A KROGAN HOLIDAY

Summary: Love really hurts when the Normandy crew visits Tuchanka for a krogan mating festival and meets an asari Spectre with an eerily similar crew. [A Mass Effect 2 fanfic]

Chapter 1

Invitation

"You have a new message on your private terminal, Commander."

Shepard accessed the terminal and opened a message ambiguously titled "Shepard." It read:

There's a festival happening on Tuchanka tomorrow. It's an ancient krogan tradition for a holiday that I've decided to bring back. Urdnot Grunt should come if he can. You're his battlemaster, so you can come too, and so can the rest of your crew. Not like you're busy.

-Wrex.

Shepard sighed and closed the message. Since picking up Legion her crew had had very little to do except stress in anticipation of the suicide mission; a krogan holiday might be the perfect thing to calm them down. But once the Reaper IFF was installed, Shepard wanted to gather up the last necessary supplies and head straight to the Omega 4 Relay. Every moment they delayed could put more colonists in danger.

It would be better for her just to continue what she was doing—scanning planets and making last-minute upgrades. And chatting with the crew, of course.

Kasumi Goto was startled when she heard the sound of her door opening. She turned off her interface and stood up.

"Shepard," she said. "Is there a problem?"

"No problems. Just dropping by for a quick drink. And it's been a while since I've visited."

"True. You can come in, if you like."

Kasumi gestured for her to enter. Shepard walked up to the bar and poured herself a couple shots from the red container. Then she turned to look at Kasumi, who was holding her interface in her hand. "Spending some time with Keiji?"

Kasumi smiled vaguely; Shepard couldn't tell if the question pleased her or offended her. "As usual." Kasumi was friendly and likeable, but she spent nearly all of her time in her room with the graybox that contained her dead lover's memories.

Shepard walked casually over to her, remarking, in a low voice, "I suppose I thought you would have given up by now."

Kasumi's smile vanished. "Why do you say that?"

Shepard shrugged. "It's been over a week. Aren't you tired of reliving the same old memories?"

"No. The memories are all I have left of Keiji now…and I will never be tired of him."

"I understand that after he died you were obsessed with getting his graybox, but now that you've accomplished that…don't you think it's time to move on?"

Kasumi stood and walked over to the window, facing away from Shepard. "I appreciate you offering advice," she said, her tone decidedly unappreciative, "but this is my choice."

"But maybe years from now you'll destroy the graybox, and you'll look back on this and wish you had buried those memories sooner."

"Respectfully, Commander Shepard, you don't know how close I was to Keiji…how close I still am to him."

There was a pause; Shepard asked quietly, "Do you think he would have done the same for you?"

"What?" Kasumi asked, surprised by the question.

"If he thought you were dead…"

"Thought I was dead?"

"If you were dead," Shepard corrected quickly. "If you had died, and…and it had been years…would he have held on to those memories?"

Kasumi cocked her head to one side. "Did you lose someone? Or, should I say…did someone lose you?"

Shepard's face hardened. "He wouldn't have waited for you," she said bitterly. "He might have kept your graybox, might have glanced at it occasionally, but a couple months later it would have been shoved in a desk compartment somewhere, and a couple months after that it would have been collecting dust while he started seeing some cute French doctor on the Citadel."

"Are you all right?"

Shepard smiled wryly. "I'm fine, I'm not being serious," she said; Kasumi couldn't tell if this was true. "In fact, I think the graybox is a nice idea. I just don't think I would care much for reliving the past."

"Then why did you…"

"I have some things to take care of. It was nice talking to you, Kasumi."

Kasumi frowned as Shepard left the room. The stress of the mission must be getting to her, she thought, lifting the graybox interface; then she hesitated, looking back at the door.

A few seconds passed; then, Kasumi placed the graybox in a desk drawer, and opened a book to read instead.

"Donnelly?"

"What?"

Tali walked over to where Kenneth Donnelly and Gabriella Daniels always stood. "I need you to go down and find a crate marked with this ID code and bring it up here." She handed him a datapad.

"D-down?" Ken repeated, frowning.

"Yes. Down the stairs."

"Oh! The…the stairs. But…why?"

"I told you, I need some supplies from that crate."

"Why can't you go down there?"

