Unfortunately, this feels really rushed, although I spent a lot of time on it. I am SO bad at Edward's POV; I hope I didn't butcher it.

Music inspiration: The Faint

Disclaimer: All of this belongs to Stephenie Meyer

The phone in my pocket vibrated. I didn't reach for it. Couldn't they just leave me alone? That's all I wanted; to wallow in my misery forever. I didn't have the will to do anything anymore. The reason for my existence was safer without me and that's why I was here. I had tried distracting myself from the pain. I tried my hand at tracking but I was so terrible at it that I gave up. All I could think about was her and I wished that she was thinking about me too. My family probably thought I was in a fetal position, rocking in a dark corner. It wouldn't be that far from the truth.

The phone ceased its vibration. It sat still for a second and then began again. With a sigh I picked it out of my pocket, flipped it open, and held it up to my ear.

"What?" I growled. I immediately felt slightly guilty. What if it was Carlisle or Alice checking in on me? I knew they worried.

"Edward?" It was Rosalie. My guilt quickly dissolved.

"What?" I said again.

"It's Bella." I immediately perked at the sound of her name. But what news was important enough to call me for?

"What?" I repeated once more.

"Alice just saw her jump off of a cliff."

I felt what little color was left in my face drain out. It was suddenly harder to swallow.

"What?" That seemed to be the only word I was capable of saying.

"Alice didn't see her resurface."

I shut the phone. Of course, I knew that Bella wouldn't live forever, but this was so soon! Was she so depressed by my departure to want to commit suicide? No, I was giving myself too much credit. It must have been something else. But I desperately wanted that to be the reason. Stupid selfishness!

Obviously, I should check to make sure. I flipped open my phone again and dialed the familiar number without thinking about it. A husky voice I didn't recognize answered.

"Swan residence."

I figured someone in Forks would more likely know who Carlisle was than me.

"Hello. This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. May I speak to Charlie Swan?"

"He's not here," came the angered reply.

"Where is he?" I pressed the phone harder to my ear, starting to get more frightened.

"He's at the funeral."

It took less than a second for the words to sink in. That was all I needed to hear. I shut the phone once again and let out a strangled moan. My chest suddenly felt hollow and everything was a haze. I had to get to Italy, and fast. The sooner I was destroyed, the sooner the pain would end. I ran straight to the airport without caring if a human noticed me, dropping my phone in a trash can I passed.

On the plane, I planned and thought. I would go straight to Aro and ask him to get rid of me. Of course, Aro wouldn't want to. He'd think it was a waste. He'd been wanting me to join the Volturi guard because of my special "talent" although through these past months it has seemed more like a burden. Every time I got to close to a couple and heard their love-soaked thoughts, I felt something stabbing my long-dead heart. I thought about Bella every minute of every day and still it was not enough. The funny thing was, I was about to give up and beg her to take me back before she decided to take her own life. Pain shot through my whole body again and it was hard to stay in my seat.

Take her own life. I couldn't allow myself to say or think the actual word. Better to use euphemisms. They were less painful.

Back to planning the suicide; it was a good distraction. Yes, Aro would probably refuse my request. What would he think about my longing for destruction? Felix and Demitri would probably laugh. Caius and Marcus would be skeptical. But they didn't understand. Nobody understood.

I genuinely hoped none of my family tried to stop me. Nothing they could say would dissuade me from my plan. And I hoped that they didn't try to avenge my "murder"; I couldn't bear the thought of my family going up against the Volturi. They would surely lose. Another pang of agony gouged my already shredded heart.

I prayed that they knew there was no hope to save me, even though I knew they would still try. I squeezed my eyes shut.

So, Aro would say no. What then? I would do something to expose them in their own beloved city. Throw a car or something. It wouldn't really be that hard. But I still wanted to ask first; if Aro said yes it would be that much quicker.

The plane landed and I was out and running to the city before any of the passengers unbuckled their seat belts. I could've taken a car of course, but running soothed me.

I pondered how I would ask. He would insist that he learn my past, something he could do by just touching me. Everything I've ever thought, displayed to him like a museum. The thought disgusted me. I guess I'd just have to ask outright.

The city came into view. I easily scaled the surrounding wall and found myself in what looked like the slums of the city. I swiftly navigated the streets until I found a sewer hole. I remembered that all of them led to the Voltruri stronghold so I jumped in and ran through until I reached an open iron wrought door.

