Before I start, I just wanted to say I wrote this fic after noticing one thing I despise about Shugo Chara - it's too optimistic, childish and immature, and that also corresponds to the majority of the fanfiction I've read on this site. I know it's a children's show, but most of its audience and fanfiction writers are teenagers (or at least, pre-pubescent tweens) and so I thought, wow, why is Shugo Chara happy?

Hence I wrote this fic trying to predict what probably would've happened to these kiddos in the event that they're living in real life. I apologize in advance.


CHAPTER ONE

It was a beautiful spring day when Tsukiyomi Ikuto was greeted by a familiar face from his past - an enigma who had never haunted him until this day came. The young man was currently enjoying his afternoon tea when, in a huff, he was caught mid-sip by a sudden knock on his front door.

The knocking's resemblance to a childhood friend was perceptible - for some reason or another, he easily recognized the rhythmic distinction of the light taps on his door than any other knocks he'd heard in his lifetime.

Five abrupt knocks.

"I'm coming."

Ikuto well remembered - five.

Five years had passively gone by since he last saw his surprise visitor, just as he was about to depart from Japan. There remained a vague, fading memory of violins, pink blossoms, pink hair..

He was glad he left for Germany.

Ikuto opened the door, widening his eyes in a facade of surprise and bad acting. He then playfully lifted his hand in an effort to propose a so-called "high five" - only to be rejected by a stern expression in his visitor's countenance.

"Tadase, hey."

"Don't Tadase 'hey' me. I've come here to talk to you."

Without touching his tiny forehead, Ikuto could clearly sense that Tadase was nearing his boiling point. His lips were evidently quivering out of agitation, and his cheeks were turning red out of embarrassment. He wasn't exactly sure why - maybe it's the pressure of seeing Ikuto for the first time. Or, knowing Tadase, he was in an effort to look cool and accomplished to impress him (which evidently backfired.)

The older man gave his visitor a tight hug, and calmed him down with a cup of tea.


The two sat in a great sala with a huge chandelier, inside the mansion Ikuto had newly built. Ever since he left Japan he had struggled with pocket money, but apparently being a street performing violinist eventually paid off. He got a decent job, quit the violin almost completely, and lived a great life since then.

Everything went downhill the moment Tadase walked into the living room.

"So," Ikuto cleared his throat. "How are things?"

"Fine."

"How about the others?"

"They're fine."

"Oh. I see."

"Yeah."

While Tadase was evidently too preoccupied playing with his tea bags, the older man observed how much his 'little brother' had aged - a few changes here and there (though not much height added, unfortunately) - but all in all, he still remained the same. His eyes, despite it being known for its large size and innocence, had matured quite grotesquely, giving him a somewhat exhausted look.

The young man was apparently vacationing in Heidelberg with friends from university, and right before the city tour he had impulsively bailed in hopes of finding his missing 'older brother' (to which he did - fortunately or unfortunately). He was doing quite well in his school, was the top of his class - and no, he wasn't in touch with his friends from high school.

By midnight, Tadase found himself taking the train to Berlin alone, with only his physical and emotional baggage keeping him company (alongside of course, the old, chatty Korean couple sitting across him and the two other businessmen on the train). The next day, he knocked on Ikuto's door and became one of his rare visitors.

"How's Berlin for you?" Ikuto, of course, attempted to maintain an air of pleasant conversation to the best of his ability.

Tadase pursed his lips. "It's alright. I miss Tokyo, but Berlin's quite homey. It's too cold for spring, though."

"Ah, yes," Ikuto chuckled. "How about the people?"

"They're alright."

"The bathrooms?"

"Clean."

"The food?"

"So-so."

"The girls?"

"Well - " He gazed at Ikuto in awe. "Girls?"

"Yup. Girls."

Tadase looked down in embarrassment. "They're beautiful, but they're breasts intimidate me."

Ikuto chuckled.

He hasn't changed at all.


Tadase took a break from his laughter as he finished his cup of tea, grinning at his older brother who he missed dearly. Finally his composure had relaxed and he felt cozy in Ikuto's home - perhaps he should let loose for a bit.

"So, Ikuto-nii," he winked. "Aren't you going to ask about Hinamori-san?"

An awkward silence ensued, followed by Ikuto standing up to take away Tadase's cup.

"I'm married, Tadase."

Oh.

"Do you want more tea?"


It was a beautiful April afternoon and Ikuto found himself making tea for the boy who used to call him his older brother. It provided him an ambiance of awkwardness and regret, to which he anticipated an evening of reminiscent later.

He remembered the last day he breathed in the city of Tokyo. Tadase had just graduated high school, and Ikuto paid for the celebratory dinner. All was well between the three of them - him, Tadase, and Utau, of course - but for some reason or the other, Ikuto impetuously purchased the plane ticket right after their festivity.

Tokyo didn't feel well that night, especially while Tsukiyomi Ikuto was preparing to abandon it completely.

The perplexity of his departure haunted all his acquaintances, especially both his siblings. He just vanished into thin air and nobody knew where he escaped to, until Utau received an anonymous postcard from Berlin.