Tali folded her arms. "If you haven't noticed, I've been working all day on the Normandy's shield upgrades. You didn't seem very busy, so I thought you might be willing to help."

"Why not Gabby?"

"Kenneth!" Gabby hissed, poking him in the back.

"If you're that afraid of Jack I'll just do it myself," Tali said, reaching for the datapad; Ken pulled it toward himself.

"Wait a minute," he said quickly. "Nobody said anything about being afraid of Jack. I just don't like being asked to carry boxes around. Now, I know that I'm the only man in engineering, but that doesn't mean you can make me do all the manual labor around here. If you…"

"You are just afraid of Jack, aren't you?" Gabby asked.

"Just give it back," Tali said impatiently.

"No," Ken said. "I'll do it for you, but just this once."

"Bring it up when you've found it," Tali said, sighing and walking over to the mass effect drive.

"Kenneth, you idiot!" Gabby whispered through gritted teeth. "She's like a superior officer! What if she tells Commander Shepard that you're insubordinate?"

"Commander Shepard would have gotten the damn box herself," Ken said.

"You're making such a big deal out of this! Look, just go get it right now, or I'm going to do it."

"I'll do it, I'll do it." Ken started walking away; then he stopped and turned. "Gabby?"

"Yeah?"

"If Jack kills me, I just want you to know…I've always loved you."

"You will never grow up, will you?"

Ken chuckled to himself as he went through the door and down the stairs to Jack's lair.

"What's so funny?"

Ken's smile vanished as Jack emerged from a shadow, hands on her hips. "N-nothing," he stammered quickly.

"What are you holding?"

"Tali sent me to find a crate."

Jack snatched the datapad and tossed it on the ground. "I think that might take a little while."

"Jack, please…Gabby's up there waiting for me…so far she hasn't suspected anything, but…"

"Shut up and take off your clothes."

"But if she…"

"Didn't you hear me?" Jack snarled.

Ken sighed. "All right…"

Meanwhile, Gabby was indeed waiting for Ken. When he seemed to be taking longer than needed, she started to grow concerned, but then figured he was probably doing it on purpose to scare her. She managed to distract herself with her work until Tali walked over. "Did he go get the crate?"

"Yeah, but he hasn't come back yet. I think he's messing with me. He wants me to go down there looking for him."

"I'm sorry I ever asked," Tali mumbled.

"He's really not so bad," Gabby said quickly. "I mean…he just…you know…he…" she sighed. "Please don't tell the commander."

"I wasn't planning to. But I need that box, and if he doesn't…"

"I'll go get him, ma'am. I'm really sorry."

"Daniels…you and Donnelly do good work down here. You're great engineers, both of you."

"Thanks," Gabby said with a smile.

"Now I really need those supplies."

"On it."

Tali waited at her work station and Gabby went to the staircase leading to the sub-deck. She was about to call out Ken's name when she heard voices: Jack's and Ken's.

"Now get lost," Jack was saying.

"You could be a wee bit nicer to me, you know," Ken said angrily. "It wouldn't hurt."

"You know what would hurt? Being thrown into a wall by my biotics. Now I told you to get lost."

"All right, all right! And maybe I just won't come back!"

"Fine by me. I'll just find someone else to fuck. Maybe he'll be less of a weakling."

Gabby's face reddened and she covered her mouth. She could hear Ken walking to the other side of the sub-level; he would be going up the other stairs.

Gabby quickly hurried back to her post, where Tali was still waiting. "Is he coming?" she asked.

Gabby tried to speak, but she choked on her words and looked away.

"Daniels?" Tali said, concerned.

"Here you are!" Ken said, strolling over with the crate under his arm.

"What took you so long?" Tali asked, turning to him.

"Oh, Jack gave me a hard time of it. I'm lucky I made it out of there in one piece."

"Excuse me, I…I have to go," Gabby said suddenly; her face still obscured, she hurried away from the post.

"What's wrong with her?" Ken asked, frowning.

Tali shrugged. "She went down to see what was taking you so long, and…"

Ken's eyes widened; he dropped the crate and bolted after her.

He reached the elevator just as the doors were closing; Ken thrust his arm in and managed to get them to open again just in time for him to slip in. Then he pressed the stop button and faced her. "Gabby, listen, I can explain…"

Gabby's face instantly contorted with anger. "How could you, Kenneth? I've been friends with you for how many years now, and you do something like that…"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you! I…I was going to…"

"When exactly were you planning to tell me? And how long has this been going on, anyway?"

