Butterflies: Solidarity
"Namiki Aya has nothing and no one. No one to come home to. No one to hold her when she cries. No reason to get out of bed, other than the nightmares. Not until her someone barges back into her life and says three words that change everything: I need you." Spin-off of Butterflies; AU. Yuri main character. Dark themes, suicidal ideation, depression, gore, and frisky nudity later on.
Warnings! This is a very real look into the depths of depression, into sexuality, and into working as an ANBU Operative. The main pairing is two OCs: Namiki Aya and Hyuuga Hitomi, both from Butterflies and The Butterfly Effect. Don't like? Don't read.
Chapter 1 - I Need You
8-8
Lying on my tummy on the roof of the academy, I gaze down at my target. Blond, sun-kissed hair. Sky blue eyes, cloudier than every other time I've seen him. He sits sideways on the swing, gazing forlornly at the others, as the tips of his shinobi sandals gently scrape against the ground and grass beneath him.
The longing in his eyes is far more pronounced. He longs for the way everyone else's mother fusses over them, how they praise them, how they so obviously love them. He doesn't notice the dandelion near his foot. He doesn't notice the bird landing on the tree above him. He doesn't care that it's the end of summer, or that the weather is just right for cloud gazing.
All he sees, all he wants, is to be one of them—to belong.
Some of the mothers start talking about him, saying something through partly clenched teeth. I can't make out their words, but I see the vitriol in their stance, in their eyes. Uzumaki Naruto sees it, too. Given he closes in on himself, I can guess he hears them. He gets up, running off in a random direction.
Umino-sensei says something to Hokage-dono—something I don't care to make out. He isn't my concern, Uzumaki is. I get up from my perch, idly fingering my new forehead protector on my neck, before making my way down the side of the building—where no one will see me.
I follow Uzumaki, follow him through the streets, as he runs faster and faster to run away from the usual jeers and taunts. He makes his way up a building near the library, sitting on the ledge out of the public's eye—where he feels most at ease. I take up vigil far enough away to see him, but close enough to almost smell him.
He'll be on a ramen binge again later. No doubt in my mind. I'd better make sure he has enough, or he'll be even more depressed. I'll see if I can sneak in a few chocolate bars, too. He doesn't admit it, but he likes chocolate when he's like this—I see it in his eyes when he finds a bar on his kitchen counter when he's had a rough day.
Another shows up, sneaking up behind Uzumaki. Kanatsu Mizuki. The faux-sympathy in his beady eyes grates on me as he sits beside my blond. His silver hair blows in the gentle breeze as he soothes Uzumaki, I study them for a long moment, wondering what's going on—Kanatsu never showed any interest in Uzumaki before today.
Blondie is getting excited, but I can't make out his words. Then: "Tell me what to do! I'll do anything!" Kanatsu looks smug for a fraction of a second, before donning the mask of a sensei helping a struggling student. Kanatsu pets Uzumaki's hair, trying to get him to calm down, before muttering something to him. Uzumaki grins, pumping his fist to the heaven's as he swears he'll get the job done, 'believe it'.
With that Uzumaki is gone, leaving Kanatsu there to revel in his victory. The smug grin, the cocky gloating in his eyes. He's playing Uzumaki for a fool. So that's your game, is it? Alight, Kanatsu. Game on.
I don't follow Uzumaki this time. Having studied his every move over the last six years, I know what he'll do and when. No, I need to get ready, because he doesn't realize he's walking into a trap.
No, instead I make my way back to the Academy. To Hokage-dono. I meet his gaze, wondering briefly if he cares enough to help. He offered to help once, years ago—just after getting me the apartment across from Uzumaki and asking me to keep an eye on him.
Then again, he hasn't done a thing to fix the mistakes that made me hate him back them.
I stroll up to him. "I need those keys," I murmur, knowing he'll hear me. He narrows his eyes at me.
"Why is that?" he asks, indirectly ordering me to open up about my motives. I shrug, refusing to get into that. "Is something wrong?" It would be so easy to believe he cares, that he's concerned for me, that he wants to make my life better. That mama and papa still haven't been given proper burials years after their deaths, however, speaks far louder than his supposed concern.
Hokage-dono sighs, motioning me to follow him. Umino-sensei looks from one to the other, trying to make sense of what's going on, but given the bead of sweat on his brow and the pinched look on his face, it isn't hard to see he can't make any more sense of me than his last attempt to.
We walk, but I'm already going over my options. I know Kanatsu is a proper chuunin, likely Umino-sensei's superior in skill. He's above my skill-level, so I cannot take him out in direct combat. However, he's arrogant and cocky. He'll underestimate me for my supposed lack of skill and me barely graduating in the lower sixth of our class. He'll think he knows my skills, seeing as he was our taijutsu instructor.
