My breathing is short, my fists are clenched. The butterflies in my stomach are fluttering so fast I might throw up. What is this feeling? My heart hurts every time I see them. I pretend not to care because I don't want to ruin their happiness...

I lace up my skates and step on the ice. I plug into my earphones and put on my 'As It Is' playlist. I don't even attempt any jumps. I am just skating because it keeps me distracted.

My name is Yuri Plisetsky. I'm 17 years old now. I live in Russia with my twin sister Yukia. We live in a shared apartment a short train journey from our local ice rink. Victor Nikiforov is still living in Japan with his beloved Yuuri Katsuki... or at least that's what Victor's latest Instagram post showed. It's annoying how those two are always together. Ugh!

"Yurio! Yurio!" Upon hearing my name I look to the direction it was being called. There waiting for me, with her arms crossed and impatiently tapping her foot, is mydelightfulsister.

I take an earphone out and skate over to her and step off the ice. "Hey, Yukia. What's up?"

"The ceiling. And you were supposed to be going to the store to get me Ben & Jerry's!" Yukia yells in my face. "I've been waiting hours!"

I roll my eyes at her last comment. "It's only been one hour. And I got your ice cream, it's right there in that plastic bag."

I watch her go to the bag and open the tub. "It's fucking melted!"

"Whoops..." I say, taking off my skates and putting my converse back on.

"Don't give me whoops! You owe me another tub of Ben & Jerry's... actually make that two!" My sister demands.

"Ugh! Fine." I retort.

"That's what you get for running off with my ice cream. Let me guess you saw another post of Yuuri and Victor all in love an together on Instagram." Yukia looks ready to burst into a fit of laughter.

"Whatever." I grumble, grabbing my bag and walking out of the rink. I begin walking towards the train stop, ignoring Yukia behind me and I light up a cigarette, taking a draw.

"Yuri Plisetsky! I thought you quit!" Yukia screams, running after me.

"Well I unquit... okay?" I take another draw.

"Nope!" She stands in front of me and snatches the cigarette out of my mouth.

"HEY!"

She throws it on the floor, stamping and jumping on it. "I don't care how jealous you are of Yuuri and Victor. You aren't doing this again.

"I'm not jealous! Why the hell would I be jealous of those two?!" I snap.

"Because they are in love and you aren't. Duh!"

I don't even answer. I just through up my hood and get on the train. Yukia sits beside me and starts singing in my ear. "Yuri wants a boyfriend. Yuri wants a boyfriend."

"Fuck off."

"Yuri wants a fuck mate. Yuri wants a fuck mate."

I plug my earphones back in my ears and listen to 'Sarcasm by Get Scared'.

About twenty minutes later we get off the train and enter the apartment building. Yukia blocks the stairs and look at her confused, taking out my earphones. "Why are you not letting me up?"

"I am, but I kinda did something without telling you..."

I raise an eyebrow. "You didn't flood the bathroom again, did you?" She shakes her head. "Did you blow up the cooker again?"

"Nope."

"Did you-"

"I get it! Stop!" Yukia snaps.

I light laugh. "Okay. What did you do then?"

I hear a familiar voice coming from the apartment. "Yuuri! Did you remember to pack me wine?!"

"Victor, you can't pack wine in a suit case. I picked some up in duty free for you."

My eyes widen and I look Yukia dead in the eyes. "Surprise!" She says throwing her arms in the air. "I invited Yuuri and Victor to come stay with us for a while."

"How long is a while?!"

"A week." Yukia says this looking rather proud of herself.

"A WEEK!"

The apartment door opens and Victor calls down the stairs. "Welcome home you two! Hurry up! Yuuri bought wine!"

"Ugh!" I trail myself upstairs and into the apartment.

The moment Yukia closes the door behind us, Victor picks me up in a tight hug. "Yurio! It's so good to see you again! It really has been too long. Thank you so much for inviting us!" Victor says ecstatically.

I'm being hugged... by Victor. Why is he hugging me? I don't want him to let go, but he is hugging me so tight. "Cant... breath..." I squeak out.

Victor instantly lets go. "Oh sorry Yuri."

I shouldn't have said a thing! I didn't want him to let go. Ugh! What is wrong with me!? I don't like hugs! I hate everyone... especially- "It's fine. I just don't do hugs."

"Oh yeah. Sorry. You know how I forget sometimes and it has been a while since we last saw you."

I roll my eyes. "It's only been two years."

"That is way too long!"

"It really is. We missed our Yurio." Yuuri says, hugging me from behind.

"Don't call me that! I will not answer to that stupid name! My name is Yuri!" I shove Yuuri off.

"Don't be so rude Yuri! You should be nicer to your friends." Yukia scolds. "Just for that you can pay for dinner."

"Fine. Where are we going?"

Yukia hands me a pizza menu. "We're ordering in."

I nod and order a large plain cheese and a large pepperoni. "The food will be here in thirty minutes." When I walk into the living room Victor and Yuuri are laying on the couch reading a book together.

Victor smiles up at me. "Thank you, Yurio."