"Well, I…it was a day or two after she arrived on the ship, I…I got curious, decided to take a look down there. I mean, I knew she was supposed to be dangerous and everything, but I was just going to take a peek. I was pretending to look for supplies."

"You just wanted to see if she really was shirtless, didn't you?"

"Well, I mean…"

Gabby rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you."

"Anyway, it's not like I meant for it to go…like that! I just asked her a couple of questions, and then she…I don't know, she just…sort of blindsided me."

"Blindsided?"

"Yeah, like…I barely knew what was happening, until…"

"Even if I believed you, that doesn't explain why you went back."

"Well, I…it was…"

"You know what?" Gabby interrupted suddenly. "Never mind. I don't want to know. Just…leave me alone."

"Why are you taking this so personally, anyway? Why does being friends with you mean I can't snog anyone I like?"

"That was not 'snogging,' Kenneth. You told me you didn't go for that sort of thing, and then you hook up with Jack of all people and lie to my face about it…"

"I'm sorry. Really, I…I meant to tell you, I just…"

"You didn't. And I don't accept your apology."

Gabby slammed her finger on the "Deck 3" button, and an awkward few seconds passed in silence before she exited the elevator and went to her quarters, leaving Ken standing there with a grimace.

Garrus looked to the side, avoiding eye contact. "Can it wait for a bit? I'm…in the middle of some calibrations."

Shepard sighed, folding her arms. "Garrus…"

"We don't have much time left now. The Thanix Cannon needs to be perfect, or else…"

"We die? This is a suicide mission, you know."

"Yes, but hopefully the suicide part will come at the end of the mission and not the beginning."

"We'll be fine. Even Tali said your upgrades were nearly flawless."

"Nearly flawless."

"You really need to loosen up."

There was an awkward pause.

"You…were kidding the last time we spoke, right?" Garrus asked hesitantly. "About…sparring?"

"Was I?" Shepard asked with a smile.

"Commander…"

"I'm sorry, you said you were calibrating. I should go."

"All right," Garrus said, folding his arms and chuckling. "I'll see you later, Shepard."

Shepard left, smiling to herself and wondering if Garrus might be a bit more distracted during his calibrations than he had been before.

She started walking toward the elevator when she stopped and decided to go to the Life Support room instead.

Shepard was about to open the door when she chose to knock. Thane opened the door, looking confused.

"It's you."

"Hi. I, um…I always feel like I'm interrupting when I just walk in, so I decided to knock."

Thane smiled slightly. "I welcome your interruptions, siha."

"You still haven't told me what that means."

Thane hesitated, then gestured to his desk. "Please, come inside."

Shepard entered and sat opposite him. "So, is there anything you want to talk about?"

"Actually there is. I was wondering something."

"What is it?"

"When we were on the Citadel and you were talking to Captain Bailey, I spoke briefly with Jacob. He did not have very much to say to me, but…he gave me the impression that the two of you were in some kind of relationship. I…know very little about human relationships, so I recognize that I may have misunderstood."

Shepard's eyes lowered to the desk top and she shifted in her seat uncomfortably. "I don't know why he would say something like that to you."

"Then there is nothing between the two of you?"

"He is a friend," Shepard said forcefully, looking Thane in the eyes now. "Nothing more than that."

"I understand. I am sorry for troubling you."

"I'm glad you brought this to my attention," Shepard said, standing up. "I need to have a talk with him."

"Please…"

"I won't be hard on him, I promise. I just want to make sure we're on the same page."

Shepard left the Life Support room and went to the elevator; this time she wasn't smiling. She returned to the Main Deck and went to the Armory where Jacob was standing.

"Commander," he said with a smile.

"Mr. Taylor," Shepard said, straight-faced.

"Is…something wrong, Commander?"

Shepard sighed. "Jacob…you know that I want to keep things professional, right?"

"Well," Jacob said, folding his arms, "from our last conversation it sounded like you wanted things a lot less professional."

"I mean outside this room."

"I know you don't want word of us going around, and I haven't told anyone. I even lied to Miranda's face."

