The Amanda Show: Judge Trudy
Amanda vs. Penelope
What a "Judge Trudy" case might look like after Penelope Taynt finally achieves her dream of meeting Amanda (and rubbing it in her face), but Amanda decides to take it to court instead of just having security keep dragging Penelope away, given how many previous performances Penelope interrupted. The people in the gallery are not kids, but a mix of kids and adults, mainly show staffers, and the Taynt family. The police and the security guards are restraining Penelope. This is a serious case, as opposed to a silly one, however, because Judge Trudy is not punishing a parent for what they "did" to their kid(s). Penelope's younger brother, Preston, is not in the courtroom.
Announcer: This is the courtroom of Judge Trudy. When you have a beef, don't take the beef into your own hands. Take it to Judge Trudy. Okay.
Baliff: Get vertical!
(The gallery rises. Judge Trudy walks to her bench and sits down.)
Judge Trudy: All right; very good. Sit, sit, sit. I am Judge Trudy. I hear I have a special case today; this is Amanda Bynes vs. her self-proclaimed number one fan, Penelope Taynt. Amanda, please tell the court your complaint.
(The gallery sits down.)
Amanda: Well, Your Honor, as you know, I've had the pleasure of doing my show for a previous 40 episodes. Is that right? Yes? 40 it is. My complaint is on behalf of the whole show and the staff and security, actually, against this girl here. It comes in two parts, actually.
Judge Trudy: So it's a double case. It's the first one I had.
Amanda: Part 1 is the fact she has done everything from interrupt sketches in progress, I have discovered, to the time she tried to stalk me at a party. (crowd boos for three seconds)
Penelope: All I ever wanted to do was meet you, Amanda! Was that so wrong, please?
Judge Trudy: It is in your case; you were stalking the girl! Okay, Amanda; what's Part 2?
Amanda: I don't know how she did it without shutting off the electricity, but somehow she sawed my room off my house.
Penelope: You said you wanted your room, please!
Judge Trudy: What did you actually say, Amanda?
Amanda: Well, I opened the first show by saying, "And everyone on the show really makes me feel right at home. The only thing missing is my room." She must have taken it out of context, I'm guessing.
Judge Trudy: Penelope, is this true?
Penelope: Yes, it is; Your Honor. That was the first time security dragged me away; I had broken into one room and came across two other actors who mean nothing to me because I only cared about Amanda. I think that's obvious, please.
Judge Trudy: Not to us, it wasn't. I think you're stupid!
Penelope: And after I heard Amanda make the comment, I yelled, "Amanda wants her room! How can you people just stand there when Amanda's wish has yet to be desired? I'll be back, please!"
Judge Trudy: Do you have any proof that you sawed her room off?
Penelope: Only this footage, please.
Judge Trudy: Footage?
Penelope: I have to log on to the website to show you, please.
Judge Trudy: I don't want to hear your life story! But go ahead; show us the stupid website.
Penelope: I don't think that, please; I consider it the best website in the world, please. Here it is. (She opens her laptop and logs on to the site.), and here is the home page, which I update frequently, please. This is the picture you want to see, Your Honor. (She clicks on a link which shows a replay from the first episode, where she is using Amanda's real computer to show Drake and Raquel Lee her website.)
Judge Trudy: How the heck did you manage to saw that?
Penelope: With this saw, please. (She holds up the saw. The gallery murmurs for a few seconds.)
Judge Trudy: Do we have any witnesses here? I'm probably going to need those.
Amanda: I think everybody in the gallery here is a witness, potentially, Your Honor.
Judge Trudy: The witnesses may speak, but just one at a time, and don't speak out of turn.
(Drake stands up.)
Drake: Your Honor, my name is Drake and I'm part of the Amanda Show cast.
Judge Trudy: And were you one of the two who saw this happen?
Drake: Well, no, we didn't see her actually saw it off, but we were in Amanda's room when Penelope brought it here.
Judge Trudy: Perfectly reasonable. (to Penelope) Okay; what else can we see in this wacky website you created?
Penelope: Well, you can see all sorts of things. (She clicks on various links.) Here is where you e-mail me your questions, please. You can also win these actual items from the Amanda Show, which I stole, please.
Judge Trudy: This is going to be more complicated than I thought.
Amanda: How so, Your Honor?
Judge Trudy: I am going to end up doing multiple sentences on this wacko girl. She confessed she stole the first "A" in your name. It's not called "The Manda Show," after all.
Penelope: "Sweet mother; the 'A' is mine!" I shouted when I stole it.
Judge Trudy: Word for word?
Penelope: Yes, please.
Judge Trudy: What else did you steal?
Penelope: That gavel, please. Obviously you got it back now.
Judge Trudy: I couldn't do my job without it.
Penelope: And now, please, let's view the "Amanda Video Clip of the Week."
Judge Trudy: Another part of your website?
Penelope: Yes, it is; please. Here's Amanda in a typical exercise routine. (The video is a humorous interpretation of Amanda working out at the gym.) She's in shape, please. Back to the home page now, where you can view tons of Amanda clips, games, and other fun stuff. (She closes the laptop.) Pretty impressive website, wouldn't you say so?
Amanda: That's...a really great website.
Judge Trudy: I have to say, it shows your unhealthy obsession.
Penelope: I don't think of it as an obsession, please. I just had to meet Amanda. I even knew what your locker combination was.
Amanda: That's just plain creepy.
Penelope: It's the truth, please. I'm not your number one fan for nothing.
