"Lopez!" Puck dropped into a squat and rapped his fingers on the rolled up car window. He could see the figure inside jump - startled.
"Jesus Christ, Puckerman! Don't be such a creep!"
"Well, then unlock the damn door and let me in!" Santana leaned across the black leather interior and popped the lock of the passenger side. She didn't really want to talk to anyone right now, but she and Puck had never talked much anyway. She didn't look over at him as he slid into the low seat, but she could tell he was staring at her; not where he usually stared, but at her face. At her.
Santana's mind was still racing after the humiliation at her locker. Words and images and sensations flew through her brain. A touch on her arm: familiar, yet suddenly unwelcome. Piercing blue eyes that made her heart leap, until she remembered for the fiftieth time that they had been pitying her. Was Puck still staring at her? She couldn't bear to glace over, but, still…it almost felt like he could read her mind.
"I saw what happened," he said finally. Santana let the words sit there, not acknowledging the awkwardness of the whole situation. "At your lockers," Puck prompted again. Still nothing. "Fine, Lopez, if you wanna just ignore me you can do that, but you look terrible which means you feel terrible and-" Santana's facade crumbled suddenly. She let out a deep sob as she leaned over the steering wheel and broke down in tears. He stayed still for a moment – frozen. He'd never seen her like this before. Even after she'd stormed out of the choir room last month after Finn had attacked her, she'd kept her composure. She'd probably cried later, he realized. The thought made him shift in his seat uncomfortably. Eventually he lifted his hand and set it on her knee.
"Don't even think about, Noah!" The words didn't quite come out as biting as she'd intended.
"Lopez…" he said calmly. "I'm not…I just…"
What was this tone he was using? She'd become so used to hearing his seduction voice, but this was different. Friendly.
"I'm not hitting on you, okay? Didn't you hear what I said? I saw you two today. By your lockers. I couldn't hear you, but the way you stormed away caught my attention."
"You just like it when I wear leather," she snapped.
"Jesus, Santana. Will you cut the crap for one second? I know you. I know...I know the two of you. You know I do. And after your kumbaya singalong with little miss Hottie Holliday at glee club today, I think everyone knows."
"Only because Berry can't keep her big horse mouth shut."
Puck sighed. "Whatever- this isn't about her. This is about you. I'm…I'm worried about you, Lopez. I've never seen you like this before."
"Like what?"
"You know, with feelings, and…shit." She still hadn't looked away from the hole she was boring into the floor with her eyes.
He looked down at his hand, still on her knee, and gave it a quick squeeze. It was getting late, and he needed to get over to the gym before it got too crowded. He looked up at her face. It was so beautiful, especially in this light, and even when she'd been crying. He still didn't totally understand what had happened today. He'd always assumed there was something going on between the two girls, but she didn't talk about it, so he didn't ask. They never talked about her; they never talked about anything, really, but she seemed to like it that way. In all the years he'd known her, he wasn't even sure he'd ever heard her so much as complain about homework. But now? This? This was bad.
"Listen, I don't know what's going on, and you don't need to tell me. But I know you, and I know this isn't you. Or maybe it is you. Maybe this is the real you for the first time. I don't know." He leaned back in the seat and it made his hand move a little farther up her leg. The girl he knew would have jumped him five minutes ago just to shut him up. He turned to look out the window and saw the parking lot was getting pretty empty.
"All right, if you're not gonna talk to me, I have places to be." He took his hand off her knee and reached down for his backpack. He looked at her again. She still hadn't moved. He put his other hand on the door, but he didn't open it.
She could feel him looking at her again.
"Your call, Lopez," he sighed as he pushed the door open and stood up. He turned and closed it and he could see the sound made her jump again. The window was still rolled down, so he bent over and leaned into the car. She was staring at the floor again, but at least she wasn't crying now. He heard her phone make a weird quacking noise which seemed to finally break her daze as she snatched for the phone and roughly shut it off.
"Hey," he said softly. She looked up at him, and he saw her face fully for the first time. It was heartbreaking. "You don't have to talk to me right now. You don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to. But I think I know what's going on, and I just want you to know that…" He looked down at her hands, fidgeting in her lap. "That I'm here for you. I get it."
Santana blinked a few tears out of her eyes and wiped them away carefully, trying to keep her makeup intact. She glanced down again, and as she did, she could sense him start to stand up. Her heart raced again.
"Puck-" she said, louder than she'd intended. He stopped and looked back into the car. "I…I told her. I told her that I, you know…" She rolled her eyes at him. "Fuck, don't make me say it, Puckerman!"
He smirked.
"I told her I loved her." Her breath caught in her throat. What was that look on his face? The stupid grin of his. She'd always hated it for what it made her do. And now it'd made her lower her defenses for about the millionth time that day.
"Well it's about time, Lopez!" Puck laughed.
She raised her eyebrow and studied his face, confused.
"So you said you loved her and she didn't say it back. That ain't the end of the world."
"Well...she did say it back, I guess. But she still won't leave that pair of glasses on wheels!" Santana looked back at her hands. "I told her I loved her - that I wanted to be with her. I spilled my fucking guts, Puckerman, and she left me standing there like an idiot!" Puck sighed again.
"Look, you know I don't know anything about relationships. But this is the first time you've told me anything remotely personal, ever. I know you think it's screwed up right now, and you're afraid people will think it's wrong, but something about the two of you is right. I think you just need to get away for a while. Get out of this shitty town for a few days while you can." He craned his neck and looked into the back seat. "Do you still have your Cheerios travel bag packed back here?"
"As if I would ever leave the house without it." She wasn't on the team anymore, but some of Sue's habits were hard to break.
"Good. It's Friday, and it's somehow not twenty degrees below this weekend. Go crash at your family's cabin up by the lake, you know, the one where we tried that one move..?" His eyebrow crawled up his forehead as he smirked again. Santana laughed for the first time all day. It was a small laugh, but it was something.
"Yes, Puck. I know which of our onecabins you're referring to."
"Here." Puck reached into his bag and pulled out a CD.
"What is that? Did you make me a mix CD? God, you are such a girl." She was almost smiling.
"Yeah, well, Schue wasn't here so I sure as hell wasn't going to go take that Spanish test like a sucker. I went to the computer lab and made this after I passed you in the hall and you looked about ready to lose it."
He handed her the CD. He'd scratched Keep Your Head Upon it. "It's only got like five songs. It's the best I could do with that old lab supervisor breathing down my neck every two minutes. I mean, I'm into cougars, but no thanks." Santana smiled. A real smile this time. She was even more beautiful, somehow, he thought.
"Thanks, Noah," she said.
"Anytime, babe," he drawled as he clapped his hands on the door and stood up. "I'll be around if you need me, or my DVDs, or my fake ID. Just give me a call and I can be there in an hour. Later, Lopez." He spun on his heel and sauntered off to his truck.
Santana turned the car on and wiped her eyes again. She wasn't sure if she'd ever actually called him on the phone before. She laughed at that thought and popped in the CD. There was really only one person she ever wanted to be with when she was upset, but that was out of the question now. Maybe forever. She wasn't sure she could ever bear to be around her again after the mess today.
The first strains of the music rolled out of her speakers. The song was more upbeat than she'd expected, but it was nice. She shifted into gear and pulled out of the parking lot listening to Puck's mix. Sure he was just ducking a test, but he had made it for her. And yeah, she wasn't about to feel better anytime soon, she knew that. But having Puck in her corner was kind of nice. Maybe she would call him later. After all, she could probably use some company while she smoked a few cigars and knocked back most of her father's expensive scotch collection.