"I just…some of the crew has been talking."

"Some of the crew?"

"I don't want to name names."

"Well…no offense, Commander, but…maybe it's you."

"Me? I haven't treated you any differently than the rest of the crew…as far as they know."

Jacob smiled. "You bring me out for missions a lot, Commander."

"Your combat skills are an asset."

"We've got a lot of people with assets on this ship."

"Okay, so maybe…I like being around you."

Jacob took a step closer to her. "Then maybe we need to stop pretending this isn't happening."

"All right," Shepard said, coming closer to him. "This is happening."

"Good. Then we should let 'some of the crew' know."

Shepard's eyes widened. "Wait…no. We can't just…"

"Can't you just give me a straight answer for once?" Jacob asked, frustrated. "I keep getting these mixed messages from you…too fast, too slow…"

"I…I need time to think," Shepard said, rubbing her forehead.

"Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine."

"Shepard…I know Horizon must feel like a long time ago now, but if you…"

"No," Shepard interrupted sternly. "We are not discussing Horizon."

"All I'm saying is, if you need more time, you take it. I'll be here. At least until we all get killed on this suicide mission, that is."

"I'll talk to you later, Jacob."

"Commander."

Shepard went back to the CIC; unexpectedly, Kelly wasn't standing in her usual spot. Probably off-duty…probably asleep. I should do the same.

Kelly Chambers was not asleep.

"This is getting out of hand," the Illusive Man said, lighting a cigarette. "There's only so much longer I'm willing to stall EDI, but…Shepard isn't ready."

"I know," Kelly said with a sigh. "And it's even worse than I thought. She's completely distracted by her romantic interests. Ever since Horizon she's been building up these three relationships, holding onto them for as long as she possibly can even though she knows they can't all succeed…I feel like it would have been wiser not to sabotage her relationship with Kaidan Alenko."

There was a long silence. The Illusive Man regarded Kelly curiously with his piercing eyes, inhaling deeply from his cigarette. "You…question my decision, Miss Chambers?"

"I…n-no," Kelly stammered. "I misspoke."

"Good."

"Sir, I…what should I do?"

"It's your job to know what to do."

"But…"

"And it's my job to authorize it. So give me your professional opinion."

"All right…" Kelly thought for a moment. "It's not just Shepard we have to worry about. If we screw this up, we risk losing the loyalty of all three."

"True."

"She doesn't seem to want to make a decision, though, so this gives us an opportunity to make the first move."

"Also true. Although if we are making a move we should do so before the Normandy reaches Tuchanka."

"Tuchanka?"

"Haven't you been reading Shepard's messages?"

"Yes, but she ignored the invitation. She's told the crew she wants to focus on upgrading the ship and the squad's combat resources."

"My projections for her combat preparedness are extremely favorable. The Normandy and Shepard's squad have all the resources they need to survive the Collector forces. But I'm not convinced they're mentally prepared."

"I agree. But Shepard would never admit it."

"Then we force her to."

"How?"

"The Reaper IFF is a tricky piece of technology. EDI might have to shut down the ship's systems in order to fully integrate it…which means the Normandy would have to land on a friendly planet."

"Grounding the Normandy sounds like a good way to force Shepard to confront her personal problems, but…why Tuchanka? What exactly is this krogan festival?"

"The krogan have a tradition from long before the genophage of spending one day out of the year celebrating and engaging in ancient mating rituals."

Kelly smiled. "You mean…like a krogan Valentine's Day?"

"You could say that."

"But…that's a little bit ridiculous, isn't it? I mean…the fact is, there is a genophage."

"Nevertheless, I'm sure the idea will receive popularity…which is certainly its intention. And my intention is to give Shepard a chance to clear things up. This holiday will be the perfect opportunity for her to make her final choice about who she wants a romantic relationship with. We just have to make sure she chooses the right man."

"And who is the right man?"

"You tell me."

"She…she's still hung up on Kaidan. She keeps rereading the email he sent her. Not to mention his picture on her desk."

"And?"

"And I think Jacob is too much like a replacement Kaidan for her. She brings him everywhere with her; she likes it when he questions her decisions and offers a grounded moral center. But the fact that she's even considering other options…" Kelly shook her head. "She won't pick him. She's leading him on, and the sooner he realizes it the more time he'll have to recover before the final mission."