I nod and grab Yukia's arm dragging her into the kitchen. "Why the fuck would you invite them here?" I try to keep my voice down.

"Don't swear at me and I didn't invite them. You did over Facebook. You really should log out of it when you leave your laptop on."

"But why?"

"Because they are our friends and we haven't seen them in two years. Why are you being so weird about it?" She raises an eyebrow.

"I- I'm not being weird. They are just so all over each other all the time. It's disgusting really."

"You're just jealous."

"No I am not!" I cross my arms, huffing.

"It's all over your face. You're jealous. We need to get you a boyfriend."

"I don't need a boyfriend and I don't want a boyfriend."

"Fine. A girlfriend then." I raise an eyebrow at her. "Okay. I know, you're gay."

"You should at least-" Yukia is cut off by the door bell.

"Pizza is here." I duck out of the kitchen and answer the door.

I know she isn't done talking to me about it, but I'm done talking to her about it.

I carry the pizzas into the living room and set them on the coffee table. "Dinner is served."

Yuuri leaps over to the coffee table opening a box. "It looks amazing. I am so hungry."

Victor sits up on the couch. "I agree. Thank you for dinner, Yuri." Victor says smiling at me.

I find it impossible to stop the blush tainting my cheeks. "No problem." I quickily grab a slice of pizza and start eating it.

"I have a brilliant idea. Why don't we use the empty wine bottle to play spin the bottle?"

Yukia claps her hands excitedly. "I like your thinking, Viki. Let's do it!"

"It sounds fun." Yuuri adds.

Yukia snaps her head at me as I try to leave for my bedroom. "You are playing too Yurio!"

"Fine." I grumble. I don't really want to argue with her. I love Yukia, but she can be very scary when she is mad.

I sit down on the floor by the coffee table and everyone else does the same. Yukia set the bottle down on it's side on the table. "I'm going to spin it first." She declares, before spinning the bottle. It lands on Yuuri. "Truth or dare, Yuuri?" Yukia asks.

"Truth."

"Chicken. You were supposed to pick dare!" Yukia spouts. Yuuri just shakes his head. "Fine. Is it true you had a hundred posters of Victor all over your bedroom?"

"I... uh... no it's not." Yuuri stutters.

"Liar."

"It's not true there were a hundred, but there were a lot." Victor interjects, smirking.

"No surprise there. It's your turn to spin it Yuuri." I say.

Yuuri spins it and it lands on Yukia. "Truth or dare?" He asks.

"Dare me bitch!"

"I dare you to pole dance with a Sebastian Michaelis body pillow." Yuuri dares, trying to refrain from laughing.

"Yurio did you tell him I have one of those?!" Yukia screams at me.

I hold my hands up in defense. "Like I'm that stupid."

Yuuri jumps in to save my ass. "No Yuri didn't say anything. I was just guessing. I didn't think you actually had one."

Yukia goes into her room and comes out with the body pillow. "A dare is a dare." She then proceeds to pole dance around the pillow.

"Go Yukia!" Victor cheers. Yuuri encourages her too.

I hold my mouth trying not to gag. "I think I'm going to be sick. That's me set for nightmares tonight."

"Don't hate just because I'm hotter than you." Yukia says, confidently, with a wink. She sits back down and looks at Victor. "You're turn to spin Viki."

"It's about time!" Victor eagerly spins the bottle and it lands on me. "Truth or d-"

Victor is cut off by Yukia. "Yuri, I dare you to kiss Victor. On the lips."

"But I was going to pick truth! And Victor is with Yuuri, I can't do that!" My cheeks are bright red.

"It's okay with me Yuri. It is only a game after all." Yuuri says.

"Are you sure my little pork cutlet bowl? We can give him another dare." Victor asks. Yuuri nods.

"No! I'm not doing it!"

"It's a dare so you have to do it!" Yukia orders.

"Just do it Yuri. It's fine. Like Yuuri says, it's only a game." Victor smiles.

I hesitantly nod and lean forward. Victor closes the gap and kisses me on the lips. The moment he does I melt into the kiss.

His lips are so soft. This isn't real. Why does Yukia hate me? I don't want him to stop kissing me.

Victor pulls away. "See. No big deal." Victor then turns to Yuuri and kisses him.

I suddenly stand up and walk to my room. "Hey. Where are you going?" They all ask in unision.

"I don't want to play any more. I'm tired." I answer.

"But it's your turn to spin." Victor calls back.

I ignore their attempts to get be to come back and close my door. I lay down on my bed and bring my knees up to my chest, crying.

That wasn't fair. It was cruel. I didn't want the kiss to end. I wanted him, but I can't have him. Then to watch Victor kiss Yuuri straight after... What is wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? It's Yukia's fault. It was much easier before they showed up.

I don't want this. I don't want to be in love with someone I can never have. It hurts too much.

Wait.. love?... in love? No! I can't! I don't want to be, but... I am.

I'm in love with Victor Nikiforov.

Thank you so much for reading! If you liked it please let me know! I love to hear what you guys think!

Until he next chapter ;)