I have the element of surprise, and I'll need to milk that for everything it's worth. That's why I need those keys. I need to get into mama's weapon caches, to be properly armed to press what little advantage I have.
We make it to his office, he invites me in and tells me to close the door behind me. The second the door gently slams shut, I feel a tingling rippling over every inch of my skin. He just cast a jutsu, though I dare not guess what kind.
"Aya-chan. Whatever you tell me will be be strictly confidential, I assure you," he soothes, the sound of him dragging his chair back rips through me like a nail on chalkboard. "You follow Naruto-kun after he runs off, and come back not ten minutes later demanding the keys to your mother's house. Please explain why."
I turn to him, my face blank and my posture laconic. He gracefully sits in his chair, facing me. His eyes are hard, his face as blank as mine. As he shifts his chair forward, the scent fear fills the air. It's light, barely noticeable, but definitely there. It isn't coming from him, though. There are others in this room. Not exactly what I'd consider 'confidential', good sir.
I cross my arms, tilting my head to one side. "It's time," is all I say, refusing to trust a man that has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that he cannot be trusted with my precious people.
"You haven't once come to me in the last six years. You don't trust me," he intones, his eyes boring into me. Oh, but I do. I trust you to stay out of my way and let me do my job. You know, the job you gave a six year old who was just kicked out of the orphanage for defending a boy you can't protect.
I say nothing. Nothing will change the past, nothing will change the present. So why waste precious words on someone that cannot understand the depths of his stupidity?
"Do you believe Naruto is going to do something foolish?" he presses.
"The keys?" I remind him.
"Need I remind you, genin Namiki, that as a kunoichi of Konoha, you are my subordinate. You are required to answer to me by law. And if I feel you are holding back, I am within my rights to do as I see fit with you," he drills, clearly having decided the other route is getting him nowhere.
"The keys belong to me. I want them back," I drone, unmoved by his new approach.
He folds his hands, covering the lower portion of his face as he stares at me. He knows something is different, and intuition no doubt tells him it has to do with Uzumaki. More than that, I see the gears churning in his head, I see him weighing risk against reward.
"Very well, Aya-chan," he murmurs, reaching into his desk for something. He tosses something to me, his eyes never leaving mine. I look down, studying the two silvery keys and the single canine attached by a braid of grey hair. "Do as you feel you must. I'll expect a full report on this incident."
Balling my fist around the treasure I was just offered, I look up at Hokage-dono. I turn to the door without a word. "And Aya-chan? If you'd have showed your true skill during that exam, I'd have gladly assigned you to Naruto-kun's team. You know that, don't you?"
I don't even stop to show I heard him. I have an idiot to keep alive, so offering an old hypocrite my time just isn't an option.
8-8
In every direction all I can see is tranquillity, peace, and harmony. Even though I know I'm in the Shinobi District, I cannot help but feel at ease here. The street is cobbled, the trees dotting the landscape are tall, sturdy. It's so green here, the air so fresh.
I wish I had the time to admire my surroundings. I don't. I don't know what time Uzumaki will act, though I suspect after sunset—that gives me three hours. I right my glasses, picking up the pace to get to my destination faster.
At the end of a dead-end street, I move to the gate on the r…le… no right. I don't admire the swirl, the kanji for wolf, or the gorgeous seal I haven't set eyes on in nearly a decade. I'm amazed I remembered the way here, to be honest.
Instead of puzzling that out, I dig a kunai out of my leg pouch and use the tip to slice open my right thumb. I smear the blood on the seal, hearing the gate pop open. I push the heavy-looking iron barrier out of the way, hating the creaking that announces my arrival home.
Once there's enough space, I slip through and close the gate behind me. I lick my thumb, hoping I don't get an infection from the cut—that would suck. Once I confirm the gate is shut, I move through the jungle that should be my front yard to the door. I place my hand against another seal, feeling the cold stone wall warm up at my touch—the seal still works, good.
I dig out my keys, stuff one of them at random into the keyhole in the door, and twist to unlock it. With little reverence, I turn the nob, opening my front door.
Suddenly nervous, I wonder what scene awaits me. The last time I entered this place, it was with mama at my side. Even after seven long years, I feel the wound in me bleed freely as I swing the door open. It doesn't creak like the gate, luckily.
Peering into the house, almost like a portal into the past, I see everything as it was when I left. I see the slippers on the slight incline—I see my bear, still missing an eye, sitting on mine to keep them warm.
"Bazu will keep them warm and guard the house, Aya. Don't worry," mama's words echo down the corridor of my mind. I stand, rooted to the doormat beneath my feet, seeing mama reaching for my hand as we leave together, one last time.
