Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the Song belong to Daniel Begingfield, I'm broke and won't get any less so from this, so don't sue you'll get a hand full of lint at best heh
Author's Notes: Ok so I usually do this either vaguely or from the other PoV so this one is gonna be from Draco's PoV rather then Harry's…also ignore the wife bit it's husband, but 'eh we'll just ignore that won't we *G*… erm oh and standard AU/AR warning like comes with all my fics, this one around hmm lets say 'Voldie Comes Back' so yes Voldie's here, but 'erm this doesn't go with the books after 4 so OotP not so much on that one yep yep heh… Umm also no there are no pairing warning cause well there are no actual pairings: right now there is a onesided DM/HP –they do kiss- and a seemingly implied HP/GW –nothing is ever actually shown- so ya erm here we go *bounces off*
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
Harry said it was wrong, but he didn't care he knew he could make him see it would be ok. Draco knew it just had to be those muggles that he lived with, he would make him understand. After all couldn't he see it? Couldn't he feel it? He felt like a weight had been lifted from him, one that he hadn't even really known he had until now, it made him feel better in a way he couldn't put to words. Instead the blond just pulled the raven to him one arm around the other boy's waist as he lanced his fingers though his hair and kissed him.
He could feel his head skip at the first touch and quicken when Harry returned the gesture pressing closer to him and returning the kiss. See this just had to prove it to him that it was right and it was what should be. He could all but feel the best of the other boy's heart they were pressed so close and it almost seemed like it was beating some sort of odd counter to his own. Almost like they were beating to answer some sort of silent question the other had asked. A strange thought really, but one quickly pushed away by the hand on his chest.
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
He let Harry push him away not wanting to crowd him even if he didn't understand when he /kept/ pushing until he had let the raven go and he had moved a couple steeps away. Draco couldn't keep the slightly confused look from his face as he watched him. Harry looked good like that the blond decided grinning as he took in the sight of the other slightly flushed and breathing harder then normal. The grin and that nearly almost giddy feeling fell like a ton of bricks when the other boy spoke.
"No Draco. We can't do this it's wrong. It's not you it's me, I'm not gay." Harry shook his head when Draco opened his mouth to speak "Don't just don't Draco. I don't care if you like boys, but I don't. I'm not gay and this won't happen no matter how to try to convince me. It's just me, I can't. I'm sure you'll find someone. You don't need me."
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Draco snapped his mouth shut with an audible click from his teeth and swallowed hard. Sure he had heard the protest the first time, but Harry had been /enjoying/ the kiss. Hell he had even kissed him /back/ the bloody ponce. He could fell a sudden tight cold place in his chest and it made him want to turn and run until he couldn't run anymore. He met the other's jade gaze with his own and had to resist hard to not just reach out and pull him closer once more. There had to be a way this could work, bloody muggles and their fecking ideas this was all their fault he was sure of it. His gaze barely met the other boy's when Harry turned his gaze away and for the second time in so many minutes Draco felt his heart skip. It was too much, he didn't want to run, but he just couldn't understand it. He took a couple steeps before he turned and ran as far away from Harry bloody Potter as he could.
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
It had been a week now since that day, since the day that Harry had pushed him away and said no. It had been a week since the day that Harry bloody Potter had given him a line straight from some novel written by some ponce of a muggle writer. Apparently it was a line everyone loved though it was the "It's not you It's me." Line and really he wasn't, couldn't buy it. Still weather he bought it or not he couldn't stop the tears as he thought about it while he lay with the curtains pulled around his bed. Even if he was a Prefect he still had to share with the other sixth years much to his dismay, but the only difference it made to this was that he didn't let any sounds escape him. The tears came every day for the past week, every day when eh got back here and had time to think because frankly sixth year or no this work wasn't enough to tire his mind or body enough to make it impossible to do anything but think.