"Then what are you going to do about it?"

"I…don't know. I'm worried about him. I like Jacob a lot. I don't want him to be hurt."

The Illusive Man raised an eyebrow. "Miss Chambers?"

"I…sorry." She shook her head. "I know, I know, he's going to be hurt…she can't pick him. We have to find someone else for him."

"You think that's the best strategy?"

"Yes. Let him know someone cares about him."

"And who should that be?"

"I think that's obvious."

"I agree."

"Then you're the one who needs to tell her."

There was a pause.

"You mean Miranda," the Illusive Man said.

"Yes. That's who you were thinking, wasn't it?"

"No."

"But…I thought Miranda did care about Jacob. And even if she doesn't love him, you could certainly order her to at least distract him so that he doesn't feel bad about Shepard's rejection of him."

"Miranda is very loyal to Cerberus, but there are lines I don't cross with her. Mr. Taylor is one of them."

"I…had no idea. I mean…I thought I sensed unresolved tension there."

"There's tension, and it's unresolved, but that's only because Miranda wants it that way. And in this one case I'm willing to give Miranda what she wants."

Kelly guessed there was a lot more to this story, but knew better than to ask. "If not Miranda, then who? There are no other viable candidates on the ship."

"Of course there are. You said you cared about him."

"Oh…I…but…"

"You were trained for this."

"Not for Jacob specifically."

"He may not have fish to feed, but you're a resourceful young woman. Find a way."

"Y-yes sir." Kelly cleared her throat; the Illusive Man dropped the butt of his cigarette into an ash tray. Neither of them was aware that there was someone else on the ship with a crush on Jacob. "Well," Kelly said, "that's one out of the way."

"Are you convinced she is actually interested in the other two?"

"Yes. I wasn't sure at first, but earlier I reviewed the surveillance tapes. She could go either way."

"And which way should she go?"

"Well…Thane is going to die in a matter of months. That could be stressful for them both."

"You're considering the long term here. Right now I only care about the successful completion of this mission."

"Then…I don't know. She's much more serious with Thane. But I feel like she's more comfortable with Garrus. I don't think being in a relationship with him would introduce any unforeseen outcomes, and sleeping with him might just relieve tensions the way it's supposed to."

"I agree. Make it happen."

"But it's not that simple. We can't just find someone else for Thane. He's a…he's dying."

"Thane joined this mission because he's ready to die. If Shepard rejects him, he will probably be even more ready. I don't think his loyalty will be a problem."

"I…I guess you're right. But how do we convince her to pick Garrus?"

"You need to figure that out on your own. Now if you will excuse me, I have another call."

"All right. I…I'll get it done."

"I know you will."

Shepard's door beeped. She jumped in her seat; no one had ever come to her cabin uninvited before. Wondering who it was, and thinking of three men in particular, she rose from her desk chair and answered the door.

It was Miranda.

"Come in," Shepard said, gesturing inside.

"It isn't necessary," Miranda said, staying in place and folding her hands behind her back. "I just wanted to inform you that EDI is experiencing unexpected problems with the Reaper IFF. She wants to shut down the Normandy."

"What?" Shepard said, turning to EDI's console in her room.

EDI's image appeared. "All primary systems would be shut down for twelve to sixteen hours," she said. "The Normandy will be forced to land during this time."

"And this is absolutely necessary?" Shepard asked, sighing.

"Any attempts to incorporate the Reaper technology while all primary and secondary systems are active will take considerably more time. Projections indicate that under these conditions the Normandy would have access to the Omega 4 Relay after nine days."

"Then we have to land," Shepard said, rubbing her forehead. "Nine days is too long."

"Shepard, I came to tell you that the Illusive Man is aware of the situation," Miranda said. "He agrees that the best course of action would be to shut down the ship, and he thinks we should go to Tuchanka."

"Tu…" Shepard narrowed her eyes. "Did you read my private message?"

"Yes," Miranda said, completely straight-faced.

"Well…we seem to have nothing better to do. And the Illusive Man…why exactly is he interested?"

"He didn't explain his reasons to me, but I would guess he wants the crew to unwind before the final mission."

"I'm not sure how relaxing a shore leave on Tuchanka will be, but…all right. I'll tell Joker."