Shaking off the useless memory, I enter the house, slipping out of my slippers to get down to business. I don't touch the beer on my way in, no matter how my heart begs. I haven't the time.
I take a right into the corridor leading to the family sitting room, ignoring the scenes playing out of better times. The meals we shared, the few guests that ever came over—though I can never recall their faces.
I make my way to the hidden cache, pressing a seemingly random spot on the wall and hearing it click. Part of the wall swings out, revealing a door. I enter, looking around for what I need. Blades of all shapes and sizes, boxes of kunai, battle senbon, and shuriken, ninja wire, and… bingo! Sharpening kit.
I grab the sharpening kit and the box of kunais and senbon. I lay them on the table, going back into the cache. I've trained mainly with kunai, but mama taught me how to use tantos and kodachis from the time I could walk. I take a twin set of each and close the door behind me, pleased to see no sign of a door the second it clicks closed.
I set the four blades on the table, plopping onto the one of the sitting pillows. Unsheathing the blades, I test their weight and balance, wondering if taking them with me is worth the risk. Hmm, balance is more or less what I'm used to.
Carefully checking the blade, I find them dull. I'll need to run through a few katas to make sure my body gets used to these blades—they seemed so much longer when I was five. Still, Uzumaki will need someone to watch his back… I can't not give it my all.
With no reason not to, I set my kunai on the table as well, lining them up to sharpen them efficiently, just like mama taught me.
8-8
Stuffing the key into the door, I see the sky almost as if it's on fire—the clouds ablaze with it. The sun will set soon. Uzumaki will make his move. Turning the key to make sure it locks the door, I place my hand on the seal to activate the security system.
I never did figure out what the second key was for. Now isn't the time, though. I slip the keys into my jacket, tying it to a string mama always told me to have handy—no one checks places other than pockets, for some reason.
Just to be sure, I fiddle the kodachi grips over my left shoulder, to make sure they won't move around while I'm busy. They seem sturdy enough, so I check the tanto grips on my hips, getting the same response from them. Nodding to myself, I slip through the gate, making sure it's secure before dashing down the empty street.
I make my way make to the red-light district, hating that Hokage-dono gave us two run-down apartments a stone's through from the one place guaranteed to get drunkards and social pests on a regular basis—the crowd most likely to bother Uzumaki.
I make it to my apartment without incident, but I don't go to my door. Instead, I lean against the door across the hall, resting my ear against it to listen in.
"Alright, it's not my best plan, but it'll do," Uzumaki's muttering doesn't comfort me. He never has a good plan to begin with. So if he admits this isn't his best? It's all downhill from here. His window opens—he's going the stealth route.
Nodding to myself, I silently dash down the hallway. I look up, seeing the first stars coming out. At least he picks a good time to act—though his bright orange outfit makes it too easy for me to spot him. I follow at a distance, taking the exact route he takes. I follow him over rooftops, towards the Hokage Tower.
He's finally lost his mind, hasn't he.
And yet, I follow him up into the private suite on the third floor—where Hokage-dono lives, to make it easier for the secrets he's meant to protect and the Anbu Ops meant to guard him. Odd. Hokage-dono never sleeps here, he must be on his way to the Clans' District.
The man himself spots Uzumaki, but doesn't see the Sexy jutsu coming. He passes out, via nosebleed.
What. An. Idiot.
I follow Uzumaki deeper and deeper, through a hidden door, into a hidden library. Yeah. I'm willing to bet it's punishable by law to be in here. And yet, I follow without pause.
Uzumaki finds a large scroll, straps it to his lower back, and dashes back the way he came. That the scroll itself says 'forbidden' on it, should tell him something—as usual, he's too high on adrenaline to bother with silly things.
I follow again, refusing to lose him. I follow him out of the Tower, out of the Shinobi District, to the edge of the village, in a forest—a training ground, I think.
He looks around, trying to see if he's alone. He hasn't spotted me once in all my years—and he doesn't spot me this time either. He takes the scroll and unfurls a section of it. I climb up into a tree, inching closer to him to hear what idiocy he tells himself.
"Alright, let's see. Shadow Clone jutsu?!" You're being loud, Uzumaki. "Aw, man! My clone jutsu is the worst!" He's in tears? Frustrated? Why? He just stole a forbidden scroll from the Hokage himself. That's punishable by death.
"I'm not gonna let Mizuki-sensei down! I need to master this before he gets here!" Is that the angle? Trick Uzumaki into stealing the scroll, kill him, and blame him for the whole thing. Mizuki would be a 'hero'.
