Note: This story completely ignores the events of all games following Persona 3 FES. This is due in large part that I conceived this story a little over 4 years ago and feel as though integration with the current canon would be insanely difficult. In any case, please enjoy!
In the distance, he could hear her call out for him. Her voice sounded pained and desperate. Confused, he moved toward her although he could scarcely say for sure it was her; it had been so long since he had actually seen her, let alone heard her. Somewhere in the darkness, she screamed for him as though he was the only one who could hear. His body moved slowly, unwilling (or unable, he could not tell), toward the source. With each step, however, he found her voice grew distant. Aware that his chance was fading, he forced himself to quicken his pace but still she grew quieter and quieter until all he heard was the echo of the void separating them. He ceased his pace and fell into the darkness below.
/
Junpei awoke with a start, brow dripping sweat. Upon realizing that he was in his own bed, he relaxed and felt his heart's pace slow. He breathed in deep and felt the vividness of his dream slowly subside in favour of annoyance. This had been the fourth time this week that he dreamt about her. He flipped open his cellphone to read the time as an unhealthy 3:52. Inwardly, he groaned. Realizing from experience that the tenseness in his body would not leave him be unless he acted upon it, he carefully extracted himself from the futon as to avoid awakening Chidori. He tip-toed to the front door, slipping a jacket and shoes on before escaping into the fresh air beyond the front door.
Less carefully, he approached the balcony that over looked the street beyond. He breathed in deep and gazed out at the city lights before him. It smelt of industry and dirt; they did live in the cheapest area of town after all. He was exhausted. He could find no reprieve from these dreams as of late. Each passing night, he found it increasingly difficult to separate the waking from the dreaming and often opted to avoid sleep entirely as he found it futile.
Around him, the sounds of traffic bounced about. He leaned against the railing and rubbed his face gingerly. His body ached for rest.
It had been six years. Six whole, entire, years had gone by since Kotono left them. The only tangible memento he had of her was the photograph they took in the dorm, a high resolution copy of which was distributed by Misturu over email some years ago. Although he still found warmth in examining the picture occasionally, it had been years since he felt the tinge of true grief that had plagued him so many years prior. She had, of course, a greater purpose that they could not understand. He found solace in the idea that she may be happy protecting the whole humanity as opposed to the bunch of dumb teenagers.
And yet, about a month ago, the dreams began and they had become incessant. She was always screaming; she was always beyond his reach. At first he found the dreams merely disconcerting; perhaps something had triggered his memory. There was a new actress that had the slightest resemblance to her (in the nose, he remarked to Chidori one evening). But then two weeks passed of waking. Then three. Now, on the fourth week, he was at his wits end. He would find himself drifting off on break at work. Once he tipped over into his bowl of ramen.
He breathed again, growing increasingly frustrated with himself. He thought that he had grieved. He thought that he had moved on. But there he was, standing at 4 in the morning desperately willing himself to return to bed.
As the chill grew more persistent, he returned to the apartment. He was not surprised to find Chidori sitting up with the light on. Her face betrayed concern, although Junpei would be hard pressed to make anyone else believe him. They had been together long enough that he could tell her mood by the way in which she lazily titled her head.
"Again?" She asked, her voice soft.
"Yeah." Junpei returned removing his shoes and jacket.
Feeling the whole of gravity, he fell back into his pillow face first. Chidori placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"I hust can'f do it an'more." He complained.
"I cannot understand you." Chidori replied patiently. "Speak like an adult."
He turned his head to face her and whined, "I just can't do it anymore."
"And yet you remain." Her voice was soft and warm. "I believe that you will live to see another day."
"Chidori." Junpei further whined. "Have more sympathy. I haven't slept in weeks."
Chidori nodded solemnly, understanding the fullness of the issue. When she made no immediate reply, Junpei twisted his body into the fetal position and groaned. They had discussed this prior and made many attempts to aid Junpei's rest. At first, Chidori created a tea concoction that Junpei was sure stripped his taste buds. When this didn't work, Junpei sought sleeping pills but found they did little other than made him groggy enough to run into every wall he encountered in his waking life. Drinking only succeeded in making him hungover, guilty for his likeness to his father as well as sleep deprived. He felt as though he was out of options.
"I am doomed." He muttered.
Chidori raised a thoughtful finger to her and remained still for a moment.
"Perhaps," She said. "You should return."
"I can't return the sleeping pills, they're a prescription." Junpei said. "We can't get our 30% back."
"No, that is not what I meant. I mean to say that you should return to the dorm." She suggested.
Junpei's head snapped up from his position and met his met Chidori's. His head swam with the idea. It is true, it had been several years since he trekked down to the dorm. It had been since renovated into an apartment and its residents were as normal as possible. Junpei determined the last he had seen of it was when Yukari visited from university and was feeling particularly patient with him. She largely regretted the decision.
"It is likely you are dwelling on something that your conscious mind is unable to comprehend." Chidori continued. "By visiting, you might settle something in you that is particularly disturbed."
"Are you calling me mentally disturbed?" Junpei frowned.