He knew he was starting to get looks from those who knew him better, but he didn't care. They probably just thought it had to do with Voldemort after all the only reason he hadn't taken the mark yet was simply because he was waiting till he ended school. Or rather that was what he had claimed and his father had agreed after all even if he didn't like the Old Coot who ran the place Lucas knew he would be more helpful the more he had had a chance to perfect. The longer the was here though the more he had taunted Harry and some how when he wasn't looking it had become more. Then his want to be with Voldemort had ebbed as his want for the boy savor grew and he had finally had it.
He didn't want to be against the one he had somehow come to love, he would much rather stand by his side with him and he had thought Harry felt the same when the other boy stopped trying to fight with him. Apparently he had been wrong. Apparently those dreams of his about he and Harry fighting and defeating Voldemort, the dreams of them bonding as husbands and being together for the rest of their lives had been just that dreams. If they were just dreams though then why did it hurt so? Why did it seem like some physical wound being torn open again and again every time he looked at the other boy?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
Draco didn't understand it, he didn't. If he didn't feel the same then way had he changed so much? Why had he kissed him back that day a month ago in the hall? The blond stood on top of a hill in Hogsmeade looking down at the boy savior where he was talking to the Weasley and that Mudblood, sure he had learned their names well, but he wasn't going to get close to any of them. He still hoped that maybe there was a way for Harry to accept his feelings and to accept that there was nothing wrong with them, but as things were he didn't know if he could be close to him at least not as close as he had been.
The war was coming fast and they all knew it every wizard and witch knew it was only a matter of time before everything would go to pot. Even if he knew that though he also just knew that he would make it to see the end and that Harry would make it to see the end of this, all this mess what ever it turned out to be in the end exactly. He still hoped to one day Stand by Harry's side, for them to have a home together somewhere and live as husbands. He prayed to who ever may be listening that his love would not be lost and would even be returned.
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
He didn't want to run he didn't not again, but Draco couldn't take it. Watching the raven down there so happy seeming with his friends, watching him day after day with that Weasely girl always near by. He didn't understand couldn't Harry see that the red head wasn't the one? Couldn't Harry see that it was him, Draco, who had been created to be his other half? Harry had said Draco would be fine, but the blond knew he wasn't fine, far from it in fact. It tore at him day in and day out seeing the attention he gave that little red head, the attention that should be turned on him. "Isn't there any way, Harry?" he questioned to himself in a quite voice as jade eyes managed to meet his over the distance. He could almost see the surprise in them actually even from this distance, but then that Weasley girl was speaking trying to get his attention and he couldn't stop himself. He turned and once more was gone before Harry could even think to stop him running into the woods around the village and apparating away one he was sure he was out of the line of sight of anyone in said village a faint pop the only thing left behind.
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
He stood tall in his black robe and white mask hoping beyond hope for the strength he needed to keep himself on his feet. This had been his only option he had known it. It was either stay in the school or this and staying in the school had become a non option so he had gone with the only thing left. He tightened his grip on his wand his other hand fisting, the tattoo on his arm almost seeming like a living thing as it seared him anew with his movement. He held his place though watching and waiting for what had been brewing for years now to start.
A familiar pair of jade eyes locked onto his for a second seemingly not recognizing him cause his chest to tighten and that hold that had settled that nearly a year and a half ago now when Harry had said no to deepen. Draco missed the raven like he did air when under the cruico curse when he didn't give Voldemort the answer the snake wanted. He had become rather used that happening now mainly for refusing to let the older man see into his thoughts, but this was a pain he couldn't even have a hope of getting used to in any way. His heart ached to be over there and not over here, but Harry had made it clear he couldn't be over there. He had made it clear when he chose what those muggles believed over him, when he chose that girl Weasley over him.