Well. Now that I see the pieces in play, let's see how this plays out. I settle in, ready for the long haul.
Uzumaki keeps trying and trying and trying to perform the jutsu. I hear his bawling in anguish and frustration more than a few times. I do nothing, say nothing, reveal nothing. I need that traitor to be here before I make my move. And I don't doubt for a second he'll be here in person to get the job done.
It's almost three hours later when I sense the movement coming our way.
"Gotcha! Naruto, you jackass! What do you think you're doing?!" Umino-sensei. Hmm. He finds Uzumaki quickest, once again. Other than me, only Umino has ever found him when he doesn't want to be found. Interesting.
"Heh, you found me already? I only managed to learn one technique," Uzumaki once again shows the intelligence of a shopping bag—containing only what someone puts in him.
More movement, only quieter this time. I sniff, wondering at the strange scent in the air. Adrenaline? Someone's ready for a fight.
Kanatsu lands on a branch, already talking smack. I listen with half an ear while I plot how best to kill him. Or should I disable his legs and arms so that he can be brought in for questioning? I don't know if I'm skill enough to take down a chuunin like that, but we'll see how this plays out.
"Didn't he tell you? The reason why he hates you? Why everyone hates you?" Kanatsu looks like bottled insanity. His eyes are wide, a hint of the madness lurking within. His grin almost splits his face in two—he's enjoying what he's doing.
"No, Mizuki! It's forbidden!" Umino shouts, obviously knowing what he's talking about.
"The fact is, you killed Iruka's parents! You are the Nine-tailed Fox that nearly destroyed our village twelve years ago!"
"NOOOOOO!" Dramatic much?
Kanatsu starts spinning a Fuma shuriken, obviously preparing to strike. What is it with the dramatic build up? If you want to kill them, don't announce what you're about to do.
I take out four senbons, two in each hand. When he throws that shuriken, Umino will dive in front of Uzumaki—that's just the kind of man he is. That means the blond will be fine, and that leaves Kanatsu open to a stealth attack. He's facing me, but his focus is on the pair below. Senbons are harder to detect than kunai, because there's almost no sound as they fly through the air. This is my best bet. Now, I need to aim for the shoulder joints and the knees.
I bide my time, waiting for just the right moment. I'll only get one chance.
"NARUTO! GET DOWN!" Umino bellows, fear overpowering his tone. Kanatsu flings the giant star, it's rotation making the tips little more than a blur.
Now or never.
I fill my senbons with my chakra, flinging them at Kanatsu with all my might.
Umino body flickers in front of Uzumaki, taking the shuriken meant for him.
I can't see from this angle what Uzumaki does.
Kanatsu, however, takes all four senbons. They dig deep enough into him that there's barely an inch visible from this side. His eyes go from dark and gloating, to wide and shocked. Seeing as he now sports two senbons in his kneecaps, gravity is far less kind to him. He falls from his perch, down onto the forest floor.
Unfortunately, he lands on his back—not on his head. So he survives. That means he's conscious. And aware of his surroundings. I stay hidden, wondering how this will play out.
An Anbu Operative body flickers into the area, right over Kanatsu. I sniff, idly wondering why I recognise this one's mask.
"If you twitch the wrong way, you're dead," the Op grinds out, slamming their foot into Kanatsu's stomach. "Namiki. Get down here."
The scent of chakra fills the air. Before I can even move, the area is crawling with Anbu Ops of all types. Including Hokage-dono. Nodding to myself, I stand and move out of the shrubbery I hid away in.
I move into plain view before jumping down. One of the Ops is already tending to Umino-sensei, but none of them approach Uzumaki to calm him down. The idiots.
I move to the blond, my face held carefully blank. I see the fear, the irrationality that I've long known resides in that idiot's mind.
"Get away!" he shrieks, tear in his eyes. I don't even pause, continuing towards him. "Don't you get it?! I'm a monster! I'm a demon!"
All the jeers, the taunts, the insults, the names. They things everyone has always told him, it all makes sense now. They think he's the monster that lay waste to Konoha. The idiots.
I follow him as he backs himself up against a tree, unable to go back further. I see his tears, his fears, his eyes a clear and open window into his soul for the first time in years. He believes what Kanatsu told him to the core of his being.
I squat in front of him, just barely not touching him. "Idiot," I poke his forehead with my index finger. Then I dig into my jacket for the one thing that will let him know exactly who I am: a bar of chocolate. I fish it out, grabbing his wrist with my free hand, and thrusting this world's ambrosia into his open palm.
His eyes widen with shock, studying the bar of Suju's pure chocolate—the same size and brand and type I always leave on his counter when he's had a rough day.
