The Insanity of pineapples
Written for The-Alchemists-Muse
Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
Charles Bukowski
Deep in the GIW asylum, the monotony in 'Phantoms' cell was being broken. Loudly.
"I will rule the world!" Danny sighed. He was back again. Not that Dannyliked any of his other hallucinations better then this one. Well, scratch that, the devil worshiping clams singing 'Ring-around-the-Rosie' were pretty amusing to watch But staring at the wall was a whole lot saner than listening to clams. Or talking to George. Maybe he should say George 'The Dictator' Pineapple? That was his name...
"Child,are you listening to me?" The pineapple asked. Danny felt slightly special when he talked to George. I mean, how many people had the chance to think 'The Pineapple asked' ?
"Child..." The pineapple said in warning. He didn't like being ignored. Danny contemplated disregarding the dictator, in the hopes it would improve his sanity, but immediately disposed of the idea. He was really bored, he needed someone to talk to or else he would go craz- Er...probably not crazy.
"Yes, it's a bit too late for that child. You're already certifiably insane! I am too," He had apparently been speaking aloud. That or the hallucination could read his mind. "But not quite at your level! I'm a sociopath. And a dictator!" The pineapple looked oddly proud of both facts.
"Er...How interesting?" Danny already knew this, but George liked to remind him of things.
A slightly mad grin lighting his spiked face, the pineapple started to talk again.
"Y'know how many children I have? Twenty-seven! It's a lot of kids, a lot of responsibility...I mean, just think, if one of them disobeys me, I have to throw them into the fruitcake and dental floss prison!" Danny was tempted to mutter something about how loving a father he was, but he restrained himself. Barely. "and my wife would be so angry! She's a banana, they're very motherly fruits."
A mumbled "Of course." from Danny seemed to convince him that this was the most interesting story Danny had ever heard.
"And of course, I have to ready Pinople to become queen. She's my oldest. When I was first starting out, I considered having it so only men could become the Big Peach, but my Vice President was oddly resistant. She said some very mean things about my mother when I suggested it..."
Danny stared, his eyebrow twitching. This thing couldn't be from his imagination, could it? He asked himself this question every time George showed up. And annoyingly, the answer was always the same.
"Yes. I am from your imagination."
His sensitive ears twitched.
Thlap thlap thlap.
Danny relaxed. Kwan was here, and the hallucinations usually vanished when Kwan came around.
A slight popping sound and a puff of blue green smoke, and George was gone. Imagine his surprise when a ghost huntress he hadn't seen in years was in the doorway.
"Huh" He murmured softly. She stared at him in contempt.
"Are you… here to forgive me and get me out or…Did you come to rip me apart in vengeance?"