The sensation of seeing his little brother now didn't actually feel good; he had especially been dreading this one moment. That one question Tadase would soon ask.

"Why did you leave us?"

That one nickname.

"Why did you leave us, onii-chan?"

It ached him.

"I.. don't know." Ikuto muttered in front of his visitor as he finished his tea. "I just felt a need to escape. I needed to grow up - and if I stayed with you kids any longer, I was afraid I'd stay a child forever."

"You thought us immature?"

Ikuto nodded. "At that time, yes."

Tadase lightly pressed his sweaty forehead with a handkerchief. "Didn't you realize that we needed you?"

"No, I - "

"We needed you, Ikuto. We loved you, and we needed you so we could grow up." Tadase cleared his throat. "You should've at least told us you were leaving."

"I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

Ikuto shrugged.

"Why didn't you at least say goodbye?"

Shrug.

"Why didn't you at least contact us when you left?"

Shrug. "Well, I did send out a postcard to Utau on her birthday - "

"That wasn't ENOUGH!" Tadase screamed, the sensitivity of his heart throbbing compelling him to release his anger. "You completely broke us. You thought us stupid, and we thought ourselves stupid too. Do you think I can forgive you for what you've done?"

"No, Tadase, I - "

"I was so hopeful you'd come back," Tears welled out of Tadase's eyes, his voice getting higher out of intense emotion. "So hopeful."

Silence.

"She waited for you, you know. Amu."

Ikuto gazed at his tea, cold and untouched, in shame.

"I'm sorry."

"Your apology isn't enough, but thank you so much for opening our eyes into the bitter reality," Tadase shrieked. "That we're nothing but self-absorbed idiots too jaded by their nonsensical dreams. Nothing but immature brats who're standing in your way, brats who're so worthless you'd leave without saying a word. Thank you so much, for breaking Hinamori-san's heart, and for breaking ours."

Silence.

Ikuto didn't know they had depended on him so much, and saw him as a friend. To him, they were just kids he loved to mess with - nothing more. It was true he did love Amu (but he was more interested in her pink hair), and he had never lied to her - but she was just the first among a long string of girlfriends, and the most naive one at that. He didn't regret leaving her, but he did regret giving her a proper break-up - but that was evidently too late. That was the bitter reality. He got over her soon, with the flight attendant, the grocery cashier, the Armenian call center agent, the rockstar chick, and the heiress he eventually married.. Compared to them, Amu was just a weird fling.

He was speechless, mainly because Tadase was right.

While Tadase screamed, lectured and set free his anger, Ikuto was stuck in a void of mixed emotions, but one emotion stood out: indifference.


The bitter reality was that Ikuto never cared.

He never cared at all. He thought himself a mere character in their mundane lives, a mystery they continuously pursue despite the nothingness that enshrouds him. He left because of one reason: that he didn't care, even if he tried to - and he didn't expect them to care, too.

It wasn't that he was an emotionless prick that was hardly concerned of others. It was just that when it came to these matters - of things that didn't have evidence of importance - he was clueless.

These were kids who burdened themselves too much with their feelings. Mere children he's grown accustomed to.

He needed to grow up and had to amount to something. That was that.

He had his own problems to take care of. They were just a part of his life he was willing to cut off.


The time came for Tadase to leave - because obviously, he had nothing to attain from this visit.

"I'm leaving," he finally said. "And I'm sorry for bothering you. Say hello to your wife for me."

Ikuto nodded as he cleaned up the mess on his living room coffee table.

The younger man cleared his throat. "For what it's worth, you should pay a visit."

Ikuto nodded, and he didn't dare look at the kid in the eye for the last time.

"Goodbye."

"Mm."

Tadase looked back and lingered for the last time at the stranger that was his older brother.

"You're a success, Ikuto. You live in relaxation with a trophy wife, in a mansion abroad with a lot of money.. I'm not surprised you left us for this life. Meanwhile, my friends and I you left behind are nothing but lifeless wrecks. I hope you're happy."

He shut the door and left.


A/N: Hello, kiddos! It has been practically a year since I last wrote and I apologize for that. School is getting in the way and I feel no motivation whatsoever to continue. However, I was rummaging through my files earlier today and I noticed several drafts I have failed to post. They're of low quality, unfortunately, since this was a long time ago and.. you know. I was a kid. And so, in an effort to rekindle the flame that was my blasted writing career, I continued these drafts to at least post something after so many months. (If you're wondering, yes, I did try to continue my stories Until the Rain Stops and The Art of Saying Goodbye, to no avail. Maybe I'll continue them again.)

Anywho, I'm quite excited to actually try and finish this story, so stay tuned. Any form of praise of constructive criticism may be attributed to the Review section. (It will also make me very, very happy. :D) Please review!

Next up: Chapter 2, or Why Amu Left


To: Hotori Tadase

Fr: Hinamori Amu

Sent: 8:17 PM

Tadase. I'm pregnant.

- Amu