I close his fist around the bar, wordlessly telling him not to drop it—kami-sama would be upset if anything happened to it. With that, I stand, turn, and start my journey back to my apartment.
"You're not done here, Aya-chan," Hokage-dono demands that I stay. Let's see. Uzumaki is no longer in danger. So no, I'm good.
"A… Aya-chan?" Uzumaki tests my name, no doubt remembering me from either the Academy or the Orphanage before then. "N-Namiki… Aya?"
I turn to him, my face completely blank. Waving lazily to acknowledge that he's right, I continue walking without a care. Until an Op body flickers right in front of me. The same one that stomped Kanatsu.
"You. Stay," she demands, pointing down to show the exact spot she means—now that I'm closer, her scent is far more noticeable, far more familiar. I snort, altering my course to show how well I follow orders. "Miwako-sensei didn't raise you like this."
I freeze in my tracks. M… mama.
"Look at him, Aya. He needs a friendly face. Can you really walk away when he needs you most?" The Op seems to know exactly where to hit me. Her scent almost reminds me of Hyuuga-san, from our class. But she keeps calling up… a face… a timid girl from back then.
I turn, facing Uzumaki once again. His mask is almost firmly in place by now, having caught his second wind. I see the fear lurking just below the surface—his need to be reminded that he's more than the demon everyone fears he is.
My being here doesn't add to or subtract from that. He just needs time. I turn from him.
"Aya," the Op lays her hand on my shoulder. Much the same way mama would.
"Who're you?" I ask, peering up at the new face mama brought home. She almost never brings people here, and never anyone she doesn't trust. The long black hair, the oval face, the nervous way she bites her lip. She's uncomfortable, probably scared of meeting me—everyone is scared the first time, for some reason. I think it's 'cause of mama. She can be scary sometimes.
"This is Hyuuga Hitomi. My junior Op," mama explains, placing her hand on the girl's shoulder and pushing her closer to me for some reason. Her scent reminds me of cinnamon and rain on dry dirt. "She's into girls much in the same way I'm into boys. Do you think that's weird?"
"It's alright, pup. You're safe with me," the Op murmurs. I gaze up at her blank mask, wondering why I trust her. I don't trust anyone. Nodding, I stay put, as she asks.
"Rabbit. Take Naruto and Aya to my office. I'll be there shortly."
8-8
Uzumaki is a ball of nervous energy. He's constantly fidgeting, looking around fearfully, shifting his weight from one leg to the next. He keeps staring at me, then staring at the bar of chocolate still in his hand. He doesn't know what to make of any of this.
I'm mostly looking around. The walls are all bare. There's only a desk with a swivel chair behind it in the room, other than three doors—one leading into the private suite Uzumaki snuck into earlier, another leading out into the receptionist area we entered from, the third, I'm not so sure.
The windows are all closed, though they don't hide the twinkling stars the dot the sky. Sure, they're not as obvious because of light pollution, but there are a few that outshine the stupidity of mankind.
The Op—Rabbit, they called her—is the only one in here with us. She's right next to me. Though she isn't close enough to accidentally touch me, I feel her warmth. I don't know what to make of her, but I can almost swear she's this same Hyuuga from back then—there's no other way to explain how easily she seeps past my defences.
She has a painted mask, and a grey jacket. Mama had a white jacket—is that an important difference? The arm guards, the shin guards, the armour, everything else is identical. Other than that mama used to wear a tanto horizontally across her lower back, and Rabbit wears a katana diagonally on her back with the grip peaking over right shoulder.
This whole situation is stupid. I did what I was supposed to. So why am I here?
Annoyed with it all, I plop onto the ground and fish out another bar of chocolate. I rip into the wrapping and take a bite. I wrap my free arm around my knees, resting my forehead against whatever part in that area it hits first.
I did what I was supposed to. I kept Uzumaki safe. I didn't kill the key suspect—though he's obviously a traitor and deserves to die. And other than Umino, no one was injured.
The door opens without warning, but I don't care enough to see who's here. I take another bite, chewing to ease the rising anxiety in me.
"You've had a very trying evening, it would seem." Hokage-dono has a talent for understatement. "How are you holding up, Naruto-kun?" Uzumaki is, of crouse, the cause for concern. That I, once again, save his ass goes unnoticed.
"Is Iruka-sensei…?"
"Hmm? Why don't you ask him yourself?" I take another bite, wondering why I need to be here for this. Umino wasn't hurt badly enough to question his survival. His flak jacket took the worst of that hit—as it was designed to.
"SENSEI!" Uzumaki is too loud. Way too loud.