Even if he felt like he was going to die where he stood and even if he felt like he couldn't, /shouldn't/ still be feeling this he did all the same. It was wrong to feel this way for an enemy and even more so for the one who had already ripped out your heart, but he couldn't help it. He pushed that love back into its cage in the deepest part of his heart and mind hoping it would give him the strength to do what he had to. He couldn't be with Harry because the other didn't want him, but he had been training for this. He might be over here with Voldemort in body, but his mind and his heart were with Harry, always with Harry.
He had trained hard learning as many spells as he could and perfecting as many way to make people appear dead without them being so as he could. It had been hard practicing all that by himself, hard memorizing all that on his own and making sure no one else knew what he was up too. He put it to good use to. He was quick on the cast and even managed to 'accidently' catch a couple fellow Death Eaters with the spells he had perfected, namely his friends. It was a long battle and while he managed to save many with his hard work there were plenty of others who didn't just appear dead and he knew it. Still he kept going kept trying to do all he could.
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
In the end he wasn't sure how it had ended, the final battle between Harry and Voldemort he just knew without even seeing it that Harry had been the one to win and the one that was still alive. By that point there really weren't too many Death Eaters left and as the ones that were left for the most part were those who would never be swayed from this path and would fight to their death for the idea. Hearing a rather close scream he turned towards it out of reflex raising his wand at the same time bringing himself face to face with Harry.
The other had cuts and scrapes in plenty of place, a bloody eye, his glasses were missing, and his left arm was handing by his side useless and quickly turning ugly shades of purple. Draco himself probably looked as much a sight with his hair mussed from long ago losing his hood and mask; the slashes, scrapes, dirt, and blood that decorated his robe which hid the severity of most of the wounds; and the look in his eyes of utter defeat. Anyone else and Draco could have just 'killed' them but he couldn't even pretend to kill the other boy. He wand hand fell to his side like it was suddenly nothing more then a limp noodle and he kept his gaze on the other's just watching him.
He could clearly see the jade gaze widen in surprise this time, though he wasn't sure why. Was it seeing him here that caused the reaction? Maybe the other boy hadn't known where he had gone that day when he left Hogsmeade? No surely he had had some clue. So maybe it was that he would lower his wand when faced with an 'enemy'? Did Harry think so little of him as to think that he would confess love easily and forget it with distance? The blond didn't know, but he could see an all too familiar head of red hair running closer and he couldn't stay there. He wanted to explain, to let Harry know that at least part of the people who looked dead weren't he'd seen to it, but she was coming quickly and with her wand raised.
He met the jade gaze again and held it for a long moment, but a shout of Harry's name made him realize it was time to go. He was tired of running, but right now as with every time before this wasn't where he could stay. He wanted to stay by Harry's side sure, but she wasn't going to even give him the time he would need to try and make it happen. "I still love you." He informed the boy savior as he ripped his gaze away from those jade eyes and turned running away, a few seconds later and there was nothing left behind him but for a faint popping sound.
DMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDM
Author's Note 2: Hey Rose I did mention the whole more easily distracted then a green flit in a room full of shinies thing right? I was like ten minutes away from finishing when ya left me, but then ya left. Ya were gone a couple minutes when.. ooh posties *toddles off and starts on a couple replies*… ooh Wajas *toddles off from half started replies and plop down and gets to chatting*… Ooh Songgy *Toddles off from wajas blinking at the clock* erm wow where did four hours go… I did mention that room full of shinies didn't I…
Author's Note 3: See no actual pairing just a one sided thingy and an Draco assuming a relationship 'tween Harry and Ginny… Does this need a second chapter? I know it's a cliffie, but I'm not sure weather it should just stay that way or weather I should see if I can give it an appropriate ending… Thoughts/Opinions Readers on a yes or no for trying to find another chapter? I may or may not be influenced by thoughts you have on weather this should go Ginny or Draco's way, but yer free to offer those too…. Rose of course you've got my Gchat to toss me yer thoughts/opinions since I'm sure you don't have an account on here and nope sorry no DM/GW, but now that bloody song is stuck in my head and so is that thought so 'eh maybe after foodage or something I may try that too…