"Only if you believe it to be true." Chidori returned flatly.
The thought struck him as good of a plan as any. Slowly, he uncurled and lay looking up to the ceiling. It would be strange to walk the streets he did in high school. He was, however, at his wits end and could not bear the weight for much longer. He looked toward Chidori again, smiling.
"Chidori, you are a goddess." Junpei said. "I like your idea so much I'll go as soon as the trains start running."
"No." She replied cooly, turning off the light beside her. "You can't."
Baffled, Junpei sat up as she lay on her side away from him, "But why? You just told me to do it."
"Because," She said. "You have to work in four hours. Go after."
Junpei fell to his pillow again, groaning loudly.
/
At just after seven, Junpei exited the train at Iwatodai station and made the short walk to the dormitory. He was full of nostalgia looking upon the sights that were once so familiar. He could remember the walk to school, where he and Kotono would discuss the latest episodes of the trendy anime at the time. It seemed to be a lifetime ago and his tired mind did not help in the full recollection of the little experiences that time forgot.
As he approached the elderly building, his mind quieted. He gazed upon the dark brick, looking for little signs that he once lived there. Instead, he found that his mind had fully separated what he was at that very moment from who he had been. A stupid kid, wrapped up in something much greater than himself. He grimaced in what was a mixture of a frown and smile and allowed his sleepless mind roll with every memory that passed by his mind's eye.
There had been a reason he had avoided it for so long. He truly did miss her. She had been his best friend, his rock and confidant. A faint measure of guilt rippled through him. He knew his yearning for her company was nothing compared to Akihiko's. He quickly tucked the thought away and moved to eye a particular spot on the pavement. It took him a few moments but he found it: her accidental shoe print.
He bent down to eye it closer. It was her school shoe. It had been during the summer of 2009 as they walked home from school one afternoon. She tripped herself up, bumped into him and into the setting concrete. How someone could so masterful destroy shadows and then trip on their own two feet, Junpei would never know. And he could never ask her.
A long sigh came from him. So far, this trip had done nothing but bum him out.
"Yukari-chan was teasing me about Akihiko." Came a voice near his ear. "She nudged me and I lost my balance."
Startled, Junpei stood up. He looked around for the source. There was a small selection of people populating the sidewalk but they were too far to have sounded so close. He sighed more earnestly, rubbing at his face with frustration. Another issue that sleep deprivation could claim. His heart beat uncomfortably in his chest. His brain was playing cruel tricks on him.
He lingered for another few minutes but found the previous experience difficult to shake. When the street lamps began to flicker to life he left, feeling as though the trip had been a waste of time.
/
He could hear her again in the distance, calling for him. This time, he ran to her. He could feel the tightness of desperation grow tight in his chest. He had to find her. Time was running out. The murky darkness grabbed at his feet and, yet, he persisted. He found his voice and called her name in return. He pulled at his legs, begging them to move further but found that the resistance was too great. He fell to his knees. The darkness began to envelope him. As he was sucked into the void, he could hear her one final time:
"Junpei!" She cried. "Junpei, find me at the shrine!"
Junpei felt ill when he awoke. A fierce chill had soaked itself into his bones. He pulled the covers closer and rolled closer to Chidori.
This dream had been much different from the ones previous. Her final words had scorched themselves into his mind. They repeated over and over. He felt compelled to obey but at odds with the reason why.
Chidori rolled over to face him. Although he could make out little more than her outline in the darkness, he could tell from her demeanor that she had been awake much longer than he.
"Go to the shrine," She murmured. "And find her."
She kissed him gently and said nothing further.
/
The following day had been Junpei's day off so he set out early to the shrine. Chidori had claimed no recollection of what she had said previously but did not protest when Junpei left the apartment before the sun had risen above the buildings. Indeed, she even provided him with a small packed breakfast and a tender pat on the cheek before he had left. Even after so many years, he was amazed with her.
On the train ride, he dozed enough to nearly miss the stop. Scattered, Junpei wandered from the train station and down the path to the shrine. Although the route was immediately different from what would be taken to the dorm, he grew confused at an intersection and began in the westerly direction as he had done the day before. As such, he found himself looping a lengthy detour before he arrived at the shrine proper.
The shrine was peaceful. As it was so early in the day, he was only among two or three other people. When the wind pushed itself against the trees the leafs slapped against one another to create a quiet ambiance that made Junpei feel uncomfortable. He wasn't even entirely sure what he was doing there, other than a dream had compelled him.
Feeling silly, he sat on a bench and opened his packed breakfast from Chidori. Inside where the leftovers from dinner the prior evening and a set of clean chopsticks. He opened the first container to find salmon above a small square of rice. Although chilled from the refrigerator, Junpei still grinned. He was starved. He hovered his chopsticks above the meal, ready to eat, when his eyes caught a flash of red in the near distance. When his eyes focused, he dropped his container to the ground in shock.
"Junpei!" Cried Kotono. "Junpei, you found me!"
A/N: Wow, I've had this in mind for years. Please drop me a line to let me know what you thought!