There's an exchange of words I don't bother following. I just bite into my comfort, my consoler, letting it melt in my tongue as the flavours of love dance about my mouth. The only love I've ever known, the only comfort I've ever known… embodied in a bar a little bigger than my hand.
"You listen to me, Naruto," Umino demands, his tone gently. "You are not the fox. You are Uzumaki Naruto, my precious student." I take another bite, wondering why they need me here for the umpteenth time.
"But… you failed me…"
"I'm hard on you, because I care about you." I sigh. I don't need to hear this. I don't need to be here. I don't want to be here. "Now, come on. You said you were training in the forest right? Why don't you show me what you've learned?"
"YOU GOT IT, SENSEI! SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" Ah yes. Because the louder you shout the name, the more powerful the technique. It all makes sense now.
I hear something, a poof. I smell chakra usage. I take another bite—the last of the bar entering my mouth.
"Well. That is most definitely a worthy clone." I sigh, shaking my head. Why all the theatrics? Just give him the stupid forehead protector, get it over with, and tell me why I need to be here. A hand lands on my shoulder.
I turn, righting my glasses so I can see the same mask I've been gazing at all night. She squatted down to me, just to show me that she's here. I sigh again, getting to my feet just in time to see Umino replacing Uzumaki's stupid goggles with a proper forehead protector—Umino's now curiously missing. Gee, I wonder what happened.
I look to Hokage-dono—glaring dully, to be honest. He briefly raises a hand to tell me to be patient a little longer. I screw my eyes shut, doing all I can to keep my temper in check.
More words. More empty boasts—I'm gonna be Hokage for sure, believe it!—and more theatrics that certainly don't need me here as a witness. I stare at an empty spot on the wall, wondering what any of this has to do with me.
"Well, Naruto. You should head home and get some rest. I'm sure Iruka-kun could use some rest himself." Are we finally getting somewhere?
"Uhh… about that?" Uzumaki's sky blue eyes are focused on me—I can feel his gaze without even looking. "Wh-what does Aya-chan… why was she there earlier?"
"All things in time, Naruto-kun," Hokage-dono susses him, shooing him with a lazy wave.
"Sorry, old man. But I gotta know," Uzumaki refuses to leave just yet. I look in the blond's direction. I see him gripping the bar of chocolate I gave him. He has questions. Questions as pointless as the colour of the sky and the taste of water.
"You're the one. Aren't you." I gaze at him, unfazed by the 'sudden' realization. "You keep sneaking into my apartment, bringing ramen and chocolate. Aren't you?"
I shrug, letting that be my response. I don't care if he knows—if I did, I wouldn't have shown him in the first place.
"You even got kicked out of the orphanage because of me," he continues undeterred by my silence. "Why? Why did you always stand up for me when no one else cared?"
I turn my full attention to Hokage-dono, raising an eyebrow to mutely ask why I'm listening to a monologue.
"I know you ain't doing it 'cause of the old man!"
"Believe what you want," I drone, waving him off without a care. "If there is nothing else?"
"I need a word with you, Aya," Hokage-dono insists. I roll my eyes shaking my head. I stand. And I wait. And nothing happens. Uzumaki doesn't leave. Umino stands rooted where he stands. Rabbit crosses her arms under her bust. And I'm still waiting for something that doesn't seem to want to come.
"Some time tonight," I demand, a slight growl in my tone.
"Naruto. I'll come check on you in the morning. Please go home for now," Hokage-dono supposedly orders. Uzumaki mutters something I don't care to decode, before the door is swung open and the room has two less people in it.
I'll need to check on him later. He's going to drive himself up a wall, and he only had two cups of instant ramen left—and no money left to buy more.
"Thank you, Aya-chan," he finally addresses me. "Thanks to you, we were able to track him without involving anyone outside of Anbu. So the public will never know what happened tonight." I cross my arms, waiting for his high-strungness to get to the point.
"I need a full report. How you discovered this plot, what you planned, and how it worked out," he orders, his tone far more demanding.
I take a scroll out of my hip pouch, laying it on his desk without a word. He takes it, reading it right in front of me.
"I see. This is all the proof I need, thank you." I glare dully. "Dismissed. And please, come to me next time." I snort, shaking my head.
"Aya," Rabbit calls me. I turn to her, wondering what she needs. "Would it be easier if you come to me instead?" I wave her off without a word, moving towards the door.
"Your mother did the same thing, you know." I freeze, hating where this is obviously going. "Shutting me out, slowly driving herself up a wall until she finally snapped. Is that the path you wish to follow?"
I turn to her, my gaze blank as it has been all day. She takes off her mask, revealing an older version of the face I remember from that day—she can't be older than nineteen. Her eyes are a little mistier, a lot more world-weary. "You know who I am. You know your mother trained me. And you know I can read you because of it. Why are you running away from me?"
