A/N: This was for the 'That Totally Random Moment' Competition by WiccanWeasley101 and my prompts were Aberforth Dumbledore, Lily Evans and the Gryffindor Common Room.

Disclaimer: Anything you recognise doesn't belong to me. Meaning that 'her friend Beth' does.

I sort of...subconsciously made it hint at James/Lily ._. Please R&R, and if you don't mind, rate the randomness of this piece: ?/5 :D

Professor Flitwick had just dismissed the fifth-years from Charms, and her friend Beth had rushed off to another class, so Lily Evans found herself walking back to the Gryffindor Common Room alone. She was staring at a bit of floor three inches away from each step she took, lost in thought. She thought about what the James idiot had said about her being 'the prettiest girl in Gryffindor and probably in Hogwarts' that she couldn't help overhearing, and how much homework they had, and what the Marauders had teased Sev about again during potions, when his potion had been the only successful one. (Even Lily's had remained a murky green, like something gross from the bottom of a lake - she'd have to remedy that immediately, of course.)

Realising she was nearing the portrait, she looked up to say the password - and was more than a little surprised to see Professor Dumbledore, one leg through the portrait-hole, shifting uncomfortably to get the rest of himself in. The Fat Lady watched in amusement.

"My, my, Aberforth. Why not just send the next student that comes around?"

"'S"okay," he grunted.

Ah, so it wasn't the Headmaster, but his brother. Lily rushed up. "Sir, is there any way I could help? I could pass a message, or if you're looking for someone - "

"No need, no need," the man waved a hand and and cut her off. Almost as an afterthought, he gruffly added, "but thanks."

Lily wanted terribly to help but she knew it would be pointless to insist on helping him, so she resigned herself to standing to a side while Mr Dumbledore struggled. Once he was through (no mean feat!), Lily climbed in and headed straight for the girls' dormitories, leaving several bemused students in her wake.

When she came down again, not five minutes later, those same students turned to her. "There you are, Lily, Mr Aberforth's looking for you!"

"No, he isn't!"

She clasped a hand over her mouth in surprise. She hadn't thought of saying anything like that! Was her mouth talking of its own accord?

"I was, actually. I wanted to inform you that you will end up married to a black-haired git." This time, Mr Dumbledore's hand shot to his own mouth. Apparently it wasn't just Lily acting up.

'Black-haired git' could refer to several people, including (but not limited to) Sev, Sirius Black and (shudder) James Potter. Ugh, creepy. Not to mention extremely random.

"If you don't mind my asking, Mr Dumbledore, why exactly are you here and what colour are your underpants today?"

That came out much too loud! And she hadn't meant to say anything of the sort! Lily could feel her cheeks burning as she buried her face in her hands. What's going on? Why can't I talk properly? She could hear the sudden silence around her and Merlin, it was deafening.

"Uh...I'm not wearing underpants today, actually," Aberforth confessed bluntly, eyebrows creased. His eyes widened and his fingers tried valiantly to pinch his lips shut, but it didn't work. Two lips appeared to overpower eight fingers plus two thumbs and unbidden words still escaped.

"...and a goat sent me to tell you you should dye your eyebrows electric green."

Lily couldn't take it anymore. It was like being in some awful pantomime! Thank goodness Potter and his gang wasn't here - no, wait, they were just coming down the stairs...

"That's nice to know, sir. I like your beard very much, please come again soon!"

Oh, this was absolutely mortifying! Lily dashed towards the portrait-hole and escaped before she could embarrass herself further. She ran to the nearest bathroom and locked herself in, trying to process what had just happened but finding herself unable to, for the first time since...since this morning, when James Potter had called her pretty.

James Potter. What was it Mr Dumbledore had said? "I wanted to inform you that you will end up married to a black-haired git."

Oh no.