am not yet sure why."

There was a silence, as the Death Eaters took in what he said.

Then laughter erupted.

Not from the Death Eaters, but from Harry himself. Although he was being held in place by a stone angel, he was still able to shake with laughter uncontrollably.

"You know that I can still cause you immense pain?" the Dark Lord hissed angrily. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Duh! If you couldn't cause pain, I wouldn't have felt the after-effects of the Cruciatus Curse," Harry said, rolling his eyes as though it were obvious. "For an all-powerful Dark Lord, you can be pretty dumb..."

Lord Voldemort hissed angrily, and Harry smirked. Operation Piss Off Voldemort So He Can't Think Straight was going pretty well so far.

Harry thought too soon.

Lord Voldemort swung down his wand, his face twisted in anger, as he shot a funny brown spell at Harry, whose eyes widened. This wasn't part of his plan.

The spell shot at Harry, and he doubled over in pain, writhing, but not screaming. For a moment, Harry thought it was the Cruciatus curse. But then he noticed it was different, more like taking Polyjuice potion.

Then, it all suddenly stopped, and Harry stopped writhing. He was panting, out of breath as though he had run a marathon. Which was a shame, because when he saw what he'd turned into, he wished that running a marathon would reverse the spell.

"There, just like the fairytale those filthy muggles must have read to you."

There was a silence, as the Death Eaters took in what he said.

Then laughter erupted.

This time, it was the Death Eaters who were rolling on the floor, banging on the soft, springy earth with their fists, tears streaming down their cheeks, as they laughed as though they were being tickled mercilessly. Harry gave them a look, then pouted as he saw what he had turned into, before shooting Voldemort a smug grin.

"Just as I said, for an all-powerful Dark Lord, you can be pretty dumb," Harry commented as casually, rolling his eyes, with a slight smirk dancing on his lips. Lord Voldemort hissed again.

"And care to share with me why you find my intelligence lacking?"

"Well, I didn't put it as formal as that, but sure," Harry shrugged. "You just said that it was like the fairytale 'those filthy muggles' must have read to me. And from that, I know that this is like 'Beauty and the Beast'."

Murmurs spread across Lord Voldemort's must trusted followers, as they wondered what 'Beauty and the Beast' was. Harry didn't feel obliged to explain.

"So, that means that if I go ahead, and go back, and follow what happens in the fairytale, everything will go back to normal!" Harry explained cheerfully, inwardly crossing his fingers, hoping against hope that his idea would work, and that revealing his plan would not bust it. Because that wasn't his whole plan. Oh no, his plan was more than that...

"And you think they will believe you are Harry Potter? You have absolutely no features to prove that. Do you not think they will simply believe you are an anti-Potter, intent on ruining your reputation?"

Harry groaned, while silently thanking the high heavens he was a good actor. Lord Voldemort smiled evilly.

"Come, my Death Eaters. Let the famous Harry Potter deal with the anger of his friends while they believe he is a fraud..."

Beckoning to his faithful followers, he turned into smoke, circling around Harry once, before taking off into the air, and out of sight, taking his cackling followers with him.

Harry rolled his eyes. Voldemort had conveniently forgetten to let the angel go back to it's original position, leaving Harry... still trapped.

He wriggled out of the angel's grip with a smile. Voldemort moving further away had made his magic weaker were Harry was. Crawling over to pick his wand up from where Voldemort had previously been, he grinned at the marvel of his plan. Voldemort had forgotten that he could simply answer a load of questions that only he would know the answer to, and everyone would accept him as the real, the one and only, Harry Potter.

Operation Piss Off Voldemort So He Can't Think Straight: Success!

Harry was sitting in the common room, feeling pretty smug. He no longer looked like the hairy monster from Beauty and the Beast, something Dumbledore amended immediately after checking he was the real Harry.

'Must be the first time I'm glad Occlumency even exists!' Harry thought happily. A quick session of going through Harry's mind (though Harry protected the many memories he wanted to keep to himself), and Dumbledore found he was not an impostor, much to Harry's relief. At times, Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes still made him feel as though he had done something wrong, even when he was completely innocent.

The portrait door opened, and Harry sat up quickly. Ginny entered, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

"So, how about a kiss to turn you from that ugly beast to a handsome prince?" Ginny joked. Harry pouted childishly. Telling Ginny about what happened was definitely a good idea. Not.

"Silly, I already am a handsome prince," he grinned, before leaning in for a kiss.

Eh. Failure. DX

Well, I tried, right?

One question though. Do you prefer Ginny and Harry as I presented them in this fic, or as they're presented in the books? Or only one of them presented as they are here? Please tell me your preference, because I'm thinking of writing another fic featuring HarryxGinny. XD

Buckets of love,

NumberOneNarcissist