Instead of answering, I open the door and leave. This was an utter waste of my time.
8-8
Carrying only a bag of groceries, the keys to get into his apartment, and the sheer annoyance of knowing he isn't going to shut up any time soon, I open his door and stroll into his apartment like I own the place. I find him in the corner, his eyes wide with shock even as he hugs his knees—a habit we share, it seems.
I go into his kitchenette, opening his fridge. The pack of spoiled milk gets taken out, and a pack of fresh milk is put in the instead, along with five cups of instant ramen—miso, beef, and chicken flavoured for some variety. The sixth ramen cup gets put on the counter before I stuff the spoiled milk in the bag and close the fridge door. I stroll over to his water cooker, taking it out of the base and over to the sink.
Turning the water on, I fill it to its minimum required before slapping it back onto its base and clicking it on to boil the water. While that's doing its job, I go to the table, clearing off the now empty—though still warm—cups of ramen, which get tossed into the trash. I go get a cloth and wipe down the table, tossing the still wet cloth into his sink for him to deal with—per the norm.
The water starts cooking. I go back to the counter, tearing open the cup of ramen and pouring the cooking water into it. I grab a pair of chopsticks and the now hot cup, bringing them to the table and setting them down where he always puts them—there always was a smear on this spot to mark it for me.
"Come. Eat," I demand, taking the seat opposite where I placed the cup. He gets up, his gaze never wavering from me. He comes closer, pulling back the chair and plopping down onto it. "You get three questions. I don't promise to answer any of them."
"How… did you get in?" Brilliant starting point. You heard me using keys.
"Magical monkeys. Two left."
"…" he opens his mouth, but quickly shuts is. He screws his eyes shut, almost as if he doesn't want to see me for a moment. "Why don't you hate me?"
"Because you've done nothing wrong. Last shot," I drone. There's a minute and a half left before the ramen's ready to eat. I doubt he'll miss me once he has his comfort food.
"You followed me. You knew Mizuki was setting me up. Why didn't you warn me?" A smart question? I didn't think he had it in him.
"Would you have listened?" His eyes go wide from shock. I know him well enough to know he'd think I'm either jealous of his last chance or want him to fail, so he'd do it anyway. "That's three." I leave an envelope with ten thousand Ryou notes on the table. It isn't much, but it should last him until the next orphan's pay-out next week.
"A—"
"I said three. Good night." I close the door behind me, locking it for him. I step to my door—literally less than a metre away from his—quietly opening it and letting myself in. It's been a long, tiring, pointless day. Par for the course.
8-8
I jerk awake, beads of sweat decorating my forehead. Another nightmare—I already can't remember what this one was about. And really it doesn't matter. Dreams don't matter.
It's about five AM, so instead of trying to go back to sleep, I get out of my futon and make it up. I make my way through my Spartan hidey-hole. No closet for my clothes—they stay in the dryer. No nightstand for my glasses—I keep them on the low table. Only a futon to sleep in, a couch to nap on, a table for eating and doodling, cupboards that offer more space than I'll ever need, and a fridge to keep my chocolate cool.
I meander into the living room, pacing myself so I don't hit anything. Slowly making my way to the low table. I kneel, sitting to the table and start feeling around for my glasses, finding them on the second sweep.
I flick them open, feeling for the curve on the ear pieces—upside down, how typical. I don my eyewear, looking around in the dark.
FLASH!
I jerk back, covering my face with my left forearm and already fearing the worst. The light was just flicked on—someone is here, I'm completely unarmed.
"You're quite the early bird," a familiar voice drones. Hyuuga-san, no doubt. I grunt, squinting to see if my eyes are adjusting to the light. Lowering my arm, I find Hyuuga-san standing by the front door, her finger still on the light switch. Looking down, I find the four blades and my leg and hip pouches I left in one of the cupboards to keep them hidden.
"You're quite the intruder," I snipe, feeling for the keys I tied to a makeshift chain I made last night. They're still there, luckily.
"So you can do it to Naruto, but you don't want me to do it to you?" she counters smoothly. Her eyebrow is raised somewhat, but I don't know her well enough to know what that means coming from her.
"I brought him dinner. You're empty-handed," I sneer, already tired of this game. "What do you want?"
"No one's here, Aya-chan. I already cast a privacy jutsu, so no one will hear you." She probably thinks that's reassuring, but that sounds more like a threat to me than anything. "That's why I lay your weapons there, so you know I'm not here to hurt you."
"Ah yes. Because a genin stands a chance against Anbu Ops. It all makes sense now."
"You know I'm not here to hurt you."