Then I was in a brightly lit corridor. Felix and Demitri were at the opposite end, standing on either side of an elevator door. I was already there.

"Edward," Felix sneered. "What brings you here?"

"I need to see Aro, now." I was not in the mood for conversation.

What business would Mr. Goody Too-Shoes have with Lord Aro?

"Go on up," Demitri said and the doors slid open. They followed me in. On a higher floor, I passed a human receptionist who was filing her nails behind her desk. As we approached, she smiled at me warmly. I glared back murderously. I was then escorted down more brightly lit corridors to the Grand Hall. Aro and his ancient brethren were there, along with their wives and the guard. Jane was in attendance. She grinned maliciously at me as I entered. Her head was an uncomfortable place to be in; she thought only of causing others pain.

"Edward!" Aro cried enthusiastically. "What brings you here, dear fellow?"

What does he want? Caius thought.

"Aro, I must ask you a favor. Something that needs to be carried out immediately."

Without answering, he drifted toward me and raised his hand.

May I? He asked me in his head.

My face stony, I touched my hand to his. There was a rush of color and sound as he read everything I'd ever seen and thought. It was getting sucked out of me like a vacuum. I could honestly say that my life was flashing before my eyes. If I had a life, that is. It started at the beginning; my brief human life to my first years as a vampire and through my months with Bella, until finally stopping at a second before he touched me. Seeing the flickers of memories of times spent with Bella brought on a whole new wave of pain in my still heart.

"You want to end your existence?" His tone was marred with disapproval and disappointment. A few of the other vampires stirred slightly. I ignored the hum of thoughts that flowed from them.

"Immediately," I repeated.

"I was hoping that you'd join the guard instead. You'd be wonderful asset, what with your talent!" How could his disposition be so sunny when the sun had exploded?

When I didn't answer, he fidgeted uncomfortably.

"We'll discuss it." I took that as my cue to leave. I nodded slightly and strode stiffly from the room.

From my sampling of his thoughts, I already knew Aro didn't want to grant my wish.

Sure enough, when they called me back in, they announced it officially. Aro made the offer to become part of the guard again but I declined and left.

"Please refrain from doing anything rash!" Aro called to my retreating figure. I saw what you were planning, he added in his head.

When I got back outside and into the night, I walked. It was the only thing I could do to stop myself from attacking anything that moved. What could I do to merit an unquestionable demise?

I could throw a heavy object into a wall. I could hunt humans. I could stand in the sun.

I was favoring the hunting idea. It was the most unforgivable thing to do, kill a human in Volterra. Even the vampire rulers got sustenance from elsewhere. It would fully expose our condemned race. And besides, I was thirsty. It seemed the most logical thing to do, and I could do it right now.

I took great care in choosing which of the citizens I would drink from. I had to make sure there were witnesses as well, so that the crime was punished firmly. The punishment is what I wanted, not the actual blood.

I caught sight of a young girl with a heart-shaped face and long brown hair walking past me. I started to shadow her. For some reason, I was very taken with her. I took a deep breath as her scent wafted toward me. I decided to stop her.

"Ciao." She turned when she heard my voice and gawked when she saw me. It was then I realized what made her so appealing to me. She reminded me of Bella. The only difference was her height and her eyes; they were green and shallow as compared to the deep chocolate I was used to. Then, suddenly, I saw Carlisle's face in my mind. Why was I doing this? He would be incredibly disappointed I'd stooped this low to get what I wanted. It was like that first day in Biology all over again, except without Bella's suffocating scent.

Any words I would have said to lure her got stuck in my throat on the way out. Like the coward I was, I fled, heading toward the center of the city.

I saw a sign posted on a brick wall in the plaza. It informed me, in Italian, that St. Marcus Day was tomorrow and there would be a grand festival in the very plaza I was standing in. Another plan was already formulating in my mind. Hundreds of people would be in the same place, at the same time. If I were to walk out in the sunlight… everyone would see… it would be hard to forget…

The clock tower behind me began to chime; it was midnight.

Under the clock. Everyone would be looking that way anyway.

The clock chimed again.

Noon. The sun would be highest in the sky.

Perfect.

Please review, I need some constructive critisism because so far I don't like it.