Judge Trudy: I don't want to hear your life story! Ms. Taynt, do you have your family with you?
Penelope: Yes, please; they're right behind me.
Mr. Taynt: We're her parents. But we're handcuffed to these seats here because you didn't want a brawl to break out in the courtroom.
Judge Trudy: You know I don't approve of such behavior. People can't do things unless I say so. But why would a brawl break out?
Mr. Taynt: We're awaiting a trial of our own after discovering it was illegal to disown your child.
Judge Trudy: And have you disowned her?
Mrs. Taynt: We have, Your Honor.
Judge Trudy: It leaves me to wonder how I got stuck delivering the multiple sentences. Anyway, first things first. Bailiff, uncuff the parents.
Bailiff: Oh, you know I will. (He walks over to the parents after Judge Trudy hands him the keys, which the police had handed her before she walked out, and disattaches the handcuffs.)
Judge Trudy: Mr. and Mrs. Taynt, approach the bench. I want you to be able to stretch out a bit.
(The two do so.)
Mr. Taynt: Yes?
Judge Trudy: When she rambled on and on about Amanda, did it really upset you?
Mr. Taynt: Well, yes it did. No disrespect to you, Amanda, of course, but you can imagine us being sick of hearing about you. Morning, noon, and night, it was nothing but Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda.
Amanda: No, that's understandable. My parents wouldn't want me bothering them about my show all the time.
Mrs. Taynt: One day we did decide to surprise Penelope with somebody from your show, but it was just the camera operator known as Joe.
Mr. Taynt: She was certain it was Amanda, so she was bitterly disappointed. We never did a nice surprise like that ever again.
Judge Trudy: Well, you have a good reason; you had a very ungrateful daughter who thought about nothing but Amanda. I also hear from her teachers that all her homework kept mentioning Amanda; is that correct?
Mrs. Taynt: Yes, it is. We sent Penelope to a psychologist. That didn't help; she kept the Amanda obsession going.
Judge Trudy: Well, then I need to hear no more information, except for this. When you disowned Penelope, Mr. and Mrs. Taynt, what did the trial's verdict state, if there was a trial?
Mr. Taynt: The city fined us $10,000. It was either that or life in prison, and I don't have any more sick leave from work.
Judge Trudy: Were you able to pay it?
Mr. Taynt: Yes, we did.
Judge Trudy: Thank you; you may sit down.
(The parents sit back down as Judge Trudy bangs the gavel.)
Judge Trudy: I hereby find this case in favor of the plaintiff, Amanda Bynes, and I ask you, Penelope Taynt, this question. Have you any last words for your idol before I pronounce the multiple sentences?
Penelope: Yes, please. Amanda, it has been my lifelong dream to meet you, please, and at long last, my heart's desires, and ultimate fulfillment has been completed. I got to meet you. I just didn't want it to happen in the courtoom, please. (She takes a deep breath.) I'm sorry, please. All I ask is that there are no hard feelings.
Amanda: Well, the right thing to do is forgive and forget. That's what I'm going to do. It won't stop Judge Trudy from giving you what you deserve, but we can express it this way.
Judge Trudy: Begin.
(The two hug. When they separate, Penelope speaks.)
Penelope: I'm ready, Your Honor, please. What else is happening to me?
Judge Trudy: What do you mean, "What else?"
Penelope: I heard one of the police officers make a prediction I have a life sentence in jail, and a different trial confirmed it.
Judge Trudy: Well, if that was predetermined, all I can do is confirm it. (She bangs the gavel for each sentence.) I hereby confirm the life sentence in jail, but the records here state that this goes back to you interrupting the show and continuing to make unauthorized appearances in your worthless and fruitless efforts to meet Amanda. Number two: there's another life sentence here added on because you sawed her room off and brought it to the studio here, as well as steal the "A." We saw that the "A" is back. Amanda, did you get your room back?
Amanda: I did, Your Honor; I had to have a professional crew reattach it.
Judge Trudy: What did you pay for it?
Amanda: My parents paid for it; it cost them, uh, let's see here. (She checks a document.) $6,000.
Judge Trudy: Then there is numbers three, four, and five in what I'm charging your crazy number one fan here. Number three; Taynt, you must sacrifice your laptop and give it to Amanda, because she will now own everything that has to do with that website.
Penelope: Here. (She hands Amanda the laptop.) Attached is the card with the number to call so you can reach the cell I'm in if you have any questions on the website, since I created it.
Amanda: I'll remember that.
Judge Trudy: Number four; your parents own all the money in your bank account and all your possessions, except your glasses. Number five: it cost the Bynes family $6,000, so I hereby rule that the fine you owe them is $66 billion!
Penelope: I don't have $66 billion, please! How do you expect me to pay it?
Judge Trudy: Well then, in the manner of the sketch "The Girls' Room," one of the girls will just have to give you a swirlie.
Amanda: Raquel? She plays Sheila, and she's the one that does the swirlies. Well, there was another actress for that part, but Raquel is here, and she played Sheila. Raquel?
Raquel: Nothing to it but to do it.
(She drags Penelope out of the courtroom and over to a restroom, where off-camera, the sounds of a toilet flushing are heard, and Penelope is shrieking.)
Judge Trudy: (bangs gavel again) Court dismissed! Bring in the Dancing Lobsters!
(She closes her folder and walks off as the Dancing Lobsters enter, and the gallery, bailiff, and Amanda begin to dance.)
THE END