"No, you just broke in, lay out my weapons, and want to chat like a civilized adult," I snipe. She winces.
"Fine." She waltzes over to my fridge, opening it to see what is in there. "You're not getting any chocolate from me. So you're having… peaches for breakfast." She takes out the half-full carton, setting it on the counter. She goes through the motions to make tea as well.
I narrow my eyes, trying to and failing at making sense of her.
She comes to the table not a minute later, setting the carton down with a steaming cup of tea.
"There, breakfast is served," she drones, glaring dully at me. I don't even want to know. I grab a peach, rubbing it against my pyjamas before taking a bite. "Anything else, your highness?"
"Still waiting to hear why you're stalking me while I sleep," I manage, working my tongue around the juicy, sweet fruit in my mouth.
"Are you planning to kill yourself?" she demands, her eyes boring into me. I raise an eyebrow, wondering where that's coming from. "I see the signs, Aya. Distancing yourself from the world doesn't mean a lot to the average kunoichi. To a Namiki? It means you've got one foot in the grave. Now answer the question."
"No," I drone, taking another bite.
"Why won't you answer me?" she presses. My eyes widen slightly. She knew what I was saying no to?
"Why do you care?"
"I—"
"Seven years later," I cut her off. That shuts her up.
"I screwed up, Aya." No, really? Did you? Well, thank you for the update. I never would have figured that out without your help. "I won't try to cover that up. But I'm not taking chances with this. I checked with Kitou-sensei. You haven't been to see him in almost two years. I asked around. I know you're not seeing a different shrink."
I glare at her. "Who do you think you are?" I demand. "Barging into my life ten fucking years later."
"I've made an appointment for you. Ten-thirty sharp. Cooperate, or I report you for suicidal ideation to Internal Affairs and you will be removed from active duty," she threatens.
"I'll meet your report, and raise you breaking and entering, sedition, stalking a minor, coercion, and me coincidentally matching your sexual preferences," I counter. She winces, obviously hoping I would have forgotten mama's introduction of her. "I've convinced psychologists before that I'm just fucking dandy. So who do you think suffers in this little bitch-fest?"
"I'm scared, Aya. I already lost your mother, I—"
"Switching tactics isn't gaining you points," I sneer, feeling well and truly fucking pissed off. "I can't fucking believe I felt safe with such a…" Her eyes widen, obviously shocked at my words.
"I…"
"Get out," I demand through gritted teeth. I'm in no mood for this. I haven't been in the mood for this. And this pathetic attempt to control me isn't even the best I've yet faced.
She shakes her head, her eyes suspiciously shiny. "I can't, Aya. I can't lose you, too."
"You never had me." I make the ram handseal, blocking all chakra to my head before flooding it to break the illusion. The blades disappear—the same ones I couldn't feel while I was looking for my glasses. What. A. Shock.
"I'm not giving up on you. I will not lose you. Even if that means dragging you to that appointment kicking and screaming. Even if that means you ruining my life. I'm not giving up on you."
She walks over to me, sitting next to me. She meets my angry gaze with nothing more than begging and a broken heart.
Her act is flawless. But she assumes I care. "Get. Out."
"Please," she begs, prostrating herself before me. "Please. I beg you, come with me to the appointment. Let me help you. Let me save you, like your mother saved me."
"Give me one good reason!" I bellow, balling my fists. I'm already to the point of beating this woman to within an inch of her life. If she keeps pushing, I won't care what I do to her.
"Because I need you." She looks up, tears stream down her face. She's just acting, Aya. She's playing you. She's manipulating you. She doesn't care. If she cared she'd have been there for you from the start!
Her hand caresses my cheek, her touch gentle but jerky all the same.
"I need you, Namiki Aya." The first tear drops. The first tear I've shed in years that wasn't part of a ploy, that wasn't a tool in a con, that wasn't summoned to twist the outcome to what I want it to be. Her other hand caresses my other cheek, wiping the tear away. She tugs me towards her.
I…
I don't know what's going on. I don't know what to feel. I don't understand.
She needs me?
No one needs me.
No one wants me.
No one has been allowed to get close enough for such a thing to be possible. Since mama died, I made sure of that.
I…
My head is lain against her chest. I feel the cotton of her shirt, the warmth of her body. I hear her erratic breathing, the steady thumping of her heart. I smell her tears, the lotion she used to cream her skin.
"I need you. Even if you're broken. Even if you feel like you have nothing left. I need you. Please, Aya. Please, let me help you. I'll do anything. Please."
8-8
End Chapter 1
8-8
A/N: The spin-off I thought wouldn't happen. I have no idea why these ideas don't leave me alone, I have enough unfinished projects to work on!