Summary: On Christmas, will Remus and Sirius get what they want most of all? MWPP.
Rating: PG
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Remus/Sirius, slight James/Lily
Category: romance, angst
Warnings: This is a slash story, which means romance between two guys. If you cannot handle this type of content, please do not read this story.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the story itself. Harry Potter belongs to Scholastic, Warner Bros., and the lovely and talented J.K. Rowling.
Author's Notes: This story is my first in a lot of ways - my first slash, my first Harry Potter, and the first story I wrote when I made a comeback of sorts to fanfic in general. Feedback is always appreciated!
As Snowflakes Fall
It was a typical Christmas morning at Hogwarts. Snow drifted down lazily from the cloudless sky as the wind blew softly. The few students and teachers remaining gathered together, none of them wanting to be alone on Christmas.
It was typical, except for one student. Sixteen-year-old Remus Lupin sat by himself in a corner of the Gryffindor common room as his friends laughed, joked, and caroused, taking full advantage of having the room to themselves for once.
"Stop it, James!" Lily Evans suddenly squealed, slapping her boyfriend's hand playfully.
"Come on, Lil, it's all in the spirit of the holidays!" James protested, laughing. Although Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew joined in on the fun, Remus still sat, watching disinterestedly.
He didn't know why he felt so miserable, especially on Christmas, it was just this... aloneness that ate away at him painfully. It was a feeling of discontent, of unfulfillment that clouded all his thoughts and made it impossible for him to join in on the festivities.
Suddenly a shadow fell over Remus, and he felt himself being pulled up roughly. His reverie interrupted, he glanced up, startled to feel his breath catch short when he realized the intruder was Sirius.
"Come on, Moony, you're such a downer," Sirius teased, attempting to drag the werewolf toward the rest of the group. He grinned playfully, and Remus felt as if he might faint.
That smile. Those eyes. Those lips.
He shook his head, both surprised and disgusted with himself. Where had those thoughts even come from? He pushed Sirius off, a little harder than he intended. "Padfoot, can't you see that I don't feel like playing right now?" he asked quietly, begging Sirius to both stay and go in one pleading look.
Remus' tone and manner shocked and surprised Sirius; he knew his friend to be depressed and melancholy at times, but he had never sounded so empty and alone. The two sat in silence for several tense moments until finally Remus spoke.
"I don't know what's the matter with me, Sirius," he said, staring off into the distance. "I just feel... lost. Confused. It's like... knowing that what you want and need to survive is out there, but you don't know how to get it or even what it is." He sighed, turning to face his friend. "I'm sorry. I'm probably making no sense, but..." His voice trailed off.
Sirius took his hand and squeezed it gently. "Remus, it's okay," he reassured him. "I think I know how you feel." Remus said nothing, but quietly drank in the comfort and stability his best friend provided. He refused to let go of Sirius' hand, but held it to him as if it were his dearest possession, stroking the fingers absentmindedly. Sirius noticed his friend's odd behavior, but kept silent. It was actually kind of... nice. He suddenly had a feeling, a longing to hold Remus close to his heart and take the pain away. And so he did, drinking in Remus' presence as he pulled him ever nearer.
Remus sank into the embrace, letting Sirius' arms enfold him like a shield. For the first time in days something actually felt right. Suddenly Sirius glanced up.
"Look, Remus," he said softly. "Mistletoe." Remus looked and blushed, ducking his head, but Sirius caught him by the chin and forced him to look into his eyes. Both boys felt their hearts quicken as fumbling, shyly almost, Sirius leaned in and dropped a quick kiss on Remus' lips, a kiss which exploded in Remus' heart and left him searching desperately for more.
Sirius watched anxiously as a smile slowly spread across Remus' face. "Let's try that again," he suggested mischievously, pulling Sirius in for a real kiss.
They kissed for what seemed an eternity, falling more in love with each new caress. And as the snow fell outside and the fire crackled within, Remus and Sirius felt they were home at last.